Into The Sunlight
by CMELO
Summary: Buffy has grown into a wonderful woman and remembers her lost day of bliss with Angel she goes to confront him to find out he is human. Can their love truly survive the test of time? Can they finally be happy? Are they strong enough to fight this new e
1. Chapter 1

_A/N I have been a BIG Buffy fan from the very beginning. I loved every episode and Season. I felt the show ended with a lot of un answered questions. Joss was unable to give me my happy ending. So I decided to share how I would have like things to be. I have had this for a while and decided to post it. Hope you enjoy it_

Disclaimer: I own nothing, Bill is my character!

Chapter 1

"So are we going to do this or not" Buffy asked Spike as she pulled her honey blond hair into a ponytail. Spike who was stretched out in a chair groaned as he stood up.

"Don't get you knickers in a twist pet," he said as he took off his jacket. Friendship was forgotten as they circled each other. Giles who was working in the other room came to see what the ruckus was all about. He watched his slayer in battle moving gracefully. Buffy moved gracefully kicking, punching and blocking, Spikes advancing attack. Dancing, Giles thought to himself as he left the room she looks like she is dancing.

Buffy blocked a punch from Spike and swept his legs out from beneath him sending him sprawling to the floor. Quickly she was on top of him pinning him to the floor.

"Uncle come on say uncle" Buffy laughed.

"Bloody hell you're a dirty fighter Slayer" Spike mumbled beneath

At that Buffy let him up and walked over to the mini fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. Spike on the other hand plopped himself back down on the sofa looking for his cigarettes_. Slayer_ he thought to himself. Never in a million year would he have thought he would befriend a Slayer, but he did he admired her strength and spirit. She helped him when those solider boys put the bleeding chip in his head rendering him helpless and an outcast among his kind. Their friendship bloomed over time and soon he was one of gang. His little witch help with a spell allowing him to fight and walk in the light of day but not feed on other human. He could live with that.

Buffy pulled her hair lose and glanced at Spike he was a good friend always there when she need him whether it be a hug or a kick in the ass. He was there to help her deal when Angel had left Angel she thought her breath catching in her throat a dull aching pain shot threw her heart just at the thought of him. She shook her head to clear her thoughts, walking over to Spike who was now lighting a smoke. She reached for it and plucked it from his fingers and broke it in two.

"Hello standing right here. Do we have to have this conversation again?" she asked crossing her arms.

"Hey" he yelled getting to his feet. "Those things are expensive I won't forget this". He ranted walking a way from her.

As those words were spoken a little door unlocked in Buffy's mind _I'll never forget_" the emotion hit her so hard she fell to the floor the noise her palms made as they slapped the marble floor echoed off the walls. Her breathing became ragged as images flooded her mind, Angel in the sunlight kissing her, Ice cream and kisses love making all over his apartment. Spike who had seen her fall to her knees was at her side calling her name. Not getting any response from Buffy began to yell for Giles franticly.

Giles came running at once he stopped seeing Buffy on the floor trembling watching the sweat soaked through her clothes.

"Buffy " he whispered afraid to touch her falling next to her. He looked at Spike

"What did you do?" he asked causing Spike glared at him

"Nothing " he went on to explain what happened, but he stopped in mid sentence he smelt blood looking at Buffy he could see droplets forming a small puddle between her hands.

Buffy struggled to get air in her burning lung Angel human feeling his heart beat not enough time I'll never forget, I'll never forget" the memories came rushing back to her. Spike who had just about enough reached a hand out to her when his cool finger touched her feverish skin the memories that clutched her were

gone.

Buffy slowly raised her head; Giles noticed her nose was bleeding

"His heart I felt his heart beating" she mumbled over and over, Giles ran to get her towel.

Spike was confused and worried so he gently murmured "Buffy what is it?"

She cut him off with a sob "Angel I felt his heart beat " she cried hysterically.

Spike gathered her in his arms trying to comfort his friend. "I felt his heart beat," she cried and with that thought Buffy went slack in his arms.

He picked her up and walked her into the bedroom and gently put her down. Giles came in and began to wipe her face.

"What is she talking about" he asked Spike who stood up walking out of the room.

"I not sure but I will bloody well find out. Keep her here" he called out over his shoulder.

Spike made his way to Willows he walked in to their apartment. She smiled when he walking in to the bedroom

"Hi babe" she said smiling up at him from her place on the floor. Looking at his expression she asked.

"What is it?" he filled Willow in on what happened. She shook her head

" I just new something was different when she came back from LA" with those words Willow walked into their bed room a few minutes later she came back into the room with her diary showing it to Spike he read her passage about Buffy's return.

"Her energy seemed off I just chalked it up to stress" she stated sitting down on the sofa. Her legs felt weak.

"Oh Spike what are we going to do?" she gasped her hand on her throat.

The phone rang causing them to jump. Spike reached for the phone on its third ring, he listened for a moment and quickly spoke to Willow who was know standing next to him.

"Giles said that she's awake and packing for LA we had better get over there"

Spike waited for Willow to grab her coat and purse then they both left heading back over to Buffy's house.

Upon entering Buffy's house Willow and Spike heard Buffy yelling at Giles

"Listen I can't explain this right now. I need you to just trust me I know what I remember is real and I am going Giles" Buffy voice was full of emotion almost pleading for him to understand.

" Buffy you haven't seen Angel in four years". Giles started just for Buffy to cut him off.

"Giles please try to understand I felt his heart beat" her voice broke Willow rushed into the room hugging Buffy.

"Are you alright how can we help" She asked holding her tight.

Buffy smile was a watery one " Can I borrow your car? I need to go to LA my jeep is still in the shop I can't explain it Will"

Willow shook her head "I believe you" was all she said, " Take the car no wait we'll drive you"

Buffy nodded her head grabbing her bag off the bed she walked into the living room picked up the phone.

"Hi Bill Buffy here can you cover my class for me tomorrow I have to leave town for a day or so" she waited and said "Thanks I owe you one" she hung up the phone and said " Lets go." They all piled into the car and started out towards LA.

* * *

Angel felt that familiar tingle pass down his spine _Buffy_ he thought no it can not be God how he missed her his love for her grew with each passing day. She had turned into a beautiful woman ever so often he would drive to Sunnydale to see her from the shadows of course four years it seemed like an eternity since he held her in his arms. No he thought she had her own life. A life without him. He forced him self to concentrate on the file before him going back to work.

From where he sat he heard the door chime jiggle and Cordy's happy greeting "Welcome to" here words trailed off " Oh God Buffy it is so good to see you"

Angel walked into the reception area to see Cordy gathering Buffy up in her arms happiness written all over her face. Buffy returned her embrace.

" I've misses you to Cordy how is Doyle and the baby" was Buffy's response.

Before Cordy could answer she saw Buffy's smile drop and her eye's fill with pain Cordy stepped back allowing Angel full view on his beloved.

"Buffy" he went to say more but was cut off.

" I remember," she said as she walked over to him placing her hand just above his chest it hovered there. She was almost afraid to touch him.

"I felt your heart beat" Buffy whispered. Spike, Willow and Cordy pulled themselves back watching. Angel became aware of the people in his office he focused on Willow anything not to meet Buffy's tortured look

" Willow how are... Spike what are you doing here". He asked glaring at the blond.

Buffy answered gazing at his face, "Spike is with me, Answer me is it true?"

Angle hung his head in defeat he closed his eyes before responding.

"Yes it's true" he went on to explain. Buy the time he was done Buffy was completely white.

"How could you" she started but was interrupted by Angel

"You were never suppose to remember," he said softly.

Buffy shot daggers at him with her eyes, pain and anger washed over her causing her to her yelled.

"How dare you take that choice away from me? Just who do you think you are?"

"Buffy you would have been killed" Angel said trying to gather her in his arms trying to absorb the pain flowing her body.

"No do not touch me do not ever touch me again or so help me God I will kill you," She whispered as she tried to blink away the gathering tears.

Angel took a step back from her "Buffy. Please you know how much I love you" he tried again to reach her.

At those words Buffy doubled over emptying her stomach into Cordy wastebasket instantly Spike and Willow were at her side.

"Slayer" Spike asked "you all right" his hands rubbing her back.

Buffy clutched his arm for support she turned her gaze once more to Angel who was standing very still eyeing Spike.

"Why" she pleaded finally finding her voice.

"Buffy I did it to protect you; you were never to remember, Buffy you were my whole world can't you see that" he pleaded.

Cordy choose that moment to step from the shadow her face pained for her friends.

Softly she whispered. "Angel tell her"

"Cordy stay out of this" he growled not looking at her.

Buffy moved in between them both her eyes going to Cordy then to Angel.

"There is more? What?" Buffy asked almost afraid to hear what they had to say.

Cordy waited for Angel to reply when he remained silent she hung her head and whispered. "He is human"

The earth fell away from Buffy she hit the floor hard she looked up at Angel betrayal flashing in her eyes.

"Human" she cried, " How can he be human. How long.. When?" Buffy asked no emotion in her voice. Her mind raced over her newfound memories and was unable to put it together.

Angel knelt down besides her drawings in a ragged breathe softly said. "Two years. I have been human for two years."

Buffy was on her feet at once Angel stood just in enough time to have his face collide with Buffy's fist knocking him off his feet rage flowing through her body giving her the strength she need. Just at that moment Darla walked in to the office from the door that connected onto his apartment

"Angel love are you ready to go" her words trailed off in mid sentence. All eyes were on Darla, before anyone could blink Buffy had her pined up against the door with a stake held in her hand.

"Buffy NO" Angel yelled putting himself between the two of them.

" Angel what is going on" Darla asked with fear in her voice.

Spike stepped forward shock clearly expressed on his handsome face.

"What is bloody hell is going on here?" he asked.

Angel hung is head and could not believe what was happening. He took a deep breath and said.

" She is human it's a long story" he said running his hand threw his hair.

Buffy pulled away like she had been burned memories of Faith danced in her mind she backed right into Willow who clutched at her hand.

"It's nice to see something's never change," she said to no one in particular.

Talking a deep breath Buffy turned to Cordy "Can you recommend a place to stay tonight?"

Cordy just knobbed her head; her heart breaking for her two friends.

"You all can stay with me tonight" she said with a quick look to Angel who nodded his head in agreement

Buffy took one more look at Angel almost burning his image in to her mind and said.

"Last time we met I told you that I had found someone that I could love and trust and depend on" she placed a hand on her for forehead as she hung her head.

Angel took in her defeated look wanting nothing more than to comfort her but he knew now was not the time or place.

"But that was a lie because it didn't matter who I was with you still held my heart and soul" Buffy's gaze fixed on Darla who was standing in the circle of his embrace causing such pain in her heart it robbed her of her breath.

" I tried to move on lead a normal life, the life you thought I so rightly deserved but life doesn't work out that way. You see because I was never a normal girl, you held my heart and my soul. When you left you took those things with you, but no more because I take back those things I gave you. I don't need you anymore I don't love you anymore."

Buffy had to stop as emotions flood her system she fought for control, once they were in check she continued.

"The first time I said those words to you they were a lie but know you are as dead to me as the day I sent you to hell" Buffy heart screamed as the lies poured from her mouth but she could not stop them. She wanted to hurt him as much as he had hurt her.

Turning toward Spike and Willow who was still holding her hand, Buffy noticed she too had tears flowing from her eyes as well feeling her friend's pain.

"Spike, Willow I am ready to leave know" and with those words she walked out of his office.

If it were not for the support of both Spike and Willow she would be a heap on the floor. Cordy watched her friend walk out of the office.

"Angel I'm so sorry" she started but he shook his head.

"No Cordy it is not your fault you did what you thought you had to. Please just take care of her until I can work this out" Cordy nodded and walked out of the office.

Spike was standing by the car when he saw Cordy he waked towards her lighting a cigarette.

"We will follow you love" he smiled and climb in behind the wheel Cordy saw Willow in the back seat with Buffy who looked stone cold almost frozen she walked to her car.

"This is going to be a long night" she sighed


	2. Chapter 2

A/N Thanks to all of you that reviewed. I have changed a few things Doyle is very much alive in my story. Keep them coming

Disclaimer: I own nothing … if I did they would be living happily ever after somewhere.

Chapter 2

Once everyone was settled in for the night Cordy slowly walked towards the room Buffy was in and gently knocked.

"Buff are still awake," she asked poking her head in.

"Come on in" Buffy called out her back to the door.

Cordy walked to see Buffy complete dressed this caused her to frown she sat down on the bed.

"Buffy what are you doing?" she asked quickly

" I just want to make a quick sweep" Buffy responded not looking at her yet. She was too busy hiding stakes throughout her clothing.

"But Buffy" Cordy began " you can't I mean with all you dealt with today. Is it really wise for you to go out there?" Cordy got to her feet and moved towards the door. She had to call Angel.

Buffy just shook her head finally looking at her old friend. Cordy had changed a lot since she met Doyle.

"I need to get out. Think.. I need to be alone for a while" Buffy said walking to her friend stopping before her. Cordy stood rooted to her spot. Angel was going to kill her

" Cordy don't worry" Buffy said touching her shoulder, when the brunette did not move Buffy smiled waving her hand in front of her face laughing.

" Buffy… Slayer.. Remember that's me" Buffy smiled patting her on the shoulder and walked out the door.

Cordy ran for the phone, she nearly tripped over her bunny slippers she grabbed the phone and dialed Angels number Darla answered

"Put Angel on the phone and don't you have a home" Cordy's dislike of the woman showing in her statement. She heard the phone being put down and muttering in the back round.

"Cordy what is wrong is it Buffy?" Angel asked his voice sounded strained.

"Angel, Buffy has gone out to patrol just thought to let you know especially with those Paccar demons on the loose". Cordy remembered the pictures Angel has shown her. They were deadly and ate their victims.

Angel swore under his breath, he muttered a quick "Thanks" and hung up the phone he reached for his Jacket and headed for the door.

"Where are you going I thought we were going to have dinner together?" Darla whined.

Angel stopped at the door and said " You just don't get it do you Darla" and with that he walked out the door and headed for Cordy's house.

He parked the car about a block from her house and started to walk "_If I were Buffy were would I go_" he thought to himself. He ended up into the park he felt that familiar feeling wash over him, letting him know what she was near. Angel stopped to listen, he heard rustling coming from behind the trees in the far corner. Angel broke out into a run he crashed through the trees and came upon Buffy fighting two of the Paccar demons. He felt the air leave his lungs as he watched, God she was beautiful in the moonlight, she was a rain shower of kicks and punches. She knocked one demon off its feet while she turned with a spin kick knocking the other down.

Buffy sure of her footing jumped back into her fighting stance ready for the next attack. In her head she could hear Giles yelling, "_Kill them already why are you playing with them_". Buffy waited needed an outlet for all her emotions. Just as the demon attached once again she felt that ripple of emotion as her senses felt Angel.

Buffy threw a quick glance to her right she saw Angel standing off to the side. Emotions rushed through Buffy and for a moment she forgot where she was. The next thing Buffy knew she was sailing threw the air the right side of her body was on fire and pain ricochet throughout her.

She hit the ground hard her breath rushing out of her lungs. Angel broke out into a run swearing under his breath he should not have come he thought as he collided with the demon. Buffy struggled to get to her feet feeling blood run down her body, she tried to focus on the demon that was approaching.

Unable to more her right arm she raised her left ready to defend herself. The demon approached Buffy swung out connecting with its face; Buffy struggled to keep her footing before the demon could attack again, and suddenly it dropped to the ground, Angel having snapped it neck.

Their eye's met as he walked over to her "You could have killed yourself" he said stopping in front of her.

Buffy turned slowly trying to keep her balance " I was doing just find until you came along and distracted me"

Angel put a hand to steady her causing Buffy to flinch away from his touch. He dropped his hand and said, " We have to get those quills out of you."

Buffy walking slowly said " I'll have Willow do it once I get back to Cordy's no need for you to worry" Buffy stopped her whole right side was covered from neck to ankle in quills. She was quickly loosing the feeling in her side.

"God dam it Buffy stop your hurt, bleeding and have 2inch quills sticking out of you. My place is closer than Cordy's" Angel said trying to control his temper.

Buffy continued to walk as best as she could only to have him grabbed her left arm turning her around to face him. The sudden motion caused Buffy to cried out in pain.

"Your going to attract every vampire with in a 50 mile radius with the way your bleeding let me help you" Angel pleaded.

Buffy held out her good hand "Can I borrow your cell phone" she asked watching him reached into his pocket and handed it to her.

Buffy dialed a number and waited " Spike sorry to wake you but can you and Willow come and get me I was fighting with a" looking at Angel she asked "what kind of demon was that" he told her and she spoke once more into the cell phone. "Paccar demon and he shot these spike thingies" she paused to listen "No no I am bleeding a lot though yeah I am at the park I'll wait by the road."

With that she hung up and handed the phone back to Angel and started to make her way slowly to the road. Angel came up behind her and picked her up off her feet. Buffy gasped as pain shot through her shoulder as the quill's sunk deeper into her skin.

" Put me down" she screamed unable to struggle.

"If you struggle you'll hurt your self more." Angel said holding her close as he walked up the hill to the roadside.

Buffy found her body betraying her she had to force herself not snuggle deeper into his embrace she let her head rest on his shoulder. She told herself it was due to loss of blood that she was feeling so lighted headed. They reached the road and waited for Spike and Willow to arrive Buffy just relaxed letting her self enjoy the feel of his body this one last time.

Just than his cell phone Angel reached for his phone not letting go of Buffy enjoying the feel of his body against hers. _Home _he thought to himself as he flipped the phone open _she feels like home_.

"Darla I will have to call you back no I do not know when I be back" Angel all but yelled into the phone.

He felt Buffy stiffen against his body at the mention of the other woman's name. She began to wiggle free from his hold as he hung up the phone.

"Buffy hold still" he said not wanting to drop her.

"Put me down I can stand on my own" the Slayer whispered not looking at him.

"Buffy please " he started just to have her cut him off.

"You are hurting me," she whispered feeling very cold. The pain was not physical but emotional just being near him made her remember all that she had lost. Of what would never be.

He put her down at once and took a step back. Angel just starred at her, pain flashing in his eye's Buffy had to bit her lip to stop form crying out at the loss of his touch. Just then they saw Spike's car come over the hill it stopped in front of her.

Both Spike and Willow climbs out and walked over to their friend.

"My gosh Buffy" Willow said looking at the quills that ran from her ankle to her neck and the blood that covered both her and Angle.

Spike opened the door and helped her into the back seat then he turned to Angel asking. "Do you need a lift?"

Angel was just about to mention his car when he found himself saying.

"Yes I'll go with you to Cordy's" Spike just nodded his head. He walked around and climbed into the front seat as Willow sat next to Buffy.

The ride back was quite until Buffy said "Willow I really don't feel well"

Spike spoke up and said "Loss of blood, those Paccar demons shoot out there quills to immobilize there victim before they eat them, consider yourself very luck they only got your one side".

They pulled into the driveway to see Cordy open the door.

"Willow I don't think I can walk I can't feel my leg" Buffy muttered not able to move.

Angel hearing this opened the back door and reached in for Buffy. Spike seeing his intention stepped in and scooped up the slayer and carried her into the house. Buffy sent a silent _Thank you_ to the heavens. She could not bear having him near knowing he was going home to Darla, God how fate was cruel the only man she'd ever loved did not want to be with her _"a freak show"_ his words spoken so many years ago repeated over in her head.

Spike placed her on the bed and asked Cordy if she has a first aid kit. Cordy ran to get it as Spike instructed Willow to make Buffy as comfortable as possible this was going to be painful. Cordy returned with the first aid kit and a pair of scissors to cut away her clothing and some towels to help with the blood.

"Sorry Cordy for making a mess" Buffy said forcing her mind to focus on her friend instead of the pain.

" Don't worry I will send you the bill for the cleaning" Cordy said offering her a smile.

Spike began to cut away Buffy's pant legs trying to be a careful as possible. Cordy looked towards her daughter's room.

"I'll be quite Cordy" Buffy said as she sucked air through her teeth.

Cordy just smiled and said, "I can't watch this" and walked out of the room.

Spiked reached her thigh and stopped and handed the scissors to Willow telling her cut away the rest of the clothing and cover her up with a blanket leaving her right side exposed. Angel stood rooted to the floor staring at Buffy's bloodied leg feeling her pain as if it were his own. He was snapped out of his thoughts when he felt Spike pushing him out of the room muttering something about giving her some privacy.

A few moment later Willow called them back Angel took in Buffy white complexion thinking the pain is yet to come.

Spike sat down next to her, his hands cupped her face his eyes locked in on hers and said

"Love this going to hurt like a son of a bitch but I will do it as quickly as I can once they are all out you will feel much better."

Buffy just nodded her head and gripping Willow hand as Spike pulled out the tweezers. Willow swallowed loudly worrying about her own hand clutched in Buffy's.

"Angel come here I am going to need your help" he said looking at Buffy

" I need you to hold down her leg while I pull these out so her leg does not jump or move. Buffy do you trust me" Spike asked forcing Buffy to focus on him.

She nodded her confirmation Angel felt a surge of jealousy as he watched Spike with Buffy. The Slayer released Willow's hand reading her friends thoughts and grabbed a towel clenching in her first. Willow smiled and placed her hand over her friends.

Buffy's whole body jumped when Angel placed his hands on her bare leg sending shocks throughout her system. Buffy closed her eyes and prepared for what was to come.

She felt Spike pull the first quill from her ankle she had to bit her lip to keep from crying out she could feel the blood flowing again. Spike move steadily and with a sure hand trying not to hurt his friend. Half way threw Buffy thought to her self _I will not scream there is a baby sleeping down the hall_ her body covered in a thick sheet of sweat as tears ran from her closed lids. Spike was at her waist now Buffy moaned as the pain became unbearable.

They were at her shoulder know Spike having pulled 30 of the quills from her body he new the pain his friend was feeling, Angel held her as still as he possible could wishing he could absorb her pain.

Finally they reached her neck. Spike leaned in and whispered softly to prepare his friend.

"These will be the most painful pet" Spiked pulled the first Buffy all but jumped off the bed.

"We are almost threw here," Spike said pulling another free. "Angel, hold her head Willow grab a hold of her legs".

He pulled the second free Buffy whimpered, Angel just reacted he dropped to his knees and began to whisper words of encouragement in her ear Buffy focused on his voice not what he was saying. When the pain reached it's maximum Angel continued to speak to her until the last was pulled from her neck.

Buffy sighed from relief. Spike said something that Buffy did not understand still caught inside the blanket of pain, which throbbed from her body.

Her eye flew open as she felt her body burst into flames as Spike pour rubbing alcohol over her entire wounded side. Her mouth flew open as the shock of the heat over took her senses.

Angel having seen that she was not prepared for this placed his hand over her mouth as she screamed out in terrible pain. The last things she remembered were Angel's eyes before she fell into the black abyss.

Buffy felt safe and warm and the thumbing under ear hear kept time with her own heart.

She signed to herself and snuggled closer to Angel, suddenly her eye flew open and she pulled away from his body.

"Morning how do you feel" he asked sitting up.

Buffy looked around trying to find her bearing as memories of the night before filtered into her head. Suddenly realized she was completely naked except for the mummy wrapping on her right side under the thin sheet that draped around her waist.

Buffy snatched the sheet clutching it to her chest she said, "Get out! Why are you here?"

He slowly got off the bed and asked "Do you remember last night" Angel looked around for his shirt seeing it on the floor. He reached to pick it up.

"That still does not explain why you are here," she repeated looking out the window.

Angel walked around to the other side of the bed, Buffy closed her eyes to block him out because if she were to look at him she would lost.

"Angel" She started " I cant do this anymore I can not understand why" she opened her eye's to look at him and stopped dead in her tracks, tears filled her eyes there was the man that she love with all her heart and soul bathed in the rays of sun that came through the window.

Buffy began shake as she fought for control she began to look around like a trapped animal, finally she whispered pulling into herself. "Please get out I can't"

She curled herself up into a tiny ball on the bed fighting the tears that wanted to fall.

"What" he asked completely shocked at her reaction "Buffy don't shut me out" he pleaded.

Cordy heard Buffy cry out entered the room followed by the others. Willow gasping at the sight before her, Angel standing in the sunshine.

"What?" Angel asked again becoming annoyed. Then it hit him as he caught his refection in the mirror seeing him self surrounded by the light. Realizing what an effect this was having on everyone he moved towards the door. Before walking out of the room he stopped by the bed and reached for Buffy.

He pulling her into his arms kissing her gently on her cold lips he whispered

"This is far from over" he put her down and walked out of the room.

Everyone silently walked out of the room but Willow who asked if Buffy need any help getting dress.

A few moments later they both emerged from the room Willow holding Buffy's over night bag.

"I feel like a mummy," she said trying to sound happy but failing miserably. Cordy handed her a mug of coffee and sat down.

"So how is life in Sunnydale" She asked motioned for Buffy to do the same. Once they were both seated did Buffy respond.

"Pretty much the same Anya and Xander are expecting" and so the chitchat began.

Doyle walked into the kitchen and leaned over to give Buffy a hug but stopped when he saw all the bandages so he gave her good shoulder a squeeze.

"Good to see you Slayer. Sorry I missed all the action" Before anyone could answer in came Piper holding her doll "Aunt Buffy" she squealed.

Buffy scooped the little girl up and planted a kiss on her head. Time seemed to fly until Willow mentioned if they wanted to head back they should be leaving. Hugs and kisses were passed out Buffy told Cordy to come down for the upcoming long weekend and they would do something. Cordy agreed, just as they were about to climb in to the car Cordy grabbed Buffy's hand and whispered

"Buffy... He still loves you that has never changes he did what he thought was best" Buffy just looked at Cordy as sad smile filled her face. She took a moment to think before responding.

"No Cordy he did what he thought best for him" they both looked at each other for a moment longer then Buffy climbed in to the car


	3. Chapter 3

A/N Just wanted to say THANK YOU to all of you that have reviewed. This is a true labor of love for me. Please keep them coming. I am glad you all seem to be enjoying it!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Chapter 3

Angel pulled up into Cordy's drive way and she met him at the door.

"How is she?" he asked taking in her tired face and tense shoulders.

She just looked at him and said in a very flat voice

"I am sorry Angel but she's gone". Cordy stepped back to allow him to enter the house.

Angel walked into the living room and smiled seeing Doyle playing with Piper, he sat down heavily on the sofa.

"Cordy what am I going to do?" he sighed closing his eyes and leaned back against her sofa. His hand racked through his chocolate brown hair.

Cordy sat next to her friend and thought for a moment trying to process all she wanted to say.

"You will give her time. She is hurting a lot, you have caused her a lot of pain all she can see know is the betrayal." The brunette leaned into him placing her hand over his and continued to speak softly.

"The old me would have said … _if you had listen to me from the very beginning none of this would be happening right know_" Cordy sighed wrapping her arm around Angel.

"But I know she still loves you or she would not have reacted the way she did" she said with a soft smile trying to offer him some hope.

"I only did what I thought was best" he started but was cut off by his friend.

"Angel best for you or Buffy? I have never met two people who deserve happiness like you and Buffy. When you first became human I thought the first person you would of gone running to was Buffy but you didn't. At first I thought it was the shock or you where getting use to the idea but you never went to her or called. I just don't get it, you are human and you have earned the right to be happy and loved." Cordy stood up unable to sit as her frustration rushed to the surface.

"But instead of going to her! What do you do? …You sit at home living in memories and Darla lets not even go there" Cordy stalked from the room her words echoing in the room.

A few moments later she returned with coffee the flush was gone from her face telling Angel she had calmed down. He murmured a "Thanks" as he accepted the hot mug; he was about to speak when she said.

"So the question is what are you going to do about it? There is a very hurt and lonely woman in Sunnydale who is just as stubborn as you are!" Cordy once more leaned into the sofa getting comfortable waiting on his answer.

"She has changed so much" Angel muttered to himself more to anyone else. Sure she looked the same, older but the same she was different there was a sadness to her an acceptance that was not there before.

Cordy just sighed with a shake of her head. He was going to be difficult. She simply said putting her mug on the side table.

"Buffy has grown into a beautiful woman. She is a Sergeant in the Sunnydale police academy, she is the strongest Slayer to ever walk the earth the only thing missing is you to completed the perfect picture" Cordy once more reached out touch his shoulder. She was about to tell him a few things he was not aware of and wanted to soften the blow.

"All she has left is Dawn, who is away at school most of time now, and with Joyce passed on."

Angel choked oh his coffee he was quickly passed a napkin he placed his mug on the table and turned to face his friend.

"What? When did this happen" His eyes clouded over thinking of the woman who loved her daughter and tried to protect her as best as she could. The news saddened his heart.

Cordy squirmed in her seat "I am so sorry Angel, you didn't know any of this. Joyce was diagnosed with brain cancer, when they went to remove the tumor she died in surgery about two years ago. Buffy called you but I think it was" she thought for a moment.

"Yeah it was Kate that answered the phone she had said that you where in the shower. So Buffy gave me a call and let me know and asked that I not mention anything to you."

Angel shook his head and stood up "How could you not tell me this." He ranted and suddenly it dawned on him "That family issue you had to rush home to Sunnydale, that was the reason wasn't it" he asked all but glaring at her hands on his lean hips.

When she did not answer he shook his head and said, "I have to go I need to think" and with those words, he walked out of Cordy's house into the sunset.

* * *

Buffy walked into her house followed by Willow, she dropped her bag by the stairs and turned to face her friends.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay at our place" Willow asked Buffy.

The blond just shook her head so the Willow shrugged and said.

"We can stay here if you like" But Buffy shook her head once more cutting her off.

"Really Will I am fine" Buffy began walking to the door and holding it open.

"I get the picture," Willow said giving Buffy a hug before she walked out of the door with Spike hot on her heels. He stopped just in front of Buffy and leaned into kiss her check. His eyes spoke volumes; Buffy just smiled and hit his shoulder.

Once the door was closed Buffy just stood there; it was too early to patrol so she decided on a nice hot bath. She made her way up the stairs stopping to drop of her bag. She walked down the hall into the bathroom, she let the water run into the tub the sent of vanilla filled the room. She stood in front of the full-length mirror looking at her reflection as the steam from the running water danced around her caressing her skin.

Buffy stood there trying to find what it was the drove Angel a way; she removed the wrappings from her body all the while gazing at herself. She had a nice body minus the marking on her right side, which were healing nicely.

My eyes are old she thought trying to remember what the old say was _that the eyes are the gateways to the soul_ or something. Sighing out loud she slid into the tub of steaming bubbles her right side began to sting a bit, but it felt heavenly. Just as she got comfortable the phone rang swearing under her breath she reached for the cordless.

"This had better be good" she answered her free hand playing with the bubbles.

"Hey Buffy, where have you been? I have been searching for you all over the place." Xander's happy voice made the Slayer smile.

Buffy sunk back into the tub " Xander you have the worst timing" she chuckled

"How is Anya? Cordy sends her love she and Doyle are coming down for the long weekend" She told her friend closing her eyes willing the tension to leave her body.

"Are they going to bring Piper?" he asked

Buffy shook her head and responded " No they are going to sell her to farmer down the street, of course she will bring her" Buffy smiled hearing Xander laugh. They chatted for a few more minutes and then hung up.

45 minutes later, Buffy dressed in sweat pants and a t-shirt answered her front door and there stood Giles. Buffy smiled and motioned for him to follow her into the kitchen where she was putting the finishing touched on her dinner. She asked that Giles set the table for two.

Once they were seated and eating Buffy asked.

"I guess you spoke to Willow?" he nodded his head before speaking.

"How are you doing" his hand reached out to touch her arm which was resting on the table.

Buffy pulled away a bandage showing her healing cut "Fine they should be gone by the weekend just have to wear a jump suit to work tomorrow."

Giles took of his glasses and began to wipe them "That is not what I meant and you know that" Willow had also mentioned Buffy lack of a break down no tears or screaming nothing.

Buffy shrugged her shoulders " I really don't want to think about it" Giles put his glasses back on.

"Why" was all he said starring at her, his eyes willing her to open up to share her feelings?

Buffy stood up and took her plate to the sink and looked out the window "When I think about it." She stopped her voice hitching.

"I want to die to roll up into a little ball and die, Giles how could he do this to me to us" she could not stop the tears that began to flow "When I remember that day, all I kept thinking while we drove to LA I kept telling myself that he must have had a good reason not to jump to any conclusion, because no matter the distance that separated us." She paused to wipe the tears that fell.

"I always new we were connected, in some strange way he would always be there, but when I found out that he was human for 2 year and did not come to me, or picked up the phone it just kills me and then to see Darla can you believe it. Darla coming out of his apartment" the tears coming hard now.

"The way he rushed to defend her" Giles took Buffy into his arms " Oh God Giles I just feel so dead inside. I don't feel him there anymore, I feel so alone for the first time in 4 years I feel completely alone."

Giles held her until he felt her regain her self control. He watched as she pulled all her emotion in check and shut them away he could almost here the lock turn in her mind.

"If you" he started then stopped just to begin again "You know that I am here for you anytime."

Buffy smiled and said "Thanks dad" giving him a kiss and hug this causing Giles to blush.

Buffy washed the dinner plates as Giles cleared the table, when the doorbell rang she muttered as she walked to the door.

"I must be popular, yep that me popular" she muttered as she pulled the door open. Xander came rushing in grabbing Buffy in his arms.

"I kill him," he shouted squeezing Buffy to his chest as he made soothing sounds deep in his throat.

"I'll kill him" he released her from his body looked around the room.

"He's not here is he" he asked in a whisper his eyes darting around the living room.

Buffy looked confused "Who is not here?" she asked her hands resting on her hips.

"Angel" he whispered. Buffy shook her head just to have Xander pulled her back into his arms.

"I will kill him," he shouted again.

Buffy pulled out of his embrace chuckling "Xander my night and shinning armor" he followed her back to the kitchen talking as he went.

"I'll stake him and then I'll put his ashes in a kitty litter box, no I'll tie him to a tree and let the sun BBQ him, No ... He started but Buffy held up her hand.

"Xander that is enough" Xander moved to take Buffy back into his arms.

"Come to Xander" he said as he held his arms his fingers wiggling calling her to him, Buffy shooed him away.

Giles just looked at him and muttered "Good God man, Angel is human at least imagine killing him like a man."

Xander choked on the drink Buffy had given to him "Hu ...Human, Willow never told me he was ..." he stopped once he realized he just divulged his source of info.

"Ok than" he said rubbing his hands together. "We'll shoot him, no I'll pay to have some one shoot him. No even worst we'll hide all his black clothes and leave only pastels."

Buffy just glared at him he took the hint falling silent. Once they were all seated around the table Buffy asked, "So what brings you 5 houses down, Anya having another hormonal fit or what?" Xander reached into the bag he had dropped on the table.

"Nope do you remember those hand free mics I was telling you about? Well they came in" Buffy looked at him

"I told you not to bother Xander. I wont wear them, I can't have wires sticking out when I am fighting" Xander held up the tiny wireless ear piece.

"OOOOOh" Buffy smiled "a new toy for Buffy" she gasped reaching for it.

Xander went on to explain that she would wear it while on patrol, that way they could talk to one another while they were all scattered.

"That way you now where we are and visa versa" Giles liked the whole idea very much so much he insisted that Buffy try them out that evening.

Buffy sat still as Xander showed her how to place it in her ear correctly. "Now Buffy just talk normally"

She waited for Xander to put his in place. Xander showed Giles how to monitor the recorder once he felt Giles knew what he was doing he and Buffy both left.

Once at the cemetery they split up a few minutes later Buffy could not resist making a static noise as she spoke.

"Caption to co pilot can you read me" she laughed waiting for Xander's reply.

"Buffy I told you it's Night hawk and your Sparrow leader ok lets get the name straight" he sighed.

"Ok nighthawk meet me at the mausoleum." They stayed for a few more minutes and decided to leave.

"All the vamps must be tired" they laughed together, Buffy linked arms with Xander. "Come on Night hawk let Sparrow leader walk you home."

After Buffy dropped Xander off and gave hellos to a very pregnant Anya, Buffy made the short walk home.

She opened her door "Giles I'm home". She made sure her door was locked tight.

Giles answered from the kitchen "In here Sparrow leader."

Buffy laughed "Oh not you too, are you spending the night?" she asked. Giles walked into the living room.

"If you don't mind" Buffy gave him a quick kiss on the check.

"Giles don't be silly I wouldn't have a room set up just for you if I didn't want you to stay" Giles gave Buffy a hug wishing her a good night.

"Giles I bought that pudding you like it's in the fridge" Buffy walked to the bathroom and removed her clothing and brushed her teeth as she was sweeping her hair into a pony tail her eyes focus on the tiny puncture scar. She gave a rueful smile and fingered it slowly how smooth the skin was _I'll always belong to him I still wear his mark_ she thought to herself.

Shutting off the light she climbed into bed she did not have to be at work until noon tomorrow. Grabbing her pillow Buffy let her tears fall muffling her sobs in her pillow. Giles was getting into his pj's and heard Buffy crying. His first instinct was to go to her but he knew she would pull all the pain back into herself. _Cry my child cry until you can't cry any more_ he thought to himself.

Even in her dreams he raped her thoughts Buffy watched herself and Angel kissing and eating her senses were full with him. Buffy could smell Angel all around her, she could taste his warm flesh under her tongue.

Angel sat at her window watching her sleep he breathed in her beauty she was moaning softly in her sleep. He could not make out what she was saying just as he was turning to go he heard her call out his name. Quickly turning fearing she had woken up and seen him, but all he saw was Buffy reaching out in her sleep as tears ran down her face.

He slowly climbed into her window approaching her bed he could clearly hear her know, "_Angel it not enough time oh god please don't leave_" sobs raked through her body "_how could you do this" to me_ before Angel new what he was doing he stripped down to his boxers and climbed into bed with her, very gently he pulled her close. Once there flesh made contact Buffy sighed deep in her throat and snuggled closer.

"I love you," she murmured.

"I love you to" Angel whispered gently. He watched her as she slept she was a lovely girl but know she had grown into a beautiful woman full of life all but her eyes, her eyes were old well beyond her time sighing to himself he thought I'll_ make this right. _

Buffy stretched she could not remember when she had ever slept this good, she snuggled closer to the warmth that surrounded her just as she began to relax she heard a _Thump thump. _

Her eyes few open she found herself gazing into pools of deep chocolate "Good morning sunshine" Angel murmured pulling her leg more firmly over his groin so she could feel his arousal.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she yelled, Angel just smiled stretching his arms as he spoke.

"I told you this was not over" Buffy opened her mouth when nothing came out she closed it. She slowly pulled away from Angel, climbed out of bed walked towards her door and said.

"I want you dressed and gone by the time I come back, I don't want to have to go through this again, you are no longer a part of my life." She stammered.

Angel sat up in bed and said, " That is not what you said last night." Just as Buffy reached for the door it flung open hitting her, sending her into her closet with a loud oooofffff .

Giles rushed into the room "Buffy what is going on here I heard you" Giles stopped dead in his tracks seeing Angel in Buffy's bed.

"What the hell are you doing here haven't you done enough" Giles said in a deadly voice. Buffy pulled herself to her feet.

"Giles it's ok he was just leaving" Buffy had to grip his arm to hold him still. Angel stood up and placed his hands on his hips and said.

"No I'm not Buffy we have to talk". Giles tried to shake out of Buffy's hold.

Angel looked at Giles and walked towards him standing toe to toe he said, "Giles I know you want what is best for Buffy. But this really is not any of your business."

Buffy pushed herself between the two and said "Giles It's ok I can handle it, please go make some coffee I will be right down" Giles reluctantly turned toward the door but stopped and said.

" I should have killed you when I had the chance" Angel crossed his arms over his chest and responded.

"Good to see you too Ripper". If looks could kill Angel would have been dust but Giles left the room. Buffy was standing by the window, "I want you gone, why can't you get through your head."

Angel started to look for his pants " Because you still love me as much I love you" he picked up his pants and began to put them on "don't bother denying it."

Buffy turned to face Angel and said, "Ok so I love you, so what, what does that mean? Will that make it all better Angel" Buffy reached into her closed pulling out some cloths. Angel reached for her and she held up her arms "No I don't want you to touch me" Angel dropped his arms to his sides.

"Buffy can you at least give me a chance to explain my reasons for what I did." Buffy her back turned to him as she pulled on her shorts. It was easier not to look at him.

"I don't want to hear anything Angel you have been making choices for me for as long as I can remember, know you have to live with the consequences. I don't trust you any more; everything that comes out of your mouth is a lie. You have always been the only person to be able to hurt me in here" she said pointing to her chest as the tears formed in her eyes. "But no more, when I look into your eyes I see a man I don't know my Angel is gone and I don't want or need you anymore" she lied reaching for her runners.

Angel stood rooted to his spot refusing to believe the lies that were poring from her mouth. "Buffy I know what I did was wrong and that I betrayed you. But we can work this out love like ours does not just go away when things get difficult"

Buffy walked toward the door and opened it and said "why not? You did, you walked away when things got to hard, you can show your self out" with that she walked out of the room.

Buffy walked into the kitchen Giles looked ready to kill someone. "Are you alright", he asked Buffy nodded.

"I have to go Giles I'll be back later" He watched Buffy walk out the front door. His heart aching for his slayer, anger washed through him.

"Angel" he yelled as he climb the stairs to her room, two at a time throwing open the door, and what he saw stopped him. He felt his anger slipping a way, he looked at Angel who was sitting on Buffy's bed clutching her nightgown a look of physical pain clouded his handsome face.

Giles sighed and walked toward him "Would you like some coffee?" he asked.

Angel looked at him surprised to see him standing next to him. Angel wiped his face and said, "That would be nice".

Buffy ran with no particular destination in mind letting her mind wander, she found herself at the cemetery, how ironic she thought the one place I am drawn to is a cemetery. She walked along the head stones until she found what she was looking for and sat down.

"Mom its times like this I wish you were still here" she said as tears fell letting them cleanse her wounded spirit. Buffy was not sure how long she had been sitting when she heard someone approach turning to see who it was.

"Hi ya Spike, what are you doing up so early?" he sat down next to her and said.

"Had a feeling you might need a shoulder?" he said as he pulled out a smoke.

Buffy just starred at him he lit his smoke catching her look he admitted " Ok.. Ok I called your place and Giles told me what happened and I put to and to together and knew you would end up here."

"Am I that predictable" she asked lying back into the grass, Spiked took a deep drag off his smoke and said.

"To me you are. Buffy you should give the poof a chance to explain why he did what he did". Buffy closed her eyes and sighed out loud.

"Spike where is Willow" Spike flicked his but and said.

"Buffy do not changed the subject, you have every right to be hurt and angry but do not throw your happiness way. Because this time you will have no one to blame but yourself."

Buffy sat up and looked at Spike "You really mean that don't you?"

Spike stood up and reached out his hand to help her to her feet, "Buffy you, the niblet and Willow are my family, you have all taught me how to love and be loved. Is it so wrong to want happiness for those people who are closest to me?"

Buffy reached out and hugged her friend "I love you too" together arms linked they walked towards Buffy's house. Buffy began to laugh.

"What's so funny Slayer" Once she caught her breath she said.

"I just said I love you who would of thought that I Buffy Ann Summers Slayer extrodinary would every say those word to my mortal enemy" Spike gave a rueful smile.

"We have the niblet to thank for that don't we" Buffy nodded her head. "When is she home?" he asked.

Buffy answered "This weekend I am going to get her on Thursday, why do you want to come?"

Spike's reply was "Were you hit on the head recently cuz luv, that is one hell of a stupid question."

Together they rounded the corner and walked the rest of the way in silence as only true friends could.

Giles leaned back into his chair while he cleaned his glasses "Angel I still do not understand what it is you want me to do."

Angel's eyes never left his mug "Giles I want you to stay out of it, do not influence Buffy."

Giles cut in "No one influence Buffy if you took the time to get the woman she has grown into you would know that, you can not expect to just walk back into her life and be accepted. Buffy has changed; these last few years have been very difficult for her. It was a great shock for her to remember what happened between the two of you."

Giles reached for his cup of tea and continued "She still loves you, but the trust is gone, I know how it feels to see the hurt in her eyes and know that you are of that cause of if" Giles shook his head almost as if not the let the memories set in.

Angel sat up straight and said "She is close I can feel her" Giles stood up and said.

"If you break her heart again Angel this time I will make sure that you do not see the light of day". With those words he went to meet Buffy at the front door. Buffy walked into her office to make some calls, Spike turned to Giles "Is the poof still here?"

Angel walked into the room and glared at him, jealousy ran like hot lava through his veins at seeing Spike with his Slayer. The pain only grew when he saw Giles reach out to take Spikes arm in conversation. _That should be me_ he thought, suddenly he felt the urge to run, and he stood up and walked to the door.

"Giles tell Buffy I will be back around 7 to speak to her" and he walked out. Angel began to walk the streets of Sunnydale letting memory lead the way he found himself at the high school that was in the process of being rebuilt he smiled ruefully after all this time they want to rebuild.

His mind drifted back to Buffy and their situation, Angel walked to the closest coffee shop and made himself comfortable with an espresso.

"There you are I have been looking all over Sunnydale for you" Darla yelled from across the room. Angel cringed at the tone of her voice.

"Darla what the hell are you doing here?" Angel demanded once she sat down.

Darla took a moment to fluff her flat hair "Looking for you" she paused to order a coffee "You left without saying anything" Angel sat up straight and said

"My coming and goings are not your concern". Darla thanked the waiter for her coffee; once he was out of earshot she sat back in her seat and said.

"Trying to win back your slayer". Angel felt his anger rise Darla reached for her mug. " Dear relax your eyes are beginning to turn gold" Angel swore under his breath. When the powers made him human they let him keep his vampire strength and speed a side effect being whenever Angel was distressed, or angered his eyes would change colors.

"Darla I want you gone get on your broom or in your car and get the hell away" He said reaching for his wallet.

Darla pouted "Why" she whined Angel sighed feeling very tired.

"Because you will ruin everything, I need time to work things out with Buffy and you will only make things worse. Darla go find Lindsey and be happy," he said feeling almost sorry for this woman.

"He hates me Angel he left me I…" her throat clogged with tears so she was unable to finish Angel stood up and said.

"He doesn't hate you; you had a fight that is all. You both needed some time, go to him and work it out". Angel was half way to the front door when she yelled out.

"Does she know that we had sex?" Angel stopped dead in his tracks he felt all eyes on him. He turned around and walked back to the table calmly and gently took her arm and walked out of the coffee shop Angel had to lower his head for his eyed were a blaze.

Once outside he had to resist the urge to slam her against the wall instead he released her arm and grabbed a hand full of her hair and pulled her into the ally behind the coffee shop. "Angel you're hurting me," she cried.

Angel release his hold "Darla I am warning you, so help me God if you come with in a inch of Buffy. I will kill you with my bare hands". Darla just starred her face reflecting the terror she felt.

"I will tell Buffy everything when the time comes, I want you gone, out of Sunnydale".

Darla took a step back and clutched her purse to her chest and said "Don't you threaten me" she began and Angel clasped her throat his eyes a glow once again.

"That was not a threat Darla but a fact, find Lindsey and get the hell out of my life for good" Darla stood rooted to her spot.

"You promised that you would take care of me always was that just a lie" she screamed Angel let go of her neck and began.

" Darla once you became human you were lost in so many ways. I new how that felt, I did what I had to do nothing more" Darla glared at him.

"So making love to me was something you had to do" she asked rubbing her neck. Angel laughed out loud and spat out as if a bad taste suddenly filled his mouth.

"No Darla that was a mistake one I will regret for the rest of my life, it should never of happened, and secondly that was not making love that was sex. Plain old dirty sex."

The sound of the Darla's hand made when it connected with Angels cheek ricochet down the ally. Angel laughed harder "Come on Darla go back to Lindsey and live happily ever after. In my life entirely human and Vampire. I have only made love to one person Buffy, nothing you ever do will change that" And will those words he walked away hoping to never lay eyes on her again.

Angel made it to the Mansion in record time; as he walked towards the door he noticed a note taped to the knocker _"Cash presents are the best way to show how thankful you truly are…Cordy"_.

Angel opened the door and walked in, it was spotless "Thank you Cordy" he sighed he walked into the kitchen and pulled open the fridge glad to see it fully stocked he glanced at the clock on the wall just enough time to shower and eat something.

Buffy sat with Giles making a list of things they need to pick up before going to get Dawn on Thursday. She had just gotten home from work; her body was tired and achy. Buffy felt Giles stare, and said.

"Why are you starring at me for?" Giles laughed shaking his head.

"Sorry sometime when you tilt your head a certain way you remind me of that little girl I met so many years ago" Buffy smiled not looking at him.

"Giles did you steal that from a card" they both laughed and went back to their lists.

"So how much time do you have off work exactly?" he asked. Buffy stopped writing and said reaching into her bag to pull out her leave of absence/vacation time paper work.

"Almost 2 months I will be on call still. And if I need to cover a class I will, I just want to spend time with Dawn and.." her voice drifted off.

"And Angel" Giles finished for her. Buffy put down her pen and told Giles about what happened with Spike this morning. Giles reached for her hand and said.

"He is right you know, Give Angel a chance to explain his actions, you owe Angel nothing but you owe your self that much"

"Giles I don't know what to do" Just to have Giles interrupted "Do you love him?" he asked.

Buffy answered without thinking "Yes I never stopped" Giles sat back down and responded.

"Then what is the problem" Buffy eyes filled with tears "I don't trust him, when every I see him I feel such rage and the longer he is near the harder it is to control" Buffy leaned her head against the table "I know I sound crazy, but it's almost like I want to hurt him as much as he's hurt me, when I remember all that was lost" Buffy stopped because the tears began "Giles if I let him in this time and if he leaves it will kill me."

Giles reached to take her hand "Buffy stop holding every thing in let it out scream, yell cry but let the emotion flow."

Buffy just looked at him and tried to smile she stood up saying "I have to go get ready for patrol" and left the room.

Giles walked into his and Buffy's office and began to set up the equipment he pulled out another mic Spike would be going with Buffy. Spiked walked in a few moment later.

"Slayer do not keep we waiting all night," he yelled as he walked into meet Giles. "So how is she" he asked the watcher.

Giles sat down and began to fill Spike in on what was discussed. "She is not dealing with her feels she is keeping them all lock up, Spike I am worried this is not healthy for her" Spike thought back to when Joyce passed on Buffy was a rock for everyone only in the privacy of her room did she allow her grief to flow. She had learned to lock everything away and keep her feeling tightly under wraps.

"Know who is the one waiting," she asked punching Spike lightly in the shoulder. "I need some help with my bandage" Giles lifted up her shirt and gasped when he saw many of the cut where still bleeding.

"Buffy why didn't you tell me you were still bleeding," Buffy rolled her eyes groaning. "Giles it's not that bad. I'm a little sore but other than that I am fine".

Spike stepped into take a look "She is fine Giles, some of those cuts are really deep and with her moving around does not make it any better" he said handing Giles the tape to secure the bandage around Buffy's mid half.

Once Giles was done Buffy tested her side and winced "Giles your not suppose to cut off the circulation" she said as she reached for her weapons.

Spike watched Buffy place the mic in her ear "Did you not get your new toy Spike" She asked walking out the front door. "Giles can you hear me" Spike watched Giles answer, Buffy came back in and watched Giles show Spike how to put the mic in his ear. Once everything was tested they were on their way.

Buffy and Spike walked to the first cemetery, "So how are we going to do this" Buffy thought for a moment and said.

"Well Cordy and Doyle can stay in the spare room down the hall and Piper can shake up with Dawn for the weekend, if she doesn't want to she can stay with you and Willow."

Spike just shook his head and said "Are you sure you are not a natural blonde?"

Buffy just blinked confusion clearly etched her face. "How are we going to patrol Slayer" Spike said very slowly.

Buffy put her hands on her hips and said "They way we always do, you go this way and I will go that way and meet up on the other side." Spike started towards the west side not thinking of anything in particular when he heard Buffy say.

"So are ya bored yet?" Spike turned forgetting about the mic in his ear.

"Where are …" he started when he remembered the gadget in his ear "Nope not yet, things have been quite around here for a while."

Buffy interrupted Spike "I have got company 4 vamps" she said.

"Where are you" he asked Buffy told him of her location, Spike began the track over. "Giles are you hearing this," he asked. Giles voice came threw loud and clear.

"Yes Spike are you on your way over". At that moment they heard the fight begin he heard small grunts he knew belonged to Buffy.

"Slayer how are you holding up" he than heard a loud popping sound "Slayer " he called again breaking into a run.

"Spike you had better get a move on I have more company". Giles sat at his desk watching the monitor.

"Buffy how many? Spike is on the way" Buffy sent a vamp flying into a tree as two more moved in for the kill, grabbing one while she kicked out at the other, she was hit from behind and sent to the ground with a loud oooff Buffy felt her side ache, she sent her legs flying upwards catching a vamp right in the throat as she brought the stake down, "Love you bye bye" she muttered to herself.

Buffy turned to asses the situation noting that they were about 8 vamps slowing circling her "Giles where is Spike I am in trouble here" At that moment they both heard Spike.

"Buffy I am having some trouble of my own"

Giles asked again "How many" he was reaching for his coat.

Buffy said "I have about 8-10 vamps on my ass"

Spike voice rang out loud and clear "I have about the same." The sound of fighting filled the air.

Buffy cut in again as she slowly backed away " Spike where are you?" Spike gave his location and Buffy turned and fled towards Spike.

"I am coming your way Spike get ready" Buffy heard the vamps take up pursuit in a matter of moments she saw Spike in the clearing, he went down as two vamps jumped on him. She leaped into the air a well timed scissor kick sent 2 vamps sailing through the air. This gave her enough time to bring down her stake. They disappeared in a cloud of ash. Soon they were quickly surrounded.

"Giles we have a big problem" Spike said out loud. Angel walked into the house calling out for Buffy.

Giles called out to him "What is your location" he asked Spiked passed on the information.

"What is going on here?" Angel asked just then the sound of battle came threw the transmitter. Spike and Buffy calling out warnings to each other. Both Spike and Buffy stood back to back and were a fury of kicks, and punches the ache in Buffy side grew, and she glanced done at her side to see her shirt covered in blood. It suddenly dawned on her _my blood is what is sending them into a feeding frenzy_. She brought her head up just in enough time to be knocked off her feet, "Spike" she called out.

He turned in just enough time to see his friend go down, he saw the blood that covered her shirt and he understood what was going on the smell of her blood made his mind reel he felt his fangs elongate.

"Giles we need help Buffy's blood is what is causing this. Buffy is down I repeat get your bloody ass over here" Spike yelled as he made his way over to his friend.

Giles turned to Angel, but he was gone he drove like a mad man Buffy Blood was all he need to hear. He made it to the cemetery in record time. He closed his eyes and let his sense locate her. As he approached he heard the sounds of fighting he broke threw the trees and ran full speed at Buffy he scooped her up into his arms and yelled for Spike.

They made a mad dash for the car he tossed Buffy into the back seat and gunned the engine towards her house.

Giles met them at the door Spike still is game face walked directly in to the kitchen almost hiding himself from there gazes; the smell of Buffy's blood made the urge to feed unbearable.

Buffy followed looking quite pale and clutching her side, "Hi Giles it is worse then it looks" she started Giles ushered her into the kitchen Angel followed. Once seated Giles helped pull off her shirt to assess the damage.

All Angel could do is stare at Buffy, her creamy breast hidden behind a wisp of lacy. "Spike can you hand me the first aid kit under the sink" When Giles got no response he turn to the vampire. Spike still had his back to the group. "Spike" Giles asked again.

"I can't" he whispered, Buffy stood up and approached her friend.

"Spike are you hurt," she asked taking his arm. Spike shook loose.

"Buffy stay away from me". Buffy stopped and she understood reaching for her friend once more.

"Spike look at me" Buffy completely forgetting she had nothing on but her bra, looking at Giles she motioned for him to call Willow.

"Spike" she said again and placed a hand on his shoulder gently turning him around. Angel took in his game face and took a step forward. Buffy just glared at him causing his to stop dead in his tracks.

"What is the problem here Spike" He met her gaze she could see the shame reflected in his. "It's ok it is a normal reaction Spike, I trust you I know you would never hurt me" Buffy saw some of the tense leave his shoulders she walked back over to the table and sat down, "You just wanted to see me in my bra" she sighed dramatically to ease the tension that filled the kitchen.

Spike blinked his eyes taking in her appearance for the first time. "Nah be there done that love the seduction has gone out of our relationship," he said as we walked out of the kitchen. Buffy just laughed.

Angel stood rooted to his spot "I guess I should thank you for your help" She said not looking at him reaching for her shirt to cover her chest. Angel took a step forward and knelt in front of her.

"May I" he asked pointing to her shirt.

"Giles will do it," she said clutching her shirt to her chest. Her knuckles where white holding her shirt in a death grip.

"Giles is on phone and Spike is out to the question that leaves me," he said pulling her shirt way. Buffy felt a wave of heat hit her; she felt her nipples tightening under his heated gaze. She had to close her eyes. She felt his fingers probing her cuts.

An electric bolt of heat shot threw Buffy as Angel touched her bare flesh "You are going to need stitches" He said, she could feel his cool breath on her feverish skin. Angel knew the effect he was having on Buffy he could see the play of emotion on her face as she tried to get in control of herself.

Suddenly she stood up and called out for Giles nearly knocking Angel off his feet.

Giles rushed into the kitchen "What is it" he took in the site in front of him Buffy's flush skin her heavy breathing. And the fear in her eyes.

Angel explained to Giles that she needs stitches; he knew that Buffy would not go to the hospital so he pulled out the kit and prepared to staple her cuts.

"Do you want anything for the pain?" he asked before he started she shook her head, anything to take her mind off of Angel. Pain was an emotion that she could deal with. Spike walked into the kitchen and poured a glass of water Angel watched as he empty 4 capsules into the water.

"Here Slayer drink this before Giles kills ya" Buffy clutched the glass and without a second thought downed the contents. Angel could not believe the depth of trust that ran between the two.

He followed Spike out into the living room and asked, "What did you give her?" Spike pulled out a smoke and said. "Relax peaches their just Tylenol with codeine it will help her sleep".

Angel sat next to Spike, "So when did this happen" he said gesturing in a round about way.

Spike took a deep drag off his cigarette "Do you want the long version or the short version".

Angel leaned back and closed his eyes "Any will do" Spike went on to tell Angel all about Dawn and Glory the chip in his head. How their love for Dawn brought him and the slayer together. First they became sparring partners and then friends, he began to see Willow, Buffy had encouraged & defended the relationship and soon they all became a family.

Spike had no idea he had been talking for almost 2 hours. Angel stood up and said, "I need a drink."

Spike followed him into the kitchen to find Giles all alone "Where is Buffy" he asked. Giles answered with out taking his eyes from the page he was reading.

"Upstairs with Willow" Spike and Angel made their way to the upper floor.

Spike found himself taking hold of Angels arm. "Are you here to stay" Angel looked at his old friend and said softly.

"If she will have me". Spike released him and leaned up against the wall.

"Please don't hurt her she deserves to be happy, last time you left I think something got broken inside, she has never been the same. And then Dawn and Joyce" Spike took a deep un need breath meeting Angels eye's "Just make her happy".

Spike decided to turn around and go back down stairs for that drink he asking Angel to please tell Willow he is ready to go.

Angel walked slowly to Buffy room but stopped when he heard them talking. He heard Willow say, "So when are you going to talk to him, you can keep ignoring him."

Buffy sighed, "Will what should I do?" Angel watched as Willow embraced her friend and said.

"What does your heart tell you to do"? Buffy laid her head on Willows lap.

"My heart tells me to grab him and never let go to be happy for the moment and not think about tomorrow to let him love me the way I want to love him", Willow noticed Angel standing out side the door.

"But" she interjected stroking Buffy's honey blond head.

"My head is screaming to run and protect my heart what's left of it, Willow I am so afraid that if I let him back in he will wait until everything is perfect and just walk away again. I could not handle that, every thing always ends with Angel walking away from me and this Freak show."

Angel flinched at those words. He knew they would come back to haunt him eventually. Willow smiled at Angel and said to Buffy.

"Give love a chance Buffy get to know Angel again you to have been apart for a while, learn about Angel the man and I am pretty sure he want to get to know Buffy the woman" Buffy went to speak but Willow continued "Have I every lead you a stray" she asked. Buffy shook her head "Please take my advice, let me return the favor Spike and I owe you are happiness" Buffy hugged her friend.

"No you don't I just pushed you both in the right direction and let nature take its course."

Willow stood up and said "Get ready for bed and well have lunch tomorrow" They hugged again and Willow walked out the door closing it. Willow motioned for Angel to follow her into Dawns room.

"I assume you heard all that" Angel knobbed his head

"Willow I don't' know how to Thank you" Willow shook her head.

"Don't make me regret this Angel. If you hurt again I will turn you into a frog" Angel just knobbed.

"You heard what she said, tell her the truth be honest and if you find out at the end of your journey that you don't like the woman she has become make the cut clean and go away and never come back".

Angel reached out to Willow with tears in his eyes and hugged her "Thank you" was all he could manage. Willow wiped his face; and smiled saying.

"Your welcome give her a few moment and go and say good night" and with that she walked out of the room to Spike and left.

Angel took a moment to wash his face, he look at his refection and said "This will work" he wiped his hand and closed the light and door and made his way to Buffy's room.

Knocking gently "Come In" he heard come from the other side of the door "Giles " she started "oh it you" she said pulling the bed covers up to her chin.

Angel took in the sight of her; she looked like a little girl hiding from the big bad wolf.

"How are you feeling?" He asked walking towards the bed. Buffy sighed and leaned back into her pillows "Why are you making this so hard" She asked, Angel sat down next to her.

"Buffy I am not going to go away, I think we owe each other the chance to get to know the people that we have become" Buffy found it hard to meet his gaze "I." she started but Angel continued "I am not asking anything of you but your time, I am not going to hurt you Buffy, what are you so afraid of? You have nothing to lose" Buffy closed her eyes and whispered. Causing Angel to lean in to hear her.

"I have every thing to lose, Angel you have no idea what I went through after you left, I was empty for a long time and I learned to live with that, I tried the whole relationship thing and it did not work, so I learned how to make due with out it, then Dawn came and mom passed on and life continued. Just when everything gets back to normal you walk back into my life" Angel thought she had fallen a sleep but after a while she continued. Thoughts of Spike, Giles and Willow telling her to give him a chance rang in her head.

"Lets take it slow Angel, I am not making any promises here" Angel stood up and said.

"That is all I ask" he leaned over to kiss her fore head when his lips met her flesh he felt her flinch.

"Good night" he said as he walked out of the room. Angel made his way downstairs to where Giles was having a cup of tea.

"Giles if I ask you a question about Buffy will you answer me honestly?". Giles took off his glasses to clean them while he gave Angel's question some thought.

"Depends," he finally said "Why? what would you like to know". Angel sat down.

"Was Buffy ever attacked," he asked rubbing his face.

This caused Giles to laughed out loud. "On a nightly basis" Angel shook his head.

"Then why does she flinch or turn to stone when ever some kind of emotion is shown, should I be taking this personally?"

Giles relaxed in his chair "Angel" he started "We noticed a change in Buffy right after you left." Spikes words echoed in his mind _"Something broken inside_".

"But with time it seem she was better, and then the issue with Faith stealing Buffy's body and sleeping with Riley".

"What why didn't she tell me" Angel asked he could feel the tension knotting in his shoulders when he thought about the argument he had with Buffy regarding Faith.

Giles took a moment before he continued. "What hurt Buffy more is no one notice the change at first, besides Spike and myself; I think that is another reason why she and Spike have become so close. Tara a friend of Willows tipped her off. That really hurt her than there was the situation with you and your little show down."

Angel by this time had his head in his hands "You see Angel, Buffy never dealt with any of those emotions she just kind of locked them away. Then Dawn came into our lives and Joyce got sick." Giles got up from the table and refilled his cup, he held up the coffee pot to Angel who smiled and gave a nod.

"I assume Spike filled you in about Dawn" Angel accepted the mug and added some sugar and cream.

"Yes he did it is so hard to believe" he said sipping the hot liquid.

"Angel you know that is was Buffy who found Joyce" Giles said his face filling with sadness.

"I thought she died on the operating table," Angel said putting down his mug.

Giles sat back down "No that is what we decided to tell everyone out side of the group". Angel tried not to show how much it hurt to hear Giles refer to him as an outsider.

"Buffy came home and found Joyce dead on the sofa. She tried to reviver her but all she managed to do was break her ribs" Angel felt ill _my poor Buffy_ he thought.

"Do you understand why I am telling you this Angel, I never saw her cry once before during or after the funeral. That is when Buffy started having night terrors crying in her sleep. She was so strong for everyone and by the time we notice the damage was already done" Giles stood up and brought his cup to the sink.

"Yesterday was the first time in almost 4 years that I saw Buffy cry" he said as he rinsed out his cup "Angel you know why Buffy is afraid, it is because you make her feel, she is afraid to lose control over herself. It is not just one emotion we are dealing with when it comes to you, it is love, trust, passion and desire but most of all anger. I hope when the time comes you are prepared to deal with all of that". With those words he walked out to kitchen.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N I am still looking for a beta reading, if you can all bear with me! Volunteer's welcome!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Chapter 4

Angel was not aware of how long he sat there trying to absorb all that was said to him. He was surprised to see it was almost 1:30 in the morning he stood up and went in search of Giles. He found the watcher sitting out side of Buffy's door as he approached he could here the muffled sobs filtering threw the door Angel felt like crying himself.

"Is she alright?" he whispered. Giles looked tired he closed his eyes for a moment before responding.

"She is asleep" Angel reached for the door resting his hand on the watchers shoulder.

"Go to bed Giles I will handle this" with those words he walked into the room.

He stood for a moment in the darkness waiting for his eyes to adjust; he walked towards the bed and looked down at Buffy. She was covered in sweat her hair was plastered to her head.

"No please" she would moan as the tears ran freely down her checks. Her body would twitch and jerk.

He reached out to touch her leaning in to her body. Angel was not prepared for her hand to shoot out and knock him clean off his feet.

"Wonderful" he muttered as he climbed to his feet, he went in search for a cool cloth to wipe her face. Once back in the room he stripped down to his boxers once again and carefully climbed in next to her.

He laid there for a moment, just watching her. He gently turned on his side and reached out with the cloth and began to wipe her face and arms. Buffy jerked at the coldness but is seemed to calm her.

"Mmmmm Angel" she said turning towards him. Angel smiled thinking _"she associates me with the cold"_ they snuggled together. Angel thought over everything he heard tonight. He sighed finally let sleep over take him.

Giles was not sure when the crying stopped but he found himself creeping down the hall and peeking into Buffy's room, he closed the door smiling.

Buffy's hand slammed down on her alarm clock trying to stop the annoying ringing.

"It's the phone," Angel said, Buffy just grunted and reached for the receiver.

"Yello.. No Cordy Angel is not here, what time is it" Buffy groaned.

Angel sat up in the bed "Buffy" he began gently.

Buffy barely awake became annoyed and said "Can you be quite I can't hear what she is saying. What Cordy no I was just taking to Angel" Buffy's eyes flew open.

"What are you doing here?" she yelled throwing the phone at him he caught it easily and watched her march out of the room. Giles caught her in the hallway Buffy turn to watcher.

"Did you let him stay the night? Did you let him sleep in my bed?" she yelled anger flowing off of her in waves. Before he could answer she went on

"If your so keen on Angel sleeping here let him sleep with you" with those words she marched down the steps and towards the door.

Giles found his voice "Buffy where are you going your not dresses" Buffy nearly pulled the door off its hinges.

"None of your God damn business" she stormed out of the house.

Buffy made a mad dash for Xander's house glad that no one seemed to be on the street. Anya opened the door; she simply starred at the Slayer her eyes roaming over her lack of clothes.

"Buffy why are you in your pjs?" she asked motioning for her to enter. Buffy apologized not wanting to go into detail why she was half naked and on her doorstep.

Buffy asked if Xander was up? Anya replied he was in the shower. They made their way to the kitchen for coffee. Xander walked into the kitchen half an hour later. He smiled seeing Buffy. He leaned down and gave her a kiss.

"How have you been?" Buffy laughed at his questions. Her eyes followed him as he moved around his kitchen he stopped to kiss Anya's belly whenever he passed.

"As if Willow hasn't old you," she muttered causing Xander to blush and cleared his throat.

"What can I do you for?" he asked sitting down to drink his coffee. Buffy asked if he could drive her to Willows place. He gave her a once over and said

"In your undies and a t-shirt, you look very nice by the way" he added causing both women in the kitchen to slap him.

"Ok than" he said turning to Anya. "So everything you need is on the list right?" he asked slipping the paper into his pocket.

Buffy stopped at the door and said "Anya if Giles or Angel calls or if they come here please tell them you haven't seen me ok"

Anya smiled and said "Sure I do not mind lying for you"

The drive over to Willows was silent and mildly tense, Buffy finally spoke.

"So is Angel the reason why you haven't been by lately?" she asked watching Xander shrugged his shoulders.

"Buffy there is no love loss between Angel and I. I really didn't like him when he was a vampire and I don't think I'll like him anymore as a human".

They drove the rest of the way in silence. Angel met Giles down in the kitchen.

"Sorry about that I didn't think she would react that way" Giles was putting his dishes way.

"Not to worry she will deal with it" Giles prepared to leave for work.

"Do you at least know where she went"? Angel asked sitting down at the table watching the older man pack up his things. Giles stopped and chuckled

"Not far in her t shirt and undies" he picked up his bag and walked out the door laughing softly to him self.

* * *

Angel made his way back to the mansion, after a shower and two cups of coffee he was ready to face the world. He began to think about all that he had learned about Buffy over the past 2 days. He found himself picking up the phone and asking the operation for Willows number.

Spike picked up the phone on its third ring "No Buffy is not here."

Angel laughed, "How did you know it was me?" he asked

Spike waved his hand to shush the girls and Xander "Only you would call this early in the morning. And your ring sounded really needy"

Angel laughed again "She is there isn't she?" he asked all traces of laughter gone.

"Yep that's right, sure come on over and pick it up" Spike said smiling at Buffy.

"Are you sure that is wise" he asked hearing response.

Spike laughed into the phone "Ok see you in 20 minutes or so"

Buffy stood rooted to her spot, glaring at him "How could you do that?" she asked already looking for a way to escape.

"Slayer if I told him not to come he would have guessed that I was lying about you not being here" he lied with a smile.

Buffy turned to Willow and asked for some clothes. Off she went with Willow into the bedroom.

Spike turned to Xander "Love the new toys for patrol tried them out last night they saved our Asses major big time" he said reaching for his smokes. Xander looked ready to murder someone

"Spike I know something and I have to tell someone or I am going to explode" Spike sat up at the urgency in his friends voice.

"What is wrong mate?" he asked. Xander stood up and motioned for Spike to follow.

They went into the back yard "I don't want Buffy or Willow to know" he glanced around before he continued.

"I saw Angel last night at the Espresso Pump".

Spike shrugged his shoulders and offered, "So he likes coffee."

Xander began to pace "No I saw him with Darla, I thought he killed her?" he asked as he continued to move around the backyard.

Spike shook his head and offered a small smile "If that is your BIG secret both Willow and Buffy saw Darla apparently she is human as well". Spike turned to go back inside when Xander stopped him

"No that is not it" Xander said with a squeeze to his arm.

Spike stopped "Then what is the problem"

Xander released his arm and spoke. "They seemed to be arguing, Angel got up to leave when Darla shouted does your Buffy know that we had sex."

Spike suddenly felt ill but he asked. "Are you sure?"

Xander just knobbed his head and went on with what he had seen "He walked back to the table and took her outside. I followed and heard then arguing and he confirmed that it was true. I left after that so I don't know what else was said."

Spike stood their dumb founded "Holy Shit" was all he could get out.

Finally he came to his senses and said "Xander take Buffy and Willow with you shopping then drop them back at Buffy's, I will be by later to go with Buffy to pick up Dawn."

Xander began to walk toward the house "What about Angel?" he asked over his shoulder.

Spike tossed his cigarette over the fence "Just leave that with me". Half and hour later there was a knock at the door.

"Hi Spike is she still here", Spike just looked at Angel, he had to fight the urge to kick him.

"Where you ever going to tell her" he demanded Angel looked confused.

"Tell her what," he asked as he walked into the main room.

Spiked slammed the door "That you got horizontal with Darla."

Angel went still at that comment "Does Buffy know?" he finally asked.

Spike walked away from him "Not yet! Give me one good reason not to tell her"

Angel sank down into the sofa and asked, "Who told you?"

"Xander was at the Espresso Pump when she made her little announcement, so I take it's all true." Spike responded reaching for his lighter.

Angel took a deep breath, "It was just before I became human; Wolfman & Hart brought Darla back from the dead to torment me, they were trying to get me to give up my humanity. Well at first Darla came to me in my dreams, little by little she took over, soon she was all I thought about. After weeks of torment I finally gave in to the need, I lost myself in Darla. This went on for about three months she would come to me in my dreams or so I thought" he stood up and walked to the window.

"Then Lindsey her now fiancée walked in on us Doyle was there too. And I realized I was not dreaming that this was real, I went crazy I nearly killed her when I realized Darla was Human, so I let her go. About 6 months later I became Human; I ran into Darla about a 3 months ago she had a fight with Lindsey. She had no place to go so I let her stay with me, she has been with me ever since. And no we have not had sex recently."

Spike tried to absorb what was discussed; finally he said, " You didn't lose your soul. Are you going to tell Buffy?"

Angel sat back down "I have to. I want her to hear it from me not from anyone else and to answer your first questions. I didn't love Darla it was just sex."

Spike looked at his grand sire and said, "This will kill her, any other woman it may not sting as much but Darla that will cut deep".

Angel was silent, Spike watched in amazement as Angels began to change color. "Peaches don't mean to scare you but your eyes are turning gold"

Angel tried to control his frustration; he went onto explain the gifts PTB gave him when he became human. Once Angel was done did Spike say.

"Does Giles now any of this"

Angel shook his head looking very tired. "No I meant to mention it the other night but I forgot."

Spike stood up "I have to get a move on I have a training session with Buffy at 2pm"

Angel stood with him and said "Mind if I join you"

Spike reached for his jacket and said, "When are you going to tell her?"

Angel reached for his jacket as well and said, "When she is more comfortable around me"

Spike said nothing as he held the door open for Angel, the ride over to Buffy's was made in silence, Spike used his key to let himself in.

* * *

Buffy, Willow and Anya were all in the kitchen making arrangement for dinner. Buffy just glared at Angel when he walked into her house.

"Don't you have a job back in LA?" she asked, he looked her directly in the eye and said

"You told me I would always be welcome here, has that changed?" Buffy was the first to break the dead stare and say.

"Are you ready Spike" he followed down to the basement.

Willow turned to Angel "What was that all about?"

Angel took the glass of juice she offered "Last night Buffy and I agreed to spend some time together well after we spoke I came down here and asked Giles a few things. He explained what happened with Faith and Dawn, Joyce. And about the night terrors. He told me that Buffy is keeping me at arms length because I cause her to feel more than she is ready to. I just want her to stop being so angry with me"

Willow understood where Giles was going and why he told Angel "Why were you in her bed with this morning?" she asked pulling out a chair for him to sit.

Angel sat down and drank his juice "I went looking for Giles and found him sitting outside of Buffy door she was having a rough night, I went into check on her and she was all sweaty so I got a cool cloth and wiped her down, she called out for me so I got into bed with her she stopped crying once our bodies touched and sleep threw the night with no more problems. Willow I love her."

Willow placed a hand on his arm and said "Oh Angel what are you going to do?" she felt for her friends. Buffy's anger had been held in for so long she was a bit afraid for her friend.

He stood up and squeezed her arm "I am going to keep on pushing her, until she starts to push back. Once the anger is gone and dealt with the healing can begin" with those words he walked to the door that lead down to the basement.

Angel was in awe over the changes, the room was massive, marble floor replace the concert. It was split into 4 parts; one area for training workouts, one for weapons, research and a lounge area with a mini fridge etc.

He watched Spike and Buffy sparring, she moves with both speed and grace. Spike kicked his leg out connecting with her stomach; her responded was a fist to the face while her leg swept his feet out from beneath him. Spike went down taking Buffy with him they rolled together. Buffy using the strength in her upper body, she lifted her weight from his body using a handstand method. Spike was on his feet in an instant charging, Buffy was ready and waiting once he got close enough she threw herself into a back flip letting the balls of her feet connect with his face sending him crashing to the floor.

Buffy was in her fighting stance once more waiting of Spikes next attack. Suddenly a buzzer went off. Buffy and Spike looked at him their concentration lost.

Angel reached for his cell phone to answer it "Sorry " he muttered.

Spike walked over to Buffy "What has got you knickers in a twist love"

Buffy just shrugged her shoulders "I'll be in the shower, we have to leave by 5 to get there in enough time.

Angel watched Buffy go, Spike waited for Angel to finish up "She has gotten stronger" he smiled as he watched Spike rub his jaw.

"Tell me about it she is not the strongest Slayer for nothing" Angel got very quite.

"She was thinking of me while she was fighting with you" Spike reached for his towel and said.

"Kind of figured that" with those words they both made for the stairs.

"Can you handle that when it finally comes your way" Spike asked Angel who smiled and said.

"I think so, if all else fails I can out runner her" they both laughed at that.

Half an hour later Buffy came walking in to the kitchen "So Willow, if Dawn wants to stay with you that is ok right."

Willow knobbed her head her mouth full of pasta "Sure thing Buffy" Buffy turned to Anya "You will get Xander here for 7"

"Not a problem" was her response Buffy hugged her two friends.

"What would I do with out you guys" Both Willow and Anya returned her hug

"Probably be dead" was Anya's reply.

Spike cut Buffy response short "Ready" he asked as he walked over to Willow. Buffy watched as she saw her friend's embrace. Buffy had to turn her face as tears flooded her eyes.

Angel stood in the doorway and watched his love, he wanted nothing more to go to her and take her in his arms and love her, to share a tender moment.

Buffy turned away from her friends to give them some privacy. When her eyes connected with Angels. The earth seemed to fall way, Buffy could feel the pull drawing her near her mate, longing shot threw her system. She took a step towards him, Angel was only aware of Buffy he could hear her heartbeat feel her heat and smell her arousal. Buffy found herself drifting towards him; she couldn't have stopped to save her life. Angel's eyes called to her and spoke words that only her soul would understand. Buffy's hands touched his shoulders as his arms closed around her.

"Am I interrupting anything?" Xander asked as he walked into the room. Buffy awakened from her daze, pulled away from Angel and walked out the door Spike picked up the dish towel and threw it at Xander.

"Nice going idiot" Xander just starred a Spike he put the dishtowel down and glared at Angel. "What" he said.

Angel took a step towards Xander "Do you have a problem Harris" Xander took a step towards Angel; there they stood toe to toe.

"No but I can give you one" he said.

Angel felt old jealousy and angry begin to stir for the man who stood before him. Willow pushed her way in between the two men looking at Xander she said, "Stay out of it, take care of your wife"

And to Angel she said. "Relax and pick on someone your own size" He heard Anya gasp.

"Holy shit, look at his eye's". She turned to Xander "I thought you said he was Human" Xander took hold of her arm and said, as they walked out of the room call over his shoulder. "Who knows, I wonder what else he is not telling us".

Spike walked up to Angel. "He is just trying to protect her mate, plus he hates your guts. Don't let him bother you".

Angel could not believe he had been so close now she will be on guard whenever she is around him. Buffy was waiting outside she saw Spike and held up a hand.

"Not a word I don't want to hear it" Spike looked at her all-innocent.

"I was not going to say a word" Buffy pulled open her door and climb in behind the wheel.

They drove in silence, which seem like forever to Spike, but he decided to play her game.

"Well come on spit it out Spike I know you are dying to" Spike smiled and reached for his smokes

"You know love it is ok to have feelings for Angel" he paused to light his smoke "Buffy do you love him?"

Buffy reached over and took his cigarette and took a drag. Spike just starred at her. Buffy pulled the smoke into her lungs and released the tunnel of smoke out the window handing in back to Spike.

"Love has nothing to do with this, but" Spike cut her off

"But What Buffy I never figured you as being the cowardly type."

Buffy hurt by his words pulled over onto the side of the road "Protecting myself against hurt is being cowardly" she asked blinking away tears.

Spike just looked at his Slayer "It is if you hide away from what you feel, your taking the easy way out" Buffy looked away from Spike and pulled back onto the road they rode the rest of the way in silence.

* * *

It took almost 2 hours to pack Dawns things into Buffy's Jeep. Upon seeing both Buffy and Spike she screamed for joy trying to hug them both at the same time.

"I have missed you so much" in between kisses to Spike and Buffy. Spike pulled away and looked at the young woman before him.

"Look at you love you are beautiful" he said before placing a kiss on her forehead they hugged once more.

Buffy stood there taking in the sight of the pair that stood in front of her. She could clearly read the love reflect in each of their eyes. Buffy wondered how long they were going to keep it from each other.

''Ok squirt, lets get going we have a dinner waiting" Buffy said as she opened the door for Dawn to get in. Dawn could sense the tension in the car.

"So what are you both angry about" Dawn asked asked.

Spike turned to look at Dawn and said. "Angel is back and he is human" Dawn brought a hand to her mouth "Does this mean he and Buffy can be together" Buffy kept her eyes focused on the road.

Spike answered "Yep but your sister here is playing hard to get" Dawn was silent for awhile

"Is he at the house" she finally asked.

Buffy answered with a curt "Yes he will most likely be joining us for dinner."

Spike winked at her and all fell silent once again. Back at the house Angel sat with Giles and explained the whole situation to him regarding the gift from the powers and what happened with Darla, while this was going on Xander walked into the room. Xander let the ocean of feeling finally flood threw

* * *

"Why did you come back for? She was doing just fine," he shouted standing in the doorway.

Angel stood up "Xander I don't know what your problem is but this is not any of your Business."

Xander began to pace the floor "None of our business it is us who pick up the pieces when you leave. We have to deal with see out friend dying from the inside out."

Angel when to speak and Xander yelled "No it is your turn to listen to me, you left her all alone, why because you could not handle it, it was always about you" Xander was yelling know "Where were you when Faith stole her body and slept with her boyfriend, and then when she finds out that Faith is on her way to kill you she runs to your side just to have you betray her and defend Faith. You didn't even ask why she was angry or why she had come" Angel sat down trying to control his rage knowing this was the only way things would ever work between Xander and himself.

"Where were you when Dawn came to us and there was a hell God out for Buffy, when she died where were you. You didn't even come out for the funeral or when she came back to us. And then there was Joyce. She found her dead mother, she had to bury her mother and quit school get a job to take care of Dawn". Xander stopped he looked suddenly tired "Come on Angel, you know what's right for everyone, where were you".

Xander took a step towards Angel "I'll tell you what you where. You were to busy screwing your now human sire to care about Buffy" Angel sprang from his seat.

"Do you know what is funny Angel after all you've done it was still your name she called out."

Angel glared at him "That's what it comes down to. It has always come down to Buffy loves me not you". Xander laughed out loud and walked over to Anya who stood in shock, embraced his wife and placed a hand on her swollen belly.

"Man if you believe that your more screwed up than I thought, Buffy is my family" Angel glanced at Willow, than at Giles and realized they had all thought and felt the same way.

"I am here know and I am not going any where" he sat back down "Anything else you would like to get off your chest" he asked.

Xander walked towards him and said, "Know that you mentioned it" he leaned back swung at Angel who was completely off guard, he let his head roll with the punch. Xander stood looking at him and when he realized Angel was not going to hit him back he said, "Now we are even" and held out his hand.

Angel looked at him wearily "Xander if you hit me again this time I will hit you back" but he took his hand.

"No once was enough for me, I don't like you. But I will not interfere I have said all that I wanted to" he released Angels hand and walked over to Anya. "Babe I be back in a while, just want to run home for a bit" Anya decided to join him.

A/N Thanks to all of you that have reviewed. Your words truly inspire me! Keep them coming… I welcome all suggestions


	5. Chapter 5

A/N Thanks for all the review they are wonderful. Keep them coming. I am so happy that you are enjoying it. Angel had one more trial to work through with Buffy. Some tender moments smashed in between. I am still searching for a beta reader. Thank you for your patience

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Chapter 5

The Jeep pulled into the driveway about half an hour later the three of them gathered all they could before going into the house.

"We are home" Dawn called out dropping her bags just inside the door.

Giles was the first to reach them hugging Dawn and saying "You have grown" Dawn returned the hug her words muffled by his chest.

"And you've gotten more handsome." Giles blushed and released her. He bent over and picked up the bags she had dropped and moved towards the stairs.

Next was Willow after hugs and kisses where passed out, Spike at her side she turned and saw Angel standing off in the corner of the room, looking very uncomfortable.

"Angel" she said as tears gathered in her eyes. Angel walked towards the young woman he remembered so well. She opened her arms to receive him they embraced, she kissed his check and whispered, "Welcome home, she will come around" they stood that way for a long time.

Spike cleared his throat "Scuze me mate but there are other people here to see the niblet." His hands settled on her shoulders.

Dawn groaned and said, "Why must you call me that" Spike grabbed the girl in a headlock and said "Cuz I can" the horseplay began it didn't take long for everyone to be rolling around the floor.

Angel stood looking at his friends as they threw mock punches and leg drops. Xander walked in to the scene "Dawn" he said everyone stopped. Dawn looked up from under Willows arm "Xander" she laughed.

Xander walked over Buffy and Spike until he was directly over Dawn "Elbow drop" he said as he fell to the carpet not hurting the girl.

They all laughed Angel thought everyone had gone mad when he to was pushed from his feet and two arms wrapped around his head.

"Sleeper hold" Dawn laughed. Angel gave up and joined in on the fun Buffy was rolling around with Xander while Anya yelled her arms flapping like a duck.

"Don't hurt him! Get her Xander" he picked up Dawn and tossed her over to Spike who had Willow pinned under his legs. Xander saw Angel working his way over to Buffy so he held her down.

Once Angel was close enough he rolled away chanting "I pinned her I am the greatest of all time."

Buffy not seeing Angel behind her tried to stand up, Dawn saw this and threw her self at her sister they both landed on Angle with a loud oaf his muscled arms closed around Buffy. They rolled around Buffy trying to break out of his bear hug.

Dawn grabbed her legs and said "Spike pile on" Spike and Willow rushed towards Buffy. Willow exposed Buffy's belly and they began to tickle her friend saying. "This is for last time"

Buffy began to laugh yelling for Giles. Spike took his turn, and then Dawn and Xander even Anya took a shot at Buffy.

"That's for almost hurting my man" Finally Giles walked into the room and cleared his throat hands on his hips.

"Grow up and get off the floor dinner is on the table," They all groaned like children to annoy the watcher. Angel helped Buffy to her feet.

"This is something that we do when every Dawn comes home," she said feeling very awkward when he didn't release her. Buffy noticed that they were alone. He tugged on her hand and pulled her into his arms and said.

"I have been waiting to do this since the moment I saw you" their lips met gently his lips moved over hers. He nibbled gently on her bottom lip until she parted them allowing him access. His head swooped down as he deepen the kiss her tongue met his and he traced the inside of her mouth with the tip of his tongue, Buffy sighed as she lean into him. She pulled his lower lip into her mouth sucking gently.

"Buffy, Angel dinner is ready" Dawn said as she walked into the room stopping dead seeing them holding each other "ops sorry"

Angel broke the kiss and looked at Buffy his gaze caressed her face. "We'll be right there Dawn," he said never taking his eyes from her. "I would like to go on patrol with you later."

Buffy still unable to talk just shook her head. Dinner was enjoyable; Angel even laughed at some of Xander's jokes. Giles noted the tension in Buffy's frame as she tried to appear normal. While they were clearing the dished Dawn pulled Angel aside.

"I am really glad you're here, your not leaving are you" Angel became annoyed; he raked his hand through his hair.

"Why is everyone asking me that?" He sighed looking at the ceiling.

Dawn just looked at him "When you left you didn't even say good-bye, you were just gone. I am sorry if I have upset you Angel, old habits die hard," she offered with a shrug of her shoulders.

Angel took Dawn in his arms "It was easier that way, and I have changed a lot since I became human" he said as he rubbed her back.

"Buffy cried for weeks and then" she stopped. Angel pulled away from her to look her in the face. He took in her sad face and haunted eyes.

"Buffy what" he asked almost afraid to find out his arms still held her loosely to offer his strength.

"She.. She just wasn't the same, she always had a sad look in her eyes" Dawn sat down on her bed patting the spot next to her.

"I wanted to call you so many times but then I realized I didn't know your number, and it was not like I could ask Buffy or Giles" Angel closed his eyes as the tears threatened to fall.

"Angel I am not telling you this to make you feel bad, I just wanted to let you know that I missed you and I did what you told me to do before you left" Her hand rested on his leg.

Angel touched her face to wipe away the tears that had fallen. Gone was the little girl he remembered replacing her was a young woman.

"I took care of Buffy, and when I couldn't Spike did" she whispered causing Angel to smile.

"You sure did thank you" Dawn stood up feeling restless her voice came out hard and she walked to the window.

"I guess you know about who I really am or was and how I am not really"

Dawn got no further when Angel cut her off. He came to stand before her his hand resting on her tense shoulders.

"Dawn you are Buffy sister then, now and always" Dawn hugged Angel again and said.

"Thank you, next to Spike and Buffy you are my favorite person" she breathed into his shoulder as he pulled her close.

He laughed and followed her out of the room "So explain this obsession with Spike"

Dawn called over her should "Will do, but later you have to go on patrol know and I have asked that Spike help me move some things around so it will be just you and Buffy"

Angel reached the landing when Dawn called to him "Angel" he turned to look up at her.

"It's know my turn to ask you to take care of her" Angel smiled and said as continued to make his way down stairs muttering as he went.

"With my life, all I need is time" Dawn smiled as she followed him.

Angel walked into the Giles office "Buffy is that to tight?"

Giles asked adjusting her bandage Buffy stretched her arm.

"Nope that is just fine" Buffy said accepting the ear piece Giles handed her.

Giles turned to Angel " Here is your microphone Angel. Buffy can you show how him how it works?"

Angel listened to Buffy explain how it worked and helped him place it in his ear. As they were leaving the door, Spike appeared and said, "Be sure to check in luv and if you need help just shout cuz I will hear you"

Buffy smiled and hugged him "I love you, you blonde idiot"

Spike returned the hug his eyes holding Angel's gaze, he then pushed them out the door muttering, "Flattery will get you no where"

They walked in silence for a while and finally Angel had to ask. "So you and Spike are close?"

Buffy smiled it only took him 20 minutes to work up the nerve to ask her. "Yes we are, we're partners in crime."

Angel pushed open the gate at the cemetery entrance for Buffy "But he is with Willow right" he asked trying to sound casual.

Suddenly out of nowhere Angel and Buffy heard Spike say, "I am not shagging the bloody girl so don't worry".

Angel stopped Buffy laughed trying to explain, "They can hear everything were saying"

Angel turned beat red "Where is Giles?" Buffy asked.

"He is with the niblet looking at her course selection for next semester. So I get to play ground control."

They turned a corner "Ok Angel this is were we split up which way do you want to go?" Buffy asked touching his arm.

He looked disappointed " I thought we would stay together" he asked.

Spike answered before Buffy "Nope you have 2 other cemeteries to check before heading home, if there is a problem let us know. Angle you know to speak normally" Angel knobbed his head, Buffy started to laugh once more.

Spike's voice rang through saying "Buffy he is knobbed his head right?"

Buffy covered her mouth with her hand, Spike was patiently explaining to Angel. "I can't hear you when you do that"

Angel finally gave in and laughed too "Sorry Houston, it won't happen again.

Angel looked at Buffy "Call if you need anything" her hand still rested on his arm.

Buffy smiled and said "You to" before she could stop herself she kissed his check and walked away.

Spike began his little peep talk "Ok gang this no picnic this is a hunt and you're the hunters. Take no prisoners. Show no mercy and if all that fails run like a son of a bitch."

"Spike will you please shut up" Buffy moaned as she walked up the path to the crematorium.

"Sorry Sparrow leader got carried away" Spike laughed.

This time Angel's laughter was heard "Sparrow Leader, what the hell is that, no wait don't tell me Xander."

Buffy fought the urge to laugh "Be quiet I need to hear."

All fell silent they made a quick sweep, when Buffy notice a light flashing by a grave she was to close to call out to Angel.

Buffy cleared the hill staying in the shadows when she heard voices she followed the sounds.

"I couldn't live with out him, so when Butch turned me I had to turn Petie, he is going to be so surprised to see me, is my make up on right Shari." The other girl agreed that she looked fine.

"Buffy you ok" Angel asked Buffy did not want to take the chance of giving up her hiding spot, so she remained quite.

"Buffy" he said again then she heard him say "Spike where is she, she is not answering."

Spike came threw "Give her a few minutes" Buffy crept in closer once she was sure there was only two. She stepped out from behind the head stone.

"Your make up is fine, it is your outfit that needs help," she said.

"Slayer" they hissed jumping to their feet, Buffy watched their faces change preparing for battle.

"Gee where has the element of surprise gone?" Both vamps charged and Buffy stood proud ready for battle.

"Angel I'm by the Clark Monument" she called out ducking a fist.

Spike voice came alive "Angel did you hear that."

Angel broke out into a run "On my way, Buffy how many" he asked as he speed through the cemetery.

Buffy's elbow connected the Shari jaw sending her face first in the mud "Only 2 but we will have a newbie any minute"

Angel listened to the sounds of battle he came onto the scene as Buffy finished dusting Petie.

Angel stopped in front of her "Why didn't you answer me?" he asked. Buffy went on to explain how she couldn't without giving up her hiding spot.

Suddenly she was pulled into his arms "Angel I am alright" she said pulling away a smile on her face. Buffy gasped and took a step back when she saw his eyes.

"Oh my God Angel your eyes" she cried, fear gripped her heart.

Angel raised his hands in a calming gesture. "Buffy relax" she shook her head.

"Your human, not a vampire, your going to leave again" she whispered more to herself than Angel, her body began to tremble.

Suddenly Buffy had to get away she felt her resolve slip "Spike, Spike" she began to call franticly while she backed away.

"Angel what the hell is going on" Spike asked he was standing by the desk.

"Nothing everything is under control, Buffy just noticed my eyes". He said approaching Buffy who had backing up until her back his the fence.

"Buffy it's ok I am not going any where, when I became human the PTB let me keep my vampire strength and speed, a side effect is my eyes change color when ever I experience strong emotions".

Buffy stood rooted to her spot Angel watched her fight for control.

"Slayer" Spikes voice rang out "you alright luv?"

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath "I'm fine, it was just a shock" When she opened her eyes all traces of fear where gone she was in complete control again.

"Spike we are off" Angel called out taking Buffy's arm to lead her out of the main gate.

8 Vamps later, they finished for the night. The walk back towards the house was a silent one, each in there own thoughts. Angel finally said

"So are you up for coffee" his hand gently squeezed hers.

Every nerve in her system screamed NO but Spikes words from earlier on this evening echoed in her mind.

"Sure why not it's only 12:30am" she said with a quick glance at her watch. Angel opened the door for Buffy.

They walking onto the living room and were greeted by three sleeping forms. Willow asleep in the recliner, Spike sitting up with his feet on the coffee table with Dawns head pillowed in his lap. Buffy walked over and shut off the TV awaking Dawn.

"Your back early" Dawn sat up slowly trying not to disturb Spike.

"Thank God niblet. I thought you were going to break my legs," he groaned setting his feet on the carpet.

Buffy asked Dawn to go and check the guest room to make sure everything was ok.

"Spike carry Will up and get her to bed. I'll get her a pj" Spike stood up and very gently picked up Willow. Angel was amazed at the affection he saw reflected in Spike's eyes while he held Willow closed to whisper that everything was all right.

Buffy followed them up stairs; "She is a good woman" Spike thought as he gently slipped Willow under the covers, Spike sat for a moment, Willow was his friend and lover at times. But they were not in love with each other. He stood up and gently kissed her check, they kept each other safe from the people they truly loved and could not have.

Angel set about to make coffee. He was running the water when his stomach rumbled.

"Are you hungry?" Dawn asked causing him to jump.

"A little' he said. Dawn got up and began to pull out all the leftovers from dinner.

"Good me too" she said they worked in silence, pulling out plates and warming up containers. By the time Spike re entered the kitchen both of them were filling there plates Spike made a beeline for the coffee. Buffy walked in after Spike she looked fresh and clean in her sweats, She walked to the counter and Spike handed her a mug. Angel tried not to notice how intimate the two could be, without even realizing it.

She sat next to Angle at the table, Spike taking the other empty chair facing her. "Just a little hungry Dawn?"

Buffy laughed eyeing the girl's plate piled high. Angel passed Buffy a plate and said. "Eat you know you want to".

They all sat in silence while they ate. Angel signed as he pushed his plate away "Who is the chef" he asked while he rubbed his belly.

"Buffy made the sauce, Willow the pasta from scratch, if I may boast, and Anya made the bread rolls, and the desert" Spike reaching for another roll.

Angel looked at Buffy "You can cook?" he asked. Buffy swallowed before she answered.

"I had to when mom died, we got tired of Pizza and Taco Bell". He turned his attention to Dawn.

"Ok so shoot, why are you nuts for this guy", he said poking his finger into Spike shoulder.

Dawn laughed and said, "You mean you can't tell just by looking at him" Buffy got up from the table, carrying the dished to the sink Dawn started.

"Well it just kind of happened. I guess it was a crush to start off; he just was always was around whenever we needed something. I use to sneak around behind Buffy's back to see him. Then Riley put that chip in his head he found out all he could hit where demons. So he began to help with patrolling at night and research. Angel" she laughed "you should have hear these two go at it, the 2 of them never shut up both needing the last word in everything".

Dawn handed her plate to Buffy "The next thing we new he was part of the gang. Then Glory came" just saying the name caused Dawn to shudder Spike took her hand in his "when Buffy was fighting she would leave me with Spike, he was the only one strong enough to protect me, I had no idea I was the key only Buffy and Giles knew"

Buffy came back to the table bring the pot of coffee with her "then it was Buffy birthday, I tried to run away because I felt left out, not wanted Mom was sick. Spike found me in the park, he took me in wouldn't let me leave we were attacked by some of Glory's guys so we broke into the Magic Box and hid"

Spike got up and went in search of his smokes "That is when we found Giles's diaries. I read them and found out that I was not Buffy's sister that I was really nothing at all and I was the thing that Glory was killing people for, the next thing I know Spike pushed me into the closet, I heard fighting and when I came out he was gone. I ran all the way home crying."

Dawn smiled ruefully showing Angel her arm "I cut myself to see if I would bleed red, that is how Buffy found me. I kept with the tradition of ruining Buffy's birthday."

Spike re entered the room. "Well Buffy and the gang went to rescue Spike, Glory had done a number on him beaten him raw" Angel looked at Spike who had his head lowered in memory "Buffy was worried that Spike would tell Glory I was the key. She still didn't trust him, but I knew for some reason he would die before telling her. They got him out it took him 2 months to heal, that is when Buffy and Spike started to become friends, then mom got worse and Buffy found…"Dawn faltered "mom died and he was there. He helped us. He protected us. When Glory found out that I was the key and came after me it was Spike who protected me until Buffy came" Dawns eyes filled with tears.

"When Buffy died, Spike and Willow took care of me, he held me when I need to be held, let me scream, he was always with me even when I was alone he was there. Then Buffy was back."

Angel interrupted "How did you come back" he asked Buffy who responded looking at her coffee cup.

"Willow realized that I was trapped in a demon dimensions and pulled me out" Angel looked startled by the very thought of Buffy in hell.

"That makes sense," he said causing Spike to look at him

"Whatcha mean" he could not help asking. Angel never taking his eyes from Buffy answered.

"It makes sense because if Buffy where to die I would have felt it, but she just passed through worlds". Buffy had to look away from him stare as feeling of betrayal came rushing forward.

Dawn picking up on the tension in the room continued. "He helped Buffy threw that hard time helped her heal, she came back a total mess burn marks cuts"

"Dawn" Buffy interjected a warning clearly laced her words.

"Both he and Willow stayed with me. Made sure I ate, went to school while Buffy worked during the day and went to school at night and then they both patrol at night."

Dawn stood up and said "And that my friend is why Spike is a valued and very much loved member of my family" With those words she gave kisses all around and went up to bed.

Spike finished his smoke and said, "I'm out of here, I can hear Willow calling me". He squeezed Buffy shoulder as he passed.

Buffy looked at Angel who still seemed to be processing all he had heard.

"You asked for it," she said as she stood up he stood up with her.

"Your off to bed to?" he asked.

Buffy looked at him "No not yet" she said.

Angel smiled "So do you feel like talking" Buffy refilled her coffee mug and held up the pot offering the last. Angel accepted they made their way to the living room and sat on the couch.

"So tell me about your self? " she said trying not to laugh.

Angel smiled "Never thought I would here those words coming from your mouth. But ok, what would you like to know?"

Buffy remained silent for a while and said one word "Why"

Angel put down his mug and replied "It was the only way at the time Buffy. When we fought the Mora Demon it told us more was to come that together we were strong and apart we were weak, so I thought I did what was best."

She took a sip of her coffee "Best for you or me" she asked looking him in the eye.

Angel stood up and said, "TPTB told me you would have died if"

Buffy interrupted "I did die, I was gone for nearly 3 months and where were you" she asked standing up.

Angel saw the flash of anger and betrayal in her eyes "Buffy if I had known"

Buffy began to pace in front of him "Angel save it for someone who cares, because you sure as hell didn't".

He sat back down and said, "Are we going to talk or attack each other, because if we are I'll need something stronger than coffee."

Buffy stood there looking at him, he could feel her anger as it filled the room, and he watched her trying to regain some control over her self. Suddenly she picked up her mug and walked out of the room.

"Oh no you don't" he said as he followed, he knew he had to face her anger the problem was getting her to let go of it.

"I am going to bed Angel, alone that means with out you in it" she called over her shoulder.

"Buffy I only got into bed with you because you called out to me". He said blocking the doorway. It was time to start pushing.

Buffy stiffened "What are you talking about" she asked taking a step back and he closed the distance between them.

"Buffy " he said reaching out to take her arm "I know about the night terrors" Buffy's eyes harden.

"So you're an expert too know" she asked pulling her arm away from him and moving deeper into the kitchen.

"Buffy I don't want to fight" he muttered from the doorway.

Buffy sat down suddenly "I'm sorry" she started, "I don't' know what is wrong with me, I don't want to fight either".

He knelt before her and took her hand between his and said, "Please stop shutting me out, I want to be with you Buffy" She turned her face and said.

"Angel I am very tired and would like to go to bed". Her eyes finding a spot on the wall to focus on.

Frustrated he stood up and began to pace in from of her "Why so you can cry yourself to sleep, that's what you do right". Angel decided to push a little harder. This wall she surrounded herself in was higher and stronger then he had thought.

Buffy stood up and said "Keep your voice down" she gazed down the hall afraid he would wake up the whole house.

Angel reached for her and grasped her arms crushing her to his chest. "You call out to me in your dreams, I've heard you and felt you" Buffy began to struggle to get out of his arms.

"Angel let me go," she whispered trying to fight off the anger that began to bubble deep within her.

"You're torturing yourself, because you don't want to feel," he continued like she had never spoken.

Buffy kicked out her foot connecting with his shin. Angel's grip loosened "I said let go of me" Buffy cried finally managing to shake him off. Buffy looked into his eye's which where a blaze

"You have no right to come here and tell me how to live my life, you don't know anything about me". She yelled

Angel could feel her anger, but he still pushed on "Why Buffy, come on … tell me what are you so afraid of, or should I saw who are you afraid of".

Buffy eyes flashed green fire; "Back off Angel this is none of your business". She whispered her voice deadly calm. She was fighting to control her rage, he grabbed her suddenly and she saw red her fist shot out catching him on chin, he went flying into the table knocking it over

"GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT" she yelled at the top of her lungs. Her heart was racing; Buffy could not get enough air to her lungs. "You have not right to demand anything from me," she screamed her arms waving as she began to melt down.

"You threw me away like a piece of garbage, just get out" she slammed her hand against the counter making all the dishes that sat in the holder to dry fall into the sink. Angel sat on the floor touching his jaw; pulling his fingers away he saw blood _"great"_ he thought.

He heard Buffy yelling at him to get out. She was frantic, he could see the panic in her eyes, her face red as she tried to catch her breath, he saw her sway and was on his feet

"No get out, or so help me God I will throw you out. You have not right," she screamed.

"Slayer" Spike yelled as he ran down the stairs followed by Willow and Dawn "Buffy what" he took a step towards his friend seeing she was frantic.

"Spike" she said taking a step towards her friend. Spike had become Buffy's safety net the one true person she could always count on.

Angel blocked her path "No" Angel said as he walked towards Buffy "Buffy please relax" he approached her the same way he would a wounded animal.

She backed herself into a corner. _I am having a heart attach she thought; if he touches me I will die_. Her breath raced from her as she tried to bite back on her emotions.

Spike seeing his friend frantic tried to intervene "Angel leave her a lone you have gone to far".

Willow grabbed his arm and shook her head "Let him deal with this"

Spike took another look at Buffy. "But Willow look at her"

Willow shook her head and insisted, "Let _him_ deal with this"

Spike found it very difficult to turn his back on the slayer. Dawn took his hand and pulled him from the room.

Buffy's lungs were on fire, she saw red dots flash before her eyes. Angel caught her before she could hit the ground. He held her to his chest and felt her feverish skin; he walked up the stairs and into her room.

He did not look at Spike, Willow or Dawn as he walked down the hallway. He put her on the bed and removed her shirt and sweats and pulled the covers over her body. There was a knock at the door, Willow poked her head in.

"Can I come in?" She looked at Buffy and sat down on the bed, so much hurt and pain she truly felt for her friend.

"That was not the reaction I was expecting," he said coming to stand beside her.

Willow pointed to his lip "Looks like it started out to be".

Angel looked at the woman he loved and said, "What have I done to her. How can she keep all that in and not go insane"

Willow stood up and passed him a cloth to wipe his mouth "What happened?" she asked.

Angel told Willow what had passed between them. Willow listened quietly until he was done.

"Sound to me like she scared herself, she almost let her anger consume her. She was over whelmed at her sudden rush of whatever emotion she was feeling"

Angel stood up and took off his jacket and grabbed a pillow off the bed. "I know what emotion it was," he said trying to get comfortable in armchair.

"It was rage, Willow I felt it radiating off of her." Angel stopped suddenly closing his eyes.

Willow felt sorry for her friend "It will get better Angle. She is afraid of you and herself," she said standing up "I better go to bed."

Angel just nodded his head in agreement his eyes were on Buffy. Willow switched off the light.

"So how angry is Spike" he asked before she reached the door, Willow laughed "He'll get over it, it's hard sometimes, they've all be threw so much together."

Angel sighed, "Yes I know I keep hearing that" he tried to keep the annoyance out of his voice.

Willow shut the door and walked back to Angel "Spike and Buffy have been nothing more but friends," she whispered looking at Buffy who shifted on the bed.

Angel closed his eyes feeling instant regret for having spoken those words out loud. "Willow I am sorry, it is just that I see them together. And how intimate they are at time with their gestures and how completed relaxed with each other. It just that" he stop when he realized what he was about to say.

Willow smiled as she reached for Angels hand "It should be you" she finished for him. Angel just nodded his head.

"Angel you have to understand Buffy and Spike have a very deep attachment, trust in not an issue for them, they have been partners for a long time, he never stopped Buffy from doing anything. He let Buffy take care of Buffy. He will let her make her own mistakes but always letting her know he will be behind her in her corner no matter what".

Willow stood up and said "The only way to explain this is that they accept each other completely they respect each other as mortal enemies and love each other as family. It was Spike who was able to bring Buffy out of her hell when she came back to us, because he understood her pain and torture. They both suffered the same kind of pain they're not very different you know he had Dru and Buffy had you. Angel you are going to have to learn how to deal with their relationship, because it will not change. They have come too far and been to hell and back. To Love and accept Buffy you will have to except Spike as part of her world."

Willow walked towards the door again and pulled it open, Angels words stopped her cold.

"The way you have?" he asked there was no hidden meaning in his words, just a simple question. Willow turned to look him in the eyes

"It was never an issue for me, I have no need to be jealous of Buffy, or her relationship with Spike." She turned her back on him again "One thing you can be sure of Spike will do what ever is best for Buffy."

Angel heard the door open and close. He closed his eyes and let sleep take him. Tomorrow would be another day.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N First I need to send out a BIG THANK YOU to Alatariel113. Your input only made the chapter better. I would still be pulling my hair out if not for you!. WARNING… There is a love scene in this chapter. I have tried to keep it tasteful and not cross that line… If your are sensitive you might want to skip that part

Disclaimer: I own nothing; Gaven and Bill are character I have created.

Chapter 6

He had no idea how long he had been a sleep when he felt someone poking him in the shoulder.

"Angel" Buffy whispered shaking him gently.

He opened his eyes slowly and saw Buffy kneeling in front of him covered in sweat and shaking. He sat up right with a groan his hand rubbing the kink in his neck.

"What is it are you ok?" He asked not moving. Buffy took his hand and pulled him to his feet.

"Buffy" he asked again gently pulling his hand from her hold. Just to have her reach for it again.

Buffy led him to the bed and pulled the covers back, and climbed in. Her eyes found his; a look of pure longing was clearly shining with in her gaze.

"What Buffy" Angel whispered needing to hear her say it; he needed to hear her say she needed him.

"Please" she whispered; "I need to feel your arms around me" she patted the spot beside her.

That was all it took Angel stripped down and climbed in next to her. He pulled her against him spoon style. His heart sang as soon as their flesh touched.

"Angel" she murmured, her voice thick with sleep as she snuggled closer to him.

"Yes love" he answered kissing the back of her head. He felt her tremble within his embrace.

"I'm scared," she said in a small voice. Angel began to stroke her arm as his other settled more firmly around her waist pulling her closer to him.

"Of what?" he asked, when she didn't reply he tried once more. "Talk to me Buffy?" he said.

"I am afraid of you… of us… I have so much locked up inside. I am so scared that once you see it you will run" Buffy spoke from her heart.

"We will deal with it together, trust me, let me help you carry the pain" he spoke into the darkness of the room.

"I know you're angry with me Buffy, I have hurt you on so many levels, I can deal with it" he said.

Buffy turned to face him, her eyes meeting and holding his as she gently leaned in and kissed him, before settling herself against him to sleep.

Buffy awoke to the smell of coffee; she gently pulled free of Angel and looked down at him. God he was magnificent, his skin was perfect slightly tanned. Buffy stood up smiling.

Her fingers reached out to trace his full lower lip, notice the faint bruise just under his lip, she remembered drawing it into her mouth and running her tongue over it feeling its texture. Angel began to stir. She brought the blankets up over his chest tucking him in. Buffy took one more look at him walked out of the room.

She walked into the kitchen glad to see someone fixed the table. She will have to keep a better hold on her feelings until she could figure out how to process all that was in her head. "How are you feeling?"

Buffy turned startled. "Spike, you scared me" Spike came into the room.

"Cordy called this morning, she wants you to give her a call" Buffy gave a nod he watched her reach for her day timer.

Spike just stared at her "You scared me last night" he whispered. Buffy put her coffee mug down.

"I am so sorry I freaked out last night". Both Buffy and Spike were unaware that Angel was in the doorway watching them. He watched Buffy take Spike into her arms and hug him tight. Then he hears Spike's voice thick with tears say.

"You reminded me of that day, Glory had Dawn, when you were fighting your way up the ramp, you couldn't get to her so you started to scream my name telling me to get her out" Spike could not stop the tear that slid down his face into Buffy hair. Angel noticed that Buffy was crying too "But when I got to the top of the ramp to grab Dawn-"

Buffy stopped him "Spike it's not your fault, you saved Dawn you took care of her, gave her a home." Buffy said pulling away from him to look into his eyes.

"But I couldn't save you, I let you die" he said softly the muscle in his jaw clenched as he fought back his emotions.

Buffy shook her head "NO Spike! Don't you ever think that! I made a choice. It is my job to make choices like that"

"All those memories came flooding back. When I saw you jump" he had to stop as his voice cracked with emotion "Buffy that was the worst day of my life"

Buffy squeezed him tighter, she remembered Dawn telling her that Spike carried her body back to the house and kept watch over her grave so no vamps could desecrate it. It was Spike that had put two and two together and realized that she was not really dead. Some Vamps had up her grave and opened it, and after he had dusted them he noticed that she had not decomposed. He had gone to willow, with his finding. If it where not for Spike Buffy would still be in the cold dark ground. Buffy was brought back to reality when she felt Spike tighten his hold.

"When I heard you shouting". Buffy kissed his check and said "Spike, it's okay I am fine and I am not going anywhere. You have never let me down and stealing a phrase from Dawn is why you are a very valuable and loved member of my family"

Spike smiled and released her he stepped back and brought up his hand to wipe away the few tears she had shed. He took a moment to get his feelings under control and decided to try and lighten the mood. "Come on Slayer I'll buy you a cup a coffee" reaching into the cupboard for another mug.

Angel took a few moments to collect himself and walked into the kitchen "Good morning" he said reaching for a mug just to have Spike take the mug from him to prepare his coffee.

Spike smiled but remained silent as he watched the two interact. "Angel" Buffy started "I just wanted to apologize for last night, I should not have reacted the way I did."

Angel came to sit by Buffy "I am sorry too. I pushed when I knew I shouldn't have". Nothing else was said as Dawn came into the kitchen.

"Buffy, Bill is on the phone he wants to know when you'll be by to pick up your tickets for the charity dance?"

Buffy stood up reaching for her day timer. "Oh my God I completely forgot!" she cried reaching for the phone as she walked out to the room.

"What charity dance?" Angel asked kissing Dawn on the forehead. He watched her steal Spike's coffee cup.

"Oh it's this thing at Buffy's work, almost like a policeman's ball, dinner dancing." Dawn grabbed a muffin "We go to one every year. Last year Buffy made Spike outbid Bill for the Buy-a-Date fund raiser." With those words she walked out to the kitchen

"She what?" he asked Spike as he made himself another coffee. He waited until he was sitting at the table to respond.

"They auction off the Sergeants, it is quite funny cuz Buffy is the only female on her squad. All the funds go to charity, and Bill who has been after Buffy for about 2 years now-"

Angel interrupted "The guy on the phone?" He asked, glancing down the hall to where Buffy stood looking at her planner a smile on her face.

Spike nodded, giving a long sigh, "May I continue?"

Angel smiled "Sorry" he turned back to face the blond.

"Yes the guy on the phone. What it is really is that they are buying a date for the night"

Angel smiled and said, "Can anyone participate on the bidding?" His mind raced with the possibilities.

Spike sipped his coffee. "Yep." He could almost hear the wheels in Angel's head turning.

Angel stood up and said, "I need a ticket," and went in search of Dawn. He walked by Buffy who was still deep into her conversation; Dawn was in her room unpacking.

Angel knocked before he entered. "Dawn I need your help."

Dawn sat down fighting off a smile and said, "Let me guess you need a ticket for the ball."

He laughed walking into her room "Am I that obvious?"

Dawn unable to hold in her laughter said, "It is already covered. When I spoke to Bill I told him I need another ticket for a date."

Angle let out a small laugh as he walking towards her; he pulled her into a bear hug. "You are wonderful, Dawn."

Dawn smiled and said, "You know what this means don't you?"

Angel was too excited to care. Dawn smiled and continued, "You are going to be my date"

Angel, with twinkle in his eyes, got down onto one knee and said, "It would be my pleasure fair lady."

At that moment Buffy walked into Dawns room "Dawn I have to…" she stopped and looked at the two of them. Buffy decided not to ask so she said, "Dawn I have to go to work, then I have some errands to run."

Dawn helped Angel, who was blushing, to his feet. "Do you want me to come with you?" she asked Buffy who nodded her head. "Thanks! I need to find a dress anyway," Dawn, said trying to keep from laughing.

Buffy turned on her heel but could not help herself. Looking back over her shoulder she said, "Pink is a good color for you Angel." Buffy closed the bathroom door but not before she heard Dawn rip into laughter.

* * *

45 minutes later Buffy, Willow and Dawn were pulling into the main mall strip parking lot. They had a wonderful time trying on dresses and shoes. Everyone had decided on a dress but Buffy. After 3 hours of endless shopping they stop for coffee. "So when is Cordy and Doyle coming down?" Dawn asked before she took a big bite of her donut.

Buffy took a sip of her coffee before she answered. "They're not. Piper came down with the chicken pox."

"The joys of mother hood," Willow laughed. They sat around chatting when Buffy turned to Dawn asked.

"And who are you bring to the dance? Bill told me you asked for another ticket." Dawn just smiled as she wiped her mouth.

"You'll just have to wait and see." After their coffee they resumed dress hunting for Buffy. They had all but given up hope when Willow saw it.

"Buffy look at this," she said taking it off the rake. Just then they heard a ringing.

"Is that my bat signal or yours?" Buffy asked watching Dawn reach for her cell phone.

"Hello?" she answered.It was Giles asking to speak to Buffy. "Buffy, it's Giles," she said handing over the phone.

"Hiya Giles," she laughed into the phone, her eyes watching Willow as she held up the dress.

"Buffy, I need you to meet me here at the museum at once we have a big problem." He sounded tense.

Buffy hung up and handed Dawn her credit card, "I have to go meet Giles. Please pick out something nice and not too expensive for me. Here, take the car," she said handing her the keys. "Drop Willow off at home and I'll be back later. Oh, and I will need shoes too!"

Dawn took her hand. "Is everything ok?" She dropped Buffy's car keys into her purse.

Buffy smiled and said, "I'm not sure yet. Will you two be alright?"

Dawn laughed, "Do you want me to fix us some dinner?" Dawn watched her sister begin to move.

Buffy gave thumbs up and said, "What ever you make, make a lot of it" and began to walk toward the door, glad she had worn her running shoes. She was so deep in thought, that Buffy did not see the person in front of her. "Oh, I'm so sorry!" she apologized as she walked right into him and knocked him off his feet.

Buffy reached down to help the man stand. "Really, I am very sorry…" she took a moment to get a good look at the man she had bumped into. "Oz, is that you?" she asked, pulling him into a hug.

"Buffy it is so good to see you." He returned her hug and smile lit his handsome face.

At that moment Willow walked up and asked, "Oz is that you?" Oz released Buffy and turned to Willow.

He pulled her into his arms and whispered, "I've missed you, Willow. How are you?" Willow returned his embrace.

Buffy interrupted, suddenly feeling very nervous, and said, "Excuse me, I have to get going. Willow, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Willow understood why Buffy wanted talk to her, and allowed her friend to pull her off to the side, leaving Dawn to entertain Oz.

"Giles called and he needs to see me pronto. Uh, Spike will be there, so what should I tell him if he asks what you're doing?"

Willow laughed, taking in Buffy's expression. "The truth," she said simply, with a smile.

Buffy looked at her friend "Okay Will," she said, not fully understanding and began to make her way to Giles, jogging the short distance between the mall and the museum. Pushing open the revolving door Buffy noticed how empty the place was.

* * *

"Giles?" she called out, walking into the back office.

"In here!" came the muffled reply. Buffy followed the voice to find Spike and Angel already there.

"What took you so long?" Spike asked. Buffy just glared as she pulled out a chair for herself.

"Did you get everything you needed from the mall?" Angel asked sitting next to her.

Buffy smiled. "Not quite," thinking of the dress Willow had shown her.

All was silent when Giles re-entered the room "Good you're all here," he said putting his books down.

"Ok what gives Giles, what is going on here?" Buffy asked looking directly at her watcher, trying not to look at Spike

"Drusilla is back and she is with Gaven." Buffy looked from Spike to Giles, feeling for her friend.

"And?" she finally said looking at them, a little annoyed they had called her away from her shopping for something as small as Dru. Angel was the one to answer.

"Gaven was a powerful warlock and just before he was to take his teaching from the grand sorcerer, Darla turned him."

Again Buffy's response was "And?"

This time it was Spike who answered. He slid out of his chair and walked around to stand next to Giles. "And he will not stop until he has killed everything in his way."

Angel glanced at Spike to say, "How in hell did she find him and bring him back?" Buffy her eyes were trained on Spike. Instinct told her he was involved somehow.

They all seemed to be talking at once. "Stop! Can someone please fill me in on Mr. Hocus Pocus and Crazy Dru"

Spike stood up and said, "Angel I'll leave that up to you," and walked out. Giles was rubbing his glasses so hard Buffy was certain that they would break under the pressure.

"Giles," she started just to see him shake his head.

"It is best that Angel fill you in on the details since he was there. We will meet later on, at the house to go over the details," he said before following Spike out of the room.

Angel turned to Buffy. "So you're stuck with me," he laughed reaching for her hand.

"Are you hungry?" she asked Angel as her stomach rumbled.

"Sure we will get some food and talk," he said as they walked out the door. They made their way to the deli across the way. With Angel loaded down with drinks, chips and sandwiches, they made their way over to the picnic area in the park.

Once they were settled on the grass Buffy asked, "Okay, what is the take on Gavin and Dru, and how is this going to hurt Spike?"

Buffy waited until Angel finished chewing on his sandwich. "Gaven, like I said before, was a great warlock, very powerful. He made it known that when he finished his teaching, he was going to declare war on evil using his good magic." He stopped to take a drink of his soda. "At the time, Darla-" Angel noticed how Buffy's eyes harden at the mention of the other woman's name. "Dru, Spike and I had just finished our travels."

Buffy sighed and said, "Angel can we get to the point? I really do not need to hear about your romp around with Darla."

Angel just stared at her. "Okay," he said reaching for the other half of his lunch. "To make a long story short Darla went out on the hunt and found Gaven coming out of church. She saw something she liked and took him. We tortured him for days and finally turned him. He came back with a vengeance. We thought he had lost his magical abilities in the change over, but we were wrong and if anything it was stronger. We could not control him and one night he took out a small village, and we had to outrun a mob. That was the last straw, so we drugged him, tied him up and buried him in one of the many caves in the hillside east of London"

Buffy let this information sink in. "So what does he want with Spike?" she asked munching on her own food.

Angel glanced at her "How do you know it is Spike he is coming for?"

Buffy smiled and said, "I know, I can feel it. Spike is worried."

Angel reached out to take her hand. "Out of all of us, he hated Spike the most because he wanted Dru. He could sense her power and thought that they belonged together."

His words began to sink in and Buffy lost her appetite. She stretched out and asked, "Who put him in the ground?"

Buffy knew the answer but needed to hear it anyways. "Spike" was Angel's response.

She closed her eyes. Angel leaned back and watched. He could almost hear her thoughts. It was a major no-no to turn on one of your own, so Spike was in trouble.

"So" he said after a few minutes. Buffy sat up and reached for her bag.

"Two things: one, you have to call Darla and tell her what is going on. Two, I need to talk to Willow"

Buffy was talking to Willow when she felt the first drops of rain against her skin "Okay Will, I will see you to night," she said snapping the phone shut. "We had better hurry if we do not want to get caught in the rain."

Angel stood up and reached for the blanket. "Were closer to mansion than the car." Buffy tied her bag around her waist. The car was parked at the museum; they had decided to walk to the park to have their lunch.

"You're right, we're about a block away from your place and 3 from the museum. Just then the sky opened up.

"Lets go!" Angel yelled reaching for her hand. Angel and Buffy ran side by side through the back woods until they reached the path that lead to the garden Angel sighed when they reached the door.

* * *

Once in side they looked at each other, both of them breathing hard from the run. Angel took in Buffy's appearance; her cloths clung to her body molding to her skin he could see her breasts clearly, her nipples hard from the cold. He watched as droplet of water traced its way down her neck. Buffy stood very still aware of Angel's appraisal of her body.

"Uh Angel could I get a towel" she asked feeling her body heat under his intense gaze. He snapped out of his daze, thankful he was wearing black jeans or Buffy would be able to see what kind of effect she was having on him. She followed him into the living room careful to stay off the carpet. Angel left her there to go get a towel.

Buffy took in the room she had not here in almost 4 years; the last time she was here was when she was searching for Faith. She let her eyes roam the room taking in the furniture some new, some old.

"I take it Cordy decorated?" she called out, hearing him approach.

"How could you tell?" he said walking into the room handing her a towel. A few minutes later he said.

"This is not going to work. Get out of those clothes" he pulled off his shirt not looking at her.

Buffy took a step back clutching the towel to her fear raced through her. Angel laughed and said.

"Relax I won't touch you" he took a step towards her just barely touching her, she could feel the heat generating off his body "Unless you want me to," he whispered.

Buffy opened her mouth, and when nothing came out she closed it. All she could do is stare into his eyes. Angel took her hand and pulled her towards the hallway up to the first level and into his room. Buffy could not move she stood rooted to the floor. Angel walked into the joining bathroom and the next thing Buffy heard was water running. Angel appeared in the doorway.

"Come on," he said, Buffy moved towards him. "Take a shower, get the chill out of your bones. I'll call Dawn and let her know where we are." He kissed her gently and walked out closing the door.

Buffy sat down on the toilet, suddenly very weak. Tears came to her eyes. _When he sees my scars he won't want me,_ she thought as she slowly she began to undress, pulling the shower curtain back she muttered, "Why would he when Darla is keeping him company?"

Angel ran down the stairs and picked up the phone all the while keeping an ear out for the running water.

"Dawn?" he said hearing the young woman pick up the phone.

"Hi Angel, Buffy is not here," Dawn said, he could hear the smile in her voice.

Angel chuckled while he pulled out four thick candles and tried to balance the phone at the same time. "I know Dawn, she is here with me." He went on to explain what had happen and how they have no car, and would have to wait out the rain. Dawn just laughed.

"Okay I get it, so I will tell everyone to meet at your place around 9pm for the reach party on the new big bad. Dawn turned hearing the door open. She waved seeing Spike, but quickly frowned he looked distracted.

Angel's reply was "If you were here I would kiss you," Angel said almost dropping the phone.

Dawn said, "Okay I will bring dinner for the both of you and you have the basic stuff munching needed to keep our thinking process on track right" she quickly said wanting to get off the phone.

"And that is…?" he asked stopping at her question.

"Soda, chips, munchies all around." Dawn answered quickly.

Angel laughed, "Will do! Thanks Dawn, just bring yourselves."

She wished him luck and said before he could hang up "Angel" her voice suddenly strained.

"Yah?" he said as he checked the cupboards to make sure he had munchies.

"Buffy hasn't been with anyone since Riley." Angel swallowed his whole body went still.

"Thanks Dawn, we'll see you later" He hung up the phone. Dawn's words echoing in his mind that means he was still a vampire when Buffy had sex last. Shaking his head he made his way to the bedroom he placed the candles around the room and lit them.

Buffy reached for the shampoo and began to lather her hair while humming a tune. She had just finished rising off, her eyes closed letting the hot water run over her face and neck when she felt his arms surround her. Angel expected her to jump or shout, but she was perfectly still. She stood there under the stream of water her inner voice screaming at her to protect herself. Buffy shook her head and thought, "_No, this is for me,_" and leaned into him. Her eyes opened to gaze at him. She gasped when her breasts touched his chest. Angel sensing her surrender ran his hands up her wet body until they were just below her breasts. Suddenly Buffy pulled away to look him in the face. Her eyes drank him in and Angel could see the raw desire reflected in her eyes. She reached for the soap and began to lather his body.

Her fingers gliding over his muscled shoulders, down his chest stopping to finger his nipples. She smiled when she heard his breath catch. Down his chest, working the soap in and getting familiar with his body. Over his thighs and finally his feet. Angel turned slowly so his back was facing her and she made her slow trek back up his body.

Angel had to place his hands flat against the wall when she reached his buttocks. Her strong fingers messaged the firm flesh. Angel could not take it any more he turned around and picked Buffy up. He pinned her to the tiled wall with his body, her legs wrapped around his trim waist instinctively. His tongue ran the length of her neck while his hand cupped her bottom pulling her more snuggle against his hardened member.

His mouth found her nipple, he gently sucked it into his mouth letting his tongue run over the harden peek, nibbling, he could not get enough.

Buffy gasped, "Angel… please" she moaned as she worked her hips back and forth. Angel had to do something or he was going to lose himself completely. He put Buffy down and turned to shut off the water. Buffy reached for him still caught in desire and not caring.

"Angel.. Please" she cried again. Angel gathered her in his arms and said.

"I know. I feel it too." Somehow they made it to the bed Buffy landed on top of Angel and her mouth and hands ran over his body. She could not get enough of him. Buffy made sure to taste each part of him body. Angel nearly jumped off the bed when he felt her tongue ran across his swollen member she worked her mouth up and down licking him. He felt the tip of his head enter her mouth. She began to work his throbbing manhood into her mouth. Buffy not sure of what she was doing but the need to taste him outweighed shyness.

Angel jerked his hips and moaned. Buffy pulled her mouth away "Did I hurt you?" she asked, worry clouding her face.

Realization hit home for Angel. '_She has never done this before'_ Angel smiled and reached for her. "No love but if you keep on doing that we are going to be in trouble." Their lips met and their tongues danced to the rhythm of their rapid breathing. Angel began to work his way down her body licking and nibbling her soft curves and hard muscles. Past her belly button, she clutched his shoulders.

"Angel I need-" she stopped and her body shook with desire.

"What my love, what do you need?" he asked blowing gently on her heated skin.

Buffy looked into his eyes. "I need to feel you inside of me." Angel climbed his way back up her body until he was settled in between her muscled thighs.

He gently kissed her lips. God, it was everything he had ever dreamed of just as he pulled back he heard.

"Angel are you up there? We need to talk." Both Buffy and Angel jumped as they fumbled for the blanket.

"Angel it's me, I have Lindsey with me." Angel swore under his breath, he turned to look at Buffy who was looking around for some clothes her face was unreadable.

Darla's voice rang out and Angel began to pull on clothes. Once dressed, he pulled out a pair of sweats and T-shirt.

"Here put these on," he said as he sat down next to her. "Are you alright?" he asked, leaning into move her hair from her eyes.

When she didn't look at him he gently lifted her chin with the crook of him finger "Buffy, please don't shut me out, not after what almost happened."

She just looked at him he could see the pain and desire still there. She tried to smile and said "Don't keep her waiting, I'll be right down."

Angle was torn. He didn't know what to do, so he stood up and made his way down stairs. Buffy slowly got up from the bed and walked into the washroom she began to pull on his clothes she used the belt from her shorts to hold the sweat pants in place. Buffy took in her appearance her checks were slightly flush her lips swollen from his kisses. She felt alive.

Gathering her courage she made her way downstairs. She could hear Darla and Angel arguing, they both stopped when she entered. Her eyes met Darla's.

"Darla," she said walking over to stand next to Angel she slipped her hand into his and smiled. Buffy would be damned if she let Darla shake her. A smile lit his face and he gripped her hand, this is a good sign he thought before he spoke.

"Lindsey this is-" Before Angel could finish, Lindsey stepped forward.

"The Slayer," Lindsey said extending his hand for a shake. Buffy liked his smile.

"It's Buffy. Would you like some coffee Lindsey?" She asked, wanting to put some distance between Darla and herself.

"Sure, why not." He followed her into the kitchen. While in there, they made small talk while Buffy poured the water into the pot she glanced into the main room to see Darla clutching Angel's arm, while he rubbed her back.

Buffy felt a wave of jealousy hit her, and Lindsey broke her thoughts. "I know it bothers me too." Buffy looked at him startled having forgotten he was there.

"What" she asked looking back to the task at hand.

"Them… seeing them together." Lindsey repeated looking over her shoulder both Angel and Darla.

Buffy smiled forcing a laugh. "Oh so I guess you know the history of Darla and Angel?" she stammered finally finding the canister of coffee and scooping the proper amount into the built-in filter.

Lindsey pulled out a chair sitting down. "More than I would like to."

Before Buffy could question him further they heard the door open and Spike's voice rang out. _"So much for 9pm"_ Angel thought to himself.

"Slayer, you had better be working!" Spike stopped short when he saw Darla in Angel's arms, and he scanned the room for Buffy.

"I take it Darla had a run in with Gaven," he asked Angel.

Angel shook his head in agreement and responded. "Just outside of Sunnydale."

Willow stepped forward clearly upset at seeing the two of them in each other's arms. "You have a lot of nerve," she said looking at both Darla and Angel.

Before Angel could answer her, she turned her back on him. Spike took Dawn's hand and asked.

"Where is the Slayer?" Just then they heard Buffy laugh.

She turned to Lindsey and said "Excuse me, in here Spike!" She called out. Turning back to Lindsey she asked, "How do you know Angel and Darla?"

Lindsey went on to explain his history with Angel and Wolfman & Heart how and why they brought Darla back. Buffy stood rooted to her spot.

"But before I knew it I was falling in love with Darla and it didn't hit me how much until I saw them making love."

Buffy dropped the full coffeepot, spilling the hot liquid all over the floor.

Spike had just made it into the kitchen to catch the last part of the conversation.

Lindsey jumped up. "Buffy are you all right?" he asked reaching for a dishtowel.

Lindsey noticing Spike said, "Watch your step."

Spike moved in a daze all he saw was the hurt reflected in the slayer's eyes. Buffy was like stone.

"You saw them make love?" she asked Lindsey, flashes of her and Angle in the shower danced before her eyes. _I am such a fool,_ she thought before her mind shut down.

He took in her appearance and it hit him. "Oh God, I thought you knew!" he said quickly, feeling instant regret at the pain on the slayer's face.

Buffy walked to main room flanked my Spike and Lindsey. Dawn saw her first and noticed her standing in the doorway like stone.

"Buffy!" she called out as all eyes turned on her.

Angel took a step forward but she held up her hand to stop him.

"When?" she whispered. Angel looked confused until he looked into her eyes and saw the hurt and betrayal that rested there.

Lindsey stepped forward. "I'm sorry I thought she knew about you and Darla, we were taking…" he trailed off.

"WHEN!" she yelled again causing everyone to jump, her attention on Angel.

Thanks to all of you that have reviewed. You motivate me with your words…. Keep them coming


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N I would like to send out a Special thanks to Amanda. Your help is greatly appreciated. You have made the story much better. Thank you!**_

Disclaimer: I own nothing, Gaven is my creation.

Chapter 7

Angel stood rooted to the floor. Unsure how to react he softly said, "Buffy I was going to tell you."

A burning rage filled the petite slayer, and all of the emotions she had been keeping locked away over loaded her system. Every time she let him close he hurt her. She picked up the lamp and threw it against the wall, shaking now as she fought a losing battle for control.

As Spike took a step forward, he could feel the anger and hurt flowing from her body. S_he is going to blow,_ he thought to himself. Before Angel could react Darla stepped out in front of him a sly smile curved her mouth and she said.

"Why would you care? You weren't together." Buffy turned her gaze to the woman. _This thing, why did she hold so much power over Angel? What did she have that I was never to posses?_

These thoughts ran through her mind as she took a step toward her. Darla continued to walk towards Buffy. "I think your question should be for how long did we make love, because it was done more then once. Or perhaps, what part of his body didn't my tongue lick or mouth suck."

Angel took a menacing step towards her, as Darla went for blood "Come on Angel, tell her how you screamed my name with passion." She turned her eyes back to Buffy who was trembling. "It was my body that made him forget who he was, it was ME he desired." she was standing in front of her know. "It was my name he cried when he came, not yours," Darla spat.

Angel he could not move. He could not take his eyes from Buffy. Buffy's eyes turned to stone as her fist connected with Darla's face with a sickening crack. The blond sailed threw the air until she connected with the back wall.

Spike grabbed her around the arms. "Buffy!" he shouted. Feeling nothing but pain in her heart and anger in her blood, Buffy welcomed the rage building inside her.

"Let me go Spike!" she cried struggling against his arms. He released her spinning her around to face him. "Or what? You're going to hit me too?" he asked.

Buffy turned to look at Spike with eyes filled with rage. "I have to get out of here." She pushed him out of her way and ran for the door. She saw Angel move with her. "No!" she practically screamed, pointing a finger at him. "No! I can't believe I almost made love to you."

Angel didn't stop, instead he blocked the door. "Move out of the way, Angel," she whispered. Everyone in the room took a step back, but Angel didn't take his eyes off his slayer.

Suddenly Willow's voice filled his thoughts. "_This is it Angel if you let her go now it is over._" Angel nodded his head to show that he understood and stood his ground.

"No Buffy, we deal with this now," he said bracing himself.

"Get.out.of.my.way, Angel" she gritted once more in a deadly voice. It was at that moment Angel pushed past all limits. It was do or die.

"You want to hear the truth? Yes, I slept with Darla, and yes it was sex. Is that what you want to hear?" He spoke calmly, watching her body tighten as she prepared for a fight.

As Buffy began to shake, Spike reached for Dawn and pulled her close him. He softly whispered, "Here we go luv." Dawn buried her face in his chest.

Buffy let out a scream that seemed to come from the depths of her tortured soul. She was lost in her grief as she began to unleash four years of pain, hurt, betrayal and loss. Angel had just enough time to block her fist, but she was too quick with the other. Her fist connected with his face and was followed by a kick to the stomach.

"Is this what you want?" she yelled as she came at him again. This time Angel was ready and managed to block her punches. Her style of fighting had changed so it was difficult to counter strike.

Lindsey looked at Willow and said, "Should we not try and help him?"

Willow didn't take her eyes off her friend. "Go right head!" Lindsey watched as Buffy lifted Angle off his feet in a hip toss, sending him crashing into the wall unit that stood there. Buffy was on top of him in a flash, her fist flying in fury.

"Does that hurt Angel?" She heard him grunt, and she continued to ramble lost in her madness. "Good, because it is nothing compare to the hell you put me through!"

Angel felt his eyes begin to change as his temper began to rise. He grabbed Buffy's shoulders and he tossed her onto her back on the floor. He was on his feet in an instant. Buffy threw herself into a back flip, kicking her legs out her feet to catch Angel in the face and send him flying. Spike clutched Dawn as he watched his friend fight with such rage and pain.

Buffy pulled Angel to his feet. "Did you hate me so much that you felt you had to destroy me? You ruined me for any other man's touch; for happiness." They fought their way into the center of the room, Angel fighting hard now.

"I did what I thought was best," he shouted back. He knocked Buffy off balance with a kick to the stomach. She sprang back into her fighting stance.

"Oh yeah," she laughed madly, "I forgot you wanted no part of the freak show. Instead you ran away, like you always do and left me all alone. Where were you when I needed you?" As she attacked Angel once more, he could barely remain on his feet with her rage fueling her strength. "I'll tell you where." Her voice was now raw from shouting. "You were too busy helping everyone else."

Angel took in her appearance. The blonde slayer was covered in sweat and her face was flushed. Her chest heaved as the emotions rolled off of her. "All I ever needed was you, and you never wanted me. You took it all away. Your love, your friendship, all of it!" Angel wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and hold her.

"Buffy it had to be that way." He ducked a flying fist and blocked a left leg kick. He kept pushing her, for they needed to deal with her anger and move on.

"Really." She laughed, "So Faith was something you had to do? Darla was something you had to do?" Buffy kicked out with her leg. Angel grabbed her ankle and tossed her into the air. She landed on both feet and punched him in the face, and received a returning blow.

Buffy recoiled when she felt pain she brought her hand up to her eyes and felt the cut, looking at the blood on her figures. Angel seeing that he had hurt her stopped cold. "Buffy" he gasped. Buffy looked him in the eye and brought her fists up.

"My turn" she said advancing on him hard moving with speed and grace. Angel was forced to back up as he blocked her attack going on the defense.

"Stop! Please stop!" Angel turned to see Dawn crying hysterically. Buffy never taking her eyes from Angel said, "Spike, take her home."

Buffy fist caught Angel's face as he was turning to look back at her. He crashed to the floor, blood flowing from his check just below his eye. She tilted her head and lifted her right eyebrow.

"You asked for this." Angel stood up his eyes aglow. He brought his hand up to wipe at the flowing cut.

"You want to hurt me, go ahead!" he shouted. When she held her ground he continued, "I did what I thought was best Buffy! Everything I have ever done has been done out of my love for you!" This seemed to anger her more and she came at him. He blocked her kick but felt her fist. His own fist connected with her chest and she seemed to absorb the pain.

Angel could hear Dawn sobbing in the background. "Spike, please make them stop! They're killing each other." Spike held Dawn with one arm and Willow with the other, the red head crying silent tears for her hurting friend.

"You only thought of yourself! I was an after thought, a fling easily forgotten." She had to wipe her eye as the blood was still flowing. "You don't know what love is!" she screamed as they circled each other.

"Buffy, it was my job to help people." That was the final toss for Buffy, who yelled her voice high full of emotion.

"Yes!" She screamed as she slammed him into the wall. "You helped people who hurt me. Like Faith, after all she had done to me, you still helped her." Spike took a step forward as he saw his friend begin to crumble, but Willow held him back.

Tears clouded Buffy's eyes. "She stole my body, my life… she slept with my boyfriend." Tears began to flow; everyone was rooted to their spot. "And no one knew she was walking around in my body. She would still be here if it weren't for Spike and Giles. It should have been you!" she screamed. As her fist hit his chest, Angel hung his head, her sobs ripping at his heart.

"I didn't know," he said. Buffy laughed walking away from him and wiping her face.

"Because you didn't want to. You just left disappeared from my life. When I came to you to warn you and saw her there, I tried to tell you but you kicked me out, you hit me!" She screamed as her fist connected with his stomach "YOU defended her" she lashed out hitting him again.

"Thanksgiving, you where human, everything I have every wanted, but you took it all way, because you felt you needed to!" she cried, sobs raking through her body. She had to place her hand against the table to hold herself up. "How could you hurt me that way? To exclude me from that kind of discussion? At least I would have died happy."

Angel looked into her eyes. "Buffy, I-" she turned on him. "I know Angel, you did what you thought was best. Do you know how many times I needed you? How many times my soul called out for yours?" He took a step towards her, but she lashed out.

"Stay away form me!" she screeched as she punched the table breaking the skin on her knuckles. "I had to bury my mother! Oh God, my 40 year old mother!" she cried as she fell to her knees. "I found her lying there cold and purple." Buffy was lost in her grief memories flashing before her eyes. "I tried to give her CPR, but it was too late she was already gone." On instinct she began to look for Spike when their eyes met. "I broke her ribs, I crushed her. I felt them break under my hands," she cried as she looked at her bleeding fingers.

Spike took a step towards her but stopped when Angel said, "No Spike." Angel moved closer to Buffy. Spike buried his face in Willow's neck to hide his own tears.

"I needed you so much. I even called you, but your girlfriend answered." She sobbed, "I died Angel, all alone and you never came to see me. When I was trapped in Hell, I waited for you to come and get me, but you never did. You left me there to burn. Look what they did to me!" she screamed ripping his shirt from her body showing him the jagged scars that ran across her lower back to thighs that where still hidden by his sweat pants.

She began to laugh uncontrollably as she adjusted her bra strap. "I guess that is pay back right?" Angel let her rant; he could not form any words. "And the cream on the cake is that you're finally human, what we always wanted, and you tell everyone but me. WHY?" she screamed. "Do I repulse you that much?" Angel noticed the thin scars that ran across her lower stomach. She had to stop because the tears where coming hard now. "How could you sleep with Darla? I could have understood anyone but Darla." She stopped talking and walked up to him; great big sob's shaking her tiny frame.

She looked into his eyes. "Why do you hate me so much?" She pounded his chest. Angel raised his arms to embrace her. Buffy not ready to be touched yet, lashed out again, her fist shot out. "I hate you for what you did to me! For making me feel this way!" she cried. "For making me feel like there was something wrong with me, that no one could love me. I hate you!" Angel ducked her punch, forgetting the window behind him.

He heard the glass break, and Buffy cry out in pain. Spike and Willow watched in horror as they saw Buffy's fist go right through the window. She pulled her arm out, with a jagged piece of glass stuck in her forearm and blood flowing free. Angel grabbed her from behind closing his arms around hers.

"Let me go, don't touch me!" she cried hysterically trying to break his hold on her. "Let me go! I can't do this anymore! Why did you come back?"

Angel tried to get a hold of her arm, but she fought him like a wild cat. "Buffy!" he cried struggling.

"Please, God let me go! I can't be here, your killing me!" Buffy cried hysterically fighting like a crazed person.

Angel lost his balance and they both fell to the ground. "Don't touch me!" she screamed, "I will never let you hurt me again!" Buffy got to her feet having broken free. Before she could take a step, Angel grabbed her. She was frantic as his arms locked around her again; She tried pushing him away, kicking out with her feet. "You sleep with me and lose your soul. You sleep with Darla and become human."

Angel finally got a hold of her arm. She continued to wither in his arms, like his touch caused physical pain. He had to shake her "God damn it, Buffy! You're going to bleed to death."

With those words she stopped struggling crying quietly. "Why'd you come back? I don't need…" He felt her body go slack as the fight went out of her. He cradled her to his chest, as great sobs ripped free from her chest causing her whole body to shake "I can't let myself need you. I can't let you back in."

He sat there for a moment and thanked the PTB it was finally over. Buffy cried for all she had been through; her mother, her life, and all the loss she had suffered. She was safe; she knew she was in Angel's arms.

"Slayer," she heard Spike call out, "let me see your arm." Buffy could not move, she had no strength left. Angel lifted her and carried her to his bedroom, and placed her on the bed. Spike and Willow followed. Willow grabbed towels and looked at her best friend's arm and forehead.

"Spike, she needs to be stitched up. We have to get that chunk of glass out of her arm and we should to take her to the hospital"

Buffy shook her head tiredly. All she wanted to do was sleep. "Giles," she whispered before closing her eyes. Angel looked down at his beloved.

"Its over," he said to himself more than anyone else. Spike stood up and said, "You did a fine job mate. I was worried there for a minute." Angel smiled and said. "I think I need to lie down."

Willow called out to Dawn who ran into the room. "I need your help in here, Dawnie." Willow took in the girl's blood shot eyes.

"Take a look at Angel and see if he needs to go to the hospital," was all she said as she tossed her a first aid kit Spike had passed her.

Angel felt Dawn sit next to him and he opened his eyes. "How ya doing Dawnie?" he asked. She gave him a watery smile. "Oh Angel, I was so scared," she said her face crumpled as she laid it in his chest. "I thought you two were going to kill each other," she cried.

Angel rubbed her back gently. "Shh, it's over now." Dawn pulled herself together. Raising her head from his chest she said, "I have never seen her that way before. How did she do it? I mean hold it all in for so long without going crazy?"

Angel looked at Buffy, his arms aching to feel her. "I don't know Dawn, but it is over. The healing can finally begin." He watched Willow and Spike work on Buffy's injuries. The petite blonde slept through it all, her body shuddering every so often.

Suddenly the door opened and Giles walked in. "I came as soon as I heard," he stated, looked down at his slayer. "Let's get her cleaned up. I brought her some fresh clothes." Giles took care of her arm. He was certain no main arteries were damaged, though it took a total of 37 stitches to sew the wound closed.

Everyone left the room while Willow and Dawn changed her clothing. Buffy slept through it all, her soul and heart free.

Giles had Angel sit while he stitched him up. "How do you feel?" he asked. Looking at him he could see the bruises already showing up on his neck and chest.

Angel groaned and said, "Like I got hit by a train. Giles, what am I going to do? How do you recover from something like this? I never thought I would see hatred in her eyes when it came to me. Giles, I'll never forget the way she looked at me."

Willow walked into the main room to find Spike fixing the furniture. "How are you?" she asked. He just looked at her.

"How could we have let this go on so long? She was hurting so much and we did nothing." Spike sat down on the couch.

Giles hearing this said walked into the hall. "Spike, it had to happen this way, you know that. I am glad I missed it though, judging by the looks of this place, and Angel." He chuckled, "it was quite a fight."

Angel smiled. "When did she change her style of fighting?" Giles shook his head with a shrug of his shoulders and answered, "It just happened. She got stronger and began trying different fighting methods."

Angel stood up and said, "I need to lie down." He walked out of the room. Lindsey chose that moment to walk back inside having taken Darla out to the car.

"Is Buffy all right?" he asked. Willow smiled "She will be fine, and you are?" Lindsey looked uncomfortable "I'm Darla's fiancé" Spike stood up and said, "Poor, poor you." Willow and Lindsey talked for a few moments and then Spike sent him on his way. He was going to take Darla to the hospital.

Spike turned to Willow. "I am going to check on Buffy." He made his way up to Angel's room and opened the door. He saw Angel lean down and kiss Buffy gently on the lips. He cleared his throat not wanting to intrude.

"It's ok Spike, I'll be in the other room." He waited until Angel had left and sat next to his friend. Her face was wet from tears that continued to fall. He gently wiped her face, and she opened her eyes. "Morning luv" he said.

Buffy reached out and embraced him. He held her as great sobs shook her body, gently rocking her. Soon she was fast asleep once again. Giles came into the room an hour later and found Buffy in Spike's arms sleeping.

He smiled and said, "You're off duty now." Spiked smiled as he worked his way out from under Buffy's head. Giles waited until Spike had closed the door before he gently eased his frame on to the bed taking her in his arms. He gently stroked her hair and whispered.

"I am sorry I wasn't here for you." Giles didn't know how long he had been holding Buffy when he felt her stir.

"How do you feel?" He asked Buffy sat up. Her head was pounding and her stomach uneasy.

"I've been better," she said touching her head. "Lovely," she muttered, feeling the bandage. Giles remained silent. "So I guess you heard about my melt down? Oh Giles!" she moaned as tears flooded her eyes "I said horrible things." Giles open his arms, Buffy settled against him. "Giles what am I going to do?"

He smiled. "Buffy what happened was a good thing. You will continue on with life, but with less baggage." Buffy sat up to look at Giles.

"I love you, you know that right," she asked the uncertainty showing in her puffy eyes, he smiled and said "Of course."

"Where is Angel?" she asked suddenly Giles hid his smile "He doesn't hate you Buffy, he never did, he made some wrong choices, all he wanted to do was keep you safe."

Buffy stood up and walked around the room "Giles I felt…I felt and said things that I didn't even know were inside me."

Giles stood up and said, "Love is funny that way" Buffy looked at Giles and said "But does he love me" he made his way to the door but stopped before he pulled open the door and said. "I am not the right person to ask, but he is in the next room."

She followed Giles out the door and slowly made her way to the room that Angel was in. Her body was so heavy it seemed to groan with each step she took.

Gently she knocked hearing no response so she gently opened the door. The room was dark, Buffy let her eyes adjust.

"Angel" she whispered into the dark room as she walked towards the bed.

"How are you feeling?" Angel asked from the darkness. Buffy spun around her breath caught in her throat, as her eyes took in his bare chest taking in the bruising from her many hits.

"Fine, just fine" she stammered "and you?" she asked not able to tear her eyes away from the damage she had caused to his body.

Angel stood up and walked towards her, she noticed the stitching tape on his cheekbone, the only light coming from the washroom. He stopped just before her.

"How is your arm?" Buffy suddenly very nervous, smiled and said holding it up for him to see the bandage, "Giles fixed it".

Angel stepped around her and made his way to the bed and stretched out, "I'm sorry" she whispered. Angel knew he had to give her time to adjust so he offered.

"Sorry for being honest or for beating me up?" he asked. Buffy had to swallow the lump in her throat as tears flooded her eyes. When she didn't answer he sat up and said, "Come here, Please" Buffy couldn't move, her legs were stuck to the floor "Buffy" he repeated.

Buffy hung her head "Angel" she cried as she hung her head. He stood up and closed the distance between them.

"Hey, come here" he said pulling her into his arms. With his arms around her Buffy let her tears fall. She cried for all the time lost the pain that only they could cause each other. She wrapping her arms around his neck drawing him close.

"I couldn't control myself," she cried. "It was like I was watching myself and couldn't stop", Angel let her cry; he was not surprise to feel his tears mingle with hers. Knowing he was the one of the major reasons for all her pain and anger.

"Can you forgive me" she hiccupped. Angel pulled her back to star at her face, the cut about her eye that he had done was slightly swollen.

"There is nothing to forgive Buffy we did a lot of things wrong with each other. The questions is can we lay the past to rest and move forward' he said gently wiping the tears from her face.

"We have some things to discuss. I think we can do that later we need time to reflect and process all that has happened tonight," he said, "let's go and get so food." Angel did not want to push, Buffy had just worked through years of pent up emotion and pain. He wanted her spirit to be calm before they discussed anything.

With those words he released Buffy and reached for a shirt. Together they made their way down the stairs. Spike had just finished clean up the kitchen; Willow the living room Dawn was scrubbing the floor where Buffy had been bleeding.

They all stopped when they saw them in the doorway. "Morning luv" Spike said smiling. Buffy sighed loudly "Is that all you know how to say?"

Spike laughed happy to see some of her old grit "It is when you have been slaving like I have, cleaning YOUR mess" he sat down and pulled out a smoke. "Listen love next time you need a therapy session, let me know so we can hire someone to come in."

Buffy heart filled with love for her friend "Yep will do," she said as she walked over to Willow. The two friends silently looked at each other, Angel could almost hear their exchange of thoughts. The two hugged.

Everyone fell silent again "Okay I am hungry," Buffy said as the silence began to choke her. She moved away from Willow to the kitchen.

"I brought you both dinner" Dawn said. Buffy looked at her sister and smiled, she did not miss the way Spike watched her sister.

"Thanks Dawn" The both of them ate in silence while the other continued to work. Xander showed up late as usual and with out Anya. He walked in and took in the mess.

"Ok what demon got in here?" he asked. Buffy was just coming out to the kitchen and she noticed Willow talking with Xander.

Angel walked past Buffy into the other room. She took a moment to prepare herself. And then followed suite. Just before they were to begin Xander made his way over and gave her a hug.

"Nice to have ya back Bufster" She smiled returning his hug.

"You missed all the fireworks". Buffy laughed once they released each other.

Giles walked into the main room where they all stood but Angel. "I know you have been through a lot but we need to research, I have no reference to this Gaven in any of my books." He said looking at Buffy who smiled.

"Ok Giles I think we all need a little research to get us all focused. She placed her hand on his arm and gave a squeeze. He pulled her aside as the other walked into the kitchen to load up with Chips and Soda.

"Are you sure you are up for this Buffy" he asked worry clearly reflected in his eyes.

"More then you will ever know" she smiled. Buffy need to feel safe, she felt raw being with everyone would help that.

About 20 minutes into the meeting the phone rang. Everyone was comfortable working a gentle chatter filled the air. Spike reached for Angels phone.

"Poofs residence" he laughed causing Angel to reached for the phone "Gimme that" Angel said pretending to smack the back of Spike's head.

Every one laughed, Buffy was starring at his face she suddenly shush everyone. Her instincts told her something is wrong.

She looked at Spike "Is that Cordy?" Spike shook his head reaching for a chip.

"No some guy I think he said his named was Lesley" Buffy lost color in her face. "Lindsey" Buffy offered.

Spike realizing what he said he mentally kicked himself he watched Buffy excused herself and left the room. Willow stood up shaking her head to Spike "I will go" she said and followed Buffy out of the room.

"Buffy" she called out as she walked into the garden looking for her friend. She saw her standing in front of the rose bush.

"Over here Will." Buffy called out not looking at her friend.

"What happened in their Buffy?" Willow asked as she took Buffy's hand and led her to the bench to sit.

"It's her Willow, he is going to go to her, after everything that has happened he is going to her" she whispered fighting off the emotions that clogged her throat.

"You don't know that" Willow said wrapping her arm around her friend. Buffy stood up and said.

"Yes I do," she said "I feel so" she stopped. Buffy began to pace looking up at the dark sky.

"You feel so what Buffy? A good thing happened here today, let's not make the same mistake twice" Willow said coming to stand before her friend.

Buffy looked at her friend tears in her eyes "Alone and Scared" Before Willow could answer, Buffy heard Angel calling out to her.

"Buffy are you out here?" Willow answered " Right here Angel" Angel walked over to them "Buffy" he called out again.

"Yes Angel" Angel waited for her to turn around when she didn't he asked "Are you going to turn around or do I talk to your back?" Buffy took a deep breath and turned to look at the man she loved.

He took in her tear stained face and her sad eyes " Buffy" he started Buffy shook her head holding up her hand saying.

"Give my best to Lindsey" she said and walked into the house. He grabbed her by the arm to stop her.

"Buffy let me explain," he said wanting her to understand.

She smiled and said, "There is nothing to explain Darla needs you, so go". Angel felt trapped, Buffy gently pulling her arm free to make her way inside. Angel made chase.

"Buffy stop running away form me" he called out. Before Buffy new it she had turned to face him and said.

"I am not running away, that is your M.O. not mine." Buffy took in his angered look and instantly wished she had not spoken. "I am sorry, that was uncalled for" she said " Listen Angel you do what you have to do.

He looked at her and said, "I won't take long" and walked out of the front door. Buffy tried to blink the tears away as she joined the others.

**_A/N I would like to thank all of you that reviewed! Please keep them coming._**

**Lessthanangelic1** – Your review had me smiling for days. I will keep what you posted in mind as I work on the next chapters..

**Carolina17** – Sorry if I disappointed you, it does get better for B/A the road is just a little bumpy.

**MsHellfire2005** – Glad you like the chapter. Trust me there is a plan behind all the Buffy abuse. Please keep reading.

**Buffstuff500 **– I am soo happy you "LOVE" my story. I will do my very best to keep you coming back for more.

**Pinkyblue**- Thank you, I hope chapter 7 meets your approval


	8. Chapter 8

A/N I just wanted to apologize for the delay, my beta reader Amanda has been swamped and soooo busy. Please excuse any errors you may find. I hope you like it.

Chapter 8

Giles and Willow were discussing a protection spell something similar to what was used on Glory. Buffy let them all talk; she found her mind drifting back over her life. She was lucky to have her friends and Giles. She let her mind focus on Angle.

_I know I would never be first; does he love and need me as much as I need him? _Buffy thought to herself. She stood up and made her way back to the garden_. I don't know if I could love anyone else, hell I tried and look what I did to poor Riley. _Buffy sighed as she walked along the lane.

"So you're the infamous slayer" Buffy whirled around and saw the most gorgeous man she had laid her eyes upon. He was at least 6'2 board shoulders, and jet-black hair that hung to his shoulders. His face was perfectly sculpted, from his almond shaped eyes to his wide chiseled mouth and sharp chin.

"You must be Gaven, I've heard a lot about you," she said as she relaxed her body. "Are you here alone or is crazy Dru with you?" Buffy asked looking over her shoulder.

He chuckled as he walked over to the rose bush "No. No I left Dru at home for this trip. Your reputation precedes you. Such a feared warrior in such a small beautiful body" he said letting his eyes travel over her body. "William he is here? Why don't you just give me what I want and we'll call it even" he said as he plucked a rose smelling it briefly before handed it to her.

Buffy smiled and said, "I have a better idea why don't you just leave and I won't have to kill you" Buffy could feel the power of this man it hung like an aura around him. Gaven came to stand right in front of her. Just them Giles called out to her.

"Buffy are you out here?" Buffy felt fear grip her heart she answered with out taking her eyes off of the vampire in front of her.

"Giles, I'm over here. We seem to have company" Giles went to shake hands with the man who stood before Buffy. He was stopped when Buffy held up her arm not letting him pass.

"Giles please meet Gaven" Buffy said with a smile her eye's never leaving her opponent. Giles took a step back "Giles what you were just working on with Willow have you figured it out?"

Giles stammered "Y..Yes" Buffy put her hand on Gaven's chest and moving him back so Giles could pass. Gaven stepped back to watch the older man enter the mansion.

"You are very brave slayer; to put your hands on me, do you know what happened to the last person who touched me with out permission?" He spoke softly his eyes bore into her; his words seem to caress her face and body.

Buffy shrugged and said, "I have a feeling we understand each other."

Just then Spike came running out, "Buffy" he stopped when he saw Gaven, inches from Buffy.

"William the man of the hour has arrived" he said clasping his hand to his chest "I was just getting know the Slayer here."

"If you have so much touched a hair on her head," Spike said as he slipped into game face. Buffy rushed forward putting herself between the two.

"Spike go back inside" she said pushing against his chest. Both Willow and Xander grasped his arms to hold him. Gaven stopped when he reached Buffy, he brought his head in close she could feel his unneeded breath fan her checks. Buffy thought he was going to kiss her.

"Until we meet again love" he slowly turned and called over his shoulder. "William, you will die, as well as your friends". He turned one last time "Slayer, please let Angelus know that I was sorry I missed him, but then again he's with Darla, doing God knows what. William be a good little boy and don't get your friends killed."

Buffy felt like she had been kicked in the stomach she watched him go he was calling Spike out. The unspoken challenge hung in the air. Dawn reached out for Buffy's hand.

"Are you ok?" she asked causing Buffy to snapped out of her daze. It took her a moment to focus on her sister and say.

"I'm fine" she walked into the house with Dawn following Spike and Willow "I don't know about you guys but I am going home. Willow can I talk to you for a minute" Buffy said pulling the red head into the kitchen.

"I want you and Spike to stay with me at the house, if this freak is gunning for Spike I want him close" Willow shook her head in agreement.

"Buffy you will have to tell him" Willow said looking at her friend. She reached out and took her hand. This was the cream on the cake first her mental breakdown with Angel. Then Angel running to Darla and then Gaven making his presence known.

"Sure thing" Buffy said straightening her shoulders. Preparing herself for what was to come. Giles was waiting in the main hall; he pushed away from the wall seeing Buffy enter the room.

"I think Angel is under the impression that we are staying here tonight" Giles offered, Dawn nodded her head in agreement.

"He said that he would be back" Buffy only listened with half and ear her eyes scanned the room for Spike; he was nowhere to be seen. "Where is Spike?" she asked, fear gripped Willows heart.

"Oh my God Buffy" she chanted over and over. A million thoughts ran through her head. Xander pulled his friend to him offering her comfort.

"Shhh, he's probably just outside have a smoke" Buffy walked out just to came back inside "No sign of him, Giles did you bring your car?" The slayer asked taking control of the situation.

He nodded his head before saying "I just brought to up front" he stood waiting for Buffy's direction. "Xander, you take Willow and Dawn back to your place. Or mine what ever you want" Xander passed Willow to Dawn.

"What about you" Xander asked worried for her. If this had been a normal night he would not have voiced his fear. But Buffy looked dead on her feet and her body healing.

Buffy just smiled reaching to take Giles keys she needed to get into the trunk. "I am going to look for Spike." Xander shook his head and said, "But Buffy your arm, your in no shape."

Buffy cut him off "Xander I am ok if Spike is out there in trouble I have to find him, please keep them safe, and I will see you later." That is all he got before she walked out of the room. Giles followed her out to the car and watched her opened the trunk.

"I am going with you," he said passing her a pair of leggings. Buffy shook her head as she accepted the leggings. Buffy gazed up the night sky the moon was still raising.

"No you're not," she said as she dropped her joggers and stepped into her tights _sorry Giles no time for modesty_. Her inner voice sang.

"Buffy, Xander is right, your in no shape" Buffy was pulling out weapons and stowing them away. She just shook her head cutting him off gently to ask.

"Do you have mic on you or are they all at the house" Giles reached into the glove box and pulled out the earpiece. Buffy made one finally swept of her gear "Giles I will check in with you in about 30min and let you know what is going down. Once you get to the house have Willow do that protection spell on it." And will those words she ran off in to the night.

Giles watched her go; Xander came out with Willow and Dawn. His eyes searching for his friend, "She's gone right?" he asked.

Giles turned to Xander "I will take these two back with me, Buffy will check in with me in about 30 minutes. Get to the hospital and get Angel she may need back up."

Xander gave a quick nod and took off, he made it to the hospital in record time, he had to stop and ask for help when it hit him what is Darla's last name. So he walked the halls looking for Angel. He found him holding a sobbing Darla whose face was swollen and bruised on one side.

Xander smiled in spite of himself _One point for the Bufster_ he thought as he got closer, he heard Darla wail "look what she did to me" Angel looked annoyed. Lindsey was the one to respond.

"You asked for it what you did was mean and cruel, you're lucky she didn't break your neck." Xander entered the room his eyes on Angel.

"Sorry to break up this cozy little get together, but Angle the woman you say you love might need your help, so if your not too busy." He said with a wave toward Darla. Angel let go of Darla and said.

"Cut the sarcasm Harris" this caused Xander to get angry "Why does the truth hurt. We had a run in with Gaven tonight, or let me rephrase that, Buffy had a run in with Gaven."

Angel went pale "Is she alright?" he asked Xander shrugged his shoulders and only offered a short, "Don't know."

Angel grabbed him and said, "What the hell is that suppose to mean?" Xander looked at Angel and then back to Darla "After the little meeting with Gaven, he threaten he would kill us all, well to make a long story short, Spike is gone and she went looking for him alone" Xander made sure to emphasize the ALONE part. Angel walked back to Lindsey.

"I have to go, you both can stay at my place once your done here," he said handing him a set of keys. He turned back to Xander he could see the contempt in his eyes. They both got in to the car Xander could no longer hold himself and said as he started the car.

"You know something, after everything that happened tonight, to think that you would want to be with Buffy and help her deal with what happened but no you rather help poor Darla". Angel didn't say a thing just looked out the window "Oh I forgot Buffy is the strong one, she'll understand" Xander swore under his breath.

"Are you finished" Angel asked, he was ashamed because he knew Xander was right. Once back at the house he ran into the house. He found Giles in the study "Where is she?" he asked.

Giles looked at him, he could see the older man was worried "I don't know we still have a few minutes before she checks in". Angel began to pace not watching were he was going he walked right into Dawn.

"Hey squirt," he said. Dawn just looked at him and turned to walk away "Hey" he said following her.

"This is your fault," she said as tears rushed down her checks. "If you had been there Spike would not have gone after him, he would be safe here with Buffy and me" she fell to the floor crying loudly.

"Dawn it will be ok" he said trying to comfort the girl. She shook her head and said "No, you weren't there he said, Spike would get us killed, he new Gaven liked Buffy so he went after him"

Angel was shocked "Dawn I will find them" he said and made his way to Giles. "Giles give me a Mic I am going out, when she checks in patch her threw to me" With in 2 minutes he was out the door.

Spike had left a pretty good trail for her to follow, Buffy was circling the house trying to find a way in she had already dusted the guards out front "Giles, I found Spike, he's in the old mill just outside of town, do you copy" she asked.

Giles nearly jumped out of his chair "Buffy Angel is on his way to you" Buffy whispered her reply "He's too late I need to get in there now I have" Buffy stopped. " Angel can you hear me?" she asked and she moved toward the tree that would get her in the window.

"Loud and clear" was his response "I have already taken care of the guards. I'll be going in threw the south side," she told him as she scaled the tree.

"Buffy you should wait for me, I am almost there," he said as he turned onto Old Mill Road.

"No can do. I have to get in before they notice the Guards are not at their posts" her next statement was for Giles "I won't be responding from this point on, you'll hear if I am in trouble" Buffy pulled the window out of the frame. She eased herself into the room, stopping to listen she heard noise coming from the other room.

Buffy new she had to get a clear shot of the room to assess her chances of getting out with Spike she noticed the beams that ran across the ceiling. She was able to hoist herself up; the pain in her arm grew with each movement she made.

Angel pulled up a distance away form the mill "Giles, I am just down the road. If something should happen let Buffy know that the car is here, so she can get out."

Giles voice came threw clear "Angel she has gone in stay in the shadows unless you are needed. There is no need to blow her cover" Angel made his way threw the trees.

"Sure thing" was he response. Buffy worked her body across the beans to where she was just over the sectional way. What she saw stunned her. There was Dru tied to the wall with dolls head stuck in her mouth. Spiked laid at her feet, Buffy took in Gaven he stood over Spike.

"What do you have to say for your self Spike?" he punctuated each word with a fist to the back of Spike body. Buffy could read the hatred in Spike's eyes as he looked at Gaven.

Spike smiled "Its hard to beat up on someone when they can't move" Gaven responded with a fist to his face.

"Spike" he laughed "but this is so much fun, I am going to make you suffered, the way I did" Gaven spat reaching for the knife that sat in fire heating. Spike closed his eyes when he saw Gaven reach for the glowing blade.

Buffy nearly fell off the beam when she saw the glowing blade; what ever she was going to do she had better do it know. She carefully unwrapped her legs from the beam and gently began to lower her self. Dru catching the movement of the slayer became frantic she began to struggle and groan. Buffy's eyes were glued to Gaven as he pressed the blade tip to Spikes exposed chest; the sizzling sound filled the room.

Buffy began to work herself across the room using the beams the way a child would swing on the monkey bars. The burning in Buffy's arm grow whenever she held her weight on it she could feel the stitched pull.

Dru was thrashing around in her restrained; Gaven made his way over to her. Taking a hand full of her hair he thrusted her head back. "Dru, if you don't stop your whimpering. I will cut off tongue and feed it to the dogs, do you understand" he whispered as his hand traveled to her breast, gently squeezing as he looked into her eyes.

Spike had seen Buffy as soon as she had entered the room. He could see her arm was giving her trouble. She was alone, _damn you Angel_ he thought to himself.

"Know what other games shall we play Spiky" Gaven asked reaching for a bottle of Holy Water. He untwisted the cap carefully not wanting to burn himself. Buffy swung out her legs as she let go of the beam, the bottle was knocked out of Gaven's hands as her feet collided with his back. Dru screeched in pain as a few droplets hit her face and neck.

Buffy landed and rolled with the impact. Giles and Angel heard the commotion "Slayer so nice for you to join the party" Gaven said pulling himself to his feet.

"Let me guess, my invite go lost in the mail" she said as she flipped her hair. Her eyes scanning the room, Gaven let his eyes run over her body.

"I was hoping to have a more private party" he took a step towards her "Just the two of us." Buffy smiled sweetly.

"You know my mother told me never to date vampires" Buffy responded with half smile. Gaven smiled and sat down at the table. He enjoyed watching her. We would enjoy it even more when he broke her spirit.

"Buffy stop the chit chat and get the hell out of there" Angel said. Buffy made her way to Spike but stopped to look at Dru still tied down "Dru I have never seen you look better" Buffy reached for Spike.

"I won't let you take him" Buffy looked up at Gaven who still sat at the table.

"Really" she said reaching for Spike, who did not budge. Buffy pulling on his arms he was dead weight frozen.

"I can't move Buffy" Spike gasped as she tugged on his body. Buffy heard Giles say something to Willow.

"Buffy it's Willow, the spell he is using is a binding spell once Spike is away from him, it will lose all effect, you have to get him out and away from Gaven" Willow said to her.

Buffy nodded her head "ok I get ya" she was speaking to Willow but Gaven did not know this and stood up smiling.

"You can have me," Gaven answered thinking Buffy had spoken to him. He placed his hands on the table and leaned forward.

"Buffy, I am coming in" Angel said he had, had his full of Gaven making a play for his slayer "_is she still yours"_ that little voice asked.

Buffy looked around the room for a way out, "No thank you I can handle it" she muttered to Angel.

Gaven stood up and walked towards the Slayer "You haven't even seen it yet to know if you can handle it" he said reaching for his pants. Buffy walked away from him and away from Spike.

She heard Angle asking "Is he getting naked, god damn it Buffy answer me". Angel yelled into her ear.

She positioned herself between the two vampires. "Gaven, may I call you Gaven," she said smiling she need to have his full attention. He walked away from Spike and towards her; he was an arms length away when she flew into action. She jumped into a powerful spin kick catching Gaven in the chin sending him flying across the table; Buffy grabbed the candle rack and threw it at the table, the cloth on the table burst into flames.

Soon there was a wall of flames between Buffy and Gaven. "Angle get ready we are coming out" she yelled breaking out into a run towards Spike. She placed her arms under his and hoisted him into the air over her shoulder.

The flames quickly spread eating at the room "Buffy behind you " Spike screamed, she turned it just enough time to catch the wooden stake that was flying threw the air at them. Her hand stung when the wood smacked against the flesh of her hand. The next thing she saw was Gaven flying threw the air. Buffy ran for the window, wrapping her arms around Spike, she threw herself back first out the window. Angle who was driving up the dirt road having run to get the car heard the window shattered and saw his lover crashing threw.

His breath caught in his throat as he watched them fall to the ground. Buffy positioned her body to accept the worst of the impact to the ground. All the air was forced out of her lungs. Spike was lifted off of her that is when she saw Gaven leap from the broken window. Angel practically threw Spike into the back on the car.

"Buffy" he yell as he watched Gaven fly in the air. She had just gotten to her feet, just to be knocked down again. Gaven wrapped his arms around Buffy as he fell to the ground together they rolled. "Slayer you disappointment" he said as they rolled. Buffy gasped as pain shoot up her arm were his figures locked around the hidden bandage.

She could hear Angel chasing after them she felt a thud and all movement stopped. Angel stopped in front of them and pulled Buffy to her feet. Her head was still spinning.

"Angelus good to see you" Gaven said. Buffy's head finally cleared she put a hand on Angels chest.

"Where is Spike?" she asked noticing for the first time Gaven was stuck to the tree that they had rolled into. "That must hurt," Buffy said sarcastically pointing to the wooded knob that stuck out of his shoulder.

"A little help luv?" he asked Buffy who smiled and said.

"Naw I think I'll let the sun give you a hand" Buffy felt Angel grab her arm and pull her back up the hill.

"What" she said as she stumbled behind him. "I think it's time we got out of here," he said pulling her away from Gaven and the tree.

Buffy looked back at Gaven and was amazed to see his eyes were a blood red. The tree was uprooting and the earth trembled. Together they ran for the car. Buffy jumped in and Angel followed, there was a cloud of smoke in their wake as they drove off. Buffy turned in just enough time to see Gaven step out onto the road.

They drove in silence, Angel looked into the rearview mirror, "Are you alright?" he asked his eyes meeting Spikes.

Spike was just beginning to get feeling back in his body "Just dandy" he dared a look at Buffy who was focused on the road ahead. Angel reached out to touch her leg "How is your arm?" he asked.

Buffy smiled "To tell you the truth I am afraid to look, I'll have Giles do it once we get back home" They pulled into the drive; Angel helped Spike into the house. Buffy hung back she had to get her emotion in check; the thought on nearly losing her best friend shook her to the core.

"Buffy" she turned to look at Angel "You should come inside" nodded her head she followed him in and went directly to her room.

Buffy let the water run in the tub, as long as she kept her arm out of the water there should be no problem she thought to herself. As the washroom filled with steam she starred at her reflection, her bruise didn't seem to be so bad anymore and the cut above her eye was healing nicely. She turned off the water and sank in, God that felt good. She closed her eyes and let the numbness soak out of her body. She was exhausted it took all her effort to pull herself out of the tub. Once she was dressed she climbed into bed and she thought to herself _'I'll close my eyes for a few minutes'_.

Angel found him self-watching the stairs for Buffy to return. He saw Giles gather the first aid kit and make his way up the stair. He followed asking the watcher "Need any help?"

Angel could tell the older man was angry with him, when he didn't reply Angel simple followed. Giles checked the bathroom and then her room; he gently knocked when he got no response he opened the door. Giles walked into the room saying, "Close the door" Angel followed quietly.

She was lying flat on her back, one arm covering her eyes and the other hand resting on her flat stomach. "She is exhausted," Angel said more to himself than Giles.

Giles sat on the bed and gently took her injured arm "Wouldn't you be if you had been threw all she has in one day and it is not over yet" Giles took in the dark circles under her eyes and her red nose from crying so much. " You" he continued "left her alone, I can not believe you left her after everything that had happened, and to go to Darla of all people" Giles began to cut away the bandage. "I am sorry Angel but I don't understand".

He gently pulled the gaze away from the stitching and was glad to see no tearing; it had bleed but nothing more. He reached for a cotton ball with disinfectant on it and gently began to clean. "So are you going to explain yourself," he asked without raising his head.

Angel sat down "Darla knows more about Gaven then she is letting on" he passed Giles another cotton ball "She had a run in with Gaven as she was leaving town yesterday." Giles reached for the band-aid wrap listening while he worked.

"Why didn't he kill her when he had the chance, Lindsey told me that he is at the end of his rope with her. She thinks I am the only one who can protect her" Giles looked up at him.

"Gaven knew you were with Darla earlier on this evening" Buffy said startling the two men.

"What" Giles said reaching for her arm again? Buffy struggled to sit up "After Angel left to go to the hospital." her voice cracked and she had to swallow, Angel touched her shoulder "I went back out to the garden to think" she continued without looking at him "Gaven was there, Giles once you went inside Spike came out and they exchanged a few word, Gaven told me to give Angel his apologies that he new he was busy with Darla" Giles seem to process this information.

Giles handed Angel her arm "Please finish this up and meet me downstairs" he said as he left the room.

Buffy closed her eyes, 'God I soo tired'" she said lying back down and closing her eyes.

"Buffy is that to tight" Angel asked making sure the tape was secure before taking his hands away.

Buffy opened her eyes to Angel's questions "No. No it is fine," she said pulling her arm from his she tried not to groan as she stood up. Angle watched her pull her self to her feet and walk into her closet to pull on a pair of joggers. The silence was deafening to Buffy she said the first thing that popped into her mind.

"So did I break her jaw?" Buffy cringed at her own questions before he could reply she quickly amended. "I'm sorry what I meant to ask is Darla ok" Angel stood up and closed the distance between them.

"She is fine" Angel watched her process the information saw the flash of pain and betrayal in her eyes. "Buffy I think we need to talk about what happened tonight" Buffy pulled her hair into a ponytail.

"Angel I.." she started when there was a knock at the door. Xander popped his head in and said "Buffy I have to get home to Anya, Willow is coming with me to do a protection spell on our place."

Buffy made her way over to where Xander stood. "Ok I'll walk you over" Angel stepped forward but he was stopped by Xander's look. They both followed Xander down the stairs. Buffy's eyes scanned the room Willow stood by the door with Dawn who held an overnight bag. "Going somewhere," She asked as she grabbed a coat.

Dawn smiled Buffy took in her red puffy eyes, damn it, she thought it's my job to protect you from the joke I call a life. "I said I would stay with Anya while Xander helps you guys out, I need some quite time" Buffy just knobbed. Just as the door opened Spike came in from the kitchen their eyes met.

"Buffy" he started just for her to cut him off. She shook her head "Not know, Angel lets go" Buffy didn't see the hurt look in Spike eyes. They crossed the lawn when Dawn said.

"That was mean Buffy" Dawn said looking at her sister once they reached the sidewalk, this caused Buffy to stop cold.

"Excuse Me," she said reaching to stop Dawn she spun her sister around to face her.

"Why did you have to exclude him like that, he was just trying to protect us" Buffy reached out and grabbed Dawns arm. She tried to bite back on her anger.

"What he did was stupid he could have been killed, Spike is a vampire we can't protect him with a spell. He should know that by now" tears flooded her eyes "as for excluding him, I am trying to keep him safe, in the house where No one can get to him with out going threw me first." Buffy's voice broke, the night's events finally taking their toll.

A look of shame hung on Dawns face "Buffy I'm sorry" Buffy held up her hand to silence her sister. "Save it Dawn, I am so tired of this shit."

Angel went to put his arm around Buffy just to have her shrugged him off. They walked the rest of the way in silence. Once inside Anya was a chatterbox glad for Dawns company, Xander got what he need and they made their way back.

"Buffy are you ok?" Xander asked on their trek back to her place. His arm reached out to encircled her shoulders.

"Yes I am fine, I am just so tired of everyone giving me a hard time when I do my job." Buffy was the first to enter her house and stopped dead in her tracks there was Darla in a sling and Lindsey.

"What the hell", she turned to Angel as anger washed through her, "I don't need to be reminded of what your choices are. Get her the hell out of my house." Buffy turned on her heel and stomped her way into the kitchen.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N Wanted to send out a special thank you to all of those who reviewed. Sorry of any errors below my beta reader is swamped with any luck things will get back to normal.. **WARNING** There is a sex scene in this chapter my intent is not to offend anyone, just trying to get a point across. So if you are sensitive do not read

Chapter 9

Angel stood rooted to his spot, it took a moment to get movement back into his legs and he made chase. "I had no idea, Buffy wait" he followed her into the other room Giles appeared in the doorway.

"I called them here, we need to know why Gaven is here" he said looking at Buffy. His face drawn not wanting to hurt his slayer but this had to be done.

Buffy cut him off "We know why he is here, Giles I don't want her here." Angel tried to intervene, he held up his hand to stop her for speaking. "Buffy try to understand, we are all on the same team here."

She turned to look at him and said "Last time I checked you were rooting for the wrong side" He flinched as if she has slapped him, he responded to her without thinking.

"Grow up Buffy," he said sitting down on a chair. Buffy snapped her emotions still raw from her earlier outburst, everyone had gone mad, leaving her the only one sane.

"Don't you dare reprimand me, just who in hell do you think you are!" Giles came up behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Buffy Please" he offered trying to calm her.

She shook her head "No Giles I am so tired of him always referring to me as a child, who need to be taken care of, or doesn't know what she wants. I am not that girl anymore. Angel do me a favor, get the hell out of my life once and for all take Darla with you, you both deserve each other. I am so tired of you walking in and out of my life and creating this chaos" she had to stop because her throat hurt she went to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water and drank from it. They watched her recap the bottle take a deep breath and continue.

"I won't let you hurt me anymore Angel, I needed you after everything that happened tonight." Tears flood her eyes and she was unable to continue with a shake of her head she fled from the room.

Giles stood in shocked silence, Angel stood up and pulled out two mugs and filled them with coffee. He turned to Giles "Find out what you need to know from Darla and Lindsey, then send them on there way" he made his way downstairs, he could hear her cry half way down the stairs.

Once on the landing he saw her sitting on the couch crying into her hands. He made his way over to her and placed the mugs on the table and sat down she looked up at him, she turned her face away from him but the tears still came. Angel just sat there, her sobs beating against his heart until he could no longer stand it, he reached over and pulled her to him, she struggled at first but tired out quickly.

Once the tears stopped he handed her a napkin to blow her nose. She reached for a mug and took a sip, "Thanks" she said still not looking at him.

"Buffy I love you, I am sorry that I have cause you so much pain, but if we are to ever move forward we are going to have to close the chapter on our past mistakes". He stood up and began to pace the room, "I know a lot is going on right now, and it is not fair to push, but I need you to know that I do not love or want Darla, just you. I know my actions speak differently but that is the truth, what happened between Darla and myself happened during a vary dark time in my life and I acted with out thinking, I just wanted the pain to go away."

Buffy sat there trying to process all this information. "How would you feel if I told you I had slept with Spike," she asked her eyes burning holes into his flesh.

Angel stopped pacing "What?" he asked his voice came out strained. He watched as she reached for Spike cigarettes pack that was left on the table.

"You heard me," she said softly. He watched as she pulled out 2 smokes, she light them and passed him one, he took it and starred at her as if she had grown two heads.

"When did you start smoking?" He asked bring the cigarette to his lips. "I don't," she said as she exhaled the smoke "Answer my question."

He reached for his mug. "I would be angry, I would feel betrayed and having to see you both together. The way you to are connected knowing that and seeing it would be hell, to be constantly reminded he had touched and tasted what is mine" he said bringing the coffee mug to his lips wishing it were something stronger.

Buffy took another deep drag off her smoke and put it out. "That is how I feel when ever I look at Darla, you chose her over me, you shared your body and bed and your life with her. When you first became human who was the first to know besides Cordy and your gang," she asked speaking slowly as if she where talking to a child.

"Buffy I don't love her" he started shaking his head clearly frustrated.

"Who" she insisted Angel looked her in the eyes and said "Darla" Buffy stood up needing to move.

"It should have been me. Angel if this is going to work I need to be the only woman in your life that lives here," she said placing her hand over his beating heart. "Your partner in life and battle, not someone that need to be protected and hidden away" he went to interrupt but she continued "you now what I mean Angel, I want trust and honesty from you". Angel went to answer and she placed a finger over his warm lips and said "Think about it" she removed her finger the silence hung heavy in the air. Buffy turned away from him and made her way upstairs.

"Buffy" he called out "just one thing" She turned to look at him, "Yes Angel" he looked like a little boy shuffling his feet.

"Did you, I mean have you and Spike" Buffy laughed for the first time that day, it felt wonderful.

"No Angel, Spike and I have never gotten horizontal" she sighed quoting Spike. Angel sighed and tried not to smile.

Everyone was silent when she walking into the family room "Giles what is the verdict." Giles stood up and walked Buffy to the kitchen, "She is hiding something" Buffy poured herself a glass of juice.

"So what do we do?" she asked. Before Giles could answer Darla started to scream Buffy heard Angel bound up the stairs, he practically kicked the door in "Buffy" he called out, relief flooded his system when he saw her with Giles.

Another scream filled the room just then Lindsey collided with Buffy who had ran into the hallway "Buffy he is here" he cried trying to keep his hold on Darla.

There was a knock on the door "Little pigs.. Little Pigs let me in" Gaven sang threw the door. Buffy rushed the door. Spike who was in the sitting room was on hit feet, ready to battle his demon.

"Spike upstairs in Dawns room" Buffy yelled just to have Spike shake his head and respond "I won't run from him Buffy" her eyes met his.

"Angel get Darla away from the door" Buffy open the door, there stood Gaven, he was one beautiful male, Buffy felt her body burn under his intense gaze.

"Hello lover" he said leaning onto the doorframe. Buffy smiled sweetly "You have something that belongs to me Slayer" Buffy crossed her arms and offered.

"Gaven what really belongs to anyone these days" she shrugged to get her point across. Gaven place a hand on the hidden barrier that surrounded the entrance, it crackled with blue electricity.

"This won't keep me out for long. I will be coming for him and you too my love." He said matter of factly.

Suddenly Gaven seemed to pick up a scent; he looked into the house and his eyes focused on Willow. "I smell power" before anyone could react Darla became frantic, she ripped herself out of Lindsey's hold and went straight for Spike.

"You want him then have him. Just leave me alone" she screamed pushing Spike who fell out door. Buffy eyes focused on Gaven he was starring intently at Darla his eye's a blood red, he's controlling her, the thought popped into her head, before she could voice her thoughts she was shoved out the door along with Spike. Putting her self in front of Spike, Buffy stood ready for battle.

Just then the door to the house open and Angel came flying out the door his eyes a glow, he collided with Gaven and they both tumbled to the ground, Gaven was the first on his feet. Buffy grabbed Spike and practically dragged him to the door where Giles was struggling with Darla. Giles looked at Buffy and said, "She had gone mad"

Buffy fist met Darla's jaw she went slack in his arms. "Now she is a sleep" she turned to Spike "Stay here" Giles handed her a cross bow.

"Buffy" Spike started wanting to get into the fight but she cut him short with her words.

"Not now I have to go help Angel, Please call Dawn and make sure everything is ok" Buffy notice Willow chanting softly in the middle of the room. Standing on the porch she watch as Angel and Gaven's fists connected.

She took aim, both Gaven and Angel where oblivious of her, she got a clear shot and her arrow sailed through the air. Gaven turned slightly and the arrow lodged in his upper chest. Gaven blocked a fist and threw his own.

Angel hit the ground hard he noticed Buffy reloading the crossbow. Gaven dropped down next to him and said with a sly smile, and a quick lick to his lips. "She will be mine" with those words he disappeared as quickly as he had came.

Just then Xander came crashing out of the house followed by Spike and Willow. "We have trouble," the red head shouted.

Fear sliced threw Buffy she leapt off the porch and made chase she passed Xander adrenaline pumping threw her system she rounded the bushes and saw Dru and four other vamps, Dru was work on the protection barrier. Buffy jumped into a scissors kick catching Drusilla right in the throat.

Xander and Spike took out the stand a bouts. Buffy kicked Dru right into Angel who closed his arms around her, "Time to talk dear" He said while she struggled.

They got her into the garage without incident. Spike was the last to enter having checked on Dawn "Daddy don't let them hurt me" she whined in a singsong voice her gaze on Angel. Dru's head spun around when she felt Spike enter the garage.

Her eyes fell on Spike "You're a rotten mean Spike who never gives me anything I want" Spike walked right up to her and grabbed her throat "It is over luv" he pulled out a stake. Dru smiled she new Spike would never truly hurt her so she allowed him to feel like he was in control. "What does Darla have to do with Gaven?" he asked.

Calmness seem to overtake Dru, Angel let his arm drop, guilt eating his heart for having created this creature. "He is using her, to control the others," she said with a knowing smile.

"Why" Willow who had been standing in the back of group stepped forward and asked. Dru rolled her eyes at the red head but offered and explanation.

"A distracted slayer is a dead slayer," Dru laughed. Angel looked at Buffy, really looked at her, her face was pale and tense, and he could only imagine what was going on in her head.

"Why did you bring him back pigeon", Spike whispered regardless of what had changed Spike had been with Dru for over 200 years there was still a connection there. Buffy watched his hand slid from her throat to her cup her check, his thumb tracing her lover lip.

"I was tired of being alone, make the pain go away Spike, the slayers course has been set. Only he can change that." Dru sighed turning her face into his hand, her eyes met his, Spike was a little taken back when he saw her eyes fill with tears.

"Spike," she breathed, "Mummy wants to rest" before Spike could react Dru leaned against the stake impaling her self. Everyone watched her smiled as she reached out to touch Spike all he felt was Ash "Dru" he cried his voice high filled with such pain he dropped the stake it fell to the ground.

Angel closed his eyes to stop the rush of tears. He had to turn away from them to get his emotions under control. Spike stood rooted to his spot, shaking his head. "No No" he chanted.

Willow wrapped her arms around him gently whispering, "I'm so sorry". Buffy turned away thinking; _I know his pain, killing someone you love'_ Unsure how to comfort her friend, Buffy left him with Willow and walked to the house. She made her way to the sitting room where Xander was holding a very pissed off Anya.

"They killed it, Xander, I mean they just walked up and chopped off it's head, where any I going to find another" Buffy looked at Dawn and raised an eyebrow, Dawn smiled and mouthed "Rose bushes".

Buffy shook her head and said, "Lets go" Dawn grabbed her bag and leaned down to kiss a sobbing Anya.

"Don't worry Anya they will grow back" Anya smiled and wiped at her eyes "Thanks Dawn." As everyone walked back Buffy noticed Spike lagging behind. Willow walked ahead quietly telling Dawn what happened. Buffy stopped and waited for him, the other kept walking.

"So how do you feel?" she asked reaching to take his hand. Deciding to let him bring his feeling to the surface.

"I'm not sure, like she.." he drifted off not able to find the right words to express his emotions.

Buffy offered a sad smile and said "Not really gone, you can still hear her" Spike looked at his friend, his eyes filled with such pain.

"I killed her Buffy" Spike whispered. Buffy shook her head cupping his shoulders.

"No you did not killed her, she pushed herself onto that stake I was there. In her own strange way I think she loved you and rather give her life then have to really hurt you" Spike closed his eyes "At least that's what I think" she said as they began to walk again trying to ease the pain.

"Thanks luv" he said letting go of her hand and embracing her, she returned the hug. Spiked pulled away from Buffy his face hidden in the shadows.

"Let's get inside" he coughed, they crossed the lawn and Buffy met Angel's eyes. She could see the jealousy there, forcing a smile they walked inside.

Giles came rushing forward "Everything all right" Willow began to tell Giles what had happened. Lindsey met Buffy in the hall "Your back I make fresh coffee" Buffy took the mug from him she turned to leave when he continued to speak. "Listen I am so sorry for all the trouble that she has caused" he stopped, Buffy decided not to tell him the connection with Gaven and Darla.

Spike walked into the kitchen and sat down she sat next to him, Buffy had to lay down the ground rules. The timing was bad but she really had no choice, keeping Spike out of harms way was a priority.

"Spike, now that we are home and safe I have one thing to say to you and I am only going to say it once. I know the timing is bad but if you every pull a stunt like to tonight again, I will severely hurt you myself." Buffy tried to smile to take the sting out of her words.

Willow walked into the kitchen and said "Sorry Buffy you will have to get in line, behind me and Dawn." Spike looked at them all; he needed to find an outlet for his hurt, anger was the next best thing.

"What do you expect me to do Buffy, hide sorry I am NO bloody coward" he shouted. Buffy stood up and said softly.

"No but think before you do things, if you want to kill yourself, let me know that way I won't chase after you because when you act the way you did earlier you put everyone in danger" Spike when to answer, but closed his mouth.

Buffy pushed her chair in and said "I am going to bed" Just then Giles stood up a frown on his face.

"We should go back to Angels there is a lot more space and". He faltered when Buffy glared so Willow jumped in.

"The mansion is made of stone which makes my protection spell bind tighter" Willow finished. Buffy sat back down Angel stepped forward "Just for a few days Buffy"

Dawn sat next to her sister "I'll pack a bag for you, you look like hell." She stood up and left the room.

Buffy shook her head "Dawn bring my work out clothes" she yelled, everyone stood silent. Spike stood up and left the room. Buffy followed wanting to make sure he knew she was there for him.

"What, your going to follow me know" he growled his eyes glowing. Buffy stopped and said, "That is not fair."

Spike turned his back to his friend in dismissal, "Buffy leave me alone" She felt like she had been slapped in the face she turned to leave the room tears blurred her vision, when she felt his hand touch her shoulder.

She turned to look at him "I'm Sorry Slayer, it just that I feel so helpless, I don't want any of you to get hurt" he said. Buffy hugged Spike she new he was hurting because of Dru. Her arms tightened around her friend, her voice muffled in his chest. "I know that Spike, but you have to trust me. You know that when it comes to survival that _YOU_ are essential"

Angel cleared his throat Spike could see the hurt in his eyes "We should be going. " Spike made a mental note to talk to Angel everyone piled into cars and headed out the sun was just coming up Buffy leaned back and closed her eyes. Angel waited until she was asleep to adjust her head with Spikes help on his lap.

Spike looked at Angel and said, "She loves you, you know that right" Angel didn't reply. "She is afraid of being hurt Angel, the trust you to share is as natural to her at breathing, even if she is not ready to admit it yet. Everything will work out, just give it time."

Angel looked at Spike for the first time. "Were you lying to me the other night, have you and Buffy had sex?" For some reason Angel seem obsessive with this thought.

Spike looked at Angel "If that is all you care about whether or not we had sex, Angel, you have bigger problems than trust, at least on your end."

Angel was instantly ashamed and said "Sorry I just have a hard time seeing you both together, I see the way Buffy and even Dawn are with you and I can help but think it should be me".

Spike thought about this as they drove. They got to the house and Angel got out to open the door. Giles stood guard over the sleeping woman and while they unloaded the bags. Spike reached in and grabbed Willow, Angel stood unsure what to "I'll grab Dawn" he whispered.

Spike smiled and said, "I'll take care of my women thank you. You have your own to worry about" he said nodding in Buffy direction. Angel reached in and gently scooped Buffy up in his arms, he cradled her to his chest, she sighed and snuggled closer, he walked up the stairs when it hit him, _all her stuff is in my room, what if she doesn't want to sleep in there_.

Spike was on his way up with Dawn "Put her in your room I have taken the connecting room with Dawn". He said reading Angels thoughts. Angel pushed the door open with his foot and gently put her down and covered her up; she murmured something he didn't understand.

"I'll be back" he shut off the main light and lit 2 candles gently he closed the door. He made his way downstairs to find Spike talking to Lindsey. He stopped looking at the Vampire he helped create. He was completely different the changes he saw in Spike where deep rooted internal changes.

"Trust me mate you have to be firm with Darla, show her who is boss, she walks all over you" Angel smiled hearing Spike pass on his wisdom to the younger man. Angel walked out of the room to look for Giles.

"There all out like a light" Angel said helping Giles rearrange his desk. He was setting up so he could continue to work.

"Good, I'm almost done here why don't you go to bed and get some sleep" Giles offered without looking at him.

Angel lifted the last box and placed it on the chair beside the desk and said, "Are you sure" Giles just waved his hand. Angel made his way back into the living room and notice Spike sitting all alone.

"You're not going to sleep," Angel asked sitting down beside him he could stop the groan that came from him.

Spike smiled and said, "I am a vampire I don't need sleep" Angel laughed and leaned his head back onto the cushions; he spoke with out opening his eyes.

"Thanks, for everything, I know if you wanted you could have made things a lot more difficult for me" Spike pulled out his smokes and offered one to Angel who shook his head.

"I can't explain it," he said pausing to light the cigarette "The changes inside, I don't have a soul, like you did but I like to believe that my soul are the people around me who need me and love me, don't get me wrong the urge is still there but it is not as loud as it use to be." Spike said getting comfortable.

Angel smiled again, he looked at his friend and said, "She is at peace" Spike looked at Angel and waved his hand saying. "Go to bed" he said putting out his cigarette. He stood up and made his way to his bedroom. Angel pulled off his boots and pants he walked into the bathroom and washed his face, he took in his battered body, and tiredness hit him suddenly. He climbed into bed and listened to Buffy breath and fell into a deep sleep.

Gaven had a clear shot of Buffy and Angel as they slept, he watched as Spike gently open the door and check on his friends, then cross the hall and entered the slayers sister's room _Dawn_ yes that was her name. He watched with growing interest as he saw Spike gently touch her face and adjust her blankets. Gaven looked over his shoulder at the rising sun.

"Soon Slayer you will be mine" he smiled "And we will bring Spike to his knees" with that he made his way to shelter.

Spike closed the door to Dawn's room and made his way to Willow, he quietly got into bed and pulled his little witch to his side, "How are you feeling?" she asked resting comfortable against him.

"Your awake?" he asked looking at her. Willow smiled into the darkness of the room, knowing he could see her face.

"Yup I have been waiting for you." Spike began to trace lazy circles on Willows exposed shoulder.

"Why" he asked again, not sure if he was willing to share his feeling on Dru just yet, what she said still rang within his head.

"I need to make sure that you are alright" Spike remained silent knowing she had more to say "What?" she asked. Spike sat up and said into the darkness of the room.

"I am afraid" he whispered, Willow sat up and reached for the light needing to see his face.

"Why are you afraid?" she asked once the light was on and she was once more facing him.

Spike closed his eyes "I am afraid for you, Dawn and Buffy, Gaven will not stop until he gets what he wants" Willow reached for his hand not sure how to comfort him so she offered.

"Spike I can take care of myself and Buffy will do everything in her power to keep all of us safe" Spike pulled the covers back he got out of bed feeling very restless and said.

"That is just it, I don't want her in any danger" Willow watched him pace the room. "Buffy is stronger than Gaven " she began but he cut her off "Did you hear what Dru said" Willow nodded her head and recited from memory.

"A distracted Slayer is a dead Slayer but you" again he cut her off "Right Buffy has a lot on her plate right now with Angel and Darla. And know we know that she is working with the other side, she is off her ball and you now it" Willow leaned back into the pillows and said.

"So what do you want to do, go after Gaven yourself" Spike sat back down and said tiredly.

"I don't know but I don't want to be the reason that anyone gets hurt" She reached for him and kissed him gently on the face. "Let try to get some rest" half an hour later the house was silent.

Buffy mind was spinning of images of Angel and Darla danced in her head as she slept. It seem that she was watching them threw a frosted window, she was just able to make out there bodies twined together moving as one, suddenly she felt as if she were not alone she turned to see Gaven floating above her.

"_I can make you forget Angel and all the pain_" he said his voice echoing in her mind. "_All you have to do is let me in_."

Buffy shook her head "Never" she said; Gaven floated to the ground and walked towards her "_Why_" he shouted, his voice thundered in her head "_He doesn't love you he feels sorry for you, he picked the woman he wanted._"

Buffy tried to turn and run but her legs were stuck to the ground. She began to thrash around in the bed; "_He slept with you and lost his soul, you killed the man you loved and Darla gave him what he desire she gave him life his humanity_"

Buffy tried to close her eyes but was unable to. Gaven hand shot out his fingers barely touching her "_I will love you the way you need to be loved, the way Angel never could. I will be faithful"_ Buffy began to whimper caught up in her nightmare.

"Let me go" she chanted over and over sweat pouring out of her body. Angel slowly opened his eyes he heard Buffy cry out.

"Buffy" he whispered reaching for the light. Gaven gently traced her lips with his cold finger tips _"I love you more than Angel ever will"_ he whispered as he leaned into to take her lips in surprising gentle kiss. Buffy was unable to move she was frozen "No" she cried out.

Angel having switched on the light turned to look at Buffy she was terrified in her sleep she was thrashing around her arms failing her head turning from side to side. Gaven eyes turned the color of burning fire. "_Fine_" he shouted as he struck her face "_look how much your Angel loves you_," he shoved her body around just as the frosted glass fell away.

Again she tried to close her eyes with no luck. Gaven's voice taunted her "_Does that look like a man in love?"_

Buffy took in the sight of Darla sitting a stride Angel's naked body; there bodies covered in sweat glistening in the light. Her hands clutched handfuls of his hair to hold his mouth to her breast, which he was sucking at greedily. His hands where on her hips helping her to keep the frenzied rhythm as she worked her self up and down on his long thick member.

Angel watched Buffy's body go completely still, he watched her head rock as if struck, and he saw blood slowly trickle from her cut the scab broken. Something was not right; he reached out to touch her hand and received a shock.

"Buffy wake up" he said shaking her shoulder receiving another shock. Angel threw back the covers and raced to Willow and Spikes room, he opened the door and flipped the light on.

"Willow I need your help" Willow nearly fell out of the bed in fright. Spike helped her to her feet, and followed Angel back to the room where Buffy by appearance looked to be in a deep sleep.

Buffy could not take her eyes from the scene before her, it hurt to breathe, and Buffy watched Darla climb off of Angel and take him in her mouth, she sucked wildly. Buffy took in the look of pure bliss that crossed Angel's face that was the real pain for Buffy to see how much she satisfied him. He began to thrust his hips at Darla and she swallowed him whole. Gaven's voice filled her head again, as she felt his body press against hers. She could feel his arousal.

"_Yes he is a man in love but not with you_" Angel's body stiffened and he reached for Darla's head holding it in place as he pushed his jerking member into her mouth completely. It took a moment for Buffy to realized he was climaxing she heard him cry out to Darla as he exploded.

Buffy thought she was dying. Angel pulled out of Darla mouth and pushed her roughly onto the bed, Buffy cried as she watched Angel begin his trek up her legs with tiny stokes of his tongue.

Gaven pushed his hips more firmly against her and his hand move to cup her breast, he cradled it in his hand gently squeezing feeling their _weight "Let me make the pain stop"_ he whispered into her ear as he kissed her neck.

Angel pointed at Buffy's sleeping body "There is something wrong I can't wake her up, one minute she is shaking all around the next she is perfectly still. Whenever I touch her I get a shock."

Suddenly Buffy moaned "Please no more" tears began to flow from her closed lids "Your killing me," she cried. Gaven now stood before Buffy her shirt undone as he ran his hand freely over her chest. "_You are beautiful_," he said as he lowered his head to take her nipple into his mouth. She felt his other hand travel down the front of pants. He caressed her intimately threw the thin material.

Willow approached the bed; she reached out and touched her hand. A thunderous current ran from Buffy's clenched fist into Willows arms, she did not let go. Angel watched as Willow began to give off a white light, it seemed to surround her body and her eyes turned black.

"Let my eyes see threw hers" Willow called out causing Angel to jump. Willow stepped out from behind a tree and saw Gaven and what he was doing to Buffy. He was too involved with Buffy to notice her yet.

"Gaven is in her dream he is ", Willow stopped as she hear the noises of people having sex, groans and wet sounds of flesh meeting flesh. Suddenly her mind was filled with the images that Buffy saw. Angel slamming his sex into Darla from behind, his hands milking her breasts, then moving to her shoulders to firmly hold her in place as he continued to impale her on his stiffened member.

"Oh my God" Willow cried. She saw Gaven what he was doing to Buffy's breast "_Invite me Slayer_" he would say when Buffy did not response he would bit her tender flesh until he broke skin.

"What" Spike and Angel both asked. Willow could feel her friend's pain and sense of revolution at having this thing touch her. Willow began to cry feeling her friend's pain.

"Willow what is it" Spike asked again. Buffy cried out again as the scene played out in front of her over and over. "_Come to me Buffy, you can't fight me_" suddenly Gaven turned to look directly at Willow.

"_Your are treading on very dangerous ground witch_" he said. She watched him rise to his full height, Willow stood her ground blocking out the sounds that seem to vibrate off her body she noticed his hand was still the front of Buffy's pant. Buffy tried to turn her head but was unable to "Willow help me! Get him off," she cried.

Angel and Spike felt helpless as they watched both Buffy and Willow. Angel looked at Spike "Get him off me" he repeated Buffy's words out loud. Fear clutched his heart and he moved towards Buffy on the bed, he took in her pale face

"Leave this place and never return I bind over this mind and the others. Seal it with my blood of light" a knifed appeared before Willow who reached for it and cut her hand letting her blood run free. "You have no power here Cretan leave to never return" Willow chanted, Gaven began to spin madly screaming out wildly.

The bodies in front of Buffy began to move faster slamming into one another until they disappeared from sight. Buffy threw back her head, as a great force seemed to push her body forward breaking the ice that locked her in place. Pain flooded her system as feeling came back to her body. Willow fell to the floor Spike reached for her grabbing her bleeding hand.

Buffy sat up straight in the bed crying out her eyes flew open she clutching her burning breasts. She saw Willow on the floor and Angel and Spike helping her to her feet.

"Buffy are you all right?" Angel asked walking towards the bed. He starred at her hands holding her chest he thought he saw blood.

Buffy scrabbled to get way from him the images still fresh in her mind "I have to go, please don't touch me" she cried as she ran from the room taking her bag with her.

Thank you all for your kind words --- keep them coming!

**Carolina 17** – Angel has bit more to answer for trust me there is more to come.

**Lessthanangelic1** – I have been called a lot of things but "Twisted" I will take that as a compliment. Thanks for the review!

**SlayerDevyn** – Glad you love the story; I hope I don't disappoint you in the chapters to come!

**Charli92** - The fight scene was a hard one, but I am happy with it I wanted Buffy to completely come undone and fight that inner demon. Happy you enjoyed it!

**Buffstuff500 **– Thank you for your kind words

**Pinkyblue-ice** – Thanks for your seal of approval I hope I don't disappoint with Chapter 8

**SPK** – Your review had me sailing when I read it. Thank you soooo much, reviews like yours make it all worthwhile. Hope you like the upcoming chapters.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N Thank you to all of you that have reviewed! I am still flying solo without a beta reader, so please have patience with me. Amanda hope all is well!

This chapter is more like a filler, a regrouping. Don't get use to it!

Chapter 10

Angel stopped in his tracks and watched her run from the room; he could hear her muffed sobs as she ran down the hall and stairs. He turned to Willow "What is going on, why was she holding her chest like that?"

Willow felt trapped should she tell him or not. "Willow what did you see?" Angel asked again walking to stand in front of her. Spike wrapped the cloth to stem the flow of blood, took Willows arm and gave her gentle shake as he asked.

"What happened love?" Spike stood in front of her and looked her directly in the eyes. "What did you see? You are not betraying Buffy by telling us"

Willow closed her eyes "Gaven was forcing Buffy to watch Angel and Darla having sex". Her eyes found Angel's shocked ones. "She saw it all, I can't describe it" she said walking towards the door, rubbing her arms as if she was suddenly chilled "Buffy was frozen she couldn't stop it, or turn away from it" Her words caused Angel to sit on the bed.

"Oh my God" he closed his eyes "Spike I will kill him with my bare hands" he whispered. Angel let his mind wander back to that dark time, Darla and Angel had sex but it was almost animalistic, hurtful sex.

Spike was having a hard time understanding exactly what Willow meant so he had to ask for further clarification "When you mean saw."

Willow cut him off "Everything it was like they were right in front of her, you could smell the sex in the air," Spike closed his eyes as Dru's words echoed in his mind again.

"You now what he is doing don't you" he asked to no one in particular anger flooded his system, he felt the demon in him rage. He was not sure what angered him more, the fact his best friend had just lived through her worst fear or the fact no one seemed to notice Gaven's game plan.

Angel looked at Spike his mind not working he was still too shocked to think clearly. "What who is doing" he asked rubbing his head which was suddenly pounding.

Spike began to pace, his mind racing as his thoughts came together, "Gaven is trying to keep Buffy off her game, a distracted slayer is a dead slayer" he said repeating Dru's message.

Willow closed her eyes and wiped the tears from her face, she shook her head trying to shake her friends despair from her mind. Angel stood up and said, "I have to find her and explain." Willow sat next to Spike shaking her head.

"Just leave her be for a while, it is still to fresh in her mind to listen to anything you might have to say." Willow rested her head on Spike's shoulder, her mind beginning to follow Spike's line of thought.

Buffy ran down the stairs and into the main washroom, she slammed the door and leaned against it. Her breath was ragged, her mind was racing, she let her bag fall to the floor as her stomach heaved and she dropped to her knees in front of the toilet.

Willow went to check on Buffy, Willow raised her hand to knock but stopped, as she heard Buffy heaving behind the closed door. Buffy empty what little she had in her stomach out, she rested her heated head against the cool porcelain of the bowl, taking deep breaths.

"Pull your self together Buffy you have too many people counting on you to fall apart know" Buffy said to herself as she slowly go to her feet, she rinsed out her mouth and washed her face, she cleaned the cut above her eye. Buffy stood motionless as she took in her appearance. She looked like that lost little girl, that was afraid of her destiny that ran from her fate, not the strong independent woman she had struggled to become.

"Buffy can I come in" Willow asked threw the door. When she got no response she tried the door, it was open she walked in and saw Buffy standing in front of the mirror. "Is there anything I can do" Willow asked.

Buffy smiled putting on a brave front "Fine, I am just fine" Willow sat on the rim of tub not buying into her false smile.

"I saw what he was doing to you Buffy, Do you need any help?" Willow asked again looking at her friend's chest.

Buffy clutched her shirt tighter "No I," she said as tears came to her eyes. Willow stood up and approached her friend Buffy turned quickly to the shower and turned the water on.

"Let me see Buffy" Willow asked again. Buffy removed her nightshirt and Willow noticed right away the suck marks on the back of her neck and shoulders. Buffy turned slowly, Willow gasped when she saw her friends chest, she had teeth marks all over her breasts and stomach, he had bitten her so hard the skin was broken and bruising in many places.

"Do they hurt" Willow asked Buffy who shook her head, Willow knew she was lying but did not push.

"I am fine Will, I just need to be alone." Buffy watched her friend; she met Willow's eyes and held them for a moment. This seemed to work because Willow turned and left the washroom closing the door behind her. Buffy tested the water and stepping under the spray she let the heat relax her body. Once the burning stopped from the bite marks it wasn't to bad ' _He is messing with your mind, Buffy, your making it too easy_" she thought to herself as she washed her hair _'he knows my weakness and is playing on it, it has to stop or he is going to win.'_ Buffy rinsed off her body and shut the water out. _"You'll have to face Angel, you'll have to forgive him or send him away'_ she thought as she dried off and applied disinfectant cream to her sore front half, '_can you forgive him _she thought as she slipped on her work out clothes. Buffy once more stood before the mirror. "I can try, No more Gaven the game ends here, " she said to her reflection her voice filled the bathroom.

Pulling her hair into a ponytail Buffy opened the door carrying her running shoes. She opened the front door and sat in the sun letting the warmth soak into her. Buffy slipped her feet into her runners lacing them up; she stood up and stretched her body. Buffy's body protested '_you need to sleep_" it cried. "Rest will come later" she mumbled to herself as she ran down the walkway. Buffy's main focus was to center both her mind and body for what laid ahead. The game was over.

Angel watched from his bed room window "Spike what am I going to do?" he asked as his eyes followed her until she ran into the woods. Spike who was still in shock at what Willow had told them finally said.

"You have to tell her everything, trust her with your mistakes" was all Spike could offer his friend. He stood up and walked over to him placing a hand on his shoulder to show his support.

Angel's gaze found and held the younger vampire's "You don't understand when Darla and I had sex it was" he stopped trying to find the right words "there was no feeling only want, I didn't care if she felt good or not, I was driven by need and lust" Angel moved to once more sit on the edge of the unmade bed.

Spike smiled feeling for his friend. "Just say it you had dirty raunchy sex" Spike sat down next to him trying to lighten the mood. It seemed to work because Angel offered a half smiled and said. "That is one way to put it Spike".

"Listen mate" he said standing up he wanted to find Willow "Just tell her the truth and she will come around, I have to go find Willow" Angel stood up with Spike and watched him go. Angel did not know what to do so he began pulling the sheets from his bed.

Spike found Willow looking out the window; in their bedroom "Hello pet how is she?" he asked embracing her from behind.

Willow turned to Spike "He hurt her" she cried into his solid chest. Spike looked confused and asked. "Who hurt Buffy? .. Angel?"

Willow shook her head crying "No not Angel Gaven, Buffy was like frozen she couldn't move and he touched her while she was forced to watch Angel and Darla."

Spike stepped back from her "What?" he asked then he shouted for Angel, who came running into the room "What is wrong?"

Spike passed on the info he just learned, Angel felt his blood boil "What did he do to her? Was that is why she was holding her chest." Willow nodded her head wiping her tears from her face.

"She has bite marks all over her breast and shoulders he even broke skin he wanted her to invite him in." She had to stop as tears flooded her eyes again "His hand.. his hand was down the front of her pants, he was trying to get her excited" Before anything more could be said Dawn walked in.

"Who was excited," she asked with a yawn. Spike quickly took control of the situation. He walked over to her and forced a smile. "I am excited, Willow wants to go shopping so I thought you might like to come," he said. Dawn reached out and touched his face.

"Fine don't tell me what is going on" she said with a frown and walked out of the room.

An hour later Buffy walked threw the door directly into the kitchen and poured her self a glass of cool water and guzzled it down. Placing the glass in the sink she smiled at her friends. "Morning" Spike handed her a mug of coffee. Buffy sat next to Giles, Spike had filled him in what had happened.

"Have a good run?" Giles asked trying not to look at her chest. Buffy smiled and reached for a muffin "Yes I did, when you're done your breakfast, Spike I would like to get some training in," She said as she tore the muffin into pieces and popped a section into her mouth.

Spike looked up from his mug "Sorry love you will have to find another partner. I have a few errands to do this morning with Willow & Dawn."

Buffy eat another piece of her muffin chewing it slowly, once she was done she turned to Angel " Are you up for a little workout?" Angel nearly choked on his toast "Yes I wouldn't mind a work out" he said with a smile.

Buffy smiled back and asked, "Is the equipment still in the same place or has it been moved?" Angel shook his head "No the back room hasn't changed". Buffy stood up and drained her mug, put it in the sink and walked out of the kitchen. Everyone starred after her.

Spike stepped forward "I'll go" he said following her out of the room, he entered the room to find Buffy stretching her body he watched her arch her back until she was standing on her hands. He waited until she was on her feet to speak. "Are you alright Slayer?" Buffy reached for the tape and began to wrap her already bruised hands.

"Yes Spike I am fine" she said looking up at him. Spike walked over to her and took the tape from her hands and began to wrap them for her.

"How are you alright? Last time I saw you were running from the room in hysterics". Buffy waited until he was finished to speak.

"Spike I did a lot of thinking this morning", just then Giles entered the room "These last few days I have lost control of my life, I have just been feeling not thinking. What happened this morning was some thing I don't think I will ever forget? But if I shut down and hide Gaven wins". She walked over to the window to look out side. "The truth is I can't blame Angel for what he did, we weren't together. I had no ties over him and if he wanted to sleep with Darla or any other woman that was his choice."

Spike took in her pained expression he knew how much this was hurting her but proud of her wisdom at the same time. "Buffy I think you and Angel need to talk about what happened with Darla."

Giles who was silent up till this pointed added "It may not make the hurt go away but put a better perspective of what truly happened" Buffy turned back to her friends and saw Angel standing in the door way, he had heard everything.

Buffy smiled and said, "Gaven will have to find another way to get at me than threw Angel, because that won't work any more. My feelings for Angel" Buffy stopped wanting to make sure she expressed her self correctly. "I have always considered them to be a weakness, but their not, they are my strength" She spoke directly to Angel.

Angel walked towards Buffy and took her in his arms "Thank you" he felt her stiffen slightly and released her. Spike turned to leave the room.

"Wait" she called out "before you leave please let Willow and Dawn know I want to go over some moves with them."

Spike nodded his head "Will do" he smiled as he waked out. Buffy began to punch the bag that hung from the ceiling. "And you might as well tell Lindsey and Darla to" she said hitting the bag with such force the leather seem burst. Giles smiled to himself proud of his Slayer. "Oops sorry" she said.

Giles worked Buffy hard, an hour and a half into it Angel had to slow down, so he watched Buffy and Giles sparing with wooden staffs, Giles held his arms up "I need a break" he gasped.

Buffy was covered in sweat; "Come on lazy bones break is over" Giles tossed the staff to Angel he stood up. Buffy attacked Angel with the staff, the next thing he new he was flat on hit butt.

"Wake up" she laughed Angel stood up embarrassed. Giles was laughing loudly "What is so funny" she asked turning to look at him trying to hide her laughter.

The two worked around the room. Both were in the heat of battle, when Spike walked in unnoticed by both Angel and Buffy, Giles handed him a staff and motioned him in from behind.

Angel saw him coming and picked up his pace determined to have Buffy knocked on her ass. Buffy sensed a change in the air around her, she spanned quickly to the right, hitting Angel with the heel of her hand directly in the chest to knock him off balance. While kicking her leg out almost connecting with Spikes face "It is not nice to sneak up on people Spike."

Giles clamped his hands "Great job Buffy, that is enough for now" She put her leg down and gently hit Spike a smile light her face as she spoke.

"Trying to gang up on me" Spike laughed "Well you know Buffy; Angel is human now, so…" Angel cut in "I can handle myself just fine" he huffed which caused them to laugh even harder.

"Giles" Buffy called out to him "I am going to shower and than take a nap came you keep an eye on Dawn, if Spike is not around." Angel having heard this reached for her arm.

"Buffy, can we talk" he asked she looked him in the eye and said, "I would like that, but I would like to take a shower first, how about you come up in an hour or so."

Angel smiled "Sure thing" Buffy walked towards the stairs "Angel" she said causing him to turn back to her "Bring some food" she whispered.

She made her way up the stairs, humming to herself, '_your doing great so far'_ she said to herself '_just keep your self focused'_.

"Buffy" she turned to look at Willow who was standing in the doorway. "Hi Will" Buffy found it hard to meet her eyes, "Can we talk?" Willow asked.

Buffy straightens her shoulders and walked into Angel's room motioning for Willow to follow. "Do you mind if I run a bath" Willow followed her into the bathroom and said "What about your arm" Buffy reached for her Vanilla scented bubble bath, "Giles said I could remove the stitches." Buffy told her friend.

"I'll do that while you're in the tub" she said and went to get the first aid kit. By the time she got back Buffy was in the tub with bubbles up to her chin her eyes were closed. If it weren't for the circles under her eyes, you could never tell anything was wrong, the bruises were gone from her head, and the cut had closed nicely would be gone by tomorrow morning. Her hands told another story; Willow pulled the foot tool up to the size of the tub.

"Here give me your arm," she instructed, Buffy laid it on the towel Willow had placed on the wide rim of the tub.

"How are you feeling?" Willow asked, Buffy kept her eyes closed but responded with a sigh "What would you like to know Willow" Buffy asked feeling her body relax.

This caused Willow to smile "I just want to make sure that your alright, it's not everyday that a person see the one that they love having sex with someone else" Buffy opened her eyes to look at her friend.

"Willow like I said earlier, I will never forget what I saw, but I have to get over it. I can not let Gaven control me threw Angel"

Willow began to snip away at the stitching "I am really glad you think that way, but what I want to know is how you feel" she said pulling the thread out of each knot.

Buffy closed her eyes once more and spoke "Willow, when I close my eyes I see them. The rational part of my brain tells me to let it go that we weren't together we had no ties, but my heart hurts to beat" Willow had to blink rapidly to keep the tears from falling "I mean when it comes to sex Angel and I do not have a great track record" Willow pulled the last stitch from her arm and cleaned it off.

"What do you mean?" Willow asked turning her back so Buffy could get out of the tub.

"Come on Will the very first time we made, he turned into a monster and tried to kill my family and friends. He completely shot my whole sex appeal to shit. Ok you can turn around," she said to her friend before she continued.

"Then when we do have normal healthy love making he swallows the day to make it so it never happened". Willow watched Buffy scurry around the room brushing her hair, pulling on clothes, completely lost in thought. "I mean how else am I to feel; look at the facts", she continued " he makes love to me and loses his soul, he screws Darla and becomes human" Buffy hand clamped over her mouth at the shock of saying what was truly in her heart.

Tears filled her eyes as she looked at her friend "Oh God, Will did I just say that out loud" Willow walked over and hug her friend "It is ok to feel that way. Face you feelings Buffy and follow your heart." Willow went to say more but there was a knock at the door.

"Lunch is served" Angel said walking into his room with a tray of food. He took in the two friends and stopped "Is everything ok?" he asked.

Willow smiled and said "I was just taking the stitches out of her arm" she walked to the door and pulled it closed "Enjoy lunch" she called out before it closed "Buffy, are you alright?" Angel asked putting the tray on the table.

Buffy smiled and said, "Yeah we were just taking" Angel sat down and motioned for her to sit as well.

"About me?" he asked as he reached for a plate. Buffy felt her face go red and she offered.

"You're name was mentioned." Angel filled her glass with juice and passed it to her enjoying the pinkish ting that covered her cheeks.

"That's good at least you don't hate me" he joked, Buffy cut him off shaking her head.

"I don't hate you Angel," she said frowning, Angel laughed and responded,

"I know that just I wanted to see you squirm" Buffy didn't know weather to laugh or cry.

They ate in silence and once Buffy was full she walked over to the bed and sat down "I see you moved your things out" Buffy stated trying to keep the tremor out of her voice, Angel stood up and joined her on the bed.

"I thought it better if I slept next door, for now" he added he was unsure what to do or say so he just sat there.

Buffy smiled "A little sure of your self aren't you, but this is your room, I'll move next door". Angel shook his head while he said, "No Buffy it's ok, I like the thought of you sleeping in my bed, even if I am not with you" Buffy tried to control the hot feeling that rushed threw her body.

Suddenly everything go to quite, "Come on lie back" he said patting the pillow. Buffy stretched out and pulled the blanket with her, his arm wrapped around her drawing lazy circles on her shoulder. Buffy snuggled closer and said, "Ok so talk"

Angel's laugh sounded hollow "You know that I had this whole speech planned but for some reason it doesn't sound so good anymore" Buffy felt him tense up so she decided to hit the nail on it's head and said.

"I just want the truth, it's ok I can handle it no tears or freak-outs" she promised closing her eyes preparing herself to listen. Angel had to look at her because her voice held so little emotion. Angel got comfortable and began his life story explain how he came to find Cordy and Doyle, Wolfman & Heart. Buffy remained still threw it all, Angel watched as she would clench her fists ever so often. Now the hard part of the story was up so he took a deep breath and dived in.

"Suddenly I started to dream of Darla, vivid dreams that were so real, I could not forget them, soon everything was about Darla." Angel stopped because there was no movement from Buffy, "Hey are you a sleep?" he asked. Angel allowed Buffy to sit up he watched her get out of bed and walked to the window.

"Please finish," she asked before she chickened out. Angel shook his head trying to word things correctly. "Buffy to make a long story short I thought I was dreaming of Darla. I had no idea that Lindsey had brought her back, I was consumed with her obsessed and I lost myself in her. Buffy I am so Sorry" he said sitting on the bed; she kept her back turned to him.

"I wanted to hurt Darla and, myself for feeling so lost and lonely. This went on for 3 months. Finally Doyle and Lindsey came in and caught us together, up until that moment I thought Darla was dream. When I realized that she was really there. I mean Doyle could see her I lost it I nearly killed her. Suddenly every thing feel into place Wolfman and Hart wanted me to lose my soul, my humanity."

He stood up and walked towards her "I let her go 6 months later I was human" Buffy was numb 3 months he had a relationship. He touched her arm "Buffy please look at me, in all my years of being a vampire and now human. I have made love to only one person, and that was you, there is a difference, and I think you know what I mean." Angel paused then said "Now that you have seen what you did."

Buffy had to turn her face because tears threatened to fall "Yes I know what you mean" She walked towards the bed needing some space.

"Buffy" he called out she stopped to look at him "Do you trust me?" he asked her as he closed the distance she had just made.

Buffy just looked at him "I, I" she stammered taken off guard. He smiled his sad smile "Not even enough to tell me that Gaven had hurt you". Angel asked softly.

She looked up sharply "What.. Willow shouldn't have" her tongue tied as she covered her chest with her arms.

Angel stood before her and said, "It wasn't Willow, why Buffy?" Buffy blinked away tears and she turned her back to him.

"I wasn't sure, how you would react, I don't need a repeat of what happened to Spike happen to you" She could not see his smile or his eyes fill with love at her trying to protect him.

"Let me see" Angel asked, Buffy shock her head "Please, no more secrets remember" Angel said softly, Buffy turned to look at him. Her hands went to the top of her shirt to undo the first few buttons. Her hands began to tremble, Angel brushed her hands a side and slowly undid the rest.

He gently slid her shirt from her shoulders, down her arms until it hit the floor in a soundless heap. His eyes took in the teeth marks that covered her chest, neck and shoulders. Angel felt rage size his heart.

Buffy watched Angel's face especially his eyes turn from a chocolate brown to a blazing gold. A tear silently slid down her check, Angel gently touched the welted marks that covered her flesh. "Do they hurt?" he asked.

She was unable to speak. Angel looked at her tired face and eyes brimming with unshed tears "Hey" he said pulling her into his arms. "It's ok let it out, he will never hurt you again," he whispered and Buffy sobbed into his chest.

"I couldn't move, he kept touching me, I am so strong but I could not move. But the worst part was having to watch you and Darla" she cried into his chest.

Angel tightened his arms around her "He will never hurt you again" he promised. Buffy was not sure how they made it to the bed but there she was snuggled into his chest in the protective circle of his arms. Buffy closed her eyes and said "Thank you" she mumbles sleep quickly approaching.

Angel smiled "Your welcome" Buffy turned her head and placed a kiss on his chest "I love you Angel" He felt his heart sing "I love you to" was his response, soon they were both asleep.

Willow walked into the main room in search of Giles, she found him with his nose in a book. "Giles we need to talk" she said stopping before him. He motioned for her to sit.

"What is on your mind?" Giles asked seeing the look on her face. He marked his page and closed his book.

Willow leaned towards him "I am going to fight Gaven with Magic, before you say anything, I will do it the right way." Willow said holding her hand in a pleading gesture.

Giles reached for his glassed, "Do you think you can handle it?" he asked deciding to here her out. Gaven was gifted warlock all options where open at this point.

Willow stood up and said "I have no choice, I need your help if you see me getting out of line". Giles stood up and hugged this young woman, she was truly a gifted and powerful witch, it took years to tune and hone in on that energy, but with it came a high price. The magic was like a drug to Willow; the more she used her powered the harder it would be to stop. Giles understood her need to help, even at the cost of her own safety.

"You can trust me," he said sitting back down. Willow smiled as all the tension left her body. "I also know someone who would love to help us"

"Who" Giles questioned reaching for his book. He had found a reference to Gaven in one of the older journals.

"Oz is back in town and is dying to see everyone," Willow told him beaming Giles smiled happy they had come together once more so he offered "That is wonderful, bring him by".

Willow left Giles and headed for the kitchen she walked in on Lindsey and Darla arguing, "Darla I am warning you back off, they are not your concern."

Darla spun on him "Angel is my concern and she is not right for him, and I will protect him". Willow walked right up to Darla anger flowing from her.

"Shut up, you don't care about Angel all you care about is yourself, if you so much as hurt either one of them, I'll kill you myself you worthless excuse for a human being." Willow grabbed the phone and said to Lindsey "I feel sorry for you, trust me you can do so much better than this trash" Darla swung at Willow who held up her hand in warning, the air crackled with electricity. This caused Darla to stop dead in her tracks.

Willow spoke to Lindsey without turning to look at him. "Get her out of here Lindsey before I push her out the window". Lindsey grabbed Darla pulling her from the kitchen.

Spike pulled into the driveway with Dawn. "Spike did something happen to Buffy last night" Dawn asked as she gazed at the stone structure. Spike spoke with out looking at her,

"Like what luv" he asked afraid to look at her so he took look out the window. His answer made Dawn sigh and got out the car and said. Dawn decided to try a different approach.

"What were you all talking bout this morning, why were you all acting strange when Buffy came back from her run"

Spike did not like having to lie to Dawn so he held up his hands almost to ward off the onslaught of questions and said "Dawn everything is fine trust me." Dawn decided not to argue for now.

Buffy stretched and rolled over and opened her eyes, Angel was propped up looking down at her. "Hi" he said with a smile. She sat up "Hi yourself, what time is it?" she asked. "About 6:30" was his reply he stretched his body yawning loudly.

"Time to get up" she said throwing the blanket away from her body. Angel watched her stretch her body; he saw the muscle dance under her skin. He took this time to examine the scars that ran across her lower back, they were angry looking scars, jagged slashes which had smoothed with time, he also noticed that some disappeared down her shorts.

"How long did it take for those to heal", he asked causing Buffy to looked at him over her shoulder not sure of what he was taking about. He placed a finger on the largest scar that ran right across her lower back, it looked like they tried to cut her in half.

Buffy stood up and reached for her shirt that was still on the floor. She covered her chest and walked to her bag to pull out a spandex bra. She had her back to him while she pulled it on "Longer than usual, they hurt a lot more that any other type of wound. The funny thing is most scars will fade and eventually disappear, but they didn't. Giles found it very strange at the time" she said in a matter of fact manner.

Angel got out of bed as well "I noticed that they run under your short line. He watched her move around the room like she owned it.

Buffy began to brush her hair catching his eye in the mirror "lower back and thighs are the only places the scars did not disappear, I have a few very thin and fine ones that run across my navel and stomach but you really have to look to see them". She pulled her hair into a ponytail and reached for her running shoes. He watched her slip them on over her socks. Once she was done she stood before him "How do I look?" she asked with a smile

"Ready to face the world" he said squeezing her shoulder. Buffy laughed and said, "you might want to change, we have some training to do with everybody, then patrol. Then I have to go home and check on a few things and I am expecting you to come and keep me company".

Angel moaned, "When did you become such a drill Sergeant". Buffy stopped at the door "There are lots of thing you don't know about me" Angel came to stand in front of her and whispered "I am looking very forward to finding out" his lips gently covered hers in a kiss. Angel pulled away and smacked her on the ass "I will meet you down stairs in 10"

Buffy found everyone in the Garden "Come on all of you get into your work out gear training commences in 10 min." She said sitting down next to Dawn, as the others moan and groaned heading to the house.

"Hi ya squirt, what have you been up to day." Dawn smiled at her older sister, she did not mind it too much when Buffy spoke to her like a child so she let it slide and said.

"Not much how about, Oh my god Buffy what happened" she said reaching out to touch the fading welt and bruise on her sisters shoulder. Buffy took the girls hand trying to calm her. Dawn listen quietly has Buffy explained what had happened.

Dawn stood up and said "Is Darla in training, cuz if she is I want to partner up with her" Buffy smiled and said "Go get changed." Buffy went to the kitchen for a bottle of water there she met Lindsey.

"Hey training in the work out room." Buffy called out to him when he didn't look up Buffy sat down next to him "Are you ok?" she asked.

Lindsey look at her confusion hit his face causing him to ask, "How can you been so nice to me after all that she has done"

Buffy smiled reaching for his hand "You're not Darla, I think you're in a tuff spot but I can't blame you for Darla's actions".

Lindsey smiled and said "She is not like this normally, she reminds me of when we first brought her back, mean and selfish" he stopped himself and pulled his hand away.

"Am I interrupting something?" Angel asked from the door way. Buffy stood up and said, "You should go and get ready Lindsey" once he left the room Buffy turned to Angel and said "Poor guy maybe you should talk to him."

Angel looked at her and said, "Do you really want me to do that" Buffy smiled and said, "He needs someone to talk to" They both entered the gym when Angel called out "forgot my bottle of water."

"So look at the happy couple, all in love" Buffy turned to find Darla stretching in the corner. Buffy walked past her smiling to herself as she saw the bruise on her slightly swollen jaw. "Has he told you the things that we've done how long we were together?" she taunted from her corner. Buffy dropped her towel and bottle of water. She placed on hand on the bar that hung from the wall it was waist length in height and padded with foam.

Buffy lifting her leg to rest on it stretching her leg muscles. Buffy tried to block the images that came rushing to her mind. Angel approached the room and heard Darla taunting Buffy. He was ready to grab Darla by her neck and snap it into when he heard Buffy say.

"Darla give it a rest, I have more important thing to do then play games with you. If I were you I would worry about the man you have, because the next time I find him sitting all alone" Angel heard Buffy tone drop "I will do my very best to make him forget his troubles" Angel smiled as he walked into the gym. Darla stood there with her mouth open, before she could recover the other walked in.

Lessthanangelic1 – I like intense, glad you like the story! Don't want you to get too settled, the fun part is keeping you all jumping.

SPK – Again your review made my day! You So get the undercurrent of this story! Thank you

Logansluvah – I had so much fun with this chapter, Trust me Gaven had only just begun

Pinkblue-Ice – I am happy that you are so into the story. You have been a faithful reader from chapter 1 Thank you

Julyhearts- Thank you for your review, as for Buffy having faith in Angel, it has to grow, more twist and turns to come!


	11. Chapter 11

A/N – I hope you like this chapter - let the games begin! SPK this chapter is for you!

Chapter 11

Buffy had them all go through a series of stretches, Spike and Willow paired off, Angel and Dawn, Giles and Darla. Angel smiled when Buffy called Lindsey to the front to pair off with her.

"Don't hurt me," she laughed holding up her arms in a defensive way. This cause Lindsey to smile, Darla saw red. They were shown some basic defense measures to use if needed.

Angel noticed Dawn was a bit off her game. "Are you alright squirt?" he asked as they threw mock punches. She just looked at him and punched him hard. Angel caught her fist, "Whoa there tiger, what are you so angry about?"

Dawn felt anger bubbling up "You were suppose to protect her, not let her get mauled" she yelled stepping away from him. Everyone stopped and stood still.

"Have you seen her body, he could have killed her" Dawn yelled glaring at her family her eyes burning holes into Spike. Angel looked at Buffy then back at her.

"Dawn, you have every right to be angry, but what happen to Buffy I had no control over that". Dawn began to pace the young woman was angry and Angel was her way to vent.

"Right Angel, good excuse, if it were Spike he would have known". Angel felt like he had been kicked in the gut. Spike stepped forward and grabbed her by the arm.

"Hey that is un called for" she shrugged him off turning on him the real source of her anger "You lied to me, I asked you if everything was alright, and you said not to worry. I am not a child anymore. I do not need to be protected. I am a member of this team and should be treated as such".

Dawn walked over to Darla and shoved her shoulder. " If you hurt my sister again I will gift wrap you and take you to Gaven myself". And will those words she walked out.

Spike turned to Angel "Hey I am sorry, I don't know what has gotten into her. She is angry with me it has nothing to do with you at all," Spike said with a shake of his blond head.

Angel looked at Buffy who offered a smile "I'll be back, Spike don't worry about it," he said as he walked out in search of Dawn. He found her in the kitchen.

"Hey can we talk?" He said before approaching the young woman. "Sure " Dawn said without looking up.

"Dawn I am sorry that I let you down" Angel started just to have her cut him off.

"I am sorry Angel. I know I was wrong to say those things; there was no way to protect Buffy, which is why Gaven did it that way. What I did was childish and I am sorry" she stopped.

"What is really bothering you?" Angel asked Dawn, she raised her head to look him in they eyes. He took in her pained expression.

Dawn opened her mouth said, "I love Spike", and once those words were spoken out loud a weight seem to be lifted off her shoulders, "There God I said it."

Angel just starred at her "You love Spike" Dawn knobbed her head "Yes it feels so good to be able to say it out loud." Angel stood up to shocked to really move so he offered. "When you say Love"

Dawn cut him off once more with a smile "I love him the way the you love Buffy, I always have." Angel sat back down.

Once Angel was able to form words he asked, "Does Spike knows how you feel?"

Dawn smiled sadly "Sometimes I think he does. He'll look at me a certain way, and I am sure he can read it in my eyes. But to answer your question, No I have never told Spike that I love him in that way, I can't"

Angel took her hand and asked softly "Why not, don't you think he would like to know" Dawn felt her eyes prickle with tears.

"I could never do anything to hurt Willow, even deep down I know she still loves OZ, and that both Spike and Willow love each other but are not in love with the other." Dawn felt suddenly too exposed so she took her hand afraid she had said too much. "Please do not say anything" Dawn stood up and wiped her face "Let get back before they come looking for us"

Angel hugged the girl. "I am here whenever you need to talk." Just as they passed the door, there was a knock. Angel reached for the knob and opened the door, their stood Oz, "Angel, good to see you."

Angel and Oz shook hands "How are you," Angel asked thinking _does Spike know that you are here_. "Come in we are all in the gym" Angel led the way and Dawn trailed behind.

Buffy was rolling with Lindsey across the floor laughing. Everyone stopped when they entered the room. Buffy stood up "Oz nice to see you again" Giles and everyone crowed around him. Buffy pulled Dawn off to the side Spike saw them talking quietly. Dawn was crying, he watched the slayer embrace her sister.

Darla watched with growing rage, "I'll make that Bitch pay for everything she has ever done" Spike watched Darla leave the room. He made his way over to Buffy, Dawn saw him coming and fled the room.

"Is she mad at me or something" Buffy smiled not wanting to get in the middle so she offered. 'Don't worry about it" she said with a wave of her hand.

"Darla just left" Buffy's eyes scanned the room "I will be leaving shortly with Angel for patrol. You are not to leave this house, I need both you and Willow to talk to Lindsey and tell him what is going on with Darla. The poor guy thinks she has gone crazy."

Spike just starred at her a frown creased his handsome face "What" she asked.

"Why can't I come with you?" he asked not liking the feeling of being left out. Buffy smiled her hand linking with his.

"Nice try smart ass, you know that I need you here." Spike held up his hands and said, "Ok, Ok I will stay and baby sit" he watched Buffy walk out of the room. _Why was Dawn crying'_ he thought to himself.

Buffy washed her face and grabbed a jacket loaded up on weapons. Angel was already with Giles "It about time" he said with a smile. Buffy got her earpiece and they head out. First stop was Willies; Buffy let Angel smack him around until he fussed up that the reason that there has been zero activity is because Gaven was in town. All the vamps have strict instructions to stay put until he attacks.

They made a quick sweep of the cemeteries but it was all was quiet. "So what did you and Dawn talk about" she asked causally.

Angel shook his head "Oh no you don't, if Dawn wanted you to know she will tell you herself."

Buffy smiled softly "I already know, I see it in her eyes when she thinks that no one is looking, I know because it the way I use to look at you when we could not be together".

They made there way over to Buffy's house, she unlocked the door and check for messages. While Buffy packed more clothes the phone rang _"Buffy, were have you been. I have been looking all over for you"_ Bills voice sounded in her ear.

Buffy sat down "What's up Bill" Angel stopped what he was doing to stand in the doorway. "Sure what time, how many classes sure no problem" Buffy hung up the phone, just to have it ring again "Yes Bill" Buffy answered knowing it was her co worker. Angel watched the emotions play across her features "Yes I will sign off on the paper work just leave it all in my office"

They said they're good byes and hung up. Angel almost thought it would ring again. "What was that all about" he asked. Buffy shrugged her shoulders.

"I have to go into work tomorrow to cover two of Bills classes and review some paper work that needs some signing." Angel took the bag from her hands.

"Why can he sign them" Angel asked there was so little he knew about his slayer.

Buffy laughed "I am the Senior Sergeant so I must sign off on case files. Happy know Mr. Noisy"

Angel smiles and said "I have a lot to learn don't I" Buffy stopped to think about his comment and offered.

"So do I, but feel free to ask me anything" Angel blurted out what had been on his mind for a while "Why did you and Riley break up?"

Buffy stopped in her tracks and just looked at him. "Geeze that didn't take long" she said making her way to the kitchen. Angel watched her reach for the phone and dial, "Hi Bill" she said, "Is the paperwork ready know, cause I can swing by now. That way it can be dealt with first thing in the morning." Once she hung up the phone, she turned back to him "Would you like to come with me or go home".

Angel put down the bags "With you, I would like to see where you work". Buffy excused herself and went back upstairs. 20 minutes later she walked back into the kitchen with a pair of windbreaker pants and shirt that read Sunnydale PD. She was also wearing her gun hostler. "Lets go," she said as she walked to the door.

Just then Angel's cell phone rang "Hello" he listen and the way his shoulders went tense she new it was Darla "No I am not coming back to the mansion yet" Buffy ushered him out the door and to her jeep.

He got in "Darla where is Lindsey, put him on" Angel waiting for him to come on the line. Buffy pulled out the driveway and made her way across town to the station.

Buffy remained quite, she was fighting her own inner turmoil _'Will it always be like this, if I have a life with Angel with that include Darla'_ Buffy thoughts were broken when Angel finally snapped his phone off.

"What is the problem?" she asked throwing him a sideways glance. Angel closed his eyes.

"Darla is driving everyone crazy, she keeps yelling that Gaven is coming for the source to unlock our protection" Buffy shook her head not really thinking much into it.

"So are you going to answer my question or not" he asked shifting in his seat to gaze at Buffy. They pulled up into the station parking lot and Buffy drove into her reserved spot.

Buffy shut off the jeep and gazed out the window before speaking "Angel I never loved Riley, and I think he new it, or he thought it would change over time, that I would grow to love him the way he needed to be loved. But it didn't. I cared deeply for him but not enough to hold a relationship down. Things go ruff, we argued most of the time" Angel interrupted "About what?" he asked reaching out to take her hand.

Buffy sighed rolling down her window "You, his job with the government, Spike."

Angel gave her hand a squeeze and asked "Why did you argue about me?" he wanted to know. "Riley thought I compared him to you, that I was still in love with you and waiting for you to come home" Buffy laughed bitterly "If he only new" She said to no one unparticular "Any ways, he had a problem with Spike or should I say the vamp in Spike"

She stopped suddenly her mind rolling over the memories; Angel gave her hand a little shake "Buffy" She looked at him and blinked a half smile filtered over her face.

"Sorry got lost in thought there. One night Spike came by and said I need to see something. I followed him to this nesting whole and found Riley sitting in a chair with a Vampire attached to his arm"

Angel released the breath he had been holding "He was a donor" Buffy nodded her head.

"We had our last argument that night and I said good bye and good luck and he left. He stops by now and then we write. I have helped on a few cases. But nothing romantic."

She reached for the door handle "There is your update on Riley" Buffy grabbed her bag and they headed for the side door. Angel called out to her "Did you miss him?"

This caused Buffy stopped and to face him "No not at the time, I had to much going on with Dawn and Mom, but yes I miss his friendship, he was a really nice guy". Once inside, several people greeted Buffy. Angel noticed the mostly male environment. He watched as she hung her badge on the waist of her pants and signed him in and passed him a guest pass.

"Hey Sarg, thought you were on vacation" Buffy turned to see Mike. Angel took in this man; he was tall and well muscled. He watched Buffy hit his shoulder "Obviously you all can not do with out me" she laughed. She went to turn a way.

"Excuse me Sarg, is Dawn home for the summer holidays". Buffy smiled to herself "Yes she is Mike" just then Buffy turned to Angel "Mike I would like you to me a close friend, Angel this is Mike" Buffy watched the men shake hands.

"So you're a friend of Dawn's" Angel asked. Mike smiled "Yes I like to think I am".

Buffy smiled and said "Give her a call sometime next week." Suddenly Mike asked, "Can you pass on my number, I don't think William likes me much" Angel nearly laughed when he heard Spike named mentioned. They spoke for a few more minutes and then made there way to her office. She had a wonderful view of the training grounds.

"So this is your office," he said taking a seat on her couch, "yep, it is all mine" she said as she sat down. "Feel free to look around while I review this, it shouldn't take very long."

Angel watched her open the first file on her desk. She quickly skimmed threw the contents, she would stop ever so often to make notes. Angel began to look around her office at the many pictures that hung on the walls. There was one of the whole Scooby gang back in high school. One of Dawn, Buffy and Joyce, smiling sweetly for the camera, Angel noticed a picture that was hidden behind a stack of boxes, he pulled it out and what he saw brought tears to his eyes.

There he was sketched out on paper, both he and Buffy asleep she was in the circle of his arms. Angel turned to Buffy "Who drew this" Buffy looked up and smiled.

"Dawn, she is very talented, she gave that to me on my 20th birthday, she sketched it by memory".

Angel sat back down "It is beautiful" Buffy went back to work; she was on the last file when suddenly she asked, "What did Lindsay say?" Angel looked confused.

"Excuse Me," he asked. Buffy signed her file and stood up "What did he say about Gaven?" Angel thought for a moment, "He said that Darla was driving everyone nuts with yelling. That Gaven is coming for the source to unlock are protection, or something."

Angel watched Buffy go white "Oh my God Dawn, she is the source, he is going to use Dawn's power to get at us" Angel stood dump founded it took a few moment to realize Buffy was already running out the door. He made chase, once outside he asked waiting for her to unlock the door, "Dawn has a power?"

Buffy was frantic "Call Giles" Angel hoped into the jeep which was already moving by the time he reached to close the door. "Call Giles' she screamed again.

Angel reached for his cell phones "no one answers" he said. Buffy flew across town she pulled into the driveway. Slamming the jeep into park and leaped out the door. Buffy burst threw the door kicking it off its hinges "Dawn" she called out and she heard fighting coming from the Garden Buffy rushed out with Angel on her heals.

Buffy took in Giles and Spike fighting off the vamps that surrounded them. She saw Lindsey and Oz seemed to be protecting Willow who was battling it out with Gaven. Dawn was suspended in the air in a ball of blue light.

Buffy felt rage consume her and she went ballistic, she began to toss Vampires right and left. She fought her way to Lindsey; Angel slowly made his way to Gaven.

"Willow" Buffy screamed just then Gaven was hit from behind he fell forward. A flash of light blinded them all, Willow screamed out in pain and fell to the ground, Oz was at her side, and he scooped her up and cradled her to his chest.

Whatever power had been holding Dawn in place, was now broken. Buffy watched in horror as she fell towards the earth. Buffy ran at her sister but was taken down by kick to the stomach. She fell hard; she looked up in just enough time to see Angel threw a cloud of dust. Just then Buffy and Angel saw Spike charging towards Dawn, Buffy held her breath as she watched Spike propelling himself forward. His body connected with Dawns on impact breaking her fall.

Angel watched Spike wrap his arms around her body and pull her close as he whispered in her ear. Spike sat there for a moment trying to quell his own fears. "Dawn" he whispered, she would not open her eyes. Spike could hear her heat beating.

"Niblet come on look at me" Still no response. Spike look at Buffy tears clouded his eyes "She won't wake up, Slayer make her open her eyes" he whispered bring her face to rest against his neck.

Buffy stood up with Angels help "Lets get them inside" Spike and Oz stood facing each other, you could almost here the unspoken words that ran between them. Giles directed them into the main room. Both Oz and Spike refused to put their woman down finally Giles ushered them into their rooms. After examining Willow who was fine but exhausted. Giles told Oz to stay with her.

While checking Dawn Giles found a large lump on the side of her head, he told Buffy who loaded her up in the Jeep that was still running and raced to the hospital.

Buffy sat there numb flashed of her mother danced before her eyes. She was clutching Angel's hand like a lifeline. The doctor walked into the waiting area, "Buffy, she is fine, she is a wake and drowsy but wants to go home, is there anyone who can sit with her and wake her up every 2 hours.

Before Buffy could form a word they heard "Yes" Spike said stepping forward. An hour later, Dawn was tucked in her bed with Spike watching over her.

Spike was conflicted by the emotions that he felt towards Dawn. There was a knock on the door before he could get up from his seat Willow carefully walked in, and sat next to him.

"How are you feeling?" he asked touching her pale face. "Like a train ran threw my head" Willow laughed softly turning into his touch. "You did great work today pet" he said.

Willow was silent for a long time. Her mind wondered back to Oz and how she felt in his embrace. "Spike" she asked kneeling in front of him "Do you love her" Spike let his eyes rest on Dawns sleeping form "I do pet" he whispered back his eyes finding hers as he took her hand.

"You love him" Spike softly questioned, Willows eyes filled with tears as she smiled "Yes I do very much, I don't think I ever stopped"

Spike stood up and took her into his arms hugging her close "Then go to him and be happy, you will always hold a special place my heart" they kissed one last time and Willow slipped out of the room.

Buffy caught up with her in the hallway "Hey how are you feeling?" Willow turned to her friend. "What's wrong?" Buffy asked taking in Willow's tears.

Willow took her hand and said as she pulled her down the hallway. "Let get a drink, something strong" Buffy followed her friend down to the den. And there she sat listening to her friend very rational explain how she still loved Oz and that Spike was also in love with someone and how they still love each other and will always be there for each other. But they need to be true to themselves.

Buffy didn't know what to say, "What are you going to do know?" she asked. Willow smiled "Get to know Oz again, I mean we sent letters to each other every once in a while". Buffy stood up and said, "Will I am not going to lie this freaks me out a little."

Willow smiled and said "Get use to it" Buffy laughed at her friends report "I should go check on Dawn" and made her way out of the room "and Spike" Willow called out to her. Buffy turned "yeah him to".

Before she could turn her head around she see where she was going she walked right into Lindsey. "Oops Sorry I wasn't watching where I was going"

Lindsey placed a hand on her arm "Can we talk for a minute" Buffy looked up the stairs and sighed "Sure lets go outside." Together they sat at the table it was only 10:30pm and the moon was high over the sky. "So what can I do for you", Lindsey looked up at the sky as he spoke. "Is she going to be alright, I mean" when he faltered Buffy spoke up.

"Darla will be fine, Willow has put her to sleep. That way Gaven has no way to know our Game plan. The important thing is to act completely normal. We can not let Gaven know that we know he is using Darla" Lindsey closed his eyes.

Buffy felt for the man sitting in front of her " Can you do that Lindsey" she asked placing her hand over his and squeezing gently.

Just then Angel came out on to the patio "Buffy" but stopped when he saw them holding hands "Sorry am I" Lindsey stood up "No your not intruding, Thanks Buffy" he said and went back inside.

Angel watched him go before he sat down "I just saw Spike, he and Willow broke up." Buffy closed her eyes and said, "I know I saw Willow and she said the same thing." Angel leaned back into his chair and said "They seem alright with it" Buffy stood up and said "I'll believe that when I see all of them together, I am going to check on Dawn and I am going to bed, I have to be at work for 5am"

Buffy entered Dawn's room and said, " How is she doing?" Spikes reply was, "Fine I have to wake her up in a bit." When Buffy didn't answer he continued, "I suppose you spoke with Willow." She sat down at his feet and wrapped her arm around his legs.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Buffy asked her eyes on his face which was hidden in shadow. Buffy new the Spike and Willow had deep feeling for each other, and it was more of closeness then a sexual relationship but she was still worried.

Spike was looking at Dawn "I love her Slayer, and tonight when I saw her falling reminded me of so much, and all those feeling I have buried broke free." Buffy was silent she did not feel the need to respond.

"Are you angry?" he asked worried. Buffy looked at her friend and she could clearly see the love for her sister there. "No not angry, I couldn't think of a better person for my sister. Dawn is an adult and can make her own choices"

'_He has no idea that she feels the same way'_ Buffy thought as she stood up. Spike rose with her and kissed her on the check, "Thank you" he said as pulled her closed.

Buffy hugged her friend "No problem, if you need a break call me"

Buffy stopped in to see Giles who was already sleeping with his head against the headboard and a book on his chest. She carefully took his glasses off and put the book away, pulling up the covers.

She walked into Angel's room half expecting to find him there. He was not, she walked into the bathroom and turned the water on, Buffy let her mind wander while the heated water soothed her battered skin, and she let her fingers trail over the bite marks that still marred her skin. _"Soon you son of a bitch, it will be my turn"._ She said turning off the water.

Buffy took her time drying off and applying her nightly creams. She walked into the main room and lit the candles and climb into the bed. Buffy was just beginning to drift off, when there was a knock at the door. "Come in" she called out as she sat up.

In walked Willow and Spike, "Sorry" Willow said as she sat on the bed. "Who is with Dawn?" she asked. Spike got on the other side of Buffy; he had changed into flannel pjs bottoms and a black t –shirt. Buffy smiled remembering the fuss he made when he had to wear anything other than leather and jean.

"Angel" he said leaning against her pillows. Willow placed her hands on Buffy's heart and began to chant. She looked at Spike who was watching Willow, he look at her and said "protection spell, so there is no repeat of last night"

She looked at Willow "Thanks Will, how are you feeling with the spells?" she asked. Buffy flinched when she felt Spike gently touched one of the many bite marks. She was also wearing a small t- shirt "Sorry luv does that hurt" he asked.

Buffy shook her head "No your fingers are cold, so what is this little intrusion for" Willow took Spikes hand and said, "We just wanted to let you know that everything is ok between us. And that you don't have to worry; we know what we are doing, to say thank you for being such a good friend and loving us no matter what choices we make"

Buffy looked at two friends and said, "I love you both too, just be happy." Willow and Buffy hugged. "Ok out I need to get some sleep, I have work in the morning" Willow got up and left the room. Buffy looked at Spike "That means you to ya know". Spike just looked at her; he leaned back and lifted his arm. Buffy sighed and rested her head against his chest.

"What's on your mind William" she asked getting comfortable. Spike was starring at the ceiling as if it held all the answers he sighed deeply before speaking.

"I decided not to tell Dawn how I feel" Buffy smiled to herself hearing his words almost knowing he was going to speak them.

"May I ask why?" Buffy asked as she thought back to how many moments she had like this with Spike. To an on looker, they would see two people, very much in love sharing an intimate moment. But there was nothing sexual about them. They were the best of friends who could express so much with out speaking a word.

"Slayer she is so young, I don't want to hold her back from doing anything" Buffy closed her eyes and thought back remembering how many times she heard that from Angel. "Spike let her decide who is holding her back. Please do not make the same mistakes that Angel and I did, just take it slow".

"Buffy I don't even now how she feels" Before she could answer Angel walked into the room and stopped dead in his tracks as he saw Buffy and Spike lying in bed together.

"What the hell" he boomed as jealousy ran hot through him. Spike rolled his eyes and said with a wave of his hand "Relax peaches we are just talking" Spike kissed the top of Buffy's head and sat up "Thanks for listening luv"

He stood up and walked out of the room leave Angel and Buffy alone. He stood there for a moment trying to calm himself. Buffy on the other hand yawned and leaned back into her pillows and said. "Ok what" she was not sure why he was upset.

Angel opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. Finally he asked "What was he doing in bed with you?" Angel bit back on his anger waiting for her respond.

Buffy closed her eyes "Talking, he need to clear his head" Angel looked annoyed and cut her off.

"Talking about what?" he asked shaking his head slowly. Buffy sat up with a frown, Buffy notice his tense shoulders and said' "I am sorry Angel But I can't tell you that, it really is none of your business."

Angel just looked at her like she had grown two heads. "Ok like that is real mature, are we playing games again?" Angel regretted as soon as he said it. Angel knew he had over reacted but it was too late to take back the words.

Buffy sat there shocked "Are we going to have this conversation again, I have already told you once that I do not have to justify my relationship with anyone to you. What Spike and I were talking about has nothing to do with you, it was personal, if you want to know that bad go and ask him" Buffy stood up and pulled on her shoes.

"What are you doing" Angel asked as she reached for her keys and her purse.

"I am going home to my bed and sleep, Spike will stay with Dawn if you need me I am 5 minutes away by car". Buffy said calmly her eyes holding his gaze.

She grabbed her bag and walked out the door, leaving him standing there with his mouth open. She met up with Oz who was watching TV.

"Where are you going?" he asked Buffy did not stop walking "Home, do you want to come?" Oz took in her hurt and slightly annoyed expression.

"No.. NO I am good," he said just as she closed the door. Fifteen minutes later, Buffy walked into the empty house and checked all the windows and doors and walked up to her room. 12:45 am the clock laughed at her. She sighed and fell into a pit full sleep.

Gaven paced up and down the hallway. He had to get the Slayer and her sister. He had tried to connect with Darla but she was unresponsive. He would make Spike and Angelus pay for all they had done.

"Soon we will all be together with your help", he spoke to the picture he held in his had.

Buffy's hand slammed down on the alarm. She groaned dragging herself out of bed. "When this is over I am going to sleep for a month" She pulled her uniform training gear out, Buffy reached into her drawer and pulled out a Black long sleeve body suite. She had to cover up the bite marks that were just beginning to scab over.

It would not be the first or last time she would have to hide her wounds. She brushed her hair and pulled it away from her face. She grabbed a muffin and was on her way. Buffy got into her jeep looked in the mirror at her appearance – "_I look tired_" she said out loud rummaging in her purse for her make up bag.

Angel sat at the kitchen starring into his coffee, when Giles walked in "Buffy has already gone" he asked.

When Angel didn't respond Giles asked, "Angel are you alright." He looked up from his mug and said "Giles I really screwed up."

Just then Dawn entered the kitchen and asked for Buffy, she still had a goose egg in the side of her head. Giles stood up and excused himself. Dawn sat down "Are you hungry?" Angel asked, Dawn slowly shook her head the thought of food made her want to retch.

"Squirt can I ask you something" Dawn smiled and said "As long as it does not involve me moving" he smiled and scanned the room to make sure they were alone.

"Does it not bother you to see Buffy and Spike so close all the time, I mean I caught they lying together last night in bed"

Dawn smiled "And you got jealous" she interjected. Angel knobbed his head "Yes, I mean no hell Dawn" he said rubbing his face "all I know is she got up and went home" Dawn reached for his hand feeling for him "Get over Spike and Buffy, you have nothing to fear, they are like brother and sister, nothing more. Did you ask what they were doing?"

Angel stood up and said "Yes and she told me it was personal and if I wanted to know I would have to go and ask Spike then I said" he stopped. Dawn stood up and said, "What did you say Angel" Angel's reply was "I more or less told her to grow up."

Dawn looked at Angel a frown creased her face, "Angel the only thing I can tell you is to get over it. You do not see Buffy going all ugly green whenever Darla hangs off of you; there is nothing I repeat nothing sexual between Buffy and Spike, never has been. And between you and I, I think it is you who needs to act like an adult" and with those word she walked outside the back door.

Buffy finished off her two classed it was just a little after 1pm. She was at her desk when Bill walked in "Hey how is your vacation?" Buffy looked up from her papers "Hi your self, I see that you have everything under control Bill. Great job" the man blushed under her gaze.

"Would you like to have some lunch?" he asked. Buffy smiled and said "Sorry Bill but I have to motor, Dawn hit her head last night mild concussion. I want to check in," she said standing up.

Bill stepped forward and took her hand "What happened to you hands Buffy" she smiled again and gently pulled them free. "Moving furniture I had to learn the hard way that not every fits in a door frame" she lied. They spoke briefly for a few moments and she packed up to go.

Buffy stopped at the supermarket to pick up a few things. "_I am not staying at Angels any more, it is time I brought this battle to Gaven door_'. Buffy walked into her home, she went into the kitchen and there was Spike. "Hi you, where is Dawn?"

"Upstairs taking a shower," he said watching her. Buffy began to put her groceries away "Listen Slayer I am sorry if I caused you to fight with Angel" Buffy stopped to look at him and saw Angel in the doorway.

"No Spike you have nothing to be sorry about, I over reacted as usual. And I am sorry. I don't know why it bothers me so much" Angel drifted off taking in the two of them. Spike was the first to say anything wanting to ease the tension that filled the kitchen.

"No problem mate" he said slapping Angel's shoulder as he walked out of the kitchen leaving them to deal with it. Buffy held her ground and when Angel didn't say anything more she continued to put away the groceries.

Gaven stood in the center of the power circle. Blood sweat poured from his muscular body as he summoned the powers from the nether regions. Standing off to the right of him was a female Vampire encased in her own circle.

He began to chant as he reached for the blade that hung at his hip. The woman screamed as Gaven cut him self, black smoke flowed from his gaping wound. The smoke traveled threw the air to wrap itself around the vampire. She began to thrash around,

"Come to me keeper of the night, give to me what I seek. Grant me the power to bring the slayer to her knees, so we can rule over the darkness and bring my enemies to their knees" he screamed. Just then a blinding flash of dark light shot out of the smoke and hit the vampire female pinning her to the dirty floor.

Gaven smiled as he watched her bones and flesh melt and remold into his creation. Just as quickly as it had begun it ended. Gaven carefully stepped out of the circle "Mandy" he called out touching her with the toe of his boot she turned slowing rising to her feet.

"You look wonderful dear" he said touching her new face, "Did it hurt much?" he asked with curiosity.

"Anything to please you my lord I am your humble servant do with me as you wish" she said dropping her eyes.

Gaven released her chin and said, "I wonder if you sound like her" Mandy followed him as Gaven turned and walked out of the room.

Up the stairs into his fortress he called out to one of his guards "Find me the Slayers number" he turned to the vampire that wore Joyce Summers face and said "Come dear mother in law there is much to discuss".

Thank you to all of those who reviewed, keep them coming!


	12. Chapter 12

A/N Sorry for the delay, I can not seem to get ride of this cold! I promise I will post chapter 13 soon. I am still flying solo without a beta reader, so please bear with me while I get this all worked out. Thanks

Disclaimer: I own nothing so please do not sue. Gaven is my creation!

Chapter 12

Spike watched as Dawn reviewed her possibilities for next semester. "Are you not happy at Westmont?" he asked taking in her looks of frustration. His eye's followed the pencil as it traced her lips.

"No Westmont is great, it is just too far away, I never see you guys. I just want to be closer to home" Dawn flipped over on her back and looked at him.

"Spike can I ask you something?" Dawn sighed reaching for a pillow. He smiled at her "Sure love what is on your mind" She thought for a moment wanting this to come out the right way.

"Is it true that you an Willow are no longer together," she asked trying to sound normal. Spike smiled "It's alright, to say it. Willow and I are ok with our decision, she still had feelings for Oz, I knew that going into the relationship"

Dawn closed her eye's her heart was pounding so loudly she was certain he could hear it. "But" she started, but Spike shook his head saying; "No buts nothing niblet."

Dawn sat up and said, "It is just that I do not want you to be lonely". He reached out to touch her face "I won't be" he longed to confess his love and desire for her, but know was not the right time. Dawn closed her eyes afraid her love for him would show.

Buffy walked into the room "Dawn… oops sorry" Spike dropped his hand and shook his head letting Buffy know he still had not told Dawn how he felt. "Giles is on his way over with Willow and Oz" just then the phone rang Dawn reached for it.

"Hello" she said in the mouthpiece and was met with silence, there was nothing on the line. "Hello" she said again.

"Dawnie" she heard a woman whispered; Buffy saw Dawn's face go completely white as she clutched the phone "Help me" the voice cried into the phone.

"Mom" Dawn cried out Buffy reached for the phone, Dawn let the phone slip from her hands by the time Buffy picked it up the other end was dead. "Dawn who was that?" Buffy asked.

Dawn did not response she began to shake as tears began to flow "It.. It was Mom" Buffy went to say something. But Dawn shook her head taking in Buffy's look of disbelief "Yes it was" she shouted. Dawn began to pace around the room. Angel walked in having heard the shouting, stood rooted to his spot as the room and it's content began to vibrate from an unseen force.

Spike reached for Dawn "Come on relax" he said and he wrapped his arms around her trying to get her to relax. But Dawn was not ready to be comforted.

"It was her Spike, she was asking for help" Buffy did not know how to react, she watched as several pictures fell from the wall unit in the corner. The vase of flowers tumbled to the floor shattering. Spike pulled Dawn close "OK I believe you just breath with me"

Buffy not sure what to do but glad to see Spike calming her sister, she walked out of the room and back into the kitchen. Angel followed "Are you alright?" he asked.

Buffy pored herself a mug of coffee. "Sure, so I guess you know what Dawn special talent is" she said more to her self than anyone. Angel sat down and took her hand.

"When did you find this out?" he asked. Buffy was gazing into her coffee as if she were waiting for it to reveal to her the truths of the world. "I didn't" she said not taking her eyes off her mug. "Spike and Dawn were attached one night and when Dawn saw Spike fighting a losing battle she lost it, she sent 4 vamps air born in to the great white oak, you know the one in the park" when he didn't answer she continued "she used the branches as stakes. Well she pass right out and woke up almost 2 days later, it drains her to use her gift that is why we use it wisely. She has learned how to focus her energy, sometimes like know when she is upset she can not help it"

Angel smiled and said, "That makes sense considering Dawn was created from energy. But where were you when this was all happening" Angel asked confused.

Buffy looked up from her mug and said "I was dead" she stood up and left the kitchen. Just then Giles came threw the back door with the Scooby's in tow. Angel stopped to let him know what happened. They entered the room to find Buffy and Spike arguing. Dawn sat quietly on the coach "Buffy it was her" Dawn said causing them both to stop. Buffy knelt before her sister she opened her mouth to speak but was cut off.

"She called me Dawnie, she asked for help" Dawn said gazing at her sister, her eyes pleading.

Buffy took her hands and offered a small smile "Mom is dead Dawn, she is at peace, it was a cruel joke" Spike moved to speak to Giles and Angel. Willow came to Dawn and wrapped her arms around her dear friend " We'll figure this out Dawn" Buffy squeezed Willow's shoulder thanking her friend.

Angel watched Buffy pull Giles aside to speak to him; soon he saw the watchers eyes flashing with anger. Giles grabbed Buffy by the shoulders and said.

"Are you mad! We have no idea what his plan is or where he is" Giles could tell by the way her shoulders were set there was nothing he could to change her mind. Giles quickly filled the others in on Buffy's plan to hunt Gaven. Buffy crossed her arms and looked at Angel and asked, "I suppose you agree with Giles and the blonde?"

Angel looked at the floor "I think your rushing in, but I will do what I can to help". Spike began to shake his head at Angel's answer.

"Well isn't that stupid" Spike said reaching for a smoke. Buffy stood her ground, "Come on Spike when did you turn into a lets sit and wait kind of guy?" Buffy tossed out sitting down on the steps because she could see them getting ready to argue.

Buffy sat patiently listening to both Spike and Giles list reason after reason why she should let Gaven bring the battle to them, but they did not feel the fire burning her blood.

Once they were done she stood up and said "Ok great points made all around" Buffy grabbed her bag and walked out the front door. Everyone stood in shock Giles was the one to break the silence.

"Don't just stand about Spike, Angel follow her." Buy the time they made it outside she was already pulling out of the driveway. Angel called out to her but she drove off they hopped into Angel car that was parked on the street and made chase.

"You know where she is going don't you?" Angel asked not looking at Spike. "Yep the last place she saw Gaven". The rode in silence until Angel asked, "Do you love her?"

Spike looked at him rolling his eyes he said "Listen man how many times do I have to tell you Buffy and I are" Angel smiled and said "Not Buffy Dawn, do you love Dawn?"

Spike looked at him, he was clearly shocked at Angel's question, "Just what are you talking about?" he asked his mind racing, did Buffy tell him?

"Spike come on I see it in your eyes every time you look at her, I know because I felt the same kind of turmoil that you feel" when Spike remained silent Angel continued.

"Let me give you some advice. Talk to her; be honest, and any thoughts you may have when it comes to the both of you talk to her first. Don't repeat my mistakes" Spike knobbed his head slowly.

They slowed the car as they approached, Buffy who was already walking towards the building called over her shoulder "Hurry up you to or you'll have to find your own way in."

They parked and ran after her. Buffy tried the door it was welded shut. "Looks like the window is the only way" Buffy said pointing to the window.

Both Angel and Spike looked up at the third floor window, the same one Buffy broke escaping with Spike "Bloody hell" Spike muttered watching her scale the tree with speed and precision.

Angel stood back and watched with pride as Buffy climbed the tree. Once at level with the window she swung herself in. He felt desire rush through his system. "Come on lover boy your up next" Spike called out. Angel began his climb "Oh peaches" Spike called out, Angel grunted a response "You might what to adjust your package" Angel swore under his breath.

"Shut up Spike," he said as he swung into the open window. The upper level was dark "Buffy" he called out. "I am over here," she answered he followed her voice.

She was kneeling on the floor and looking at the diagrams that had been watered down. "Some one tried to wash these away, " she said out loud voicing her thoughts.

Spike began to wander around the room when he saw something that made him stop. He reached behind the chair and picked it up "What have you got there Spike?" Angel asked sneaking up on him grabbing the picture from his hand. Angel looked at what he had pulled from Spike. Fear stopped his heart as they both starred at Joyce Summers smiling face.

"Hey what are you all starring at?" Buffy called out seeing both Spike and Angel frozen.

Before Spike could open his mouth Angel grabbed the picture and stuffed it into his pocket "Nothing just looking for clues" he said he eyes warning Spike not to breath a word.

Buffy made one more quick sweep of the upper level leaving Spike and Angel alone. "What are you doing?" Spike demanded giving Angel's shoulder a shove.

"There is no need to upset her, I just want to talk to Giles first" Angel whispered looking over his shoulder. Spike shook his head not liking this whole situation at all. He crossed his arms looking at his grand sire and whispered threw clenched teeth.

"No your making choices for her again and I want no part of it" Spike said walking away.

Angel starred after him "Ready to go" Buffy called out. Angel jumped at the sound of her voice. Buffy noticed the tension between Angel and Spike.

"So what is the problem?" She said looking at Angel, stopping in front of both of them. Angel waited for Spike to spill the beans.

When Angel didn't answer she turned her eyes to Spike. He refused to meet her gaze, Angel moved towards the window "Lets get going". Spike leapt from the window landing silently on the ground followed by Buffy then Angel.

"Spike is everything alright?" Buffy watched him jerk opened her jeep door "Yes everything is fine" he said getting into the jeep slamming the door.

Before she could voice her thoughts Angel spoke up "I'll meet you back at the house" Buffy watched him climb into his car and speed off.

"Ok" she muttered to herself as she climbed into the jeep. Spike refused to look at her. "Spike" she started, he turned on her.

"Do not asked, I am not going to tell you" Buffy sat there and said "Fine" she slammed the car into gear and headed home.

Angel made his way over to Giles office; he knew the watcher was working hard trying to find any information on Gaven. He knocked on the door and waited for a response. Giles finally opened the door, "It's about time," Angel said pushing his way through to enter his office.

Giles shook his head, closing the book he was holing "What can I do for you, where is Buffy?" Angel handed him the picture of Joyce, ignoring his questions.

"Spike found this at Gaven's" Angel watched as Giles sat down in a near by chair.

"Dear God, does Buffy know?" Giles asked looking up at Angel, who had yet to move from his original spot by the window.

Angel shook his head "No I took the picture from Spike and told him not to say anything. I wanted you to see it first"

"Do you think that was wise?" Giles asked still starring at Joyce's picture. "No but I" Angel became flustered "Why cause all that pain, Gaven could have left this to mess with her head" Giles watched Angel draw out the faded images that where on the floor at the warehouse. "These marking were on the floor, they tried to wash them away but it did not work" Angel said.

Giles stood up "And if you are wrong" he asked. Angel walked to the door and opened it "That is what I need you to find out". Giles watched him leave and looked down at the photo "This is not good," he said clutching Joyce's picture.

Buffy stood in front of the mirror playing with her hair. "Wear it up" Willow said as she walked into the room. Buffy smiled to her friend "What is the point I can't even wear the dress that Dawn picked out cuz of these" she fingering a scabbed over bite mark. "Buffy it is not that bad, I am sure we can hide what does show and they will gone before then so stop worrying"

Buffy smiled and said "You never answered me the other night, how are you feeling with the magic?" Willow smiled and said "Good really good" a frown creased her smooth forehead "No that didn't sound right."

Buffy laughed giving her shoulder a shrug "I got ya and OZ how is he?" Buffy watched her friend blush, "We are getting to know each other, we talked the night away, Buffy, I feel so at peace when every we are together" Willow saw the sad smile cross her friends face.

"How are things going with Angel?" she asked stretching out on the bed. Buffy stood up and walked to her closet "Slow I guess, Willow I love him I always have, I keep trying to move forward, trying not to think about what happened with Darla. I keep telling myself, to be logical and to look forward. But he keeps falling back into the past"

Willow sat up and said, "What is the real problem" Buffy came back to the bed "I don't think he sees me as an adult, a woman with a life a career. I mean when there is a difference of opinion he tells me to grow up or to act mature" she went on to tell Willow what had happened last night.

"Willow I do not need Angel to take care of me, I can do that on my own. I need him to trust me, and my abilities. I feel… need him to be my partner not my keeper" she fell back on the bed closing her eyes "other than that things are just fine" she said with a laugh.

"Buffy do you trust Angel?" Willow asked softly. Buffy opened her eyes and went to answer she opened her mouth just to close it. Willow smiled "Yes or no"

Buffy closed her eyes once again "It's both Will, Yes I trust Angel with my life and Dawns but do I trust him to tell the truth when the chips are down.. No. Am I crazy or what?" she asked.

"No not crazy, just give it time how is he dealing with Spike," Willow asked getting comfy on the bed. Buffy groaned "I don't know what to do not to make him jealous, Spike is Spike why can't he see that". Before Willow could answer there was a knock on the door. It was Spike looking for Willow " Can I steal you for a moment luv?" he asked.

Willow turned to her friend "I will be right back" she said getting up from the bed. Once in the hallway Spike grabbed her arm and pulled her into the washroom. She watched him turn on the shower and sink. Finally he turned to her "I am in big trouble" he said sitting on the closed toilet.

Willow reached to turn off the running water but was stopped "No please leave it on I don't want Buffy to hear" She leaned up against the sink "Ok what is going on?" she asked.

Willow watched Spike struggle with this thoughts. Finally he spoke "When we were at the warehouse this morning with Buffy, while I was searching around I found a picture of Joyce beside this ritual circle"

Willow pushed away from the counter and said, "Oh my God what does Buffy think" Spike stood up "That is just it. She doesn't know, Angel took the picture and acted like I never found it. He said he wanted to show it to Giles." Willow was amazed by what she was heard "And you" she started just to have him interrupt "That's right I didn't say anything" Willow sat down on the rim of the tub "Oh my God we have to tell her to warn her".

Spike stood up and turned off all the water "So what do I do" he asked. Willow stood as Spike reached for the door "Ok you find Giles and I will keep her busy" Willow whispered following Spike. Dawn pulled back into her room, having seen them both walk out of the bathroom.

Spike noticed her withdrawing into her room, his hand stopped her door from closing "It is not what you thing luv" he said looking in to her eyes. Before he could say anything more Willow rushed out into the hallway "Spike she is gone" Spike turned to look at her "what do you mean gone" Dawn came out of her room and said "Buffy went for a walk she said that she had to clear her head" Dawn took in the worried expressions.

"Why what is wrong?" she asked clutching Spikes arm. He forced a smile "Nothing to worry about" he turned to Willow and said "Please call Giles" Dawn felt like she had been slapped.

"Spike if something is going on and" he cut her off "Listen love, I don't know yet but when I do you'll be the first to know." And with those words he left her standing in the hallway. Dawn retreated back into her room and slammed the door. "I am so tired of this bull shit," she yelled.

She looked around the room frustrated! She grabbed her jacket and purse and left the room. Willow was too busy on the phone to notice Dawn walk out the front door. Oz who was reading up on Gaven noticed her slip out. He put the book down and made his way to the door ready to follow.

"No Giles we have no idea where she went" Willow knobbed to Giles questions. Spike was in the kitchen fighting with Angel who has just come in the back door.

"You have no right," he yelled at the older man. Angel held his ground "Giles is looking into it" Spike infuriated with his grand sire.

"You don't get it do you if this is something, what ever is coming after Buffy will ware Joyce's face she need to be prepared for that" Angel went to speak but Spike shoved him into the wall slipping into game face "You can not come back here and begin to make choices for her she is not your trophy or the weepy star filled teenager you left, she is the strongest slayer of our time! Treat her accordingly" Angel response was to shove him back his eyes a blaze.

Just then a gust of air separated them "Stop it there is no time for this. Giles is on his way to your place" she said looking at Angel " he knows what ritual was used" Spike turned to Willow. Willow looked suddenly very old "Lets just say that Buffy will be seeing her Moms reflection soon enough". Angel sat down heavily.

"Oh my god we have to find her," Angel whispered. Spike laughed, "So much for protecting her mate. You just signed her death warrant". He walked out the room. Xander exploded threw the door "Buffy…. Buffy" he yelled franticly Willow rushed to meet him leaving Angel in the kitchen.

"What is it?" she asked reaching out to steady him. He was frantic "Where is Buffy?" Willow shook her head "I don't know" He stopped for a moment "OK lets try that again where is Dawn?"

Willow pointed to the stairs as she answered "In her room" he began to shriek for Dawn. When there was no response he charged up the stairs. Willow now joined by Spike and Angel waited. "She is not here," Xander yelled coming down the stairs.

Spike thumped up the stairs as soon as the words came out of Xander's mouth. "Xander what is going on?" Willow demanded grabbing his arm.

Xander took a deep breath "It's Anya she is having the baby, Dawn & Buffy are back up coaches in case I pass out" He suddenly stopped taking, his eyes trained in on Spike worried expression as he came down the steps.

"What is going on where are Buffy and Dawn?" Xander asked looking at Willow. Spike did not stop he went straight out the front door followed by Angel. Willow hugged her friend "Nothing we can't handle let get to the hospital they will join us there shortly"

The sun was just setting and Buffy stood up and brushed off her pants "Thanks mom" she said has she gently brushed the cold tombstone. She began her walk home. She was rounding the corner when her cell went off "Summers" was her response into the mouthpiece.

"Sarg this is Mike" Buffy stopped walking "What is the problem?" she heard him take a deep breath.

"We have a situation here, there seems to be trouble at the old mill warehouse Bill and some others are on route." Mike said looking at the building as he spoke.

Buffy went cold at the mention of the warehouse when she did not saying anything he continued. "There was a call in and the girl they were calling about fit Dawn's description"

Buffy's heart stopped she went into protective mode "Once Bill arrives tell him to secure the area I'll be there in 10 min" she hung up the phone took off running. She slammed into the front door not expecting it to be locked.

It took her a moment to locate her keys once inside Buffy yelled "Dawn" when there was no reply she bounded up the stairs two at a time.

Frantic Buffy ran into Dawns room seeing it empty she hightailed it into her room. Buffy threw open her closet door and tried to remember the lock combination on her safe. Swearing in frustration she punched at the lock splitting it in two. Buffy pulled out her gun, badge, holster and crossbow. Buffy raced to her jeep and took off at a deadly speed.

Once she was on her way she reached for her phone "Shit" she cried "I don't have Angel's number" She cried into the empty car. Buffy punched in Spike's number "Come on" she cried as it rang in her ear.

"Yellow" Spike said into the phone, he was just leaving the cemetery and on his way to the mall in search of Dawn.

"Spike" she cried out as if his voice was a lifeline. Spike grabbed Angel's arm stopping him "Slayer where are you?"

Buffy nearly dropped the phone as she took a sharp turn "On my way to Old Mill Rd" she said taking another turn. "Where is Angel I don't know his cell number."

Spike followed Angel to car saying; "He is here with me" Buffy went on to fill Spike in. Angel watched his face turn to stone "What is wrong?" Angel asked when he got no response from Spike, Angel reached to take the phone from Spikes trembling hand.

"Buffy" he spoke into the mouthpiece, Buffy felt tears flood her eye "Angel oh God I need you!" He helped Spike get in the car. He listen to Buffy, his heart breaking "Ok we will meet you there" Buffy nodded her head as if he could see her. She needed to get her fear under control

"Keep Spike away, this place will be crawling with Cops and if Gaven is behind this" Buffy voice trailed off at the very thought of what Gaven might do to her sister.

Buffy heard Angel telling her to hang tight he would be there soon, and with those words they ended the call. Buffy pulled up to the lot, she reached for her cross bow and got out of the jeep. She secured the holster to her upper thigh and slid the crossbow in place. Buffy reached for her longer jacket from the back seat she did the buttons up as she made her way to Bill.

"What do we know?" she asked taking charge of the situation. Bill reached for her arm and led her away from the group.

"We had a call in about a Wild dog attacking someone, the caller said they saw the girl fitting Dawns description running towards the building followed by the wild dog and the what looked like to be" he stopped and leaned into her "Are you ready for this clocked guys with yellow eyes" Bill finished the sentence with a shake to his head.

Buffy turned to look at the building. "Buffy" she turned to look at Angel who was alone having just arrived. "Where is" she started to ask but he cut her off gently.

"I dropped him off at the hospital to stay will Willow" Angel said his eyes followed her to scan the dark warehouse.

Buffy turned back to Bill "Ok has anyone tried to get in the building" Angel stepped back and watched her with growing pride, he knew she was terrified that Dawn might be in danger but she was being a professional.

"No Sarg apparently the only way in is threw that window, the eye witness saw the wild dog pick the girl up and jump the 2 stories into the open window. They were followed by the leaping cloak guys with yellow eyes," he said trying to keep a straight face.

Buffy had to get these guys out of here so she could get inside. Angel watched Buffy smile and say "Bill get these guys out of here, have them add this to the drive by patrol. I'll secure the buildings perimeter and head out." Bill went to offer his assistance. Buffy held up her hand "I need you to go with the men and keep everything in order, I'll be by to file the report" Angel took in Bill's deflated look almost feeling sorry for the man.

Angel could feel the tension radiating off of Buffy's body. She watched as the three cruisers left.

When he could no longer see the taillights he turned to Buffy. She was already scaling the tree to the one and only open window. Angel was taken back by her speed and agility. He followed her silently. Buffy quietly pulled off her coat, she released the snap strap that held the cross bow to her lower body. He watched her reach for a stake, he took what she offered. They began to work there way through the building.

As they approached the basement Buffy stopped as she heard a scuffling sound "I heard it to" he whispered into her ear. Just then Angel and Buffy were thrown to the floor in a flash of fur. Both fighters rolled with the impact and were back on there feet in an instant.

"Find Dawn and get out," she said just before she was taken down again. Angel watched for a moment listening to the noises of fighting. Buffy tried to make out what she was fighting, it was defiantly an animal. She was aware that Angel left in search of Dawn. Buffy rolled with the dog when suddenly a light came on above them.

Buffy caught her breath as she starred into the face of the animal. Before her mind could scream WOLF she saw the face simmer and change in the blink of an eye and OZ was before her sporting a half smile.

"Sorry didn't know it was you" Oz said letting go of Buffy's arm. Buffy glad to see her friend asked, "What are you doing here?" Oz helped Buffy to her feet. She listened quietly as he told her what happened. Buffy wanted to kiss him "Oz thank you" she started just to have Dawn rush into the room "Buffy Gaven is outside" Angel was close behind there eyes met and locked.

"Angel I need you to get Dawn to my car" she turned to Oz "Go with Angel and get back to the house" Buffy picked up her cross bow and checked it for damage.

Angel stepped in front of her "I am not going to let you go out there alone" he started. Buffy snapped "For the love of heaven, Angel do as I say!"

Angel was split in two if she faced Gaven know and saw Joyce would she be able to handle it so he quickly said. "Buffy you don't understand."

Buffy reloaded her crossbow and said "Just get them to the car" she turned her back to him walked out of the room. Angel looked trapped. Oz knowing the situation turned to him and said "I'll get us out you watch her back" he turned to Dawn.

"Are you ready" Dawn smiled and said "You betcha" OZ stepped away from the group, Angel was amazed as he watched the transformation begin if he had blinked he would have missed it. Dawn slowly approached the man wolf, Oz turned quickly and scooped her up in his arms and leaped from the room with speed that was breath taking.

Buffy approached the band of Vampires "Gaven love how are you?" she asked as she leaned against the tree. Two Vamps advanced towards her but were stopped by Gaven; he took a step in her direction.

"Buffy" he said sweetly "I have missed you" they slowly began to circle each other "We have to stop meeting like this" Angel watched Buffy toss the cross bow to the ground. Soon they were to involve with each other to notice anyone else. Buffy was a little take back at the speed Gaven moved at, he was a worthy opponent, not to be under estimated. Buffy pivoted on her right foot sending out her left in a sharp kick, which hit its mark. Gaven's face reared back from the impact a trickle of blood ran down from his mouth.

Buffy coming off from her kick was met with his fist, she was able to step back, to lessen the impact, and the blow was a mighty one. His knuckles connected with her brow bone, splitting the skin just above her eye.

Suddenly Gaven pulled back "That is enough for know, Angel stop hiding" he said as he adjusted his shirt. His tongue sneaking out to lick up his own blood, Angel stepped out of the shadows.

Just then Spike, Giles and Willow broke out of the trees, Spike fired two arrows. Gaven stepped back as clouds of ash surrounded him. Buffy took a step back as well.

"Slayer the next time we meet it will be the end, and you will be mine and they" he said with a knob toward the Giles and the others "Will be dead".

Buffy smiled wiping the blood from her eye "I don't thinks so but I am looking forward to it".

Angel step forward with Spike, Gaven smiled and said "Boy's Boys there is enough for everyone" Willow watched with amazement as Gavin's eyes went from a clear green to a blazing inferno. Willow could see he chanting, but was unable to make out the words.

Giles felt a force lift him and send him flying into the wall. Buffy and Willow were also knocked off there feet. Willow collided into Giles, his arms wrapping around her to break her fall. Buffy did not have suck luck as she was sent into the trunk of the large maple tree. The air rushed out of her body leaving her dazed as pain sliced through her body.

The only ones remaining on there feet were Angel, Spike and Gaven. The three collided Gaven lunged at Spike, "You will die slowly for killing Drusilla" Angel moved with lighting speed pushing Spike out of they way, at the same time bring out the stake that Buffy had given to him smashing it into his chest _"Bulls eye"_ he thought to himself.

Gaven took a step back looking at the wood protruding from his chest. He threw back his head and laughed. Buffy who struggling to her feet while trying to take a deep breath watched as he reached for the stake pulling it free from his body he tossed it to the ground and grabbed Angel by the cuffs of his jacket.

"It will take more than that to hurt me boy" he spat in Angel's face as his face shimmered showing the demon that laid within. "I still have the taste of your slayer in my mouth" and with those words he was gone.

Angel exploded with fury, Giles made his way over to Buffy to help her to her feet. "What you guy's did was really stupid" she said once she was able to take a deep breath.

Giles placed a hand on her shoulder "Buffy we need to talk" he said. She tried to smile "I need to know why Gaven is not blowing in the wind as we speak. Angel staked him clean?"

They began to make there way over to the cars, when she stopped "I need to go back into the building I left my Jacket and cross bow case" she made her way back to the tree, her body protested with each step "They really need a door" she muttered to her self. They watched her enter the window.

"How are we going to tell her?" Willow asked as she rummaged in her bag for something to stop the flow of blood from Buffy's eye.

Giles removed his coat, Spike stepped forward "We just tell her, no need to candy coat it, it will be a shock"

Angel closed his eye's before he went to speak, suddenly he felt a shiver run down his spine "Something is wrong" he said running for the tree that would grant him access to the building.

Buffy found her jacket on the ground she bent to pick it up "Buffy Ann Summers how many times have we discussed you leaving your things all over the place" Buffy's blood ran cold, she slowly turned towards the voice that she had known her whole life.

"Mom" she whispered. Joyce took a step into the moonlight that came from the window.

"Yes it's me, oh Buffy I have missed you so much" she said rushing forward Buffy was in shock her mind shut down "Mom" she cried wrapping her arms around the woman. Joyce hugged the slayer she could smell her blood running from her wound, her face began to shift.

Angel slowly entered the window followed by Spike and the others. Angel stood for a few moments letting his eyes adjust to the darkness, he opened himself up trying to find Buffy. Once they were all inside Angel and Spike led the way.

"Mom how" Buffy was still unable to form words, she had wished for this a million times since her mothers passing. When Joyce did not answer Buffy tried to pull away "Mom"

Finally the silence was broken "Buffy I have to say I thought you would become more than what you are. You have managed to disappointment me yet again" An old hurt blossomed in Buffy. She tried to step back but her mother would not release her.

"You see dear if you were any good at what you do, you wouldn't have failed me and made me what I am today" Before Buffy could answer she heard Angel speak.

"Let her go" he voice was as cold as steel, Joyce looked at Angel, "Oh look who is back, and smelling all human" she said.

Angel took a step forward. "That is close enough" she spat lowering her head to Buffy's shoulder.

Buffy saw something moving in the shadows Spike appeared before her ready to strike her mother.

"Spike NO" she yelled, Joyce spun around releasing her. Buffy fell to the ground shocked she watched as both Spike and Angel advanced on her mother. Buffy jumped to her feet ready to protect her family.

"Stop it" she said as the grabbed Spike around the waist shoving him away. Just then the room was flooded with light. For the first time Buffy saw her mother. Buffy felt her earth shatter, her mother a vampire.

"Do you see what you did to me?" Vampire Joyce cried. Buffy was frozen in her pain as her mind screamed. "You damned me to hell you ungrateful Bitch" Joyce swiped at Buffy with her claws. Buffy felt no pain as the skin on her chest split.

Giles reached for his slayer as Angel tackled the vampire from behind. Buffy felt arms surround her she felt warmth against her back, but she was lost in a state of confusion. "Mom" she murmured before everything went black.

Giles scooped her up in his arms and made his way out of the room. Angel wrestled with the vampire. Joyce struck Angel in the chest sending him to the floor; She turned and fled flying out the broken window into the night. Willow helped him to his feet. He turned in just enough time to have Spike fist connect with his jaw. "That is for nearly getting her killed". Giles who had come back into the room said, "Fight about it later we need to get out of here."

Angel took the lead glaring at Spike "How are we going to her down" Giles asked. Angel stepped forward and reached for his slayer. Giles held her tighter for a moment and hesitantly released her. Spike watched as he cradled her to his chest.

"I'll go down first, Willow jump and I will catch you" Spike said as he leaped from the window. Willow watched him sail through the air. He landed gently on the hard earth. He turned and smiled at her "Come on luv" he said.

Giles helped her climb out the window Giles followed. Angel sat on the window frame he gently kissed her cold check "I am sorry beloved" Every one held there breath as he sailed threw the air they all smiled when he landed with no problems.

Oz watched Dawn pace the floor "Why are they not back yet" she went for the door, but Xander rushed in "Come on in it is time" he grabbed her hand and pulled her into the room "Look Anya, Dawn is here" Anya who looked exhausted.

"I told you to get the hell away from me it's your fault I'm in this pain," she wailed as a contraction sized her. Dawn took over trying to comfort her friend.

"Dawnie get it out I can't any more it hurts to much" Anya whispered as her friend wiped her face. "You just need to relax and breath, it will be all over soon."

Oz smiled at Xander as they slipped out of the room. Oz walked over to the window and gazed out at the dark night "Are you worried " Xander asked as he leaned his head against the cool glass pane. Oz turned to look at him "No not yet in another hour yes I will be worried"

The ride home was quite one, Angel sat with Buffy wrapped in his arms. Giles was the first to speak "What are we going to tell Dawn"

Spike answered "The truth, we can't hide something like this, it almost got Buffy killed" Spikes eyes met Angels in the mirror. Once back at the house Giles and Willow helped a now conscious Buffy clean her self up.

"I have never been so beaten up in all my years as a slayer," she said pulling on a shirt. Willow stepped forward "Buffy I am so…"

Buffy cut her off with a hug "It's ok Will" she turned to Giles "Just answer me one thing" Giles prepared himself for her anger "Did Angel know about this" When no one answered she walked out of the room "Spike" she called out.

"He is on the phone" Angel said she looked him in the eye " Did you know that my mom was a vampire" Angel went to speak when Spike interrupted "We all new, we just wanted to make sure it really was Joyce not some clone or something"

Buffy just shook her head still in shock; she did not know how to react. Giles and Willow had joined them in the living room "We still don't know Buffy" Giles interjected.

"Why did no one tell me? " she cried tears filling her eyes as she looked at her family as if they where strangers.

Angel was to shocked to speak they had defended him. Spike had covered for him. Buffy fought for control. He watched her pull her emotion back.

"I have to find Dawn I can't deal with this right know" She walked out of the room and went in search of her keys. Spike looked at Giles "She is doing it again she is not dealing with her feeling."

Angel sat down on the chair "Just give her time to process what is going on" He looked at them all "Thank you for not hanging me out to dry"

Giles said "If it were me I am not sure if I would have told her right away so I really can't pass judgment on you" Spike remained silent.

Buffy re entered the room and said "I am going to the hospital, you'll need to drive yourselves, I have to go to the office right after" With those words she walked out the front door. Spike decided to follow, Buffy watched him climb into her jeep "Spike I need to be alone right now."

"No you don't," he said getting comfortable. Buffy just shook her head and pulled out of the driveway. "Buffy that wasn't Joyce you know that right" Buffy sighed, "Yes my head is aware of that, my heart is another story" They pulled into the hospital parking lot. She shut the car off and turned to look at her friend.

"How am I going to tell Dawn" Buffy whispered her eyes filling as she remember her mother face full of hatred.

Spike smiled "Would you like me to tell her" Buffy reached for her bag "No no I will do it". There was a knock on her window the noise startled her.

Buffy's eyes found Angel's face smiling at her "Come on you two, you're steaming up the windows"

Angel pulled open the door to help her out "oh yeah with his bad breath maybe" she snorted Spike joining in the friendly banter.

"Watch it slayer" Buffy reached for Angel's hand. His heart nearly stopped when he felt her fingers circle his. She looked deeply into his deep chocolate brown eyes "I need you" she said, drawing strength from him. Angel smiled straight threw to his soul "I am yours"

A/N Let me know what you think, thank you to all of you that reviewed. Your words truly inspire me


	13. Chapter 13

A/N Chapter 13 is up… I hope you like it, I am still flying without a beta reader, (Does anyone know where I can find one)

This Chapter is dedicated to **pinkyblue-ice **You are amazing!

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Chapter 13

Everything was a blur from that point on. Buffy helped Xander stay on his feet, Dawn was wonderful with Anya. Buffy watched with wonder as Anya and Xander's little miracle came to this world. _This is what it is all about_ she thought as she watch it take it's first breath. Buffy felt Xander close his arms around her and cried "She is so beautiful" Buffy closed her eyes on the tears that threatened to fall "Just like her dad" she whispered.

They released each other and Buffy watched as Dawn passed the precious bundle to Xander who gazed down loving at his daughter. "I am your daddy," he cried softly.

Buffy kissed Anya on the check "Great job mom she is beautiful" Anya smiled tiredly her eyes on her husband and child "Go tell everyone everything is alright" she asked wanting a moment alone with her new family.

Buffy and Dawn walked out of the room leaving the two new parent to get acquainted with there new arrival. "Good job in there Dawn" Buffy said squeezing her sister's shoulder causing Dawn to laugh and say "You did a great job with Xander it was touch and go there a few times" the memory of Xander turning pale and swaying on his feet caused both girls laughed.

Buffy let Dawn recount the wonder they had both witnessed. Xander came out with his daughter as if on cue. He brought her to everyone individually and made introductions. They followed him back to Anya's private room she looked to be sleeping Willow stopped at the door. Her eyes flew open "Come in."

Spike groaned loudly tired of waiting in the hallway; he shoved Oz who in turn pushed into Willow. Xander walked in flanked by Buffy who currently held the baby. Angel behind her just in case she tripped. Buffy sat next to Anya "Would you like to have her?" she asked never taking her eyes from the sleeping creature in her arms. Anya smiled and said "No it is all right I get to keep her" Buffy smiled.

Angel took in the picture they made, he felt so consumed by love he thought he would surly burst. Giles sat back and took in his family; _How my children have grown_ he thought to him self. He focused on Buffy he saw the joy and wonderment of what she held began to fully register in her brain. He also saw the sadness that lurked there. Angel had noticed Giles intense stare of his slayer.

Buffy felt herself being watched looked up and met Giles gaze, she smiled and blinked away the tears. Spike stood off to the side almost hiding, Buffy stood up and looked at Xander he knobbed his head and took the baby from Buffy and walked over to his friend.

"Spike would you like to hold the baby?" Spike looked ready to jump out of his skin "No uh I mean uh maybe if it is ok?" Spike said stumbling over his words. Xander gently laid the sleeping bundle in his out stretched arms. Spike felt an emotion well deep inside of his chest. The sudden surge of such a strong emotion brought tears to Spikes eyes. It made him feel almost human. He did not care when a single tear slid down his face.

Xander went to sit next to Anya. He looked deeply into his wife's eyes. "I guess we should tell them?" Anya smiled and laid her head on his shoulder. Willow smiled and asked, "Tell us what?"

Spike slowly walked over to a chair and sat down his eyes never leaving the face of the angel he was holding. Anya spoke up this time "Careful Spike we wouldn't want you to drop your God daughter."

Spike looked up in shock "My what?" Xander took Anya's hand his eyes on his friend and said "Your God Daughter, Anya and I would like for both you and Dawn to stand as her God Parents.

Dawn rushed to the bed and hugged Xander then Anya. "We would be honored," she cried. Spike was speechless all he could do was nod his head.

Willow finally broke the comfortable silence "What is her name?" Anya who had fallen a sleep started to snore gently. Xander looked at his wife and thought he would die from the rush of feeling that attached his heart. "We will decide that tomorrow," he offered.

Giles spoke up, "It late, let the new parents get some rest" he ushered everyone out. Xander stopped Buffy as she walked by "Buff" Angel watched from the doorway, Xander pulled Buffy into his arms "Thank you," he said, she smiled and returned the hug. "I love you and I am so proud of you," she cried.

Xander pulled away "Hey those had better be happy tears" he said passing her a tissue. Buffy gulped down a cry and said "Yes," she squeezed his arm and said 'Get some sleep and we will see you tomorrow" she smiled weakly at Angel as she passed.

They were all in the lobby. Buffy glanced at her watch 2:30am. Looking at Spike and Angel she motioned for them to follow. "I have to stop by the office for about 20mins. Spike, take Dawn home and do not let her out of your sight. Angel I need you to hit the street and get any info on my mo.." she stuttered "this vamp". We will meet at the house. Buffy walked out of the hospital and to her car.

Dawn turned to Spike and said. "What is going on?" he watched the joy of the evening fad from her beautiful eyes. Spike tried to smile, "Just give me some time and I will explain it all" Dawn opened her mouth to protest. He placed a finger on her lips to silence her "Trust me" was all he said.

Dawn felt a rush of heat flood her system, before she could stop herself she kissed his finger. Spike's eyes widened at her reaction. He let his hand glide slowly to her cheek to cup her face while he moved his other hand to the back of her neck. Dawn was completely caught up in the moment. Angel who had watched Buffy pull out of the parking lot turned in time to see Spike pull Dawn close.

The world was gone the only two standing were Dawn and Spike. Dawn leaned into him her breath fanned his checks. Spike closed the remaining gap between them. His lips covered hers, she felt the earth drop away, his tongue gently traced the lining of her lips, Dawns mouth opened in invitation. The kissed seem to last forever. It was Spike who finally pulled away. Shyness washed over Dawn as her eyes met his. He gently let his lips brush hers again. "Trust Me," he whispered.

Angel smiled he turned to his car and saw Giles frown. He unlocked the doors "Problem Giles?" he asked. Giles met his gaze, the watchers eyes where hard. "No I just do not want history to repeat itself," he said climbing into the car. Before he could respond Dawn and Spike climbed in.

Buffy sat at her desk, looking at a picture of Joyce. "Oh Mom" she sighed gently touching her smiling face. Buffy reached for the file she was working on, she finished it off and made a quick swept of her mail box and was on her way out. She made her way to the car park when she noticed someone sitting in her car.

Buffy pulled the door open and said "Lindsey are you looking to get killed?" he look distraught. "What is it?" Buffy asked touching his shoulder. Lindsey tried to smile. "I need to tell you a few things, can we go somewhere and have a coffee or something?" she signed and walked around to her side and climbed in.

The ride to the Pump House was a quiet one it was the only thing open at this hour. Once seated Buffy said, "Ok what is on your mind?" He closed his eyes and said.

"I heard Gaven and Darla talking" this caught Buffy's attention. "Lindsey we should go back to my place Giles" he cut her off shaking his head. "No Buffy I am leaving Sunnydale" Buffy opened her mouth to speak, but was stopped by his hand. "I can not be around her when she is like this, she is a completely different person, and I do not like her very much."

Buffy interrupted reaching to take his hand "Darla is under Gaven's control" Lindsey waited until the waitress walked away from the table having put there drinks down.

"I know that and that is why I have to leave before permanent damage is done, she.." he stopped " I can not be around her, Buffy she is going to go after Angel. I heard her talking to Gaven he said she is to seduce him so he can get to you, he has a big gun I don't know what it is. They never said its name"

Buffy's mind was racing _Mom_ it has to be mom she thought. "Did you hear anything else?" she asked, he nodded his head "Yes, Gaven is going after Dawn, he will get at Spike through her"

Terror clutched her heart "Darla must have told him about Spikes feeling for Dawn" Lindsey shook his head in agreement. Buffy stood up and took his hand she truly felt for this man "Thank you and I am so sorry" Lindsey tried to smile. "Darla is a lot of things, but since she has been human she has tried to be a good person. I wish you could have seen that. I love her Buffy, please try and keep her safe. She is not herself".

Buffy squeezed his hand "I will do my best" was all she could offer. The drive home was a blur. Buffy burst into the house calling for Giles. "What is it?" he asked rushing forward.

"We need a meeting right now who is here?" she asked hanging up her coat. Giles informed here that Willow and Oz had gone back to her place so it was just Dawn, Spike and Angel, they where in the family room. Giles followed her into the kitchen he watched her prepare coffee and call Willow.

Giles went to gather the remaining Scooby's. All were sitting at the table by the time she hung up the phone. "I filled Willow in she will be by tomorrow" Buffy said sitting down.

Spike was the first to speak, he took in the tense shoulders and resolved expression "How bad is it?" he asked. Buffy looked them each in the eye before speaking.

"Lindsey has left, Darla is now with Gaven. He over heard some things which he passed on to me." Angel leaned forward "What kind of things" Buffy took a deep breath and began to pass on the information. Buffy watched Angel's face turn to a pale white at the mention of the seduction.

She stopped she could not speak any longer. Spike leaned into her, "Slayer what is?" Buffy looked at him and said "There coming after Dawn" Dawn sat up "What.. Why me?" she stammered. Spike stood up, Buffy continued looking at Spike "I'll leave the two of you alone to discuss this" Buffy stood up followed Angel and Giles and left the kitchen.

Dawn looked at Spike her confusion clearly written on her face. "Spike why me?" she whispered. Dawn took in his tense shoulders "Spike" she called out once more. Spike turned to look at her "Dawn " he said sitting back down taking her hand.

"It is you because Gaven knows that it would kill me if anything happened to you." Dawn shook her head not understanding "But you would feel that way if anything happened to Willow or Buffy" she stammered remember their kiss. Spike stood up and walked to the window the sun was just coming over the hills.

"Yes that is true" he said "But I am not in love with Buffy or Willow" Dawn sat there waves of joy washed over her. _Spikes in love with me!_ Her heart sang. It took a moment for her to realize that he was still speaking.

"You love me?" she cried. Spike turned to look at her "Yes Pet I do. I always have I just." he stopped when he saw the tears fall from her eyes. "I'm sorry. Please don't cry love," he said unsure of what to do.

Dawn stood up and walked over to where he stood she placed both her hands on his face looking deep into his eyes. "I love you too," she cried kissing his lips. Buffy smiled from the doorway. She turned to Giles who was putting his coat.

"You're leaving?" she asked. Giles stopped looking at her "I take it you are aware of what is going on between those too." He said reaching for his coat. Buffy sighed and went to stand in front of him her hands resting on his chest. "Giles they love each other, they will make it work somehow" Buffy offered softly, she rested her head on her hands.

Giles starred at Spike and Dawn as they held each other. "Buffy I am afraid for her, her life is only starting" he said shaking his head. Buffy lifted her head to look at him.

"They are not us Giles, they have a right to their love, let not make things harder then it will be" Giles could not help the smile that came to his mouth.

"I will be back later I have some books I need, get some rest please" he kissed her and left.

Buffy locked the door, and called out "I am going to sleep, Dawn, Spike you do not leave without tell me please" Buffy walked by the living room and saw Angel sitting down holding his head.

"Angel" she whispered touching his shoulder. "Is everything alright?" he looked up into her eyes. "Is this never going to end?" he asked.

Buffy tried to smile but failed "Eventually we just have to pull together. She can't hurt unless we let her" Angel took her hand kissing it. Buffy stood up and gave his hand a gentle tug pulling him to his feet. He followed her silently up the stairs and into her room.

"Lets take a nap," she said releasing his hand and walked into the washroom, Angel pulled the covers back and closed the blinds shutting out the daylight. Buffy emerged wearing a long t-shirt, she climbed into bed and said "Your going to sleep in your Jacket?"

Angel smiled held up a finger, Buffy watched as he left the room, he came back in with a small bag and retraced her steps to the washroom. Buffy's eyes opened with the sound of the door opening, she saw Angel make his way to the bed, he pulled back the covers and climb in, he gently pulled Buffy to his body fitting her body against his.

"When are you going to tell Dawn?" he asked while he drew lazy circles on her back. Buffy signed and said "Let her have her happy moment, I'll tell her this evening" They both fell silent as sleep finally came.

Gaven felt the sun rising, and he began to pace the halls of the cavern. He stopped ever so often to look at his followers that were spread out like sheep some on the floor, sitting on the furniture or leaning on up against the wall. They were waiting for instructions. Soon he thought.

Dawn sat in the circle of Spikes arms. Spike felt ready to explode. "Lean back luv and gets some rest" Dawn did as she was told feeling safe and sound in the arms of the person she loved.

Oz watched as Willow meditated she had changed so much since the last time he had seen her. She was a woman, and for reasons he could not explain he loved her all the more.

"I can't breath if you keep starring at me" she sighed opening her eyes. "Sorry" he laughed. "So are you going to tell me how Spike took it?" he asked.

Willow stretched out on the floor "It wasn't like that; don't get me wrong I love Spike, but we were not in love each other. We came together at a low point in both our lives, yes we were intimate, he was a kind and gentle lover, but he wasn't…" she seemed to drift off.

Oz sat next to her "Wasn't what?" he asked almost afraid to here the answer. Willow looked at him letting her love for him show. "He wasn't you".

Didn't matter which way Angel turned he could not block out the sunlight, groaning he threw back the covers. Buffy had gotten up an hour ago telling him to rest.

Angel stumbled his way to the bathroom and turned on the shower. Twenty minutes later he was sitting at the table nursing a mug of coffee and munching on a cream cheese bagel, reading the paper.

"It is to quiet in good ol' sunny hell" he said out loud. He glanced at the clock above the sink wondering when Buffy and Spike would finish up their training session. Half an hour later he heard them climb the stairs. "Morning" Spike said as he came through the door.

Buffy smiled her hello "You should have woken me up I would have enjoyed the workout" Angel said to Buffy. He watched as she poured a glass of OJ and sat down "You needed to sleep, plus you looked so cute lying there" she said. Spike who was standing in the doorway smiling at the two of them, he was happy to see Buffy was getting comfortable with Angel.

"I'm going to jump in the shower and check on Dawn" Spike said making his way down the hall. Buffy shook her head and called out "Let her sleep" he waved a hand to her before turning the corner to head upstairs.

"So is everything alright?" Angel asked. Buffy shrugged her shoulders "It will be they have no more secrets. They no longer have to hide what they are feeling. I have no worries, Spike will take good care of Dawn, whatever comes they will learn to deal with it".

Angel smiled shaking his head and said, "That's great, but I was asking about you" Before Buffy could answer they heard Spike yell from above them.

"No dear God No" Spike's cried bounced off the walls above them. Buffy pushed away from the table and bounded up the stairs with Angel on her heels. "What is it?" she cried running into Dawns room. Fear sized Buffy when she saw the room was empty.

"Spike where is Dawn?" Spike sat down on the bed in shock. Angel grabbed the note he held in his hands and read it "Went to see our new God Daughter, didn't want to bother you and Buffy Love Dawn" Buffy looked at Spike he seemed frozen.

"Call Xander at the hospital. Then hang up and call Giles and Willow" she turned and walked out of the room. Angel put his hand on Spikes shoulder and said; "Lets not worry until we have reason" Spike began to pull on clothes. Angel walked out when he picked up the phone.

Angel made his way down the hall to Buffy's room he knocked gently, when he got no response he opened the door "Buffy" he called out. She walked out of bathroom; she had changed into black jeans and black t-shirt.

"Where are you going?" he asked talking in her resolved expression. He had seen it before; it means no matter what you say or do I am going to do what ever I have to do. She did not answer he watch her walk into the closet and pull open the safe. She pulled out her pistol and checked her ammo and slid it in its holster.

"I am going to find my sister" Buffy said not looking at him. Angel stood up blocking her path to the door. "Buffy no one is talking this town is sealed tight"

She looked him in the eye and said "I will find a way, she has no idea that a vamp is running around with mom's face on it or that Gaven can move around in the daylight"

Angel tried to comfort her and offered "She might have made it to Xander she might be safe" Buffy looked away and said "Well we will know soon enough" Buffy and Angel went in search of Spike he was just hanging up the phone, "Well" she asked Spike looked like he was ready to collapse "No one has seen her"

He seemed to look at her for the first time noticing how she was dressed "I am going with you" Buffy nodded her head in agreement and turned to Angel. "Angel do you have any fighting clothes with you" she asked taking in his track pants and t-shirt.

"Yes back at the mansion" he said already moving for his jacket and keys. Buffy said, "Ok go get changed meet me back here, please hurry" Angel left just as Willow and Oz pulled in.

Dawn walked lazily through the mall, all was right with the world. Spike loved her, so that meant no more hiding or pretending. She could love him openly with no worries.

"Oh Mom I wish you were here to see this" she signed to herself. She had stopped off at the mall to buy a present for her new God Daughter. She was walking past the public washrooms when she heard someone crying, she looked down the long hallway.

"Hello" she called out, walking slowly toward the EXIT door. The crying seemed to get louder, it sounded like a woman she had reached the door when suddenly something was thrown over her head, she saw a flash of light and then nothing.

Angel made it back to the house in record time, he looked stunning, predatory male flowed off of him in waves. Buffy took in his leather-clad legs, boots and black shirt her mouth went dry. He came to stand beside her.

Buffy had to force her eyes away to look at Giles "Giles you know what to do, Willow" each of them nodded Buffy took her keys from Angel. "Spike we are ready to move" she called out. Spike was just as wanting in leather, Giles watched them leave once the door was closed he looked at the people in the room "Ok lets move like we have a purpose"

The sun was just beginning to set when Buffy walked into Willies Bar. Every creature in the bar stopped, Buffy walked into the middle of the room and said "Angel please lock the door." Willie came out from behind the bar with his hands in the air.

"Slayer no need to get aggressive, I have already told you" If Angel had blinked he would have missed it. Buffy sized Willie by the throat picking him up off his feet then crashed him on top of the bar, the patron at the bar jumped from his seat.

"Maybe I have not been asking you the right way Willie," she whispered into his face. "Listen up everyone" she called out never taking her eyes from Willie. "I need the following information, and one of you" she said letting her eyes travel the room "is going to give it to me or none of you are getting out of here alive."

Angel notice how the demons/vampires glared at Spike. In their eyes he was a traitor. Buffy turned her attention back to Willie, "Where is Gaven?" She asked. Willie who was trying desperately to get out of her hold cried "Slayer I told you" before he could finish what he was saying Buffy reached down and grabbed one of his hand, she gripped his pinky finger and snapped it in half breaking the bone. He howled in pain she gripped the 2nd "You have 9 more to go before I reach your arms"

Before anyone could speak a sloth demon ran for the door. Angel brought him down in mid stride, his head rolled under a table while his body twitched on the floor.

Ten Fingers, two broken wrists and 7 vampires later, they made there way out of the bar. They were exhausted, and smelled of death. They made there way back to the house. There was so much to do before the sun came up.

Buffy open the door to the house and was met by anxious gazes. Giles was the first to speak "Anything" Spike was the first to respond. "Yes he is hiding in the caverns at the edge of town." Angel put his hand on Buffy shoulder "We leave at first light."

Buffy walked to the kitchen, Giles found her preparing Coffee. "Buffy" he started, before he could say anything else, she turned into him and wrapped her arms around his waist. Giles closed his arms around her and said "It will be alright, we will get her out in one piece" Buffy whispered into his chest "I am so scared Giles, I mean more scared then the Master or Glory scared"

Giles gently rubbed her back, he said nothing wanting her to finish "I know it's not mom Giles, but…" she trailed off. Giles gently pulled away. "I know this is hard and cruel but it will pass and we will prevail". Buffy tried to smile "Dawn must be scared out of her mind, if anything" he cut her off "Dawn can and will protect herself at all costs, she is smart and quick thinking".

Buffy let her arms drop after a brief squeeze. "Thanks for the pep talk, but I need a shower and you need to get a game plan" Buffy walked into her room and stood there quietly, Willow gently pushed the door open "Buffy" she called out.

Buffy turned to look at her friend, Willow placed a hand on her should "I would like to try something" Buffy just knobbed her head Willow called out for Giles. Both Buffy and Willow sat on the floor. Giles entered the room and sat on the bed. Willow took her hands and said "Think of Dawn" Buffy closed her eyes. She let her mind wander.

Dawn felt the cold earth beneath her, she opened her eyes slowly, and it was dark and smelt horrible. She slowly moved her legs and arms _no pain that's a good sign _she thought. As soon as she moved her head it began to throb. "Shit" she whispered bring her hand to her head.

"Dawnie" someone called, Dawn glanced to her left where the voice came form. "Dawn" someone cried. Dawn forced her eyes focus, she saw a woman crumpled on the dirt floor.

"How do you know my name?" she asked. The woman sat up still in the shadow, "You've grown so much" Dawn struggled to her feet, the woman's voice sent shivers up her spine.

"It can't be" she cried stepping towards the voice she had known her whole life. The Woman sat there waiting, Dawn reached down and pulled the woman to her feet and into the light. "Mom" she cried hugging her mother to her body. Tears of joy fell from her eyes. "Oh my God we need to get to Buffy"

The Joyce double pulled out of Dawn's arms crying "NO, it is her fault that I am like this" Dawn stepped back from her; she gasped as she watched her mothers face change into a vampire visage.

Giles watched in silence as a white orb of light began to glow around both Buffy and Willow. Buffy felt like she was flying, "Call to her" Willows voice filled her head. Buffy focused on Dawn gently calling. Dawn suddenly felt Buffy she new better then to draw attention to herself.

"Buffy, you will never believe it" Dawn called out within her mind. Buffy felt her sister joyous pain and new instantly she was with Joyce. "She is not our mother Dawn get a way from her"

Suddenly Gaven broke in "Slayer we keep meeting like this I am liable to think you _do_ like me" Gaven's laughter filled her head "I will be coming for her and you" Buffy said her voice deadly his laughter died "I am counting on it" Willow slumped forward completely exhausted.

Buffy opened her eyes; Giles was helping Willow get to her feet. "I will be back," he said helping Willow out of the room to Oz who was waiting.

"Giles I am tired can it wait until morning, I just want to get a few hours rest" he took in her haggard appearance "Ok" he said "Giles" she called out "Keep them downstairs for a bit" he looked at her his eyes filling with fear but he nodded "I will do my best".

Buffy closed the door and leaned against it. She walked to the closet and pulled out a pair of black stretch pants and her black leather ankle boots. She went to the bathroom and pulled her hair from her face. She quietly pulled her clothes on and she loaded herself up with weapons in the hidden slots within her clothes and boots. She opened her window and slipped out, she made her escape into the night. Giles sat down stairs he new if he went up stairs she would be gone.

Spike came into the kitchen wanting to comfort the watcher "I am going after her Giles" he said. The watcher lifted his gaze saying nothing, realization hit Spike hard "Bloody hell" he said scrambling out of his chair and down the hall to the stairs. Giles heard Buffy's door bounce off her wall "Giles" Spike stomped down the stairs "Buffy is gone Giles she went out there all alone" he shouted.

Angel came rushing into the room "Who is gone?" he asked "Buffy" Spike said, "Buffy is gone" Angel turned on his heel "lets go" he called over his shoulder.

"How long has she been gone?" Spike asked. "Giles Please" he said when the watcher did not respond; "She has been gone for 2 hours". He turned and followed Angel. Buffy was approaching the caves having left her jeep on the road and followed the rail to the cavern entrance.

Buffy had already dusted 8 vamps. She slowly walked into the tunnel her body on full alert; she waked down the tunnel until it broke into 3 separate tunnels. She stood there "Which one holds the prize?" she whispered to herself. She heard a noise and hidden in the shadows, she saw Darla walking down the hall she looked dazed and confused.

Buffy grabbed at her as she walked by "Where are they Darla?" she whispered she was allowing just enough air to get into her lung "I have no problem with snapping your neck" she said giving Darla's head a jerk. "Third door on the left," she gasped, "He will kill you" she tried to laugh but Buffy cut off the air supply soon she was unconscious.

Buffy slid down the hall, she pressed her ear to the door and hear muffled voices. "Don't touch me" she heard Dawn cry, Buffy pushed open the door and saw Joyce had Dawn pinned to the floor the only holding her at bay was the small cross Dawn held in front of her face as a shield. Buffy grabbed the back of Joyce's shirt and heaved her off of her sister.

"Buffy" Dawn cried, "Mom is a vampire don't hurt her" Joyce crashed into the wall "She is not our mother Dawn, Mom is at peace" Buffy said watching the vampire struggle to her feet.

Dawn shook her head "No she knows things she try to call us for help" the young woman cried she went to crawl over to the vampire but Buffy stopped her. "No we have to get out of here" Buffy picked Dawn up and all but dragged her from the room.

"We can't leave her" Dawn yelled beginning to struggle. Buffy was too busy trying to hold on to Dawn to notice Joyce was on her feet, red spots of pain danced before Buffy's eyes as Joyce slashed at her back, Buffy turned elbowing her mother in the face.

"We will drink you dry slayer," she hissed. Dawn was frozen "You are not my mother" the shock was too much for Dawn. The fight was on, Buffy and Joyce circled each other. Dawn watched in horror as Buffy beat the vampire that wore her mothers face, Buffy was thrown into the wall and could not stop the howl of pain she pulled away and notices the spikes that stuck up from the wall, Joyce smashed the chair over her back she fell to the ground.

Dawn began to vibrate; this was too much the air began to crackle around her, as she began to drawn her power. Buffy punched the vamp in the throat and pulled her stake out and plunged "Buffy" Joyce cried her face changes her eyes full of fear "Help me" she cried clutching at her. The stake stopped inches from its mark "Help me" Joyce cried. _Mom_ Buffy's mind cried the stake lowered "Mom" she whispered Joyce's face changed her arms wrapped around Buffy her head descending. Buffy did not struggle she was lost in her memories.

"NO" Dawn yelled a wave of energy exploded from her, smoke and lighting filled the room. Buffy felt the explosion hit her from behind she was lifted in to the air all she remembered was the wall coming to meet her. As quickly at it had come it was gone. "What have I done" Dawn whispered she could hear the others shouting they would be found in no time.

"Buffy" she cried guilt washing over her. "I am sorry " she had not meant to hurt her sister; she waved the smoke trying to see where Buffy was.

"Buffy" Dawn called out once more. "Dawn I am here" Buffy groaned. Dawn's eyes scanned the room before she asked. "Where " she did her best to keep the panic from her voice, then she looked up and saw Buffy impaled on not one but two metal spikes one through her thigh the other in her shoulder, Dawn gasped as she saw the amount of blood that was flowing from her sister.

"Dawn get me down" Buffy gasped looking at the door "They are coming" Dawn grabbed the table and pushed it over to Buffy she hopped on to assist her sister.

"I will do my shoulder, you do my thigh" Buffy whispered her face white, Dawn watched her sister pull her body forward. Dawn felt her stomach roll at the popping sound that came from her sister's shoulder once the spike was gone.

"Ok Dawn your turn" Buffy bit her lip raw as Dawn worked her lose. The 10-inch spike came out of the walls, as the ceiling grew higher. Finally Dawn pulled Buffy's thigh free, She was not able to stop Buffy from falling to the ground where she landing with a moan.

"Buffy" Dawn cried jumping off the table "I am sorry" she cried. "Lets get out of here" Dawn helped Buffy get to her feet. She could barley put weight on her leg. They stopped in the hallway and listen.

"The noises are moving in the other direction," Buffy whispered. With Dawn's help they scurried down the twisting hallway Buffy guided her until they reached the caverns entrance tunnel.

A hand closed on Dawns shoulder causing her to scream. Buffy turned sizing her sister and pulling her in front. She swung out with her elbow connecting with the Vampires face, "Go Run" Buffy shouted to her sister, who took off running.

Buffy shut out the pain as best as she could and fought she dusted the vamp and heard others coming, she reached into the bag that hung at her hip pulling out a small grenade, she pulled the pin and tossed it down the tunnel, she turned and did her best to run out of the tunnel, she reached the opening just as it exploded she was thrown into the air, she landed on the dirt path with a cry of pain.

Dawn ran to her helping her get to her feet "The jeep is over there" Buffy pointed to the road. Dawn helped her up the slope holding most of her weight. "Get in" Buffy whispered her face was to pale and it was getting harder to stay awake.

"I am driving" Dawn said. Buffy slid in she reached for a towel and pressed it to the gaping hole in her thigh. "We will get help" Dawn said gunning the engine; she looked at her sister who was slumped in the front seat.

Dawn drove like a mad woman they were just reaching the city limits when she saw Angel's car whiz by them she checked her rear view mirror just in time to see Angel's car swerve into a tire squalling turn. Dawn heard the cell phone ringing "Angel" she cried into the headset having slipped it on "No we need to get to a hospital" she cried.

Angel swore, "What" Spike asked "We are hospital bound" Dawn skidded into the hospital emergency she threw open her door "Help I need Help" she cried as she ran around to Buffy's side and pulled open the door. Buffy spilled out Dawn caught her sister, "Here" someone in white said taking hold of Buffy they lifted her putting her on a gurney.

"What happened?" Someone asked, Dawn began to babble, "We were on the cliffs she fell and landed on the drain pipes one went through her shoulder and the other in her thigh." Angel and Spike ran up "Buffy" Angel gasped seeing her covered in blood pooling on the white sheet.

"We have to move she is bleeding out" Spike grabbed Dawn he spun her around looking at her he lifted her chin to see her neck when he saw no marking he pulled her close "Don't ever do that again" he whispered.

"Miss we need you to give us some information" a nurse said looking at Dawn. Buffy was being wheeled into the operating room. Angel was stopped at the door. Dawn gave them what they needed they were shown to the waiting room. Angel went to call Giles "How did this happen?" Spike asked almost two hours later, Buffy was still in surgery.

"It's all my fault" Dawn said, she got up and closed the door not wanting to be overheard. "I thought it would be safe in the daylight, I should have known better, then I saw mom" she said her eyes filling "She is a vampire Giles" the watcher shook his head.

"No Dawn she is NOT Joyce" he said holding her gaze. Dawn smiled "That is what Buffy said, but she couldn't kill her" Angel lifted his head and asked "What happened Dawn?"

"One minute I was struggling with Mo" she started but stammered "the vampire them Buffy was there, she fought with her, I was telling her not to hurt her that it was mom and that we could help her. Buffy went to stake her she changed she cried asking Buffy to help her. Buffy could not do it she dropped the stake, Mom grabbed her and went to bite her I snapped I only meant to get her away from Buffy, but I sent them both flying into the air once the room cleared of smoke. I saw Buffy pined to the wall, I had impaled her on the spikes on the wall, I didn't know they were there I had to get a table to get her down then we were rushing down the hall" Dawn was lost in the memories.

"Blood there was so much blood, something grabbed me and she pushed me away telling me to run which I did, she fought of the vamps then blew out the tunnel you met up with us after that" Dawn was trembling as the shock took its effect.

"I nearly killed my sister," she said just before her eyes rolled up and she crumbled to the floor. "What happened?" Angel asked as Spike scooped her up Giles went to go get some help.

"I am surprised it took this long, this happens whenever she uses her powers" Spike said calmly holding Dawn close.

A nurse came in and asked Spike to follow her. Giles and Angel sat there and waited finally someone came in "Are you immediate family" Angel spoke up "I am her fiancé and this was her guardian" the doctor nodded. "She is one lucky girl, first she is suffering from exhaustion, she has lost a great deal of blood we were able to stop the bleeding she nicked a main artery in her thigh if you had been a few moment longer there would have been nothing we could have done for her. What she needs is rest and relaxation" Angel thanked the doctor once he was gone he turned to Giles and said.

"We have to get her out of here Gaven can walk right in" Giles agreed. Angel took charge and said "Get everyone to mansion it is big enough we can all stay there. Have Willow bring over Buffy and Dawns things"

Angel spoke with the nurse who shook her head "She has to stay" Angel sighed "I have to stay with her" the nurse shook her head "She is asleep no visitors after 8pm" Angel leaned forward "Miss, she is deadly afraid of hospitals I won't touch her or get in the way, I just want her to see my face when she wakes up, please" the nurse crumbled under his smile "Ok if anyone finds you I have never seen you before."

Angel found his way to Buffy's room it was dark he sat in the chair and starred at her. Her skin was so pale he saw the blue veins in her check. Her shoulder was tightly wrapped he could not see her thigh. Spike came in a short time later "I am taking Dawn home while she is awake, I will be back later to relive you"

Angel shook his head Spike glared at him "Stay with Dawn she needs you, I will call" Spike gave a nod of his head he leaned down and gently kissed Buffy fore head.

"Rest well Slayer I will take care of the niblet" Angel sat there for hours, his stomach rumbled loudly "I will be right back love" he whispered and went to the vending machine" it was still light out so it was safe. He was gone longer then he wanted, as the machines were out of order. He returned to the room he stopped seeing someone leaning over Buffy, he dropped the food he carried and grabbed the person's shoulder spinning him around slamming him to the wall. His fist raised and ready to strike.

"What the" Riley grunted. Angel's face paled, "What are you doing here?" Riley shoved him off and straightens his shirt "I should be asking you the same thing"

Thank you to all of you that reviewed. Please keep them coming

FivebyFive09 – Thank you so much, I am so glad you like the story!

Julyhearts – of course she trust's Angel, their journey is a bit bumpy! Thanks for the review!

Arica, Princess of Rivendell – I am soo happy that a fellow LOTR's fan is enjoying my story!

pinkyblue-ice – You have been with this story from the very beginning, your support and kind words are greatly appreciated!


	14. Chapter 14

A/N First I want to Thank Dana for all her help with this story, I could not have done it without your help! Proof reading can be a long process, so Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.. **WARNING There is a love scene in this chapter, I tried to keep it tasteful without losing the emotions I was aiming for. So if you are sensitive do not read**

Chapter 14

The two men just stood there, glaring at each other in Buffy's hospital room. "So let's try this again, Riley, why are you here?" Angel asked, lowering his hand first. He was happy he was a bit taller then the younger man; he liked having to look down at him.

Riley shook his head, trying to hide his shock at seeing Angel standing in the sunlight. "I was just driving through and thought I would stop in see how Buffy and the family were. I stopped by the house and Willow told me she was here." Riley shifted from foot to foot waiting for Angel to speak.

Instead, Angel sat down, his eyes hard. "And?" he asked as he raising his eyebrow. Riley, not wanting to be outdone, sat on the foot of Buffy's bed and continued.

"And there has been a lot of activity in the area so I thought I would kill two birds with one stone." he turned to look at Buffy; sadness clearly reflected in is eyes. "What happened to her?"

Before Angel could answer him, Willow rushed in. "Good, you two haven't killed each other." she moved Riley out of the way and turned to Angel. "We have to get her out of here, Gaven is on his way and he is none too happy about her having gotten in under his nose and destroyed his safe place."

Angel got to his feet. "Willow, they won't let her leave. Her condition is too bad." Angel sighed, walking to the door and peered down the hallway.

Riley stood by the bottom of the bed clearly confused, Willow smiled. "I can help. If I can get her awake, she can say she wants to go home." Willow touched three fingers to her head then placed her palm on Buffy's chest. Moments later, a very dazed Buffy looked up at them.

"Where am I?" Buffy groaned, her body pained her greatly. Willow leaned into her, "We don't have time for that hon, you are in the hospital and we have to get you out of here."

Angel called for the doctor, and after much debate, Buffy was soon being placed in the car, Riley offered to go pick up her pain medication from the in-house pharmacy.

Soon, they were ready to leave. Willow climbed in beside Buffy, and once in the car, Willow withdrew from her mind and Buffy was sent back into oblivion, falling against her friend, who held her securely.

Angel felt uneasiness wash over him, which caused him to glance over his shoulder, and his beating heart nearly stopped. There stood Gaven in the doorway of the hospital entrance. "I will have her!" he yelled, walking towards the car.

"Let's go!" Willow yelled from the back seat. Angel gunned the engine and was gone.

They heard a thump from above, "He is on the roof!" Riley yelled, reaching for his bag.

Willow began to chant. She called on the sisters of nature to help, and Angel watched her eyes turn to black voids, his skin crackled with energy in the air. Suddenly, Gaven began to howl above them. Then he was gone.

Willow slumped forward, blood running from her nose. "Shit." Riley grunted, looking in the mirror. His eyes went wide as he saw the vampire gaining on them. He was flying behind the car, his eyes a flaming glow. "Angel." he said, reaching for his gun. He leaned out of his window-- climbing out so his butt rested on the window frame. He began to fire at Gaven; Angel reached out and grabbed his leg, "I've got you!"

Gaven went high into the air as Angel turned onto the long driveway that leads to the mansion. Riley slipped back into the car. "What the hell was that?" he shouted.

Angel maneuvered the car up the winding road. "We should be okay, there are too many trees. We just have to worry about the door." Riley reached for his bag and pulled out a gun cartridge. "He's a vampire, right?" he asked, not looking up from what he was doing.

Angel nodded his head, and he threw a look to see what Riley was doing. "Bullets won't hurt him," he said, seeing the mansion up ahead.

Riley slammed the case into the gun. "How about bullets with holy water?" he smiled. They stopped in front of the door, where Giles was waiting with Spike. "Gaven is right behind us!" Angel yelled, afraid they would come out.

Oz pushed his way through, seeing Willow slumped over in the back seat. "I'll cover you." Riley said, getting out of the car. He went to Angel's side, his gun ready.

Oz ran out, pulling open the door. "Willow." He reached in and scooped her up, then darted inside the house. Angel reached in for Buffy; mindful of her injuries, he lifted her out.

Gaven attacked just as he pulled her from the back seat. Gaven's hands hooked around her arms pulling her up and out of Angel's arms into the air. "NO!" Angel felt rage roll within him; his eyes began to glow. Angel wrapped one arm around her legs and the other around her waist. Never taking his eyes from Gaven he yelled, "Riley!"

The blond took aim and fired, hitting his mark. Gaven howled in pain, and the bullet passed though his body, but he did not let go. Spike came out of nowhere, sailing through the air and smashing into the airborne vamp. Gaven released Buffy as both he and Spike fell to the ground. Gaven landed on Spike, his eyes flaming. The two attacked each other. Spike was the first to draw blood, but Gaven was quick to respond. Angel moved Buffy inside her shoulder was bleeding. Riley went to help Spike and was thrown aside like a rag doll. He hit the ground and did not move. Angel rushed back outside. He grabbed Gaven and tossed him aside. "Get inside now!" he yelled at Spike, who reached for Riley.

Angel turned in enough time to block a hit, "She will be mine, her mother will see to it," Gaven laughed.

Angel's eyes were glowing. "I will see you dead." he said, causing Gaven to laugh.

"You have no idea how much you have helped me. I would have never gotten this close if it were not for you being a wonderful distraction. You kept the Slayer just enough off her game for me to slip in, and who better than with a vampire that looks like her mother?" Gaven's hand held the dagger hidden under his coat sleeve, and he moved with speed and threw the knife at Angel, who caught the blade as it sliced into his hand.

This gave Gaven the time he needed to advance on Angel, his hands closed like steel bands around his shoulder. "Tell me, have you taken her yet?" Gaven laughed lifting them off the ground. "Tell me, Angel, how would Buffy feel if you were to revert to your old ways?" he floated higher. "Tell the Slayer that the next time we meet, it will be for keeps." Gaven's hands pulled away, dropping him. Angel fell to the ground, his hand bleeding from the dagger he had caught. He waited until he could no longer see the vampire to get to his feet. He turned, and that is when Darla stumbled out of the trees. She was badly beaten and bleeding.

"Angel." she whispered, before falling to the ground. He scooped her up and went into the house.

Just then, Xander and Anya drove up. "What's going on?" he asked Angel.

"Get them inside." Angel called out, and Xander pulled the baby out of its seat while Anya grabbed the bags.

They all rushed inside. "Buffy!" Xander gasped, rushing to her. "What happened to her?"

Giles touched his shoulder. "Xander, let's get the baby settled, and Buffy into bed, then we will fill you in." Xander gave a nod.

"Oz just brought Willow upstairs." Xander told no one in particular. He was still in shock at seeing his friend so weak. Giles picked up Buffy, since Angel's hands were already full. He walked her upstairs with Xander trailing behind.

"Xander take the suite off the second floor. It has a large bedroom and sitting room. With the baby, it will work well." Angel called out as he brought Darla upstairs.

Anya smiled. "Thanks." she cooed to the little girls in her arms, not phased by danger that hung in the air.

Giles put Buffy in the room next to his. Spike followed. "Her things are in the other room," Spike told the Watcher. "I'll grab her a night shirt" he called out, walking down the hall. Spike stopped into check on Dawn.

He grabbed an over sized t-shirt and went to meet Giles. The Watcher was in the process of removing Buffy's hospital gown, so her shoulder was exposed. Giles peeled away the bandage and cleaned then redressed the wound. "Thank the heavens she has rapid healing," he said to himself. The wound on her shoulder had already healed over.

"Let me see that cut." Giles said, taking Spike chin. He looked at the gash on his temple. Spike was still trying to control the demon within, and pulled his head away while he grunted. "It will heal." Was all he said, but he allowed Giles to tape it up. "I am going to go sit with Dawn." he kissed the Slayer gently and left the room.

Giles made sure she was resting comfortably, and left the room. He stopped in to see Oz, who was sitting in bed holding a sleeping Willow. He offered a smile, "I think we are okay." Oz whispered, not wanting the Watcher to worry. Giles was happy to see someone had moved Riley into one of the rooms. Giles checked him over and was glad nothing was broken.

He made his way downstairs and fixed himself a tea while he waited for Xander to come down. Twenty minutes later, he was filling him in on the events leading up to this moment. "She shouldn't have gone alone," Xander said, shaking his head once Giles was done.

"So have you named our girl yet?" Giles asked, looking for some good news. Xander smiled just then, as Anya came down, holding the little bundle. Xander took the baby and passed it to Giles, "Giles, please meet Naya Anne Harris." Giles smiled, accepting the child into his arms. Once she was comfortable, he asked, "Anne?" Xander smiled; the older man did not miss a thing.

"After Buffy," Anya said, smiling as she touched her daughter's cheek "Say hello to Grandpa." the new mom cooed. Giles liked the sound of that. "If you two want to get something to eat, I will hold her." Xander wrapped his arm around his wife, and left the older man alone. Giles stood up and went into the library. He sat down and cuddled the baby singing softly.

Angel stood in the doorway with a smile, but then he turned on his heel, leaving the Watcher to have his quiet moment. Buffy opened her eyes. Her throat was dry her body ached. She moved her head slightly. She was alone. She slid the covers off and sat up, and she saw Giles sleeping in the chair. She stood, and her leg pained her, but she needed to move. She shuffled out of the room. It was dark outside. She made it down the hall, stopping at the stairs. A muffled sob caught her attention, and she hobbled down the hall. The door to the guest room was slightly open, so she peeked inside and her heart broke. There was Angel holding Darla, rocking her slowly. "I didn't mean to do it, I had no control," she cried into his chest.

He stroked her hair. "Darla, it's over, you're safe."

She pulled away from him and Buffy saw her beaten face. "I am all alone. I've ruined it with Lindsey."

Angel shook his head. "You will never be alone, Darla." Buffy watched as Darla leaned in to kiss him.

She turned away from the door, her heart breaking. She went back down the hall and found the strength to walk down the stairs. When she'd made it to the kitchen, she tugged open the refrigerator and pulled out the juice. As she sat at the table, she heard a sigh come from the living room and went to see who was there.

She found Anya holding the baby, she smiled seeing Buffy, "How are you feeling?" she asked.

Buffy smiled, walking slowly over to where Anya sat on the sofa. "Can I hold her?" Buffy asked once she stopped.

Anya frowned. "I don't know… can you?" Anya asked, taking in the Slayer's beaten body.

Buffy smiled and sat down. "Yes, please." Anya stood up and passed the baby to Buffy.

Buffy held the baby with her good arm, and tears blurred her vision. "Naya, this is your aunt, Buffy."

The Slayer smiled wider. "What a beautiful name." The new mother sat beside Buffy.

"Naya Anne Harris." Anya gently told her, moving a stray piece of hair from her face. A tear slid down the Slayers cheek, and, Anya, sensing Buffy needed some time, stood up and asked, "Can you watch her for a bit? The little girls' room is calling."

Buffy nodded, gazing at her namesake. It was at that moment she realized; _I will never have this with Angel._ She let the tears fall, and they burned down her face. Anya stood in the kitchen watching, her heart breaking for her friend. After a moment, Anya made her way quietly upstairs and down the hall. She slowly opened Dawn's door and smiled. Spike was holding a sleeping Dawn. She touched his shoulder and his eyes opened. She motioned for him to follow. "Buffy needs you." she said, once in the hallway.

They made their way downstairs. "Okay peanut, time for bed." Anya took the baby from Buffy, but not before kissing her twice.

"What are you doing down here?" Spike asked.

Buffy crumbled, reaching for him. "Spike," she cried, her arms stretching out for him. He sat down, taking her into his arms and holding her.

"Hey," he said, pulling her close.

Buffy could not speak as the sobs ripped through her, so he simply held her. He offered his strength and support, with no words attached. Time passed and the sun rose. Giles came running down the stairs. "She's gone!" he panted.

He stopped, seeing Buffy and Spike on the sofa, and Spike turned his head and said, "She is fine Giles, give us a moment."

The Watcher closed his eyes and forced a smile. "Sure."

Spike turned his attention back to Buffy, "What's going on, Slayer?"

Buffy remained silent for a moment longer, and then finally said, "I was just letting old dreams die, Spike. It is time to face that Angel and I will never be more then what we are. My hidden dreams of a life, a family, will never happen. Holding Naya last night just made it all the more real. I stopped lying to myself, that's all. Slayers are not meant to have families."

Spike laughed shaking his head. "They are not also supposed to live as long as you, Buffy. You can have anything you want." he reached out and cupped her chin, forcing her eyes to meet his. "Give me the truth, Buffy."

Her eyes filled with such pain. "Spike, I just accepted that Angel and I are not meant to do anything but hurt each other." She stood up and called out to Giles. "Can you help me back upstairs?"

Giles rushed back into the room smiling, and said, "Only if I can carry you." She did not protest when he scooped her up.

"Please take me to Dawn's room." she said, resting her head on his shoulder. Once inside, Buffy climbed into bed with Dawn, pulling her close, and let sleep take her. Giles sat watching them both.

Spike got up after a moment or so and muttered, "Something doesn't fit." He went up the stairs, taking two at a time. He pushed open Angel's door. "Peaches--" he stopped dead in his tracks. There was Angel, sleeping sitting up in bed, with Darla curled around him. Realization hit Spike and he swore. Angel's eyes flashed open, and he saw Spike, who simply shook his head and left the room, closing the door.

Angel was confused for a moment, and he looked down and groaned seeing Darla in his lap. He eased her off and got up. He took a quick shower and went downstairs. No one was there, so he made coffee. He made himself a cup and one for Giles. Buffy's room was empty so he checked in on Dawn. He smiled, seeing the sisters nestled together in slumber.

He handed the mug to Giles, "Go I will take over." The Watcher smiled and got up as Spike came in. He sat down next to Angel and said nothing. "Spike, what you saw--" he started, just to have the blond vampire shake his head.

"I really do not want to hear it, Angel." The former vampire let it go. So there they sat, in silence, watching their keeps.

Finally, Spike said. "I can watch them if you have things to do."

Angel sensed Spike needed some time so he smiled and said, "Okay." He got up and kissed both Buffy and Dawn.

Spike shook his head thinking, _He really has no idea what he's done_.

"Call me if you need anything." Angel said as he left the room. He went downstairs and saw the others had begun to move around.

Xander was getting ready for work, and Angel watched him kiss his wife and baby. He could not wait until he could do that with Buffy. He did not miss the way Anya frowned at him.

Oz and Willow were up. "Great job last night, Willow." Angel said, touching her shoulder.

She offered a tired smile, "Glad I could help." Darla came down the stairs then, and Willow stopped speaking. "What is she doing here?" she asked, looking at Angel. "Does Buffy know she's here?"

Angel held up his hands. "Wow," he started just to have Willow cut him off.

"Don't 'wow' me, this monster helped kidnap Dawn, she is working with the other side Angel!" Willow's face went all red. "I guess the question should be, what side are you working on?"

Angel scowled. "That isn't fair, Willow. Darla is okay; she was able to break free of Gaven. Look at her, he did this to her."

Willow shook her head and said, "Becoming a human has made you an idiot." She turned and walked out of the mansion.

"Willow," Oz called out to her making her stop. "Where are you going?" he asked.

Willow looked at the man she loved. "I am going to Buffy's house to strengthen the protection spell; she has enough on her plate without having to deal with Darla."

Oz smiled, he loved it when she was feisty, and offered, "She may not want to go home."

Willow pulled open the car door. "No, she may not, but let's give her the option should she want it."

Angel was a little taken aback by Willow's outburst. Darla had fled the room in tears, and Anya stood there staring at him to the point Angel had to ask, "What Anya?"

The ex-demon smiled. "Willow is right, you know. I was not here for the grand love/hate courtship that is called your relationship, so I have a bit of a clear view from where I am standing. Since you have been back, your priorities have been all wrong. The woman you say you love is always left alone while you comfort and take care of others. Why is that?" Angel did not say anything; he was a bit taken aback by Anya's honesty.

"If you're trying to win the Slayer, you are doing it the wrong way. I was with Buffy last night and something has changed in her, and my instincts tell me you have something to do with it. There can only be room for one in your heart Angel. It's you she seeks comfort from, but you're never there. Do not be surprised if she goes looking elsewhere." Angel was shocked, and he sat down. He knew what he had to do, but was just unsure how to do it. It was just past lunchtime when Riley walked into the room. His face was bruised, but other than that, he was fine.

"Is Buffy awake?" Angel shook his head. "Okay, I am going to head out, but I'll be back before sunset." he told the ex-vampire. Angel watched him go.

Buffy slowly moved, her body screaming in protest. Her shoulder and leg felt tight. Dawn was smiling at her. "We have not done this since Mom…" Her voice trailed off. "Mom... Buffy, Mom is a vampire." Dawn cried, her face full of pain. Buffy hugged her sister close, rocking her gently, not caring about her own aches and pains.

"I know Dawn, but that isn't mom. I don't know what Gaven did, but he did something. We have to keep telling ourselves it's not mom." They fell into silence; Spike stood at the door his un-beating heart breaking with each sob that came from his beloved. Once Dawn was calm, Buffy wiped her face. "Help me get dressed, I'm hungry."

Dawn frowned, "You should stay in bed." Her laugh filled the room when her older sister glared at her.

Dawn opened the door and saw Spike standing there. "Morning, love." he breathed. Dawn went into his open arms, Spike cupped her face as his lips covered hers, kissing her gently. Buffy rolled off the bed and walked by them smiling. She walked down to Giles' room. He was asleep, and she pulled her bag and sorted through her clothes. She settled on a pair of shorts and a tank top; they would be easier on her bandages. She was not able to pull her hair back so she just ran a brush through it.

Buffy made her way downstairs, she smiled seeing Anya, but then Buffy saw Angel in the garden with Darla, and her heart tightened. "Come on Buffy, let's get you some food," Anya said.

Darla turned tear-filled eyes on Angel. "You want me to leave?"

He felt horrible. "Darla go to Lindsey, he's waiting."

Darla began to cry, "I have no one Angel. He doesn't love me anymore, he left me."

Angel shook his head. "No, he left because he loves you."

Darla shoved him away, "You said you would take care of me, Angel, that you would protect me. It's because of her!"

Angel stood there, and knew she had to go. "Darla, my life is with Buffy. I love her! Can you not understand that? Do you not want me to be happy?" he asked. She just cried harder.

Darla reached out for him "Don't make me go," she cried.

Angel returned her hug. "Darla, it's time for you to live life; you don't have forever anymore, so stop wasting time. Lindsey will not wait forever."

Angel looked to the heavens, and then at the window. His heart stopped. There stood Buffy, her eyes full of pain. "You have to go, Darla, tonight. I will call Lindsey and tell him you are on your way." Buffy turned away from the window.

Willow came in and saw Buffy. She went to hug her friend. "Glad to see you're awake." Willow's eyes met and held Angel's through the window.

"I want to go home, Willow," Buffy said into her friend's chest.

"Okay, let's go." Willow said holding her tighter.

Buffy pulled back. "Really?" she asked.

Willow smiled. "Yes, really; I just beefed up the protection spells on your place and Xander's so everyone can go home."

Buffy turned and began to hobble to the stairs. "I'll be right back." She all but ran up the stairs. "Dawn, we can go home." She opened the door and saw Spike and Dawn holding each other and talking.

"We can go home?" they asked in unison, and Buffy smiled. "I'm going, but you can stay here if you want to."

They shook their heads, "No we're coming too." Buffy woke Giles up and he too got ready.

Buffy was looking for her shoes when Angel came in with Darla trailing behind him. "Where are you going?" he asked, watching Spike and Oz load up the cars.

"Home. Willow says it's safe, and I miss my house and bed." Buffy tried to keep the hurt out of her face.

"Buffy," he said stepping closer, "Darla is leaving."

The Slayer stopped and put her hand on his chest, feeling each time his heart thumped. "That's good Angel, but don't do it for me."

He tried to read her face but it wasn't giving anything away. "Don't do this Buffy," he pleaded.

Buffy let her hand drop. "I'm not doing anything Angel, I'll see you later." She turned and walked out, and he watched her climb into the jeep. Spike jumped in behind the wheel and drove off.

"See?" Darla started, but the look on Angel's face made her change her mind.

Buffy sighed when she walked into her house. She went up to her room and stripped down and got into bed, once there, she slept and she dreamed of nothing.

Downstairs, Dawn looked at Spike. "What's going on?"

Spike shook his head. "Angel is a fool."

Willow walked into the room. "That he is."

Dawn held up her hand, "Somebody tell me why he's a fool?"

Spike sat down "Anya came to get me last night, because Buffy was upset." He went onto tell them what had happened. "Once she went back to bed, I went to see Angel, and found him sleeping with Darla curled up in his arms." Spike shook his head.

Willow was outraged. "He confuses me so much! He says he loves her, but then he does nothing for her. Darla breaks a nail and he calls in the forces!"

Oz spoke up, trying to be the voice of reason. "You're not being fair; you have no idea who Darla is now. There has to be some good. Lindsey seems like a nice guy and Angel would do nothing to hurt Buffy." They all stared at him.

"Well that's all he ever does. He's on his own." Spike got up and left the room.

Dawn sat there. "Willow, did he sleep with her?" she asked.

The witch shrugged her shoulders, "I have no idea."

Dawn stood up, "Did Buffy see them together?" Again, Willow didn't know. Dawn shook her head and said, "Let's see if we need to go shopping. I think we're low on everything." Dawn and Willow proceeded to make a list of what was needed.

Anya called saying she was coming over with Naya. They waited for her to get there, and then left, leaving Spike with Anya. Buffy woke to a wonderful smell and she rolled over. The sun was just setting and she felt great. She made her way to the bathroom and pulled her bandages off to see that the gapping holes had healed over. They were still tender and badly bruised, but she could move. She showered and dressed, then pulled on a pair of joggers and a t-shirt to make her way downstairs.

Oz was setting the table. "You look good," he said, coming to examine her wounds.

"Super Slayer-Powers." she laughed. "What smells wonderful?" she asked while she was opening the oven, just to see the lasagna bubbling. She walked into the main room and stopped. "Riley," she smiled and leaped into his arms. "It's wonderful to see you!" She laughed, holding him close; he hugged her tightly, returning her affection.

"You look better than the last time I saw you," he told Buffy, mentioning he had seen her in the hospital.

Giles was happy to see she had healed and that her body was rested. His face went pale when he saw her re-enter the room some time later with her patrol clothes. "You're not going out." he said.

She looked at him; "It is quiet, just a quick sweep."

Spike came in, "I'll come with you."

Buffy shook her head, "No, you won't."

Riley stood up with a smile. "I'll go."

Giles watched them go and went to listen in. Spike looked at Willow and she grabbed her coat while they slipped out with Oz.

They walked in silence until finally Riley broke it. "Angel is human? That's great," he said trying to sound happy.

Buffy laughed, "Nice try, Riley. What brings you back to Sunnydale?" she asked, linking her arm through his.

"I was passing through. I have some down time and thought I would stop in and say hello. I'm glad I did, you look great Buffy."

She smiled and responded with, "Thank you."

They walked a bit more until he asked, "So are you and Angel an item?"

She frowned. "I don't know what we are, Finn. I'm still trying to figure it out."

Riley stopped, facing her. He took both of her hands in his, "I came back here, Buffy, because you're always in my thoughts." He stopped and cupped her elbows in his hands. "I still love you, and I thought that maybe we could-"

Buffy held a finger to his lips. "Don't, Riley, please, don't ask me to give you something I can't give. I love you but not enough to make you happy, not in a way you deserve to be loved."

Riley looked away but not before Buffy saw his eyes clouded with pain. "Angel," he whispered but she shook her head.

"Has nothing to do with it, he didn't then and he doesn't now." Buffy said firmly.

He stepped away from her. "Angel does not deserve you," he said, shaking his head. Buffy felt bad but she had to be honest.

"I guess I should leave," Riley said staring at her face.

Buffy gave a small nod, "It was great seeing you." They finished their sweep and made it back to the house.

"We are home, so you can stop following us now." she called over her shoulder at the three in the bushes who groaned.

The all sat down for dinner. Spike and Riley did not speak and that was fine for them. After dinner, Riley said his goodbyes, and Buffy walked him to the car. He tossed his bag in and turned, pulling her into a hug. She rested her head on his chest. "You're a wonderful man, Riley Finn. Take care of yourself." Buffy lifted her head to look at him, and he cupped her chin. He leaned down and gently covered her lips with his. Buffy allowed the gentle caress; it was sweet.

After a moment, he lifted his head. "Stay alive, Buffy. If you need me you know how to get in touch with me." She offered him a smile, and he kissed her once more before turning, getting into his car and driving off. Buffy watched him until she could no longer see his taillights, and then turned back to the house.

She stopped, seeing Angel standing there with his face blank. "Hi," she said as her heart fluttered at the sight of him.

"I came by earlier and they said you had gone out with Riley." he said, walking up to stand in front of her. "Can we talk?" Angel asked, drinking in her beauty.

Buffy answered slowly. "Sure, come inside."

She started moving towards the door, but he grabbed her arm. "No, let's go back to my place." he said.

Buffy agreed, "I'll go and tell them." He watched her go.

"Dawn, I'm going to go talk with Angel. I'll be back later, will you be okay?"

Spike came forward. "Slayer, do you think that's wise?"

She smiled. "You stay with Dawn please, and yes, I have to tell him how I feel."

Willow and Oz were going to spend the night at Xander's, so they left with Buffy.

"Call me if you need anything," Willow said she walked by Angel, not even looking at him.

Buffy and Angel climbed into the car and he drove off. "Patrol was quiet," he said, not really asking a question. She gave a nod of her head. "And Riley has left?" he asked, trying to keep his voice light.

"Yes," was her response. They drove the rest of the way in silence until they got out and he opened the door to let her in.

"How are you feeling?" he asked as she removed her jacket. He took in her shoulder. "All healed up. It amazes me sometimes what a little sleep can do." he smiled. "Wine?" he asked, holding up the bottle.

"Sure, a small glass." she said, sitting down. She waited until he sat facing her for her to say, "It was a good by kiss between friends Angel, nothing more."

He shook his head, "I know that." He took drink and said, "Darla is gone."

She simply stared at him. "You didn't have to send her away, Angel. You obviously have feelings for her."

He didn't speak right away. "Darla has changed, Buffy, since she became human, but I did not bring you here to talk about Darla."

Buffy smiled sadly. "I saw you, Angel. She kissed you, and you kissed her back."

He understood why the others were so angry with him. "Now it all makes sense," he muttered taking another drink from his glass.

Buffy shook her head and said, "I didn't tell anyone what I saw."

He was confused and said, "If you saw her kiss me you would have seen me push her away as well."

Buffy put down her glass and stood up. "Angel, we do nothing but hurt each other. Maybe we should read the signs."

He stood up and took hold of her. "I love you, Buffy. I always have. We have a chance here, a real chance to have everything we have ever dreamed of."

She closed her eyes on her tears. "Don't, please don't," she whispered as his arms tightened around her.

"Buffy, we can do this."

She shook her head, "No, how much more do we have to hurt each other to see that?" Big fat tears slid down her cheeks, "It took a lot, but seeing you with Darla made me understand. I will always be second in your life; you are so used to it you don't even realize it. I can't get angry any more." She stepped away from him. "I have tried, Angel, to involve you, to open my life, but I will not be put on the back burner whenever Darla or anyone needs help."

He was suddenly very afraid. "What are you saying?" he asked.

Buffy turned to look at him. "I am letting you go, if you need someone to blame then blame me, I have finally accepted there is no 'us', Angel. I can't keep hoping and dreaming for something that will never be. I love you so much." She could no longer speak as emotion took hold. He watched her sit down on the sofa, but he was frozen to move.

"Buffy, don't to this," Angel said, reaching out to touch her.

Buffy bit down on her run away feelings. "I am not doing anything, Angel. I am just making a point. I have a life and a job. If you are in my life, Angel, it has to be for good, not part-time. I will not be pushed to the side." She wiped her face, taking a deep breath. He watched her pull her emotions tight. "I think you need to go back to LA and your life, and ask yourself, if I had not remembered would you still have come for me." Buffy leaned up and wrapped her arms around him. She softly kissed his lips, burning the taste and smell of him in her mind for those lonely nights to come.

"Take care Angel, I will always be here when you need me." She stepped away and walked to the door, he heard it open and close.

The sun had set. "Buffy!" His legs ran for the door. He saw her clear the hill, and he got in his car to make chase. His eyes were focused on her as she ran. He sighed when she ran up the stairs to her house and bolted inside.

He was about to pull away when his passenger door opened and Xander popped in. "Hey." he said. Angel just looked at him. "Are you going to drive, or what?" Xander asked. Angel pulled away from the curb. "So you and Buffy worked things out?" the young man asked.

Angel's grip on the wheel tightened. "No, Harris, she sent me packing. I don't get it. I love her and she loves me."

Xander shook his head, his infamous smile lighting his face. "If I may take a famous quote from Tina Turner's song 'What's Love Got To Do With It?'"

Angel looked at him, confused. "Coffee shop," Xander pointed. "And you're buying." he said, getting out of the car once Angel had parked.

Only once they were seated did he continue. "Go home, Angel. Make sure this is what you want. You have a life in LA, Buffy has a life here. Go get your head on straight, then come back and claim your woman, but only come back if you mean to stay. Buffy is not the same person you left all those years ago. She's a woman now."

Angel knew Xander was telling the truth. "I'm afraid, Xander. Everything I have ever wanted is within my reach, and with one wrong slip it can be gone. I'm a fool, I know what I did was wrong but in all honesty I did it to protect her, to shield her. If I dealt with Darla then she wouldn't have to." Xander smiled; he could understand that.

"I can't leave until we deal with Gaven," he said. "I will keep my distance until then." Xander did not say anything, they drank in silence. He dropped Xander off and went to the mansion. Xander went to Buffy's. Willow was at his place so he felt okay leaving Anya alone. Xander used his key; "Hello?" he called out, but there was no response. "Dawn?" he called out.

He went to the kitchen just as Buffy was going up the stairs. "Hi." she said.

He took in her blood shot eyes "What ya doing?" he asked, watching her place a mug, and various items for making coffee onto a tray.

"Researching Gaven." she said he followed her into the other room, surprised she was alone.

"I sent them all to bed," she said as she prepared her coffee. "Spike will be down in a bit once Dawn is asleep." They walked down into the basement, and he saw the journals and books open. "You can hit the 'net if you have the time." Buffy smiled, pointing to the laptop. Xander sat down and began to work.

"Buffy, I spoke to Angel." he said as he typed. She did not respond. "He wants to help with Gaven, and then he will be leaving," she still did not respond so he turned to look at her. She had her eyes closed. "Buffy?" he asked, coming to sit beside her. She opened her eyes and he found that they were shining with unshed tears.

"Good." she said, more to herself then to him.

He went back to the computer. There was a knock on the door upstairs. "I'll get it." Xander said.

"See who it is before you answer!" she called out.

Buffy heard voices, but she was so involved in the journal that she was reading when they came down. She looked up when they had finished coming downstairs.

"I thought I would come and help," Angel said, putting down the donuts he had brought. "They're still hot," he said.

Xander reached for the box, "Ooh, warm donuts," he drooled.

Buffy smiled and said, "Easy, Homer." Xander stuck his tongue out at her before biting into a warm jelly donut.

Angel sat down and read her notes. She just offered a smile and went back to work. He took her appearance in, and noted she was dressed for bed. She was wearing a pair of pajama bottoms two sizes too big and a baby doll t-shirt that made it easy for him to see that she was not wearing a bra. Her breasts were full and round, and they stood firmly against gravity.

They all worked in silence, and it was hitting 1:30am when Buffy kicked Xander out. She made her rounds upstairs, and Spike opened his eyes when she opened Dawn's door. "Stay here Spike, Angel is here to help." She saw him frown, "I'm okay, Spike, trust me." she said and he finally smiled. Giles was snoring away in his bed, exhausted. She pulled the covers over his body, and then took a moment to appreciate his manly chest full of hair. "We need to find you a woman," she said softly.

Back in the kitchen, she pulled out a bowl of watermelon, and went back downstairs. Angel had started the fire, its shadow dancing on the walls. "You don't have to stay," she said. But all she got was smile; he had gotten comfortable. His shoes were off, his shirt undone, showing the white undershirt. Buffy went back to work, and as he watched her reading he remembered when she hated research. She bit into a chunk of melon and he felt desire race through him when the juice slid down her chin. He saw her blink then smile, then frown at the book in front of her. She looked at him, putting the bowl on the table.

"I found it," she said, and he came to sit next to her. "Here, read this." Buffy said, pointing out the passage. He took the book from her. It was an old codex that made reference of his travels with Darla, Spike and Dru. The hunters that tracked them through the Watcher counsel made the later entries. "Buffy," he gasped, "You can't do this!" He said, shaking his head. Buffy just looked at him.

"This seems to be the only way." Buffy said her voice very matter of fact.

He put the book down and looked at her. "There has to be another way," he said, watching her lean back on to sofa.

"We will have Giles look at it in the morning." she said.

"Have you ever had a sword stabbed into you?" he asked. "It hurts like hell, let me tell you."

Memories of the past danced in Buffy's head. _Close your eyes._ She would never forget the look of pain and confusion in his eyes as she sent the sword through his chest. Him while he was reaching out to her as he was sucked into the vortex of hell.

Angel watched the play of emotions on her face and realization hit him. "Shit, Buffy, I didn't mean--" She stood up and he followed her, taking her shoulders, careful of her injury. "I'm sorry." he said.

She turned to look at him. "I will never forgive myself," she whispered, "I died that day too." She allowed him to draw her close to his warmth. She was suddenly very cold. "I killed you, and I damned you to hell." she said, trembling.

He wrapped his arms around her. "No, you did what you had to do. What happened was bigger than us, Buffy, you had no choice. You were dealing with a monster."

She lifted her head to look at him. "I didn't kill the monster, Angel, I hurt you." He was lost the moment he looked into her eyes.

"Buffy," he moaned before his lips covered hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close. She was not sure how she ended up on the carpet, she was only sure that his hands were everywhere, her body was alive, charged with his touch, and soon they were both naked. She gasped when his heated flesh touched hers, his mouth closed over her nipple; he lavished it with his tongue while his fingers caressed the other. She moaned softly, her fingers curling in his hair. What he did to one he did to the other. His hands traveled down to touch the heart of her. "I love you," he said, touching her heat. Buffy suddenly was very afraid, her body stiffened, and he lifted his head. "What is it?" he asked, concerned.

He looked into her face, but she turned her face from his view. "Hey," he said, coming up beside her. "Did I do something wrong?" he asked, afraid he had hurt her in some way.

She looked at him with tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry," she cried.

He didn't understand, "What?" he asked.

"I'm afraid," she said.

"Afraid of what, love?" he asked, cupping her cheek. When she did not answer he gave her soft shake.

"Of you, I'm afraid of you," she cried, the dam breaking. Sobs rushed out of her. Angel was confused, so he did the only thing he could think of. He stood up, and Buffy curled up on her side. She was crying so hard she was not aware of the lights going off. _He left me,_ her mind cried. She jumped when she felt his arms close around her. He had shut off the lights and closed the door so the only light in the room was from the fire. He spooned her to him, his arm pillowing her head. He covered them with the blanket that lay on top of the sofa. Buffy cried herself to sleep; he whispered words of comfort into her ear until sleep claimed him as well.

He woke with a start to find the fire was still glowing gently, but he was alone on the floor. He lifted his head and saw her sitting on the sofa, staring at the fire, and wrapped in a blanket. "Buffy," he called out getting to his feet. His nakedness didn't bother him, and he sat next to her, not touching her.

"I'm sorry," she finally said.

"You said you were afraid, are you afraid of me?" he asked quietly.

Buffy spoke without looking at him, "Not of you, but of what happens whenever you and I make love." Buffy spoke softly.

Angel understood. "Buffy it wasn't your fault, you did nothing wrong." He wanted to hold her.

"Angel, the first time we made love, it was wonderful. You were wonderfully gentle and caring." Her voice was laced with tears. "I woke up, and you were gone. Then Angelus said things, horrible things." He knew what the demon had said while he was trapped inside, unable to do anything. "Then, I found out that because of what we did, you where gone. I let the monster out." she said, finally looking at him.

"Then, we try again. We make love and you turn back time and erase it. Take all my memories." Her voice cut out.

"Buffy," he said, touching her, but she shook her head.

"No, tell me, Angel, was I really that bad, did I disappoint you that much?" she cried.

His heart shattered, as he finally understood the damage that had been done to her. He finally realized that her whole sexual outlook was built on her experience with him. "No, love, you did not disappointment me. You were a wonderful lover, Buffy. I'm sorry; I just assumed that you understood you had nothing to do with my choices. I did it all to protect you" He reached out and lifted her into his lap. He didn't realize she was naked under the blanket, and when her mound settled against him, he swallowed his moan. He felt himself harden against her heat.

"Buffy, you were always all that was good in my life, and you still are. I am still leaving when this is over. I think we owe it to ourselves. Xander was right; we'll play this your way." Buffy stared at him, she couldn't speak. Her mind was focused on the velvet steel she was sitting on. Angel saw the desire in her eyes, and he cupped her hips, grinding her to him. "Do you feel what you do to me?" he asked. Buffy let the blanket slip from her body. She began to rock back and forth, sliding her wetness over his heat, and he moaned deep in his throat.

"Love me, Angel," she said, and that was all he needed to hear. He pulled her mouth to his, knowing that he was ready, and from what he felt he knew she was ready too. He hooked his hands under her arms and lifted her. His massive organ stood proudly for her eyes to see and as he slowly let her slide onto him, Buffy gasped. It had been a long time, and Riley was nowhere near Angel's size in length or width. Angel felt her stretch to accommodate him, and watched both pleasure and pain lace her face.

"Oh, God." he moaned when she had fully accepted him into her body; her heat nearly undid him.

His mouth found her breasts and he lavished them with love. Buffy began to move up and down; the sounds coming from her drove him crazy. His hands went to her hips as he guided her. She was lost in ecstasy, her pace quickening, and he sat back, watching her with amazement. "Angel," she gasped, and he felt her tighten around him as she rode him.

"Yes, baby, take it." he said, cupping her hips.

Suddenly, she clamped down on him to the point of it being almost painful. "Angel," she cried out, arching her back as her climax washed over her. He felt her contract around him; she slumped forward onto his body, panting. His hands slid over her slick body. He turned and slid out of her, much to her dismay. He slid off the sofa, and before she could react, his mouth found her heat, causing her whole body to jerk. "Angel, I have never--" she gasped, and a moan cut the rest of her statement off as his tongue glided over her wetness.

Buffy was lost in pleasure she had never new existed. He sent her over the edge three more times before sliding back into her. Her legs cradled his hips as they moved, and he filled her completely. The sensations were too much, and soon she was sailing again. Angel kept a tight rein on his control. He wanted to give as much as he could, his pace was steady, but it was getting harder, she was moving with him, matching him, thrust for thrust. Her hands know held her breasts as she teased her own nipples into hardened pebbles. "Buffy," he panted, quickening his pace. The sounds of their wet flesh slapping together filled the room. His hand cupped her shoulder, pulling her to him once, twice, and he was lost. The force of his explosion sent Buffy over the edge with him. He fell on top of her, completely exhausted.

He kissed her lips, smiling. Her face was glowing. "I love you," he breathed but she has already fallen asleep. He shifted so they were spooned together he was still deep inside of her. Hours later, Buffy woke with the sensation of him moving within her, and she opened her eyes to find him staring at her, his eyes glowing dimly. She smiled in the darkness, taking all he offered. They rest of night was spent loving each other without words. The sun was just beginning to kiss the sky when they both fell asleep, completely spent.

Buffy woke, feeling all warm and fuzzy, and she looked out the window to see that the sun was shining. She looked over her shoulder at Angel, and her heart filled. "How am I going to let you go?" she whispered. She slipped from under his arm and pulled her clothes on; she had just made it to the kitchen when Giles walked in. He stopped, staring at her.

"I take it you slept well?" he asked. Buffy suddenly felt she needed his guidance.

"Giles are you up for a walk?" she asked.

He smiled, "Just you and me?" he asked. He had missed their quiet times.

"Yeah, let me get dressed and we'll go." She quickly showered and pulled on a pair of shorts and top. She left a note and left with Giles. She waited until they reached the park to say anything.

"Business or personal, which do you want first?" she asked, handing him his coffee.

He looked at the colorful paper cup. "It's just coffee, right? No frappy this or that?" he asked, making her smile.

"No frappy nothing." she laughed.

"Business, then." he said, breaking his muffin in half and passing one piece to her. They had found a place in the park to sit.

"I found a way to kill Gaven. I found it in the Watcher's journals. The documenter was there when the spell was placed on him to keep him protected.," she said, and he took his glasses off.

"How could I have missed that?" he said.

Buffy frowned, "Giles, you're human. We all missed it. Finding it is all that matters."

He covered her hand with his. "Buffy, I am your watcher, it's my job," he started, but she cut him off.

"Don't, Giles. You are more than just a Watcher." he looked at her. She did not miss the question in his eyes, "Giles, you know that both Dawn and I could not do without you. You have always been there. You're my family Giles; I love you more than words can say." His eyes glazed over with tears, but he blinked them away.

"I know things have been hard with Angel, me, and Gaven. A lot of change in a short time, but never doubt that you are not needed." He squeezed her hand.

"Okay, what kills Gaven?" he asked putting his glasses back on his handsome face.

Buffy swallowed. "Me. I kill Gaven." She went on to explain, and by the time she was done, he was pale.

"No, it's too risky," he said.

She smiled. "It's the only way," she said, and Giles knew she was right.

"Spike isn't going to like this," he said, looking up at the sky.

She sighed, "I know but it's the only way." He just looked at her.

"Okay, next on the agenda." he said, not wanting to talk about Gaven any longer.

"Angel and I made love," she said all in one breath, and she told him about her discussion and how she thought it would be best if he left to get his head on straight to make sure he wanted this and her.

Giles listened. "That is all good, Buffy, but what do you need my help with? You seem to have it all in order."

She dropped her head. "I don't want him to go. I'm afraid he won't come back. Giles, I love him so much." she said, looking at the child playing ball with his father.

"Buffy, if it is meant to be, it will happen" Giles did not know what else to say so he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and gave her comfort the way only a father could.

Back at the house, Spike slipped from Dawn's room and made his way downstairs. It was too quiet. He opened the door to the basement and listened. When he heard nothing, he went downstairs and stopped cold when he saw Angel sleeping soundly on the sofa. Spike could tell he was naked under the thin blanket and he felt anger at the older man. He turned and went upstairs.

Dawn saw his face. "What's wrong?" She had read Buffy's note.

"Nothing." he said as he paced the room.

"Spike," Dawn said, touching his arm.

"He slept with her, he knows he is going to leave her and he did it anyway."

Dawn did not know what to say so she offered, "It was their choice," she said, knowing this would be hard for her sister.

Spike pulled her close. "I know it is, but it doesn't make it any easier."

Wanting to break the tension, she held up Buffy's note. "We have a meeting to prepare for." Dawn went upstairs to take a shower.

Spike waited until he heard the water running and retraced her steps until he was lying back in her bed. Dawn walked into her room wrapped in her robe. She stopped, seeing Spike sleeping, and smiled, letting the robe drop to the floor. She climbed into bed and nestled herself against him.

Buffy was a little surprised that no one was up yet. She put the box of muffins down and started the coffee; Giles went to make some calls. "Grab that journal, please," he called out. Buffy quietly made hers way downstairs she stopped at the base of the steps to look at Angel sleeping. He was beautiful, and the urge to go to him was strong. She picked up the journal and leaned down to kiss him.

His arm snaked out and grabbed her, pulling her on top of him. He rolled slightly, pinning her in between the cushions and his body. "I woke up and you were gone," he said kissing her neck.

"I had things to do," Buffy laughed as he began to kiss her neck. "Angel the others are on their way over."

He released her with a groan. "When did you become all work and no play?" He pulled on his pants, "I will head home and be back." He turned to look at her, and he saw the look of disappointment in her eyes at the quick dismissal. "I am leaving now because if I don't you'll be naked writhing beneath me before you could blink." he clarified. Buffy's face grew hot at the image that formed in her mind. He leaned down and kissed her.

Buffy followed him upstairs and saw him out before turning and making her way upstairs to wake Dawn. Buffy was still in a dream state when she twisted the knob and pushed the door open, "Da--" the rest was lost in seeing Dawn naked and nestled in Spike's arms. Spike opened his eyes. "Buffy," he called out, pulling the covers over Dawn's body.

"Sorry," Buffy muttered. "I should have knocked."

She closed the door, and Spike swore under his breath, and then nudged Dawn. "Wake up love, we've been seen."

Dawn gasped, "Giles!"

Spike laughed at the horror on her face, "No, worse." he said, pulling on his pants.

"Buffy," Dawn groaned and flopped back on the bed. They both got dressed and went downstairs. The others had arrived and were seated around the table. Buffy came into the room when the doorbell rang she went to get it.

"Sarg," Bill said, standing on the porch. "I brought these over since you'll need them. It's only a month and half way." He passed her the envelope, which held the ball tickets. "Buffy, what happened to your shoulder?" he asked, looking at the bruise and tender spot where the new skin had grown over.

Buffy had to think fast, "Rock climbing with Dawn." He looked at her and frowned. "Bill, you want a cup of coffee?" she asked.

He shook his head. "No, I have to go in; someone broke into St. Mike's and tore the place up."

She looked at him. "St. Mike's, why St. Mike's?" she asked.

"There were a lot of old text books that were taken, blood. I'm thinking devil worship."

Buffy felt uneasy. "I'll come with you," she said. She left him in the living room. "Giles, I have to go to work." she called out.

Spike caught her in the hallway, "Slayer," he started, but she shook him off.

"Sorry, I have to go. Bill is waiting downstairs, can it wait?" He gave an affirmative shake of his head. She pulled on her clothes and gun and was gone.

"We miss you, Sarg. The place it too quiet." Bill said, tossing her a glance, and was rewarded with a smile.

"I'll be back soon enough." she said. They approached the scene. "Block that street off," she began barking orders, seeing people standing in awe of what was going on. Buffy pulled on rubber gloves. The church was a mess. "Bag everything," Bill called out. Buffy noticed the burn marks on the sides of the books from the fire. There were piles of ash along the floor.

_Vampires,_ she thought. She turned to look at her partner, "Bill, whom ever did this is long gone."

"Summers," a fellow detective called out, "You have got to see this!" he said, calling them into the back room. "There is a lot of blood back here. I can't find any animal carcasses or bodies," he said.

"Thanks, Tim." Buffy said, stopping. She looked at the back wall; there in plain sight was her cross and bow symbol as well as Angel's tattoo for all to see. There was also a body with a railroad spike rammed in its head. Last was a key, all of them drawn in blood.

"Buffy," Bill touched her hand. She jumped. "What is it?" he asked, and she shook her head.

"My friend has a tattoo like that drawing," Bill stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"Oh," was all he said.

She began to look around, the smell of blood heavy in the air. "I want a list of all that was taken, ASAP." she said, gazing around the room. She left the room and came back with a camera and began to take pictures of the drawings. She used a whole roll of film and then passed the camera to Tim "Get these developed at the crime lab and drop a copy of them at my place once they're done." He left and she turned when something caught her eye: a wall tapestry that was not hanging right. "Bill," she called out making the man stop.

"What is it?" he asked, following her gaze. Buffy pointed to the tapestry. He came to stand by her; she reached for the pull string and gave it a tug. "Looks like something is inside," he said.

The runner came down, and she swallowed her scream. Both Buffy and Bill were suddenly caught in the downpour of what was in the wrap. "Jesus!" Bill yelled, jumping back. He saw a body fall to the ground in a lifeless heap.

Buffy blinked, soaked. "Are you alright?" Bill asked wiping his face, his hands coming away red. "What the hell?" he gasped, as Buffy looked at her hands. They were red as well. She looked down at her clothes to find that they, too, were a deep, crimson red. She was covered in blood. She looked at the body.

All the strength left her as she saw whose body it was. "No, no, NO!" She fell to her knees. "Riley!" She felt for a pulse, but she knew it was too late. He was a pale white; they had bled him dry.

SPK – You seem to truly understand the hidden pull of emotions of this story thanks for the update

Julyhearts – I am not sure if you like this story or not …lol Trust me there is a purpose for Riley.

Rean – I like the way you think, thanks for the review

Arica P.O.R – I really love your name! A little "Cliffy" is a good thing.

Fivebyfive09 – Thanks for the beta offer but Dana is helping me out. Thanks for the great review

Pinkyblue-ice – You have posted a review for each and every chapter I have posted. Your honest insight is refreshing and makes me want to put more into my story. Your reviews do mean something to me. Thank you for all your support!


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I own nothing – so please don't sue!!

Sorry for the delay, life got so busy… I hope it's well worth the wait….. Warning there is swearing in this chapter Looking forward to your reviews

I am flying without a beta reading --- any volunteers??? So please forgive any errors.

"That is Agent Finn right?" Bill asked forgetting his blood soaked clothes. Buffy was cold she fought the rising grief "Yes" she said her emotions shut down. "I am so sorry" Bill said helping her get to her feet "I knew you two were close." Tim came back in and stopped taking in his two blood soaked co-workers.

"What the hell happened, are you alright" he asked looking Bill then Buffy. "What is it?" she asked trying to hold on to reality, Tim held up a tape "We have it on tape Carl viewed it, all he saw the victim coming into the church looks like he was chasing someone" Buffy was still gazing at Riley cold and lifeless body.

"Faces do you see any faces?" Buffy asked forcing herself to turn away from the body. The rookie shook his head "No they are wearing hoods, we got him just before he was killed then after, I made you a copy" he looked at Buffy her blond hair was matted red. _Riley_ her mind screamed.

"I'll take you home Buffy" Bill said, "Take care of the body"' he said to Tim, Buffy allowed Bill to lead her away, she stopped and turned once more to Tim and said "I want those photos tonight Tim". Once in the car, Buffy spoke softly "I will get cleaned up and come in. I will make the calls to his superiors" Bill did not argue. Buffy pushed open her door, and walked up the walk way to her front door. Dawn saw her enter the house and screamed Angel felt the earth shake as fear sized him.

"Buffy" he grabbed her "What happened where are you hurt" She gently pushed him away "I am not hurt this is not my blood" she said slowly she felt like she was under water, Giles pushed the others out of the way "Buffy" he cupped her face he knew she was in shock. He gently shook her face causing her to look at him "Where did this blood come from?" Buffy looked at him her eyes filled with tears "Riley" she breathed, "Riley is dead. I have to go shower then go back to station his body is there" she stepped away.

The others were shocked, Angel made to follow but Spike stopped him "Don't take advantage of her" he glared.

Angel glared right back "Stay out of if Spike" and went up stairs, he heard the shower running, he quickly undressed and climbed in with her, she stood beneath the spray scrubbing herself. He took the soap puffy and began to wash her; he had to wash her hair twice before it ran clean. Once they were done he pulled her to him and held her. No words were said after a bit she pulled away "I have to go" he helped her out of the shower and wrapped her in a towel.

Back in her room he had her sit on the bed while he pulled out her clothes, he quickly redressed and turned to help her, once she was dressed he helped her braid her long hair. "Thank you," she said, he kissed her softly "Do you need me to come with you?" Angel asked.

Buffy shook her head "No I have to do this" he offered a smile "You can do this Buffy" her arms tighten around his waist.

Once downstairs she said "I will explain everything once I get home" she looked at Spike and Angel "I need you to find where Gaven is now hit all the old haunts. I will be back later."

Buffy looked at Giles "I need you to come with me" he was a little shocked, "Alright" he said reaching for his jacket. "There were books taken from St. Mikes you can tell if there was anything in them we need to worry about." He nodded his head "And I need you" she said taking his hand.

The others watched them leave, Giles paused and looked at Dawn "We will call once we are done so we can meet."

Spike was pulling on his coat. "Lets go," he said to Angel. He did not move right away "Peaches" Spike said shaking his hand in front of his face. Angel blinked "Sorry Riley dead" he leaned against the sofa.

Dawn was visibly upset "He was a nice guy"

Spike grunted. "A wonderful guy."

Angel looked at him "What?" Spike said looking at Angel then Dawn.

"There was no love loss between he and I" Spike said "Don't pretend you liked anymore then I did Angel"

Angel frowned at his words and then offered. "No but I did not wish him dead."

Spike was suddenly angry "Oh excuse me if I am not responding the way you feel is right. I forgot he didn't lock you in a room like a bloody animal and do experiments on you. He did not cut your head open and put things in it that did not belong. He did not make you freak among your own kind. How stupid of me" he turned on his heel and thundered out leaving Angel.

Dawn went to follow, but Angel stopped her "Let him cool off" Angel pulled on his coat and said.

"Lock the door I know you're a grown woman but please humor me" he kissed her forehead and left. He did not see Spike and he noticed Spike's car was gone. "Wonderful" he said opening his car door and climbing in and went on his way.

Buffy stopped to pick up coffees "It was Gaven I need you here with me Giles. Clean eyes I am too close" he smiled at her

"We will work through it together" Once they arrived she signed him in.

"Sarg everything is in your office" a faceless voice told her. Buffy squared her shoulder "The body is where" she called out looking for Bill who had yet to arrive. Tim came forward. "The victim is at the morgue," he told her.

"I want the personal affects from his car in my office, the army will want them with the body" Giles followed her down to the lower level.

Bill was just walking in so Buffy called out, "Bill you remember Mr. Giles" Bill shook his hand.

"Any information you can give us would be great," the younger man said to Giles. Buffy has used Giles knowledge of the occult on passed cases so the other officers were familiar with him.

Bill passed Buffy the chart, "He has no blood in him" he said Buffy took a deep breath, and walked into the room to everyone else she was a picture of calm but Giles did not miss the shaking of her hands.

"Bill I want the contest of his car in my office. I know it is a grunt job but please over see it, Riley was one of us" she said he smiled.

"Sure thing Buffy" Giles pulled back the sheet and starred at the man on the table "What is the time of death" he asked Buffy looked at the chart.

"Approximately 1am" he shook his head "We have 5 hours before he rises we need to get him out" Buffy passed him the chart "I will go make it happen meet me in my office" she left.

The men were bringing in his bags "the rest is car stuff, oil, cables" Bill said Buffy smiled her thanks and asked "Bill please process the release papers they will want the body as soon as we have it ready" he gave a nod and was on it.

She pulled out her day timer and picked up the phone "Forest" Buffy said; "This is Buffy Summers" the man on the other end smiled.

"Slayer how are you?" Buffy closed her eyes "Forest Riley is dead" Forest White sat up in his chair "What when" Buffy told him what she new. "How much time do we have" he asked "just under 5 hours, if you move him I will take care of it" she said "I will be there within the hour, I will take care of the arrangements" Buffy hung up the phone and walked over to Riley's bag and opened it his smell filled her office.

She pulled out a shirt and brought it to her face. Tears rushed to her eyes "Oh Riley" she whispered.

Bill stood in the doorway, he had never see Buffy upset before she was always calm and completely collected. He quietly shut the door, "Buffy" he said touching her shoulder, "Come here" he said opening his arms.

Buffy went without thinking so overcome with grief "He was a good man Bill" she said her head rested on his shoulder, "I saw him Bill he dropped by to say hi before he headed out" Bill rubbed her back

"I am sorry" was all Bill could offer. "Buffy I know now is not a good time but you need to know how I feel" he said. Buffy looked at him confused as he spoke "I care deeply for you" he started.

"Am I interrupting something?" Angel said in the doorway his face set in stone. "Angel" Buffy breathed,

"You remember Bill," she said stepping away from him. Bill looked at Angel "We will talk later" he said looking at Buffy. "No wait Bill, Angel give us a minute" Buffy asked, Angel starred at Bill for a moment longer then he turned and closed the door, jealousy rushed through him.

"I should be the one she seeks comfort from" he thought. Buffy looked at Bill

"You are the best officer in this unit, you're a trust friend Bill" he looked defeated "I did not expect that you returned my feeling I just had to tell you" he turned to walk away stopping at the door.

"He better treat you right Buffy" she looked puzzled "Who" Bill smiled "The man sitting out side looking like he wants to shoot me" he laughed walking out.

* * *

Gaven sat back in his chair he new the slayer had found her solider boy, the vampire Joyce came in "Yes My lord" she asked "Go pay Dawn a visit we need to keep the pressure on. I need to find those journals before the slayer does" What Gaven did not know was that Buffy had already discovered the secret.

* * *

Angle came in "I can't find Spike" he said. He noticed the shirt she held in her arms.

Before she could say anything, Forest rushed in "Sergeant Summer " She knew they had to keep up pretenses. "Angel excuse me," Buffy said. She put the shirt back in the bag then stopped "Forest close the door" he did as she asked him. Once it was done he hugged her close "Finn was crazy about you, you know that right?" he said eyeing Angel who remained silent. Buffy smiled

"He was a wonder friend even after our break up I can't believe it Forest" he held her for a moment longer "We don't have much time we have a warehouse we will move him there. Buffy we can take care of it you do don't" Forest stopped speaking when she shook her head.

"No I will do it I owe him that much" he wrote down the address "Ok I will be there" she said before he left the room.

Buffy called out to him "Forest wait" she ran to him and opened the bag he held "Can I keep this?" she said pulling a shirt out the one she had been holding. He smiled and gave her hand a squeeze with a sad smile he turned and left. Buffy signed Riley body out. She called Bill into her office Angel was in the hallway. "I am going to ride with them until the end of the City limits I will be back to finish the report."

Bill shook his head "I have done it, take it with you review it at home sign off I will send Tim by to pick it up in the morning" Buffy smiled took the file tape and pictures hugged him and left. Giles was now standing with Angle

"Lets go," she said. Once in her jeep Giles turned to her and said, "You should let some else do this" she looked at him her face determined her eyes cold.

"It is my job, it is my fault he is dead, he came here to see me" Angel was a little shaken by her reaction "I'll keep looking for Spike" he said turning around and walked to his car. They drove in silence to the wear house. Buffy walked in Riley was lying on the table "Put down some plastic for the ashes" she said and Forest made it happen.

"Leave us," she whispered. Buffy pulled up a chair and waited. The sun was just setting.

* * *

Dawn sat on the sofa looking at old pictures of Riley and Buffy feeling sad for the man she had known. "Dawnie" she heard someone calling out to her she put the book down went to the front window and there stood your mother in the dress they had buried her in. "Mommy's home, we can have your little witch friend put a curse on me so I can be like Spike" Dawn was very sad her mother would have know Willow's name.

"Your not my mother" she called out more to her self then to the vampire. "Really I knew you were not mine, that you had been dropped into our lives and I loved you all the same, ask Buffy the day before my surgery I told her to keep you and love you she wanted to send you packing to destroy you. Your alive today because of me, did Buffy never tell you what her gift was" Dawn did not answer so the Joyce double continued, enjoying the pain the humans face.

"Her gift is death, that is what she brings look what she did to me and I am her own mother" Spike had come through the back door he had heard the last part of the conversation.

"Dawn get away from the window". He grabbed the cross bow and opened the front door, Joyce vamp saw him and ran.

"Spike that is my mother, she knows things only mom would know" Dawn cried he did not know what to say so he pulled her close.

* * *

Buffy saw the first shake of his body as the demon began to wake up. Forest and Giles where watching from the window above.

He sat up his face demonic "Buffy' he hissed, "see what you have done" he pulled the blanket way from his naked body, "Maybe now you will warm up to me" he slipped off the table.

Buffy remained seated "I am sorry" is all she said.

"You are a broken woman, trapped in two worlds, join me I will make all the pain go away" he slowly walked towards her, he could smell her blood and he was hungry. "We could be together forever" he now stood before her, "I came back for you" his fangs gleamed in the florescent light. Giles was getting nervous, he nearly jumped from his chair when Riley reached out and touched Buffy's face.

"Wait" Forest said his eyes full of tears looking at this life long friend. They watched her stand up and arch her neck. Riley laughed and leaned down he stopped a confused look on his face then there was nothing but ash. Buffy sat down in her chair cold and numb. She did not move for a moment then she got down on her hands and knees and began to sweep the ashes together. Buy the time they reached her she had most it in a bag.

"Send these to his family, tell them it was his wishes to be cremated and returned home to spare them the pain". Forest blinked away tears, as he took the bag he passed Buffy an envelop.

"This is for you, he said should anything ever happen we were to give this to you" Buffy took the envelop, her face was too pale, Giles new she was in shock. He put his arm around her, as she swayed a bit.

"Slayer" Forest asked worry on his face.

She smiled "I am ok" he hugged her close "Take care of yourself" Then they were gone and Buffy was extremely cold.

* * *

Dawn sat at the kitchen table looking at the college brochures for options closer to home. Her mind was not focused on them she was thinking about her visit; Spike was in the basement working off some steam. Angel came into the house.

"He is downstairs," she said not looking up at him.

"How is Buffy" she asked he looked at her "Upset" the way he said it caused her to look up.

"You don't have a problem with this do you" she asked, he shook his head "No I know she had a thing with Riley, just knocks me for a loop when I see her show emotion for him, but I am dealing, it's Bill I have a problem with"

Spike came up stairs and said "You have a problem with anyone that cares for the Slayer" Angel let it go he knew Spike was itching for a fight.

* * *

Gaven opened his eyes; the Slayer was ripe for picking he felt her guilt flowing in waves. He turned to see the Joyce double walk in "I have done what you have asked of me" she smiled.

* * *

Back in the kitchen Dawn answered the phone. "Ok Giles" she said hanging up the phone "it is done they are on their way home" Angle heart lurched for his love, and he knew there was nothing he could do for her. Twenty minutes later they walked in the door. Buffy was pale she held the shirt and files in her hand.

"I will make us some tea" Giles went into the kitchen.

Dawn made sure Buffy did not follow and told Giles what has happened he frowned, Buffy sat on the sofa and Spike came in "Slayer" he said sitting next to her.

"I just want to say I am sorry for your pain Riley was good to you" Buffy shook her head she needs to release her emotions.

"Do you want to fight?" she asked putting down what was in her hands. Spike blinked completely taken off guard "Sure" he said sensing her need to work off some aggression, they went downstairs the other stopped to watch then walk by.

"Where is Angel?" Giles asked Dawn who shrugged "He got a call and went to check it out. I think it had to do with Gaven" Giles gave a nod.

Downstairs Buffy and Spike attacked each other with emotion, they fought hard the intent was to hurt the other, Buffy was covered in sweat, once they were done her body was trembling "Thank you" she whispered, as she made her way upstairs.

She stopped in the kitchen "Giles please give everyone a call and see if they can be here in half an hour. She went up stairs and got into the shower, that is where she let her pain flow, the sound of the water hid her sobs. She reached for some clothes her eyes were puffy and red but she did not care. Everyone was there minus Anya who was with the baby. Willow came to her "I am so sorry" she said hugging her close. Xander was visibly upset he and Riley had become good friend had fishing trips.

Buffy did not see Angle. "I called you all together to talk about Gaven not Riley" Buffy sat down at the table and smiled when Oz passed her a coffee.

"We found out how to kill him" she went on to explain the watcher's journal "How?" Oz asked cutting to the chase. Buffy gazed at Giles and took a deep breath.

"I kill him," she said sipping her coffee. Xander frowned confused "We know that Buffy" she held up hand, Angle came in at that moment "So nice of you to join us" Willow said over her shoulder. Buffy sent Willow a pleading gaze, the little witch bit her tongue.

Buffy went on to explain further, "My blood kills him the journal says only a sword that has pierced my flesh can send him back to hell" they all were silent waiting for her to continue.

Dawn spoke up "So you have to be stabbed then we stab him" she did not like this plan.

"Kind of" Buffy said, realization hit Spike "No way there has to be another way" he stood up.

"What?" Willow asked confused her gaze went from Spike to Buffy. The vampire looked at Willow and said.

"Both Buffy and Gaven have to be stabbed at the same time, once he is on the sword she can stake him" that is when hell broke loss.

Buffy just sat there after a few moments she cut in "It has to be done, one way or the other the question is who is going to stab me?"

Everyone grew silent, "I will" Spike said not looking at her, Dawn shook her head. "Thank you" Buffy said taking his hand.

Dawn spoke up "Spike you can't". Spike turned to look at her "Do you want to do it love, there is no one else"

Buffy looked at Angel then to Spike "Did you find him?" Spike sighed "Yes, he is at the monastery just outside of town" Angel cut in "he is waiting for you the hum on the street is he is ready to make his move" his cell phone rang, Buffy saw the worry cloud his face, "Are they alright?" he asked looking at Buffy "Ok, call me if something changes" he hung up his cell and met Buffy's gaze.

"Cordy and Piper were in an accident, they are fine". Buffy stood up and walked to the window.

"Xander I will walk you home" she said he looked at her and grabbed his coat she looped his arm around her, they made the short walk in silence once inside the house he looked at her "Buff" he started but she just wrapped her arms around him.

"He was my friend," he said into her shoulder. Anya came down stairs and asked "What is wrong, it's not Dawn is it" panic laced her voice. Buffy took Naya into her arms "Hello my little munchkin how are you?" she kissed the baby's face softly.

Xander took his wife by the arm and led her from the room. "Her bottle is on the table please feed her" Anya called out.

Spike opened the front door to Xander's place "Buffy" he called out. "In here" was her response; he followed the sound of her voice. He smiled seeing her with Naya, once he sat down she passed him the baby "Hello love" he whispered, they both fell silent.

"If Dawn stays with me she will never have this" he whispered almost afraid to say it out loud. Buffy remained silent

"No she won't" she finally said "But the choice is hers" she added. Anya came in and sat next to Buffy "I am so sorry" she said taking her hand, Buffy stood up

"Thanks Anya take care of him" the x demon smiled "Go say good bye" Buffy left the room and went to the kitchen where he was pouring a drink.

"Xander when we go out you are not coming" he looked ready to argue, "No you have Naya know that changes everything" he knew she was right. They hugged and Buffy said "I'll see you tomorrow" she went to get Spike and left.

Willow sat with Oz and Dawn "Giles" she called out he came in to the living room "These marking were on the church wall she passed around the photos she had taken from her bag by the door.

They viewed the photos "What does it mean?" Dawn asked a bit unnerved that Gaven knew her secret.

Buffy shrugged "Nothing he is trying to shake me" Giles agreed. "We are all sleeping here tonight," Giles said still gazing at the photos.

Dawn went upstairs to get the room ready she needed a few moments alone to process her inner thoughts. "I need to go over the report and tape I will see you all in a bit".

She went downstairs Giles followed her, the other stayed up stairs "Angel went to get some clothes" he told her.

She passed him the tape, which he popped, into the machine. Spike came down and sat down next to her his arm around her shoulders.

"Angel thought I would be the best choice" She smiled and leaned her head on Giles's chest. Buffy watched as Riley made chase down the street and into the church, she heard the fight and the hissing of the vampires letting her know he fought hard. The screen went black; she leaned forward resting her elbows on her knees.

"Say her name and your pain will end" Gaven voice sounded then the image came up Riley beaten and tied up he looked into the camera, Buffy saw his fear and determination "You will get nothing from me" he gasped one of the cloaked vamps cut him deep on the chest. She new there where buckets at his feet.

"Is she worth all this pain, call her name and it will stop" Riley shook his head back and forth "No" he chanted, this went on for about 3 hours he was cut over and over until he was weak and hanging limply.

"Your last change Mr. Fin" the faceless voice taunted this caused the human to looked up and smile.

"Make sure Mr. Pointy make a good impression on our friend here Slayer, I will see you on the other side" he said before the screen went black Buffy was trembling the next shot was of him dead and lifeless, she watched as the markers were drawn on the wall, as well as his body being wrapped it the wall runner. Giles got up and shut off the TV.

"I'll make up some coffee," he said a little shaken with what he had just seen. Buffy sat very still, "If he had said your name they still would have killed him all the same" Spike offered his arm going around her shoulder.

"Oh Spike" she turned into him tears falling fast as she sobbed into his chest, he held her tight not saying a word. He let her cry until she was spent.

"I will miss him" she spoke into his chest, Angel brought down the coffee looking a bit out of place. Spike kissed her gently and left her with her mate.

He sat down not saying a word she drank her coffee in silence, she noticed Spike had left his cigarettes on the table. Angel watched her reach for them she pulled one out and light it, she picked up the note that was addressed to her. Once the envelope was open she pulled out the letter, Angel watched her eyes mist over,

Buffy,

If you are reading this letter then I am gone. I could not leave this world without saying a few things first. If I were not such a fool I would have said these things to your face. Buffy you were the one and only love of my life, you brought me the most joy I have ever felt. Looking back on our relationship I did a lot of things wrong, our brake up was my fault I needed no… wanted to much. I could not accept things as they were, you were bigger then life, and I tried to fit you into a mold to make my life easier. I am sorry for that. You are one special lady who deserved to be loved and cherished, don't go through life alone Buffy you have a lot of love and life to give. The only things I ask is that you remember me with a smile and live Buffy with no fear you have earned that and so much more. I will never be far way I will see you on the other side when your time is done, you can count on it. If Angel is the one you long to be with go and get him, and be happy. Life is to short; he must be some kind of fool to have let you slip through his fingers to begin with.

Check in on my mom once in a while, she liked you so much.

I love you Buffy Ann Summers.

Love always

Riley.

She folded the paper and finished her cigarette. She leaned back and rested her head on Angel's shoulder.

"I have to review the file then I want to go to bed," she said and he smiled "Ok"

She pulled the file and read through it he noticed she had made some changes then everything was packed up and placed by the table for someone to pick it up. She said nothing to the others as she went upstairs stopping to kiss Giles and pass him the letter.

Angel hung back and stood with Giles they both read the note. He felt tightness in his chest, he went to her. She was already in bed, he quickly undressed and climbed in she melted into him he held her, feeling the wetness on his chest from her tears as they slid silently from her eyes. The sun rose on the quiet house, Buffy woke to the sound of someone knocking on her door she grabbed her robe and pulled it on making her way down the stairs. She pulled open the door.

"Did I wake you?" Bill said he handed her a large coffee and a box of donuts. She smiled ushering him into the living room and said "Thank you Bill" her hand went to his knee, "For all you did yesterday" She drank her coffee slowly he reviewed the file and her changes.

"Great can't wait until you back full time" he stood up "Bill I will be going away tomorrow, for a few days if you need me leave a page and I will get back to you as soon as I can" he smiled.

"Good take some quiet time, your suppose to be on vacation yet you always look more warn out whenever I see you" she waved him off and went back to the living room today would be a quiet day of meditation and preparation.

It was about 10 am before Giles made his way downstairs she handed him a coffee

"Bacon is in the oven," she said. He took in her fresh face; she was wearing her running shoes,

"Jogging" he asked before she sailed out the door. He new what was in store for today so he drank his coffee and went to shower and dress. Dawn woke to Spike gently caressing her face,

"How will you do it?" she asked, he rolled over so she was beneath him "I can give you a play by play love" he joked, his smile grew serious when he saw no laughter in her blue eyes. "Do what?" he rolled off of her.

"I mean how will you not kill her," She asked looking at him, Spike understood.

"Dawn I would never do anything to hurt Buffy you know that right. We will go through what needs to be done before had" she looked at him.

"I am sorry I did not mean to imply" she wrapped her arms around him "I know it will be hard and I do not mean to add more pressure."

Spike went to speak but her mouth covered his. Spike soon forgot everything around him but Dawn as she explored his body making sweet love to him. Angel woke slowly reaching for something that was not there. He sat up and looked around but the room was empty. He got up, he found Giles sitting at he table pouring over journal entries "She gone jogging" Angel smiled his response he slowly drank his coffee, "To day will be a quiet day, Buffy will prepare for battle she will meditate and rest." Angel heard the silent warning, "I have a few of those journal at my place I asked Cordy to send them down".

Giles looked at him "Your leaving" he asked. Angel was a bit thrown off "Yes" was all he offered.

Giles met and held his gaze "You will be coming back" Angel smile "Yes Buffy is right I need to settle my life there then come here with not ties. Trust me I will be back" he stood up and left, the watcher heard his car pull out and drive down the street.

Buffy walked into the house and saw Dawn and Spike working together on the Tunnels under the monastery. "Dawn" she called out she motioned for her sister to follow her.

Once they were down stairs she patted the spot beside her "Are you happy?" she asked her sister,

"Yes I am" was Dawns rely. "What about school?' she asked drinking some water.

"I have already applied to Sunnydale University as well as Clemens just outside LA, I should know something by next week." Buffy leaned back looking at her sister she took in the beautiful woman she had become.

"How was it?" Buffy asked she had sensed a change in both Dawn and Spike upon seeing them together. Dawn blushed "Wonderful it hurt a little but Spike was wonderful"

Buffy smiled "Are you upset?" Dawn asked resting her head on her sister lap. "No your both adults and I trust you to know if you were ready or not, a physical relationship makes things harder" they fell into silence.

"Buffy did mom know I was the key" she asked afraid to hear the answer. The slayer stopped stroking her sister hair, "Yes Dawn she knew you were entrusted to me, but it did not change anything you were her little pumpkin belly to the very end, why do you ask?" she had never told her sister about her conversation with her mother.

"I had a visitor here" Dawn said slowly telling Buffy was happened. Buffy bit down on the rage that flowed through her.

"Dawn that is not mom, you know that deep down somehow he has tapped into our memories" Dawn wanted to ask her about her gift but kept her questions to herself.

"I know what the answer will be but I will ask I want to be there" Buffy shook her head "No, you are not trained.

Buffy watched her sister go upstairs she to stood up and began to stretched once she was relaxed she sat down and began to meditate, calling on the slayers that had come before her, asking for their guidance and strength to defeat her foe.

Angel walked out of the shower and stopped there stood Joyce, "How did you get in here?" he growled he noticed the black hood cloak she wore. "Don't you miss the old ways?" she said stretching across his bed, "I can be whomever you desire," she said.

Buffy's meditation was suddenly broken as Gaven filled her thoughts "Slayer a small gift" he whispered. Willow sat up feeling the change in the air "He is here, Gaven is here," she said getting up from the table. Buffy opened her eyes and saw her mother naked body stretched out before Angel his body was wet and all he wore was a towel.

"No" Buffy cried shaking her head trying to break free, Willow came down the stairs.

"Buffy" She turned toward her friends voice,

"Willow help me" she said Willow grabbed her head, Buffy eyes were open but she was not seeing her friend.

"I can be whomever you desire," Joyce whispered changing into Darla, "Come back to us Angelus, she is not worthy of your affection. She has lied to you" Angel walked away from her pulling on his pants.

Once they were on he face her, "Get out" he said pulling a stake free of his coat. "She has been with the other Vampire, the one my master seeks" Angel trying to control his anger and pain his eyes began to glow. "That is why the solider left" Angel stepped towards the bed "I don't believe you" he reached for her but she danced away from him laughing.

"You should have headed Joyce's warning and stayed away" Buffy felt like she had been kicked in the stomach. "Thank you," he said, this caused her to stop, "For what" she sneered. Angel threw the stake at her. "For confirming that you are NOT Joyce Summers" the vampire scowled before she turned to ash and littered his carpet. He sat on his bed breathing deep "Buffy and Spike" then the connection was lost the last thing she saw was Angel sitting on his bed his eyes a blaze.

Willow released Buffy who told her what she had seen. "I have to go and talk to him" Willow stood back "Go I will tell Giles" Willow watched her friend race up the stairs, and out the front door.

Giles called out to her, he was holding a long sword "We need to get this ready" he said expecting to see Buffy but was met with Willow.

Spike came in to the den "Where did Buffy?" his words died on his lips seeing the sword.

"She went to see Angel they will be back in a bit" Willow said, the witch turned back to Giles. "Something is not right I feel it"

Spike left them he needed to get his fear in check, deep down he was not sure if could actually do what was needed of him.

Buffy parked her jeep in the driveway and used her key to get inside; she quietly made her way upstairs.

"Angel" she called out pushing open his bedroom door, he looked at her "What are you doing here?" he asked his eyes still a blaze.

She recoiled like she had been struck, hurt she turned away, tears blurred her vision, he moved with the speed of a vampire his strong arms closed around her pulling her to him, she was on the bed beneath him the air rushing out of her lungs.

"Angel" she gasped, his lips crashed down on hers his tongue pushed it's way into her mouth,

"Stop it" she cried, shaking her head, She gave a mighty shove and lifted him off, she got up and ran for the door crying, she had not anticipated his anger.

He tackled her from behind "Did you sleep with Spike?" he shouted pinning her to the ground.

"You're a liar, you condemn me! But your fucking your sister boyfriend" he shouted shaking her.

Buffy cried out when her head hit the floor, this seem to knock Angel out of his rage.

"Oh my God, Buffy get away from me," Angel said backing away from her; he could hear Gaven laughing madly within his head.

"Buffy I am sorry," he reached for her but she scurried away

"Don't touch me," she cried tears running down her face. Buffy new there was something wrong with him. She was on her feet running,

"Buffy" he called out chasing her. She looked over her shoulder to see where he was and that is when her foot caught the railing, she teetered for a moment then the stairs came rushing up to meet her, he watched in horror as she toppled down the steps she landed on the marble with a sickening crunch.

He raced down the steps "Buffy" he clearly heard Gaven laughing in his head. It was deafening Angel put his hands on his ears "Get out of my head" he yelled.

Buffy body was riddled with pain, she knew her shoulder was dislocated she slowly got to her feet, and limped to the door, she turned seeing Angel clutching his head his eyes on fire. She made it to the car.

She reached for her cell phone and dialed home "Willow" Buffy cried into the phone "I think Gaven did something to Angel."

Willow listened scared for her friend "Where are you?" she asked "I'll be home in 5" Buffy cried all the way home.

Spike was on the driveway, she fell into him arms, he took in her ripped shirt, the cut on forehead and lip, "Son of a bitch" he groaned.

He passed her to Giles and got in her Jeep and peeled out of the Driveway "Willow" Buffy said "Go they will kill each other"

Dawn helped her inside, applying pressure to her forehead to stem the flow of blood. Willow and Oz made chase following Spike.

"Did he do this to you?" Dawn gasped.

Buffy shook her head "No I fell down the stairs getting away from him". Giles looked at Dawn "Go get the first aid kit".

Spike kicked in the door he saw Angel on the floor "You son of a bitch" he grabbed him bringing him to his feet, his first connected with Angel's face he went flying, Spike felt his face change,

"Did you see her?" he yelled kicking him in the stomach, Angel rolled with impact, getting to his feet his eyes glowing

"Your secret is out I know you have been fucking her Spike. Does Dawn know your screwing her sister" Spike stopped completely in shock

"You are mad, I have never had sex with Buffy," he said.

"You will pay for touching what is mine" Angel said picking up a stake, Spike went deadly still his eyes narrowed,

"She is a lying slut who will screw any cold prick that is sent her way" Spike lunged at him his fist connecting with Angel; he managed to knock the stake out of his hands. Fist were flying, as they beat each other up,

"You don't deserve her," Spike said "All you do is bring pain" his elbow smashed into his chest Angel toppled over taking Spike with him.

Willow and Oz rushed in, "Stop it" she yelled with a wave of her hand she separated them, Angel was un affected, he charged spike who was held by Willow.

Oz lunched forward pinning him to the wall "Don't make me change Angel" Oz growled.

Willow walked up to him and said, "Look at me" when he did not meet her eyes she cupped his chin her eyes bore into his.

"Gaven has him" Willow said out loud "Hold him" she said placing her hands on his head she began to draw power there was a gust of wind and Angel screamed thrashing against Oz.

A hideous howl filled the air as Gaven retreated from Angel, he slumped forward Spike fell to the floor.

He was bruised and beaten slowly Angel came back to himself,

"Buffy I need to see Buffy" he panted getting to his feet his eyes fell on Spike "I am sorry I had no control" he started but the vampire shook his head his face returning to normal.

"All you do is bring pain" he turned and left the house.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I don't own anything !!!!!!

Chapter 16

"Buffy please tell me something is wrong with Angel, that he could not do this" Dawn asked helping her sister into bed, not wanting to believe Angel could hurt her sister in this way.

"No Dawn, it was not Angel, he was crazy. I have never seen him like that before." Buffy pulled the blankets up to her chin "Wake me in an hour" Buffy sighed. Her shoulder was on fire; Giles had popped it back into place moments before.

Dawn was making her way down stairs when Spike came in his face bleeding "I am fine" he said seeing Dawn's eye cloud with fear. "I am going to get cleaned up," he grunted walking by her and up the stairs. Dawn gave him the space he needed to calm down.

Spike stood beneath the shower letting the water wash away his rage, the demon inside howled wanted blood. He need to control himself he pulled on some clothes and went down the hall to Buffy's room opened the door and called out "Slayer." Buffy did not move but softly said, "It wasn't him Spike"

Spike came into the room and sat on the side of her bed "No but he let him in, his ever doubting questioning of you and any male" Buffy took his hand in hers sleep was almost upon her. Spike just sat there listening to her breath slow down until it was deep and even.

Buffy was fast asleep when Dawn came in, she knew Spike would be with her. She leaned down and kissed him "I love you" she whispered. He cupped her face "Not as much as I love you". She left them to return downstairs.

Angel walked into the house just as she came into the living room he was just as beaten up as Spike was. Willow asked looking at Dawn "Where is Giles we have to work on that sword. We don't have much time left." Dawn pointed her in the right direction.

"You hurt her Angel, you hurt her before a battle" Dawn said sitting down; she was not angry just stating a point. Angel sat down next to her and explained what happened "I am sorry, I could not get him out," he said once he was done.

"Buffy knew it wasn't you, why don't you go kick Spike out and sit with her while she sleeps" Dawn smiled, Angel kissed the hand he held and he went up stairs and pushed open Buffy's door stopping seeing Spike sitting on her bed her hand clutching his.

Almost sensing him her eyes opened. "Angel" she called out, tears came to his eyes as he took in her bruised face he saw the butterfly tape on her fore head and lip.

"I am so sorry Buffy" he went to her kneeling by her she sat up so he was between her legs her arms wrapped around him "It's ok" she comforted him rocking him gently.

Spike got up and left the room. "Dawn" he called out finding her where Angel had left her "Walk with me I need to clear my head" he walked outside in to the sun his arm wrapping around her to pull her close.

Angel pulled away from her "I am sorry" he said touching her taped lip. Buffy took his bigger hand in her and laughed.

"The bruise will be gone by tomorrow" she said with a shake to her head. Before she could say any more Giles came in "Buffy we must prepare for tomorrow" she gave him a nod and waited until Angel move for her to get to her feet. She pulled on a pair of sweats and a t-shit Angel felt shame wash over him as he saw the large purple bruise on her shoulder and hip.

Willow smiled seeing her, "We have finished preparing the sword. Where is Spike?" Willow asked getting ready to call out to him. Just then Spike and Dawn came in from the backyard.

"I heard you getting ready to shout" he joked sending her a wink. He slapped Oz on the shoulder

"Trust me you don't ever want to giver her a reason to shout"

Oz laughed and said as he sat down at the table "I will keep that under advisement".

Willow was happy to see there was no tension between the two; it made things so much easier that they got along. Spike sat down his gaze settling on Angel. The x-vampire saw the hidden rage behind his gaze, he find himself meeting and holding the younger vampire's intense stare.

Buffy finally sat down, she sensed the under current hostilities between her friends. Buffy took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment finding the center within herself, she closed away the pain and mixed emotions. When she opened her eyes she was all slayer.

"I have been studying these maps with Giles," she said pointing to blue prints on the table. "I think if we leave just before sunrise and go in here we should be in the main tunnels by sun rise." Buffy said looking at Giles who gave a nod to show he agreed.

"Willow you will be our big gun, once I am with Gaven I will need to make sure he can not escape. That and the sword are your main priorities" Buffy said starring at her friend; who slowly nodded her head.

Buffy turned to look at Giles and Oz " Your job is to hold the others a bay while I get busy with Gaven" Buffy's eyes turned to Spike;

"Spike once I get a good hold on him that is when you will poke us, we only have one shot at this we need to get it right"

Spike looked at her "I know what I have to do" he gave her a quick wink.

She smiled feeling her heart burst with love. "What am I suppose to do?" Angel asked Buffy looked at him and said with a smile.

"Your job is to protect Willow no one or thing gets close to her, she will be working her magic on me and the sword" he looked confused.

Willow turned to Angel and explained "Once Buffy gets close to Gaven I will be locking them in a protective bubble you might call it, that way Gaven can not run if the tables turn" Willow smiled touching his arm. "I will need to be completely focused one wrong move and I can hurt Buffy rather then protect her" Angel covered her hand with his own "I got it"

"Giles" Buffy said trying to keep the grimace of pain from her face as she moved her shoulder, the pain was pounding within her joint but she did not want to worry anyone so she tried to hide it, "Anything more you would like to add?" she asked.

"Once Gaven see Buffy with the sword he will try to call it to him, he will know that we have the journals and know how to kill him, he has just as much power over the sword as Buffy will. Willow will focus her power on the sword to keep it neutral that way Buffy can better handle it and should he get it, Willow will have some level of control" Angel understood what was going to happen, but he could not help but ask.

"Who protects you?" he asked looking at Buffy, Spike smiled shaking his head.

"She protects her, she is the slayer or have you forgotten that" Buffy stepped in between them.

"Spike is my partner in this he will be close Angel just keep your charge out of harms way, Spike will be a distraction to Gaven, I need you on Willow she is the key if this is going to work" Angel stood up "I understand"

Giles broke up the meeting "Dinner in half an hour then everyone is to rest we will begin preparing to leave at 2 am. Buffy sat at the table starring at the sword, once everyone was gone she picked it up feeling it's weight her shoulder ached horrible. "This is heavy," she said more to herself then anyone. She shuddered looking at the gleaming tip; the thought of it tearing into her was unnerving.

Spike who had been standing in the door way looked at Angel and said "No it is your dislocated shoulder making it feel heavy." Buffy glared at him, put the sword down and went to the basement. He followed her leaving Angel and Giles in the kitchen.

"I killed Joyce," Angel said to Giles who smiled "I am glad you did, it saved Buffy from having to face old pain" they chatted about what happened. Finally Angel asked the million-dollar question, one that had been on his mind from the very start.

"Can Spike do this" Giles face went serious "I would trust no one else to do it" Angle gave a short nod not sure how he felt. Giles picked up on the hurt that flashed on his face. He reached out and took hold of Angel's arm and said.

"Don't take it to heart Angel they have been a team for a very long time it does not mean she does not need you with her as well" Angel new this but he still felt a little out in the cold.

Downstairs Buffy turned on Spike "Let it go Spike" the blond vampire laughed.

"I can't he hurt you. You are going into battle in a few hours and you are injured tell me how am I to let that go" he ranted.

Buffy smiled "Spike I am fine if I were not I would not be going in there" he sat down "You have no choice he is waiting" Buffy knelt before him "Spike" she started but he shook his head "Don't say it Slayer you will be fine" she remained silent leaving what needed to be said in the air.

Dinner was a quiet affair once they were done Giles went up to Buffy room with her upon her request.

"Giles if something should go wrong, here are my personal papers" she handed him an envelope. He opened it and read it his eye widen in shock "I can't accept this" she smiled.

"Dawn can only sell if you agree and my assets go to her through you until she is 30" he passed her the envelope "I won't need this."

Buffy smiled taking the envelope and putting it in her top drawer. "Lets rub this in then it is bed" he began to rub the healing ointment into her shoulder the pain was great and she swallowed her moan, not wanting to let on how much her shoulder pained her.

Buffy soon was tucked in bed sleep was just a breath away. Angel sat with Willow looking at the map trying to decide which would be the best place to work in. "Willow" Angel said not looking at her, "I love her" he said she kept her eyes on the map but responded.

"I know that, but sometimes love has nothing to do with it" she watched him circle a corner "That is the safest spot for you" she agreed and rolled her shoulders.

"Oz I am going to lie down" Willow called out getting to her feet. He kissed her and went up stairs, Willow changed into her pjs and went down the hall to use the bathroom when she saw Dawn slip into Buffy's room, she followed she gently pushed the door open and saw Dawn climb into bed with her sister, Dawn smiled "Care to join us" Willow found herself walking into the room and climbing into bed.

Buffy was tucked it between her sister and best friend. Soon all three were in a deep sleep, Buffy dreams were haunted, she was trapped Gaven's laughter all around her, "He will turn on you," he chanted over and over again. Flashes of Spike turning to ash danced before.

Giles gently shook Buffy "Time to get up" she sat up breathing hard. "Buffy are you all right?" Giles asked worried.

She took a moment to collect her self "Rough Dreams Giles" she slid from the bed finally noticing Dawn and Willow she smiled and stood up "Let them sleep for another hour" she said limping to the clothes she had laid out before going to bed.

She scooped them up and they left the room she went to shower down the hall as not wake anyone. Her shoulder pained her and the bruise on her hip was an angry red and black. Once she was done she pulled back her hair and braided it she slipped on a white spandex T-shirt, Buffy smiled as she slipped on her brown leather pants and boots. She stood there for a moment gazing at her self she felt her power surge threw her tired body "Show time" she smiling at her reflection.

Buffy made her way downstairs and was surprised to see Angel and Spike up, heat washed over her seeing Angel in black leather she took in his muscled arms and broad shoulders thanks to the t-shirt he wore. Spike was also appealing in black leather but he wore a tight shirt that stretched across his toned chest. Buffy smiled saying nothing, she went to the back door and opened it up, and Angel waited until she had closed the door to asked.

"Where is she going" Spike slowly drank his coffee "She is going to stretch" the former vampire stood and watcher her go through a ti chi routine. Willow walked into the kitchen dressed in jeans and shirt Oz was not far behind. Dawn was the last to emerge. Giles finished packing his bags "It is time" he said as Buffy walked through the door.

Angel tried not to focus on her bruises or cuts she was beautiful. Buffy walked over to Dawn the others filtered out of the room. "Dawn" she started but the young woman shook her head fighting off tears.

"Don't say it," she said. She pulled her sister close "Be careful, and I will see you soon" she kissed her then turned away. Buffy walked out of the kitchen her emotion tightly capped. Spike want to his love, she turned into him "I am so scare for the both of you" she cried, he held her as she got her feelings under control.

"I will say the same thing to you that I told her, be careful and I will see you soon" Dawn smiled, Spike kissed her gently

"You can count on it" he left her in the kitchen. Xander and Anya walked into the house, "Thanks for coming" Buffy said.

Xander gently grabbed her "Naya will be waiting to hear all about it, don't make me have to come looking for you" his voice was thick with emotion.

Buffy kissed him "I love you Xander Harris" she looked at Anya and leaned down to kiss the baby then walked out into the night.

Angel drove with Willow and OZ, leaving Spike and Buffy with Giles they both sat in the back seat while Giles drove her jeep all was silent.

They arrived at the entry point. Buffy walked to the back of the car and opened the trunk. She began to store away her weapons Angel watched her he noticed her slip a gun into her hip holster, she saw the questions in his eyes, "Riley's gun" she muttered.

Angel smiled his understanding, he was amazed at her transformation, gone was the soft woman who had made love to him, the chosen one stood before him proud and strong. He reveled in her glory and her prow less.

They began their climb into the tunnels it took them almost an hour to scale the wall. They were at the tunnel entrance, Buffy bit back on the pain in her shoulder and hip.

"Your limping slayer" Spike said.

Buffy smiled "No worries Spike, I am fine, just watch yourself"

Spike took her hand "Are we ready?" he asked. Buffy saw the hesitation in his blue eyes.

Trying to ease his burden she said "Are you ready you have the hard part" he tapped the sword on his shoulder. Her dream came to her suddenly she took his arm the other stopped at her sudden movement

"Spike don't be a hero, think of Dawn" he frowned but gave a nod of his head.

Angel came to stand before Buffy, his hand gently cupped her chin "Promise you will be careful" he forced her to meet his gaze; she starred at him drinking him in.

"I promise you be safe and take care of Willow" Buffy muttered before he kissed her gently

"I love you," he whispered. Buffy placed a hand on his heart "I love you" she stepped away and looked at Willow and Giles "I will see you all later."

Giles wanted to grab her hug her close but he knew she was looking to him for strength. They parted ways, the tunnels were dark and smelly "Lovely" she muttered the smell was horrendous. "To think the monks would be clean"

Spike chuckled behind her "I don't think it was the monks who made the mess" they were quiet as they walked deeper and deeper into the pit. Buffy could feel the sun rising she stopped in front of a door reaching for it's handle the sound of metal scraping hurt her ears.

They walked up the stairs and into what looked like the great hall, "Slayer, so nice of you to come for a visit" Gaven said he was standing behind the alter dressed all in black. Suddenly the room was filled with Vampires they dropped from the ceiling and out the doors that lined the walls.

Buffy smiled her body relaxing "Nice job with the windows" she said pointing to the blacked out glass. Buffy removed her jacket letting it drop to the floor, her eyes trained on Gaven.

"I did not come here to talk love" she said her gaze locking in on him.

"I see you brought your trained pet" Gaven said sneering at Spike "I will enjoy making you scream Spike" he laughed.

Buffy took her eyes off of Gaven and scanned the room looking for the door the others would be coming from. Angel picked a great spot for defense,

"Tell me slayer are you ready to die?" Gaven asked leaning against the alter licking his lips. Buffy tossed a look to Spike and smiled, all hell broke loose Buffy brought her cross bow and fired.

The vampire's on the floor approached attacking. Buffy and Spike became on person watching each other's back. The others heard the fighting before they arrive. Gaven sat back; he had yet to notice the sword on Spikes back, he was too busy watching Buffy's body move. "You look good enough to eat my love" he called out.

Buffy turned driving her stake into a vamp, she saw Giles and Oz take up the fight, she fought her way to Gaven, Spike behind her. "I got all pretty just for you" Buffy called back killing another vampire.

Angel toss a vamp into the air his eyes glanced at Buffy and Spike, they moved as one person, weaving in and out of the chaos below killing all that moved. Gaven got to his feet as she approached. Finally Buffy stood facing him breathing deep, Spike his back to her.

Gaven finally caught sight of the sword, "I see we are playing for keeps" he said with a wave of his hand, Buffy felt the rush of air crash into her, the next thing she was aware of was she was sailing in the air, Spike saw her lift of her feet and grabbed at her she pulled him along with her, they both crashed into the wall, Spike took the hardest hit protecting her.

"You have gained weight," he laughed pulling her to her feet, Buffy smiled at Spikes words. Even in the darkest moments his dry humor gave her hope. Giles and Oz had them covered. Buffy smiled when suddenly Spike feet were pulled out from under him, Gaven was calling him.

"Willow" Buffy screamed chancing Spike, she jumped on the alter swinging her legs out connecting with Gaven's face, suddenly there was a loud popping sound Gaven went to reach for Spike and he was unable to "It is just you and I lover" she said softly batting her eyes as her hand cupped her chin in a coy gesture.

"The Witch" Gaven cried his eye looking for Willow he saw her behind Angel, Buffy watched his eyes turn from crystal blue to fire red suddenly the wall of Vampires began to move toward Angel and Willow. Oz saw this and howled She watched his body begin to shimmer moments later the beast stood before them leaping up the rocky sloped he swiped is massive paw taking the heads off of anyone who go to close to his beloved.

Gaven turned on Buffy; "Shall we dance my love" Gaven spat, his face changing to show the demon within. The battle between Gaven and Buffy began and it was a knock down brawl. The intent was to hurt and destroy. Spike fought just outside the invisible barrier, Angel watched Buffy fighting inside the bubble, as best as he could while keeping Willow clear.

Gaven kicked her in the hip as she was getting to her feet; he turned looking at Spike he raised his hand trying to call the sword to him.

"The sword, Willow he is going for the sword". Buffy screamed as she landed a solid punch to his chest knocking him off his feet, Spike fell to the ground Gaven's hold on the sword gone. Her shoulder was hurting her badly Gaven sensed this and went after it.

Buffy blocked a kick but could do nothing about the double fisted punch he landed to her shoulder; she could not stop the cry of pain that erupted from her mouth.

Gaven laughed seeing the look of pain wash over Buffy's face. He grabbed her by her blond hair and "Your cries of pain, they are music to my ears" he shouted in her face releasing her hair to have her tumble to the floor.

Angel was torn, calling out her name Buffy slowly got to her feet just to be backhanded in the mouth Spike began to punch the bubble "Slayer" he shouted as he saw the blood spurt from her mouth.

Angel went to leave his post when she shook her head their eyes meeting "No NO" she shouted.

Gaven grabbed the back of Buffy's head his mouth crashed down on her in a savage kiss. She fell to the floor once he released her gasping for breath. Suddenly the sword ripped free of Spikes holding case it hovered in the air. Angel watched as Willow eyes became black pools as she called on magic both good and bad to help her win this battle.

Giles felt fear grip him when he saw the thin blue veins criss cross on her face, Oz gasped as her beautiful red hair slowly turned black. "We are losing her," Giles said running for Willow.

Buffy saw this and new they were in trouble, she had to end this know. She called on what little strength her battered body had and attacked Gaven with a fury.

Spike struggled to handle the sword, Gaven was not prepared for this new attack he thought she was done, weak. He tried to fend her off, but she had gone wild, her fists bounced a beat off of him as she channeled all her fury at him, Gaven landed a blow to shoulder popping it out of place.

Buffy punched him in the throat he staggered back her arms wrapped around him "Spike" she cried holding Gaven to her body praying to the heavens to give her the strength she needed.

Giles finally reached the landing he ran at Willow knocking her to the ground, the sword dropped and Spike grabbed it and plunged it through the bubble shattering the protective shield into Buffy's back. "B u f f y" Angel cried seeing her jerk from the blow as blood spurted from her mouth.

Spike pushed until the blade came out on Gaven's side. Their screams co mingled, as hot searing pain washed over both Buffy and Gaven. Gaven howled once more as Spike stepped away, his eyes on his hands knowing it was his friend's blood that coated them.

Back on the ledge Willow began to convulse as her spirit fought off the magic trying not to loose herself. Angel jumped off the landing the other vamps were scattering knowing they had lost.

Gaven began to struggle trying to dislodge himself from the sword. Buffy was in great pain the more he moved the more pain rippled through her she could not contain the cries that came from her. She reached for her stake; she found it very hard to breath she felt her blood leaving her body but she forced herself to focus on her task at hand.

Gaven was too busy to notice she was ready to strike. The stake was on it's way down when he saw it, his hand shot out slicing at her face and throat, the stake plunged deep into his chest, he went stock still as his body began to burn. Gaven saw it in the waste band of her pants his hand moved slowly. Buffy fought off the darkness she heard Angel and Spike calling for her but she also hear her mother. Gently calling to her telling to close her eyes and finally rest.

Gaven pulled the gun free. She saw movement then felt the tip of the gun, his body began to turn gray, the gun pressed into her chest just below the collar bone, he fired the gun, Riley's bullet ripped through her flesh as her knees buckled she fell to the ground pooled in her own blood, Gaven's howl filled the air as his ashes washed over her fallen body.

Buffy fought off the calling darkness, her mother's lulling voice, telling her to come home. Her eyes tried to focus the sword felt hot within her, she looked at Angel who was ran to her, time slowed right down, the pounding of her own heart slowed in her ears.

Her eyes found Spike he stood stock still his face wore a shocked expression she forced her eyes to focus, she saw the hole in his shoulder, then it hit her "NO" she gasped trying to crawl to him but her body was useless, her very essence was spilling out on the floor.

The bullet passed through Buffy and lodging in Spike, he felt the burning and lifted his hand, which turned gray; as his body slowly turned to ash he looked at Buffy his eyes full of tears and smiled. Buffy screamed herself raw until everything went black she saw Spike's ashes sprinkle to the ground.

Buffy was bathed in light as her body sailed in the clouds, her mother guiding her spirit. Angel held her as her breath rattled out of her, "Giles" he screamed frantic, the watcher left Willow with Oz and ran to his slayer.

"Buffy we have to get her to a hospital." He reached for his cell phone calling his friend at the ER he told them they were going to bring Buffy in. Angel scoped her up mindful of the sword and ran. Oz followed with Willow who was trembling all over as withdrawal chills shot threw her.

Giles stopped looking at the ashes that use to be Spike; he scooped some up when out of the pile a hand shot out grabbing his arm.

Giles yelled as he tried to pull free. Then he saw a bleach blond head "Spike" Giles gasped, his hand closed around the arm and pulled.

Finally his face came into view he was bleeding "Pull Giles" he pleaded Giles was locked in a tug of war with some unseen force. Finally he managed to pull Spike free, he was bleeding from the chest.

"Giles I feel strange," he said before he collapsed into the watchers arms.

Giles was frozen, he felt Spike's breath on his neck, he all but dragged him to the car, Angel was breathing into Buffy's mouth he check her pulse and smiled. It was week but she had one.

"We have to go" he said stopping looking at Giles was dragging a nude Spike. "I will explain later" he said gently placed Spike in the back with Buffy.

Angel looked over seeing his friends chest rise and fall with each breath "Giles" Angel gasped feeling for a pulse and finding one.

"I know" was all Giles said he was driving like a mad man.

"Spike has a heart beat" Angel said in shock, Giles looked at the rearview mirror and repeated, "I know".

Just as they pulled up Buffy stopped breathing again. The last thing they saw was her being wheeled into surgery with Spike close behind. Giles spoke to his contact from the watcher counsel he would help with the paper work and keep it quiet.

"I'll go get Dawn" Angel said needing to feel useful. He pulled out of the parking lot and drove to Buffy's house once Dawn opened the door she took in his pale face. "Tell me what happened"

Angel began to shake his knees gave out "There was so much blood" he cried, letting his tears fall down his checks his eyes glowing as his emotion swept through him, Dawn did the only thing she could she sank to the floor with him wrapping her arms around him holding him to her, hoping to ease his burden.

Once the tears stopped he was able to tell her what happened, they stopped by Xander to pass on the message that all was well it was done he too followed with Anya to the hospital.

Angel looked at Dawn "There is something I did not tell you before" he said not sure how to put it into words. He told her what had happened, Dawn went completely pale. Tear streamed down her face "You said he was all right, you said he was at the hospital" she scream shaking.

Angel had to pull over and grab her; Dawn was completely lost in her grief. "Dawn" Angel said shaking her "Dawn he is" Angel told her.

She looked at him confused "You said he turned to ash, you saw him take Riley's bullet" she cried. Angel cupped her face "I left with Buffy and Giles came out with Spike I don't know what happened, all I know is Spike has a heart beat and pulse"

Dawn looked at him confusion shook her to the core; "How" she whispers once she was able to speak. Angel shook his head "I don't know but we will find out" he said pulling back on the road.

They arrived at the hospital Buffy was still in surgery. Spike was being wheeled to a room "My love" Dawn cried said touching his face she gasped when his flesh was hot. "Oh Spike" Dawn cried her heart surging, Spike was alive.

"Don't leave me," he said taking her hand before passing out once one. Dawn felt relief flood her when the nurse smiled showing it was all right.

Xander quietly listened as Giles filled him in on what had happened he closed his eyes trying to block out the pain he knew his best friend has suffered. Giles got to his feet when the doctor came in "Rupert wonderful to see you not under these conditions" Giles waved him off "How is she?" he asked.

"She seems to be holding her own right know. There is a lot of internal damage, we managed to stop the bleeding her shoulder is broken, as well as several of her ribs, if she makes it through the night it will be a good sign. Honestly I would not get my hopes up. Her body is in bad shape a lot of damage. More then one should ever have to bear."

The doctor stopping seeing all the scared looks from the slayers family "We have moved her into a private room do not be alarmed at the tubs and things we have attached to her, one of her lungs was punctured. I have also admitted her under a different name" He walked to Giles placing a hand on his shoulder "I have notified the counsel and passed on the details of her condition and that Gaven has been dealt with so you can go and be with her. The council has told me to pass on should she need anything to call" Giles smiles his thanks then followed him to Buffy's room.

Giles blinked back tears seeing her lying in the bed all black and blue she looked so small in the hospital bed they all filtered into the room to afraid to say anything.

Oz came in a time later "Willow is fine they said I could bring her home" Giles sent him off with a smile. Giles did not leave Buffy's side only to check on Spike who was still healing the gun shot wound had healed right over he had the watchers council looking into why Spike was alive and not a pile of ash.

Spike was human Dawn was thrilled excited about their future together. At the end of the first week Angel dropped the bomb.

"How can you leave?" Xander all but yelled. "I have to go, Buffy would want me to go" Angel said gently trying to make them understand. Giles did not argue he knew the former Vampire was right

"What do I tell her?" was all he asked.

Angel looked at the watcher "Tell her I love her and I will be back" he left with that stunning the others.

10 days later Buffy woke up "Am I dead?" she asked blinking her eyes "Not unless we are dead as well" Giles spoke to her smoothing her hair back from her face. "Spike" she gasped tears filling her eyes.

"Is fine recovering down the hall" Giles said with a smile Buffy looked confused and he quickly told her what happened. She watched him reached for letter "Angel wrote the powers saw it fit to spare his life as he has redeemed him self and has the true love of another's" Buffy cried openly at the joy for her friend "He is something like Angel graces with speed and strength of his former self"

What Giles said finally registered with Buffy "Letter from Angel?" she questioned looking at her watcher?

Giles smiled gently saying, "He has been gone almost two weeks you have been out for that time"

Buffy closed her eyes holding her pain silent. "I want to go home Giles" she said after a moment.

He smiled "Soon your body is recovering nicely lets not push it" Four days later Giles was laying her in her bed. She was given order to rest for least a few more days her shoulder had healed, but there was a ways to go yet. The wound from the sword had healed over leaving a thin scar on her back and belly.

Buffy starred out her window, her mind racing over the last month and a half all that had happened. There had been no word from Angel and her heart pained whenever she allowed her thought to go to him. He had done what she wanted the right thing to do, she did not expect it to hurt this much.

A knock at her door broke her from her deep thoughts "Buffy are you awake" Spike asked pooping his head in.

Buffy smiled and told him to come in, he walked in got on the bed with her, "So how are you feeling?" he asked.

Buffy rolled her eyes and groaned, "I want to get out of this bed, and move. Spike laughed and said, "Tomorrow you start you therapy tomorrow"

Buffy shook her head in agreement, her shoulder had healed but there was damage to the nerves and muscle.

"You got a letter," he said passing it to her. He saw the flash of hope in her eyes, which quickly disappeared once she saw the postage.

He watched Buffy's eyes scan the letter and frown, "Riley's mom wants me to come down for a memorial, I will call her," she said putting the letter down. She looked at Spike and said "So had the counsel delivered your papers yet?" she asked resting her head on his shoulder.

"No not yet they should be here by tomorrow," he said. Giles had called the counsel and requested they prepare valid documentation for Spike, they had agreed. "So does this mean your gonna get a job" Buffy laughed.

Spike softly laughed "I don't needed to, you learn to save money when you have been around for as long as I have" Buffy lifted her head laughter in her eyes.

"So how rich are you" she questioned, Spike shook his head "Let me put it this way Dawn, you and I will be very comfortable, no need to worry luv" he kissed her and got up.

"Get some rest or Giles will kill me," Spike said leaving her to her thoughts.

A/N Thank you to those of you that reviewed your words inspire me to stay up later then I should and finish what I started.


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Song by Inxs-afterglow

Chapter 17

Buffy picked up her jacket and reached for her bag, she walked out of her room and made her way downstairs to where Giles was waiting for her.

"You should not be carrying that, your shoulder is still on the mend" Giles frowned reaching to take the bag from her.

"I am fine Giles, please stop already" she sighed, since the battle with Gaven; Giles had gone into high-powered protective mode.

Giles scowled at her but still took the bag from her; Buffy turned to Dawn and said.

"Call me if you need anything, we should be back by Saturday" Buffy said her eyes finding Spike.

He smiled and came to stand behind Dawn "We will be fine call if you need anything" he said.

Buffy followed Giles out to the car, she had decided to go to Riley's memorial and Giles had volunteered to go with her. Buffy felt she owed it to Mrs. Finn.

Giles watched Buffy as she gazed out the window of the plane, he had sensed a change within her, yes she did all the things that was expected of her, she was a good sister and friend, and when duty called she answered. But deep in her heart she was longing for someone.

There had been no word from Angel, beside the letters regarding Spike. He was not sure if Buffy had tried to call him or not.

Buffy felt his stare and turned to smile, "Thanks for coming with me Giles" she said before turning back the window.

Giles wanted her to scream to yell out her disappointment but he knew she never would do that so he sighed and reached for a book and settled in to enjoy their flight.

Back in Sunnydale Dawn was getting dinner started Spike had gone over to get Xander and Anya they were going to have a BBQ.

The phone rang, Dawn reached for it thinking it was Willow to say she was on her way; she nearly dropped the phone when Angel's voice sounded in her ear.

"Dawn it's me is it safe to talk," he asked.

Dawn put down the chicken seasoning and walked over to the sink to wash her hands.

"Angel, Buffy is not here," she offered sitting down holding the phone with her shoulder as she dried her hands.

"Yeah I know that Cordy told me she went to the memorial" Angel responded, "I was calling for you," he said.

Dawn was puzzled and asked "Me why what do you need?" she asked. Dawn sat there in her kitchen and listened to what Angel had to say.

Spike walked in a few minutes later holding Naya, he did not miss the guilty expression that clouded her face before a smile replaced it,

Dawn quickly said her goodbyes and hung up the phone and turned to her family "Sorry old friend from school, I will get the food ready" she said placing a kiss on Naya's check before turning into a world wind.

Buffy was exhausted by the time she reached her room, they had decided to stay at the ranch, dinner was a quiet affair, Giles was a God send he seemed to keep the conversation flowing in a light and natural way.

"My dear you look tired why don't you go and lie down" Mrs. Finn said with a smile.

Buffy pasted on a smile and said, "I think you are right" once goodnights where passed around she excused herself and went upstairs.

She slipped into her pjs and fell into bed; she was asleep before her head hit the pillow.

Her dreams assaulted her, she saw Gaven's leering face, felt the searing pain of the sword her mother's smiling face which changed into a hideous glowing eyes and fangs. Riley swollen face smiling at her as Gaven's goons beat him, his face full of confusion as she staked him. Buffy bit back her scream as she sat up in her bed, drenched in sweat.

Swinging her legs off the bed she stood up trembling and looked at the clock, it was 5.00am she grabbed her clothes and went to the washroom that was attached to her room she quickly showered and dressed.

Buffy quietly made her way down the stairs to start the coffee, she was shocked to see Ms. Finn at the table sporting her own cup of coffee. "Buffy it is too early to be up" she said seeing her in the doorway.

Buffy smiled and made her self a mug of steaming coffee, "I could not sleep any more" she offered sitting down. The two women sat in silence, until Buffy said.

"Riley was a good man, I miss him" Ms. Finn reached over and took her hand, and said

"He loved you so much, I am glad you were with him at the end"

Buffy stiffened looking at the older woman, not saying a word, Ms. Finn continued.

"Riley told me what you do Buffy and when Forest came I demanded he tell me what happened"

Buffy was in shock, the older woman continued, "I accepted the dangers of my son's job, no mother wants to bury her son. But I understand what happened and I want to thank you for doing what you did. He would not have wanted to live that way"

Buffy's eyes filled with tears she could not hold, they streamed down her face.

Ms. Finn reached over and hugged Buffy close soon the two women stood in the empty kitchen hugging each other sharing a pain they two could only feel.

After a moment Ms. Finn pulled away and said "You are always welcome here my dear, your secret is safe with me" the older woman stepped away from Buffy and reached for her mug of coffee.

"Go and sit on the back porch and watch the sun rise it is truly beautiful, I have breakfast to prepare for everyone". She gently pushed Buffy towards the door.

Buffy did as she was told and went out side, the air was cold she smiled seeing the blanket on the cushioned seat. She wrapped herself in the blanket and sat down drinking her coffee and watched the sunrise, for the first time in weeks Buffy's heart felt at ease.

"What old friend?" Spike asked as they sat on the porch, the other had left half an hour ago. Dawn looked at him confusion clearly reflected on her face.

"Friend..Oh my old friend" she stammered turning her face from him, "Just wanted to let me know that she will miss me come the fall and wants me to keep in touch" Dawn said hoping he would not push.

Spike knew she was lying and decided not to push. He knew it must be for a good reason and she would tell him when she was ready.

Half an hour later Dawn was pulling him to his feet "Come with me Mr. McGill" she laughed.

Spike laughed "Can you believe the name they gave me, I don't look like a McGill" he complained.

"Well you better get use to it" Dawn laughed and she locked the doors. They went up to bed.

All was quiet within Sunnydale; since Gaven's passing there had been a hush over the hell mouth. And everyone enjoyed the reprieve knowing that sooner or later things would get back to normal.

The memorial for Riley was beautiful full of family and friends, Buffy stood with Giles and each of them said their own silent good bye to their friend. Buffy had told Giles about the conversation she had had with Riley's mother and the watcher was a bit shocked but offered his comfort to his slayer.

Buffy was more then ready to head home, this trip had tapped her dry, and she longed for the normalcy of her life work and family.

She was happy to leave Iowa far behind her, the flight was quiet and Buffy found some sleep with Giles watching as always. He knew she was having trouble sleeping but to what extent he did not know.

Xander picked them up at the airport and drove them home, Buffy sat listening to Giles fill in Xander about the memorial. He tried to draw her into the conversation with no luck, so he let it go.

Buffy was happy to see Naya was at her place she dropped her bags and walked over to her namesake her eye meeting Anya's seeking her permission, which the X-demon gave.

They watched her scoop the baby up and walk to the back porch; she sat down on the swing pushing off with her feet sending them into a gently swaying motion.

Spike shook his head not saying anything it hurt him to see her this way, he knew Angel was only a part of what was wrong everything that had happened had finally settled on his slayer.

Willow got to her feet and went to her friend, she sat next to her and wrapped her arms around Buffy who held Naya, no words where spoken, Willow simple offered her friend comfort.

Buffy after a moment rested her weary head on Willow's shoulder. And there they sat swaying to and fro as the day slowly passed.

A week after Buffy had returned she announced at dinner "I am going back to work, I need to get on with my life" she said pouring her self another glass of wine

"Do you think that is wise, you body is still mending your shoulder is still giving you trouble, and your sword wound just lost its bruising" Giles asked worried.

Buffy who was more then tipsy smiled brightly, Spike sat back in his chair chuckling, he reached for the full bottle of wine on the counter, he pulled the cork and passed it to her.

Buffy turned bright eyes on him and gently slurred "That is why I love you, my heart stopped when I saw you turning to ash" she giggles not realizing what she had just said.

Everyone at the table froze, while Buffy re filled her glass once more. "I wanted to die too, all I could think of was my Dawnie, and how I failed her too" Buffy leaned back into her chair, her hand rubbing her face.

"First mom then Riley, then you turned to ash right before my eyes. I don't think I will ever forget that feeling, how can I? when it is all I see when I close my eyes at night. And Angel let not even mention Angel" she said sighing loudly getting to her feet.

Spike and Dawn looked at Giles when she reached for the half full bottle of wine and walked out of the room. They heard her go up the stairs and close the door to her bedroom.

Dawn went to follow but Spike's fingers closed over her arm "No love leave her, let her have her escape she will be fine tomorrow" he softly said.

Dawn sat back down and thought for a moment, then began to clear away the dinner dishes.

Giles said his goodnights and left, he needed some time to reflect as well, and thought the distance would give him a better perspective.

Buffy drank herself into sleep and was rewarded with no dreams.

The loud buzzing stirred Buffy from her slumber, her hand slammed down on the clock silence filled the room once more. She gently rolled out of bed and grabbed her clothes and went to shower, she thought of nothing while she went threw her morning routine, she came down stairs all was silent and grabbed her bag and left.

Her eyes found the rearview mirror and her voice filled the car "You lived without Angel before you can do it again"

Spike was not alarmed when he saw Buffy was gone he had a few things to do around town and left, leaving Dawn to sort through her response letters.

Buffy was greeted with warm smiles, she went to her office and brought her self up to speed on what was happening, reviewed the schedules and what was in the mill.

By the time she was done it was already going on 6pm, she cleaned off her desk and left letting everyone know she would be back on Monday. Buffy got home and changes still managing to avoid everyone.

She stood on her front porch and stretched. Xander was looking out his window just catching a glimpse of her as she jogged by. Buffy did not have a destination she went were her legs and feet moved her.

Suddenly she stopped when she realized she was running up the driveway that leads to the mansion. Taking a deep breath she continued forward, needing to lay her demons to rest. She searched around for the spare key and opened the door.

Buffy stood there in the darkness, allowing the familiar smells to assault her senses. She walked through the first floor, stopping to touch a picture or a pillow. Up the stairs she went down the hall to his room, Buffy gently pushed the door open, her eyes scanned the room she walked into the dark room and pulled open a drawer.

Hands trembling she pulled out a black t-shirt and slowing brought it up to caress her face. Buffy inhaled Angel's distinctive smell, after a moment she slowly folded his shirt and held it to her chest.

Buffy walked out of the mansion locking the door and returning the key to it's proper place and walked back to her life. With each step she took towards her home, her life and duty she locked away a memory of Angel her arms holding his shirt to her chest.

Buffy decided to do a sweep before going home the sun having set hours ago. She tied the shirt around her waist and entered the cemetery.

Spike sat on the sofa waiting for his slayer; Dawn had gone a campus view meeting. With everything settling down he realized he has not had a heart to heart with Buffy in a while. Spike felt a little ashamed he had been so caught up in his "New" life that he lost sight of his role in Buffy's life.

He knew Buffy was holding a lot in not wanting to burden anyone. Her words kept echoing in his mind.

"_First mom then Riley, then you turned to ash right before my eyes. I don't think I will ever forget that feeling, how can I? When it is all I see when I close my eyes at night"_

Spike was lost in his memories he did not hear her come in, the sound of the door closing jarred him from his thoughts.

"Slayer" he called out softly, his eyes fixing on her. Buffy turned to him and forced a smile.

"Where is everyone?" she asked standing in the doorway. Spike patted the spot next to him wanting her to sit.

"I want to take a shower Spike," she said not wanting to get close to him, she was ok if she kept them all at arms length.

"Ok" he said standing up "Go shower and I will get dinner on the table" he walked by her and down the hall.

"Giles Thanks for coming with me" Dawn said looking at the watcher who offered a smile.

"I am happy to help," he said holding the door open for her to enter the Sunnydale campus.

"Spike is going to talk to Buffy" Dawn offered once they were walking again. Giles gave a nod and responded.

"Good, maybe he can reach her" Giles wrapped his arm around Dawn as they found the main hall.

Buffy turned on the radio as she pulled her clothes from her body and walked naked to her bathroom. She turned on the shower and faced the mirror her shoulder had healed over nicely, she still had pain when she over did it, but that would go in time.

Her fingers traced the scar on her navel, flashed of sword slamming through her danced in her mind. It was still a deep red color but that too in time would fade.

Buffy stepped into the shower and smiled hearing "The Killers" on the radio Buffy allowed herself the pleasure of singing along. Soon she was wrapping herself in a robe towel drying her hair when she heard the haunting melody

_Here I am  
Lost in the light of the moon  
That comes through my window  
Bathed in blue  
The walls of my memory  
Divides the thorns from the roses  
It's you and the roses  
_

Buffy stopped listening to the song, her heart lurching in her chest. Buffy sat down heavily on her bed as the song softly played filling her room.

I will find my way  
When I see your eyes  
Now I'm living  
In your afterglow

Buffy found herself transfixed with the song, images of Angel clouded her mind, and she reached for his shirt.

I will find my way  
I will sacrifice  
Till that blinding day  
When I see your eyes  
Now I'm living  
In your afterglow

When the veils are gone  
As I let you go  
As I let you go

Touch me and I will follow  
In your afterglow  
Heal me from all this sorrow  
As I let you go

The song ended and Buffy shut the radio off, her body trembling her soul calling out for the Vampire now man who held her heart.

Spike heard Buffy slowly walking down the stairs, he sat at the table waiting for her, she smiled seeing him and sat down. They ate in silence, Buffy played with her food she was not that hungry. She had managed to get half of it down but knew if she put one more bite in her mouth it would come back up.

"So talk to me," Spike said after a bit, tired of the silent treatment, he was prepared for her puzzled gaze.

"About what Spike?" she questioned getting up from the table taking her plate to the sink.

Spike was all over her, he took her arm turning her around to face him, "It's me Buffy you don't hide from me, you can't" he all but yelled frustrated at himself, at her for letting things get this far.

Buffy glared at him and opened her mouth to speak but he cut her off he took hold of her shoulders and said.

"You where nearly killed, a man you cared about was killed, Angel left and part of me died. Talk to me Buffy" he gave her a gently shake mindful of her shoulder.

"We have come to far, we are more than family Buffy. Don't do this," he pleaded tears in his eyes.

Buffy stepped out of his hold and walked out the back door, Spike watched her go to the lawn chair and sit down. He switched on the coffee machine and cleaned up while it perked.

Buffy heard him approach and spoke, "I don't know how I feel Spike, lost afraid, disappointed all wrapped into one" she accepted the steaming mug and waited until her friend sat down facing her.

"What happened these past few weeks months have been such a roller coaster, mom looked like a vamp, I know it was not here but" her voice cracked and she stopped looking at her hands holding the mug and continued. "Angel, Darla, Riley, you," Spike did not move he allowed her to work through it.

"Why is it never enough, why am I always pulled in every direction, Riley was a good man, his only fault was loving me. I killed a good man Spike, he was here because of me" her voice cold as guilt ate away at her. "Spike how do I let this go, why is this time soo different from all the other times?"

Spike spoke softly for the first time "He did what you asked" Buffy met and held his gaze.

"Yes he did, I asked him to leave he needs to make sure this is what he wants, I love him Spike, I know what I want from Angel, he needs to figure out if he can give it or not." Buffy tucked her knees up and rested her chin on them.

"I am willing to meet him half way on anything, but he left he hasn't called or written, what does that mean. Does he expect me to wait on him?" she asked her confusion on her face.

"I failed in so many ways Spike, I don't know what to do, how to put it all way and move on how do I fit the pieced of my life back together when I don't know how they all fit. All I know is that at the end of the day Spike I am always lone if I want to be or not" she whispered getting to the heart of the matter.

"It is not your fault, you did the best that you could do, you killed Gaven put your own life on the line, Riley made his choice, we all did. Buffy I am here, I have a new lease on life because of what happened" Spike came to kneel in front of her.

"Buffy you are one of the strongest people I know, grieve for Riley, and your mother you are allowed to feel those thing. As for Angel if you want him you have to go and get him." He stood up and smiled "We both know that some time peaches is not known for his social skills"

Buffy smiled, but offered nothing finally she said. "I don't know if I am strong enough to do this job anymore Spike. The price is too high, the more I do the more I lose. A little piece of me each time, I am afraid soon there will be nothing left. Your human now, your place is with Dawn not by my side. Everything has changed Spike. I feel like I am slowly going crazy" Buffy sighed looking up at the stars resting her head on the back of her chair.

"Do you remember what you told me when we were not so friendly, that I have lasted so long because of my ties to the real world? That my mother and friends are what tied me to this place". Her voice was soft almost a whisper.

"Mom is gone, Dawn is a woman, Willow and Xander have their lives and you have a new lease on life" Buffy grew quiet lost in her thoughts.

"Gaven is gone Spike but I still see him and hear him when I close my eyes. I still feel that sword burning inside of me. Spike you are my best friend I do not know what I would do without you" She whispered.

It took Spike a moment to realize silent tears where sliding down her checks, she had not moved from her position. No deep sobs or intakes of breath just tears making tracks down the sides of her face.

Spike swallowed the lump in his throat she was in so much pain and he could do nothing to help her. He stood up and bent down and kissed her on the forehead.

"You are the heart and soul of this family, I would not be here if it where not for you. Make peace with this Buffy let it all go because at the end of each day it will only be you and you have to look at yourself in the mirror and be ok with what you see."

Spike stood up and walked into the house allowing her time. Just before he opened the door he softly said knowing she would hear him. "Dawn is my life, partner I would have no one before her. But my place will always be at your side, no matter the outcome or price"

Buffy sat there starring at the sky, she let the tears fall quietly, finally laying Riley to rest. She accepted the fact that she could only do so much and the cards where to fall where they were meant to.

Buffy also knew she could not go to Angel not this time; this was his decision to make. Buffy knew what she wanted from him, a life, love, the whole ten yards. "I can't go to him this time," she softly said to the sky.

Spike sat in the kitchen with the lights off watching his friend, he wanted to get in his car and drive to LA and beat Angel within an inch of his life, but he new deep down that would not solve anything.

Dawn walked into the kitchen flanked by Giles "Why are you sitting in the dark?" she asked switching on the lights.

"Just enjoying a quiet moment" was all Spike cared to offer. Giles walked to the window and looked out.

Spike stood up and said, "Let's go talk in the other room" he wrapped his arm around Dawn and left the Watcher alone.

Giles opened the back door and went to his slayer "How was it?" she asked when he sat down beside her.

Giles told her all the details; once he was done he fell into silence. Finally he said as he starred up at the night sky.

"What can I do to help you Buffy, I am at a loss here" his voice was soft but laced with emotion.

"You are more to me then slayer, you and Dawn, willow and Xander are like my children, I have watched you grow. It pains me that you are hurting and I can do nothing to help".

Buffy stood up and went to him, she sat on the grass and placed her head on his knee and responded.

"Giles I remember the first day I met you, I was so unsure of you and hardly understood a word that came out of your mouth. You have been the one constant thing in my crazy life. You have always been true to me even when I was not true to myself. I would not be the woman I am today if it where not for you." Buffy lifted her head to look at him.

"You have been my watcher and friend from the very beginning but what you don't know maybe it's because I don't tell you enough when I should. Giles you have been a father to me for a very long time, and I love you and need you so very much in my life to guide me and keep me strong. Please don't ever feel like you are un wanted or not needed"

Buffy stood up slowly and reached out her hand, "I will figure it out Giles just knowing you are there when I need you is a great comfort"

Giles stood up and pulled her close "I love you too" he said as he fought back the tears.

"I wish I could take this burden you carry but I can't Buffy, you need to deal with this," he said kissing her forehead.

Buffy rested her head on his shoulder, "I know Giles I just get soo very tired every once and while." Pulling her head back Buffy stepped away from Giles and looked once more at the dark sky.

"Is this all there is to my life Giles, should I settle for my happiness with my family. I know I should be grateful that I am alive and here. I know how lucky I am." Buffy turned to face him her eyes pleading.

"Is it so wrong to want someone to love me and hold me to make me feel like a woman?" before Giles could say a word. They were interrupted.

"Slayer" Spike called out "Bill is on the line" Spike found it hard to hold her gaze so he went back inside.

"Duty calls" Buffy sighed squaring her shoulders leaving Giles standing where he was.

Buffy walked into the house and picked up the phone "Hey Bill" she listened to him explain that there were two government agents they're wanting to talk to her about Agent Fin.

"I'm on my way," she muttered hanging up. Buffy moved towards the stairs she needed to change.

Thanks to all of you that reviewed, this story is almost done a few more chapters and that is it.


	18. Chapter 18

I am soo sorry for the long delay ... My only excuse is my dad has been very ill and time has been an issue. I need to apologize now, I am flying without a beta reader so for any grammatical errors i am truly sorry.

Disclaimer : I own nothing!!

Chapter 18

Giles tried to control his anger as he drove towards LA. He knew he should not be interfering but he could not allow this to go on any longer. If Angel did not want to be with Buffy he would make the man call her and tell her. He reached for his cell and called to make reservation for a hotel once he reached his destination.

Spike sat quietly in the living room trying to listen to what Dawn was saying. He was worried he has seen it before in his many years of dealing with Slayers. Buffy's spirit was tired she was slowly letting go of her inner center.

Once that happens it would be a matter of time before she fought her last battle.

"And then I ripped all of Giles clothes off and we had hot dirty sex right their in the middle of the lecture" Dawn said calmly gazing at Spike.

"MMM that sounds like fun," Spike murmured offering her a smile. Dawn sighed and stood up.

"I will leave you to your thoughts" she kissed him and grabbed her bag to go visit Naya.

Buffy signed her name and stood up hugging Forest, he had come for her official statement.

"You take care of yourself Slayer" he said into her ear his arms tightening for a moment.

"Don't be a stranger, if you ever get tired of working for the man you have got a place here" Buffy smiled.

Buffy watched them go and sat back down, it was really over. She cleaned her desk; she was not in tomorrow as she had two doctors appointment for her shoulder.

The drive home was quick; she parked her car and decided on a quick sweep, Spike still sat in his chair.

"I am going out Spike after I change" she called out going up the stairs. This seemed to spark him into action.

He picked up the phone, after making his call he ran to the kitchen and made quick fruit bowl, he heard her come down and called out to her.

"Eat this before you go," he said sliding the bowl towards her. Buffy groaned seeing the fruit topped with whip cream.

"You know just how to tempt me," she said picking up her fork. Twenty minutes later she walked to the front door and was greeted by her family.

"What is going on?" she asked surprise clearly written on her face.

"We are patrolling right" Willow smiled. Xander stood straight

"Night Hawk reporting for duty" he saluted causing everyone to laugh.

"I am ground control in Giles departure" Dawn offered.

Dawn handed out the ear pieced and they where off. Buffy could not stop the flood of tears.

Soon Buffy was held within a circle of arms, and she knew no matter what this life toss at her she would make it through it with these arms wrapped around her.

Giles walked up the street; he had arrived late last night and decided to wait until morning to see Angel.

He pushed open the door and was greeted by Cordy; she all but flew from her desk into his arms.

Giles returned her affection once he was released he shook hands with Doyle who held a very curious Piper in his arms. She offered a shy smile and a quick wave.

"Angel is not here he will be right back, both he and the lawyer are expected any minute" Cordy offered walking over to make him a cup of tea.

"Lawyers?" Giles asked as he sat down accepting what she gave him.

"Yes Angel has signed over the agency to both Doyle and myself, he is still a partner but with limited involvement. It took longer then we thought it would but... after this meeting and once all the paper work is signed this baby will be ours" Cordy beamed.

Giles was beginning to feel very uncomfortable "So why did you come out?" Cory asked sitting behind her desk.

"He has come to check up on me," Angel said from the door, having heard the last bit of the conversation.

Giles decided to bit the bullet "Yes I did, I have a deeply wounded slayer back home suffering for the man she loves. If she knew I was here she would kill me" Giles stopped talked when Angel smiled.

"Did I say something funny?" he asked getting to his feet and removing his glasses.

"Giles I said I would be back" Angel offered stopping at Cordy's desk to pick up the mail. Before he could say any more, Darla breezed into the office.

"Angel I have been waiting all day for you" she stopped talking once she saw Giles.

Giles signed placing his glasses on his face and stuffed his hands in his pockets as anger slowly seeped into his system.

"Darla where is Lindsey?" Angel asked holding the older mans gaze. Darla remained where she was and said.

"He left for Sunnydale half an hour ago" she said causing both men to look at her.

"I tried to talk him out of going, I tried to explain that he would only upset Buffy further. But he would have none of it" The ex vamp shrugged her shoulders and said.

"He feels he owes her something for what she did" Darla sighed rolling her eyes dramatically.

Giles moved towards the door muttering "I have to go, she is going through enough I will not have her upset any further"

Angel blocked his way, "What is going on?" he asked clearly worried.

Giles stopped and said "Buffy is in a very bad place right know, she is questioning her calling, her whole belief system, she has been to hell and back and she is dealing with this all alone"

Angel frowned "Dawn told me none of this" he said reaching for the phone.

Giles shook his head "Buffy keep her emotions very close, I am worried for her on so many levels"

Angel dialed Dawns cell, by the time he turned around Giles was gone.

"I gave Dawn the heads up…" his voice trailed off seeing the watcher was gone.

Buffy scaled the wall with ease moving with speed certain of her ability. The trip through the tunnel was made quickly, the heaviness of battle know gone. She was not sure as to why she was returning to the spot her life had changed so much.

She pushed open the door and stood in the main hall her mind replaying the battle over. Gaven waiting for her, Buffy slowly walked towards the alter and placed her hand on the cold stone.

"Why can't I let you go" she said to the empty room. She saw her dried blood on the ground felt her body grow cold.

"I won so why do I feel like I have lost soo much more" She said as she scanned the room.

"Don't do it slayer," Spike said stepping out of the shadows, Buffy jumped he startled her.

"Why did I not hear you?" she asked shocked. If he had been the enemy she would have been at a disadvantage.

"Because you where not listening the right way" he said walking towards her this might be worse than he thought.

"Don't do this Buffy not know" he said stopping before her.

"What don't you want me to do Spike?" she asked annoyed. He reached and cupped her face.

"Don't you understand slayer once you get lost in here" he said placing his hand over her heart.

"You lose your edge, you lose who and what you are" he said his eyes sad. Buffy just looked at him.

"I am tired Spike, I am trying" she started but he placed a finger over her lips.

"You can't hide from me Buffy, I see through the armor, I see through the fake smiles and happy face's. As much as you want to live there is a part of you that wants to lie down and rest. That is the part that scares me," he said softly. "I just found my life and I do not want to face it without you."

Buffy closed her eyes and leaned into him trying to absorb his strength into her tired spirit.

"I am trying Spike I really am," she said as his arms tightened around her holding her close.

"Your spirit is dying Slayer and I will have none of it do you understand me, you need to find that grit that spark that was all your own and reclaim it. I buried you once. I will not do it again," he said tightening his hold on her.

Buffy and Spike made there way out into light, no words where spoken Buffy was confused and not sure of what to do and longed to speak to Giles.

"Lets go home" was all she said once they got to her car. Spike took her keys and slid into the driver side.

The ride home was a quiet one. Once inside she said she was going to lie down before patrol.

Buffy walked into her room and stopped, Dawn must have picked up her gown because there it hung on the close door. Buffy smiled it was a beautiful dress. She climbed into bed and her mind drifted over all the other dances and balls in her past, "Maybe this one will be different" she murmured before she fell into sleep.

Lindsey pulled into Buffy's driveway and got out of the car, he walked up to the door but it opened before he could knock.

"Are you here to upset my sister" Dawn demanded. Lindsey was a little taken back.

"NO I came to Thank her" he said a little bewildered. Dawn thought about this for a moment and allowed him entrance to the house.

"She is sleeping but will be up in an bit, would you like a coffee?" she asked gesturing for him to follow her.

Spike sat at Giles 's desk unsure of where to begin, his need to help his slayer was great. But he knew deep down there was nothing he could really do. He would just have to keep his eyes open and his guard up he would not leave her side on patrol.

Spike picked up the phone and dialed a number he thought he would never dial. He listen to it ring and a happy voice say "Angel Investigations"

"Cordy let me talk to the spoof" was all he said.

Buffy woke up her shoulder was aching as well as her stomach; the test she had done today had set her back a bit.

She quickly changed and reached for her binding tape, her mind was blank while she taped her shoulder up and covered it with a sweater.

Moments later she walked down the stairs and was shocked to see Lindsey chatting up a storm with Dawn.

"Buffy" he said getting to his feet; before Buffy could react she was pulled into a hug.

"Sorry for the interruption but I had to come and Thank you personally for what you did, but I have been busy planning the wedding"

Buffy was happy to hear that everything had worked out for both he and Darla and they were set to tie the knot in a few weeks.

After a half and hour of chatting he made his departure. Buffy turned to Dawn and smiled.

"I am happy for him, I hope Darla is all he thinks she is" Buffy turned on her heel and walked to the front room.

"Dawn I am going out for patrol be back in a bit" Dawn called out her good bye all was quiet.

Half an hour later Spike walked in "Dawn, Buffy" he called out. Time has slipped away from him.

Dawn called out from the dinning room she was going over her reading material for her new classes and working out just how much this was going to cost her and Buffy.

"Where is Buffy?" he asked as he leaned down to kiss her. He frowned see the calculator and price list on the table.

"She has gone out on patrol" Dawn said as she went back to work.

"When" Spike asked panic filling his voice "Where did she go why are you not listen to her" he asked.

Dawn was taken back by his tone and looked at him "She has been gone for about half and hour or so, and she left so quickly I did not think to ask about the ear piece" she said getting to her feet.

"Shit" he said reaching for his cell phone.

"Xander I need you," he said into the phone. Ten minutes later Xander was at the door.

"Dawn if she shows up once we leave let us know we will have our ear mics on" he said leaving a very confused Dawn standing in the living room.

Buffy moved through the cemetery slowly, she has done a sweep and this was the last place before heading home.

She was about to call it quits when she heard voices inside one of the mausoleums.

"Just do it already" she heard someone say. She peered in the door and saw four vamps robbing a grave.

"You really should not take what is not yours," she said stepping into the dark cell.

"Slayer" the tall vampire hissed as his eyes locked in on her.

Buffy held her ground as they surrounded her, she forced her body to relax.

Spike and Xander slit up and did a quick search of the ground of each of the three cemeteries in Sunnydale. Spike was the first to arrive at the last, "Please let her be here," he prayed.

Xander met up with him and together they moved through the dark death lot.

Buffy was in the heat of battle, this is taking too long she thought but she could not for some reason end it, the odds were still not in her favor as she had only dusted two of the four.

Lost in thought she was not prepared for the boot that collided with her face, she was sent crashing to the floor.

The vamps sensing the Slayer was off her game attacked with a fury. The battle was one, Buffy moved but was knocked off her feet once more, and she felt her self being mauled as they pounced on her.

She was not sure how but her stake found it's mark sending once Vamp to ash Ville, leaving the ring leader.

"Your mine bitch" he hissed as he tackled her. Buffy rolled with the larger vamp, her shoulder pained her greatly. The Vampire won coming out on top, he had her pinned to the ground in the blink of an eye.

His yellow eyes gleaming with victory, "I hope your as sweet as you look," he whispered as his went in for the kill.

A deep calm overtook Buffy, all the fight went out of her, and she felt her head being pushed to the side. She closed her eyes and waited for the sweet pain that was to come, but all she felt was ash settle on her face and body.

Buffy opened her eyes and saw Spike and Xander standing there, Xander's face was pale his eyes full of fear. Spike was trembling as he fought the rising fear that threatened to consume him.

Buffy could not move, she was not sure who picked her up she remained impassive all the way home.

Not a word was spoke Xander followed Spike and Buffy into the house, once on her feet, Buffy walked upstairs and into her bathroom.

"If we had been a minute later she would be dead" Xander said sitting down, in shock.

"She did not even try to stop him," he said more to himself then to Spike and Dawn who came into the room.

Just then Giles walked into the house, stopping seeing the dazed expression of those in the room.

"What is going on?" he asked walking into the room. Spike was suddenly consumed with anger, he moved with lighting speed up the stairs.

"BUFFY" he yelled wanting to shake her. He banged on the door when she did not answer he kicked the door so hard it came off its hinges. His eyes a blaze, Buffy got to her feet gazing at him.

"Spike I don't" she started; her mind was still reeling from what had happened.

"No you will shut up and listen, what the hell is wrong with you, you just laid there, if you want to go Buffy just do it, tell me know now and I won't chase after you"

"Get out Spike" Buffy yelled getting angry, the emotion of the night gave her the strength to get angry.

"How can you be so bloody selfish, I am tired of all this shit, do you even think of us. When you gave up did we even think of us" Spike was on a rampage.

The others stood in the hallway shocked at what was playing out before them.

"Spike I am warning you get out" Buffy yelled stepping in close to him. Spike would have none of it he was too far-gone to see reason. The thought of loosing her had pushed him over the edge.

"He is dead Buffy you killed the bad guy let it go, Riley was a grown man he made his choice," he ranted getting in her face.'

"Or does this have to do with the poof, you can't make him want you," the rest was cut off as Buffy's knuckles smashed into his mouth sending him stumbling back.

"How dare you, you have no idea what it has been like for me, I can't lose any more Spike, did I think of you " Buffy screamed coming a bit undone. "What do you all want from me, have I not given enough, have I not done enough. I am so bloody tired here Spike. What part of myself do I keep just for me"? Buffy yelled rage rushing through her.

Spike advanced on her his eyes glowing, Buffy was not prepared for the attack, and they both tumbled to the floor.

Dawn screamed running in between them trying to pull them apart. Never before had these two come to blow out of anger.

Buffy met Spike blow for blow, as they rolled around the room knocking over furniture. Giles grabbed Buffy around waist, shouting.

"That is enough both of you" he struggled to hold Buffy back. Spike took this time to backhand her across the face before Xander grabbed him. Blood spurted from Buff's mouth.

"Oh my God" Dawn cried. Buffy shoved Giles out of the way and tackled Spike both of them fell into the hallway, it was an all out brawl. Fist where flying and knuckles split. Buffy grabbed Spikes head forcing it down to meet her rising knee. Spike was through off balance and grabbed on to Buffy as he tumbled down the stairs.

Buffy could not stop the cry of pain as her shoulder slammed into the stairs with Spikes added weight. She was the first to recover and get to her feet once they hit the floor. Her foot pinned him to the floor, "Stay down Spike I swear by all that is holy I will put you in the hospital" she said her voice was dead calm.

He met and held her gaze he knew she meant it.

"Have you both gone mad?" Giles screamed as he ran down the steps.

Buffy turned and grabbed her bag and walked out the front door, once in the car did she allow the tears to fall, pain ran through her hot slicing her to the bone.

She backed out of the drive way and drove to the only safe place she knew. Willow gasped opening the door having just gotten off the phone with Xander.

Dawn pass Spike the ice pack for his face, he took the pack mumbling a thanks unable to meet her gaze.

Dawn turned on her heel and left him with Giles and Xander. Xander was giving Giles the low down on what had happened.

Giles was could not believe what he had heard. He finally found his voice "There is nothing we can do if this is the course she has chosen. There is a reason most slayers die young, the burden becomes too hard" he said sitting down.

"The drive is still there," Spike said getting to his feet and dropping the pack in the blow on the table. "Buffy just can't see it because of all the layers of shit on top" Spike walked to the closet and pulled his jacket out.

"You saw the old slayer once she got angry. Nothing else matters right know, all I know is I will not bury her again." His voice shook as he tried to control his emotions.

"The bottom line is she has to want to fight, I think we have taken took much when it comes to Buffy, we have always expected her to hold us together, and somewhere we all we forgot to put back what we have taken. And know I am so afraid it is too late" and with those words he walked out the front door leaving both Giles and Xander lost in their own thoughts.

"Willow I don't want to talk about it, I am sure Xander already called and filled you in on what happened" Buffy said as Willow wrapped her shoulder.

Before anything else could be said Buffy's cell phone went off. "Summers" she said into the mouthpiece. Willow watched her face change and she said "Ok I am on my way" getting to her feet.

"I have to go we have a situation at the high school" was all she offered and walked out the door.


	19. Chapter 19

Sorry for the delay… My dad is real sick I have been writing with no time to post. So the next few chapters will be posted shortly. Sorry for the spelling errors, my beta reader is swamped with work and I am flying so low. I am soo very sorry about this.

Chpt 19

Buffy pulled up in front of the high school they had blocked off the whole street. Buffy frowned seeing the reporters behind the yellow tape.

"All we know is there are about eight students inside, they were here working on the upcoming school play props," Bill said standing in front of Buffy.

"Ok get them on the line" she said slapping him on the shoulder. Bill moved with a purpose.

Dawn switched on the T.V trying to distract herself on what had happened. "Giles" she began to yell seeing Buffy on the T.V and listening to what the report said.

Bill passed the phone to Buffy "He wants to talk to you" he said as she took the phone.

"Summers" Buffy said looked at the school.

"Slayer it is so good to hear your voice" Buffy's blood ran cold. "You have aged well Slayer. I heard of your trouble with Gaven and came to offer my services but it seems I arrived too late"

"Let them go Ethan" Buffy hissed moving away from Bill pointing to the reporters trying to work there way under the caution tape.

"I should have killed you when I had the chance" she finished once she was sure Bill was out of earshot.

Ethan laughed into the phone "Come and join us Slayer the party has already begun our guest of honor is awaiting your arrival he has lost to talk about" before Buffy could say anything he hung up.

Buffy turned back to Bill "I am going in," she said reaching for her cell. Buffy took a deep breath trying to calm the tremor that ran through her body.

"Giles, turn on the T.V" she said once he picked up. Buffy walked calmly to one of the reports lifted the caution tape and motioned for him to follow her. Bill followed not sure what was going on.

"It's Ethan and I think he has brought Gaven back" Buffy breathed fear making her cold.

"Wait until I get there" Giles said moving towards the door "Xander find Spike" he said.

"NO leave Spike out of it, hold on" Buffy looked at the reporter.

"Give me a your wireless ear mic" the reporter went to argue but Buffy shook her head.

"I will make it worth your while, there are eight kids in there with a mad man this is a story you will want the inside scoop on" the reporter did not hesitate.

"Bill give me some cover" Buffy said, " He is watching our every move on T.V" Buffy turned to the reporter.

"Cup it under your camera and pass it to me slowly, Bill will escort you back behind the tape, please look like you are upset that we took your camera. I will see to it you get copies of all our tapes" the reporter did as he was told passed over the camera with the hidden earpiece.

"Channel 3" he said as Bill shoved him behind the tape. Buffy bent down to tie her shoe and popped the mic in.

"Giles channel 3 on the ear piece, listen and learn what you can," she said before hanging up.

Giles stood there glued to the T.V as he watched her hand over her gun and approach the school arms raised.

"Xander Channel 3 on the mics" he yelled running into the other room switching the T.V on.

"Buffy can you hear me" Giles said into the mouthpiece. All he heard was dead silence.

Xander swore when Spike's voice mail picked up for the 8th time he turned back to the T.V set and watched Buffy disappear into the dark school.

Buffy moved down the hall, she heard Giles calling to her but did not want to give her self away.

She sensed movement to her left and prepared herself, she moved with speed and took out her opponent.

Just then Ethan's voice rang out over the speaker system "Keep walking Slayer down the stairs that's my girl" he taunted.

Buffy moved slowly, she did not trust her senses, flashes of what happened earlier danced in her head.

Buffy saw flickering lights and moved towards them, she entered the lower level gym and gasped seeing the five of the students suspended from the rafters terror masked their faces.

"So good of you to join us" Ethan laughed he stood in the middle of a drawing the sword that they has used to kill Gaven was held in an offering above his head.

"Let these kids go Ethan" Buffy said as she gazed around the room, they where held with rope their hands bound. The others where huddled in a corner guarded by five vamps.

"What fun is there in that?" Ethan laughed. Suddenly he began to chat, and the candles flame flared up. Buffy moved with speed as she attached the closest Vampire once it ash Buffy ran at the handing rope and quickly scale it.

She moved her body causing it to swing, her feet hit the wall which she use it to propel her self-forward.

"Giles he is standing in the middle of drawing it looks like a bird of some kind" she said as she swung back and forth, Ethan lost in his summoning spell was not prepared for her to swoop down upon him.

Buffy sung her feet out then up above her head twisting her ankle in the rope to hold her weight. She moved quickly as she swung snagging the sword from his hands.

Just then the floor began to vibrate the kids began to scream. "Kill them" Ethan yelled. Buffy grabbed the rope with one hand unhooking her ankle and sailing through the air.

She swung the blade cutting the suspending children down. Buffy released the rope and dropped to the ground. .

She used the sword to cut down the vamps that held the other children. "Move get out," she yelled shoving them towards the door. The children ran, Buffy held her ground putting herself between the children and the quickly approaching vampires.

"Giles" Buffy said not hearing the watcher, her hand went to the earpiece and static filled her hear.

"Shit" she muttered as she fought.

"Buffy" Giles cried hearing the fighting. "She can't hear us," he yelled as Willow walked in.

"Take over I am going to the school," he said running out the door.

Angel was walking out of the shower; he had just arrived in Sunnydale having settled his affairs when he felt a shiver pass through him causing him to stop. "Buffy" he mumbled and reached for his clothes.

The ground rumbled and shook, Buffy fell to the ground, "Ethan you are dead," she yelled. Just then Bill with a group of armed officers rushed the room.

Ethan who was facing Buffy did not see them, he was laughing wildly as he his eyes began to change to a glowing red, as Gaven's spirit invaded his body.

Buffy got to her feet and reached for her gun trying to not draw attention to the sword that laid at her feet.

"Slayer" he hissed as he floated a few inches off the floor and hovered.

"What the hell!" Bill gasped from where he was standing it looking like the perp was floating.

"Get out" Buffy yelled waving her arm "this whole place is coming down" she shouted taking aim at Gaven.

Ethan swung around to face the officers with a wave of his arm they were all send flying.

Buffy fired hitting him dead center in the heart he dropped to the floor. Buffy ran to her men ushering them out "Go I am right behind you" she coughed as the ceiling began to crumble.

Angel pulled onto the scene he opened his senses trying to locate his mate. He ran towards the building but was stopped by two armed officers. Spike appeared out of nowhere and soon the two officers where on the ground.

Buffy was about to follow her men when Ethan grabbed her from behind, they both rolled on the trembling ground, she could feel his blood dripping on her face.

"Leaving so soon love," he hissed. Ethan pulled back his fist and it connected with her face spitting her lip in two.

Buffy eyes scanned the ground and saw the sword she dove for it. She came up swinging. A moment later the blade cut through his body. Gaven's howl filled the room the sound was deafening. Buffy dropped the sword and covered her ears.

She watched as he stumbled back falling into the pit where he once stood. Angel and Spike ran into the room just in time to see Ethan grab Buffy's leg and fall.

Angel shouted seeing his mate fall into the darkened pit, he reacted without thinking. He grabbed at fallen rope knotting the rope around his waist before diving in after her. Spike lunged forward grabbing at the end of it.

Buffy struggled against Ethan/Gaven's hold as Ethan's body died his grip loosened allowing her to release his hold and he fell away from her. Buffy closed her eyes as she fell knowing this was it her time had come, anger filled her at all the things left undone.

Flashes of her life danced before her closed lids, somewhere good others where not. A fire began to burn within her and before she could stop herself a yell erupted from her as she raised the sword and drove it into the side of the tunnel.

"Slayers do not die this way," she yelled hoping the sword would hold long enough for her to get her bearings. The metal bent as it dung into the rock and dirt.

Just then two hands locked around her shoulders in scooping effect. Her head hot up and the breath was robbed from her body. "Angel" she gasped.

Spike slid forward as the rope was pulled taunt; he was able to get his baring before falling into the pit himself.

"Why do I always get the hard part?" he grunted as the rope bit into his hands.

"I've got her," Angel yelled hoping Spike could hear him. Just then the sword snapped in two.

"Hold on" Angel gasped as the both were jerked. Suddenly from below an unearthly growl was heard.

Spike braced his feet against a fallen slab of cement and began to pull, he shut out the burning pain his arms and hands and pulled.

Buffy was focused on the darkness below, "Angel if something comes up from that pit let me go" she said her eyes meeting his.

"Not on your life" he said as tightened his hold on his mate.

Spike focused on his job at hand pulling up his friends he tried not to worry about the school falling around him, he did not hid his sigh of relief at seeing Angels feet.

He gave one last mighty heave and pulled Angel clear. Buffy swung her legs up and climbed up Angel's body then turned pulled Angel free.

"Can we please get the hell out of here" Spike said looking at his bloody hands.

Together the three ran for the exit, Buffy gulped at the fresh air and they where surrounded by medics.

Giles pushed his way through and grabbed Buffy "Thank God" he said pulling her to him.

Buffy allowed herself a few moments of feeling safe within her watcher's arms before pulling away.

Bill quickly approached and assessed the damage done to his captain, "You need to go get checked out" he said signaling a medic to come over.

"I am fine, they will clean me up and we will deal with this mess," she said as the young woman led her to the back of the bus. Once Buffy was sewing up and wrapped up she was released.

Angel stood off in the background watching her as she worked, "Nice to see you showed up" Spike said as he walked over his hands had been wrapped mummy style.

"Shut up Spike," he growled moving away from him. Spike followed not giving up that easily.

"So are you back to stay or what?" he asked as he settled next to him once more.

Angel tossed him a look and said, "That is between Buffy and I" was all he was willing to offer.

Spike looked at him and shook his head, he opened his mouth to say something and decided against it, instead he walked away from him. Angel did not see the soft smile curve his mouth.

Angel watched him go, he turned his attention back to Buffy.

Bill approached her and sighed "Ok I have dealt with the media I gave the exclusive to that reporter, Buffy" he said looking over his shoulder to make sure others where out of earshot.

"That guy in there for a moment he looked like he was floating," he laughed feeling unsure.

Buffy looked at him for a moment and smiled, "Bill the whole building was shaking we were in a panic, but yeah when he jumped he did look like he was floating, so to answer your question no you are not crazy" he laughed and patted her shoulder. The tension leaving his shoulders.

"Know I would not put that in my report but…" Buffy laughed as she signed off on the paper work she was completing. She has already spoken to Giles and he would have the watchers counsel come in and clean up this mess and supply a body and try to find out what had made that growl.

Three hours later Buffy walked into her house and was met by her family, they had all gathered at the home, Buffy was exhausted and was told to take a few days off to recover. She accepted gladly.

"Something smells good," she groaned as Willow pulled her close.

"Come on I will help you get cleaned up" she offered, Buffy gave a knob and they left. Willow hissed taking in her beaten body, after a quick wipe down she was in a t-shirt and sweats. Her long hair free of rubber bands and pins.

The table was set and everyone was seated except for Angel they where in the middle eating when he showed up, he was ushered to the table and a plate was put before him.

"How are your hands? Spike" Buffy asked not looking at him, her heart still ached for what had happened, she had never thought in a million years he would ever come at her that way and it had unsettled her.

"Just peachy" was all he offered. Buffy did not push she did not have the energy. Once dinner was done she found her way to the backyard coffee in hand.

"Buffy" Giles called out softly "Every one is leaving you have the night off, Dawn is staying with Xander and Anya" he laughed sitting next to her.

"Thanks" she smiled. Buffy listened while he gave her a quick update on what the council was doing they should have a report over the next few days. With that he kissed the top of her head and left.

Buffy remained outside until her coffee was done and only then she ventured inside to refill it and return to her spot.

She sat there her mind wondering over the emotions she had felt while falling, a yawn that came out of no where caused her to get to her feet and walk into the house, she rinsed out her mug and prepare the coffee for the next morning.

She made sure the doors and windows where locked as she moved around her house closing the lights as she went.

Buffy stopped seeing Angel sitting on the sofa reading a magazine he looked up and smiled "I wanted to make sure you where really ok" he said dropping the magazine back on the table before getting to his feet.

"Fine, but considering all that has happened these past few months you don't really get to ask me those questions," she said leaning on the banister. Angel had expected a little resistance but the cold emanating off her was unnerving.

"Buffy I can explain" he started moving closer but she closed him down.

"I am tired Angel is has been a hell of a day and I am done so if you don't mind I want to go to bed" she said walking towards the door.

He stood his ground for a moment and walked out he door once behind the wheel he sat their a moment later he pulled out of her drive way and into Xander's.

Buffy did not think much as she climbed into bed and let sleep claim her, she was haunted by her dreams her mother with fangs, the sword cutting into her the pain rushing through her and the peaceful calm calling her to rest to lay her arms down and finally rest.

Buffy's eyes flew open sensing she was not alone the smell of smoke gave him away as her eyes focused on his shadowed outline sitting on the window sill.

"You're my best friend slayer, I know I hurt you and what I did was unforgivable but you pushed me to it" he said his voice low full of dismay. He did not look at her but he was focused on something outside.

"You CAN NOT go yet slayer, we all need you, I need you here, I have not been human for a very long time" he said his voice laced with emotion.

"I have this whole new life before me and I need you to guide me through it, I can not bury you again Slayer, please don't make me, I have never been afraid before in all my years of being a vampire that is the one emotion I forgot and you have made me very afraid and I don't like it"

He said pushing himself to his feet and walking over to the bed he knelt down and the moonlight caught his face.

Buffy heart broke into a million pieces as she saw the tear tracks on Spikes handsome face.

"Please don't do this to Dawn, the poof, or me everything we have ever dreamed of is within our reach don't take it away from us Slayer" he said taking her hand and resting his forehead against it.

Buffy could not stop the on slaught of emotions that ruptured forward, "Spike" she whispered as his arms pulled her close.

"Tell me" he said just then her bedroom door opened and Giles walked in he got into bed with Buffy and soon she was engulf with in the arms of these two men who had always made her feel safe and protected and she let her guard down and all her fears and dreams came pouring out.

She left nothing out her fears of her mother and disappointment, dreams she had lost because of her duty, fears of living and losing herself. The pain of living and how each day it seem to get harder, the pretending was over she allowed them to see and share her pain.

Once the tears where spent Buffy had her head in Giles lap he was gently stroking her hair, Spike was stretched out facing her at the foot of the bed.

"I am just so tired, I know that is not what you want to hear but that is how I feel, I just want to rest is that so bad to want that?" Buffy asked closing her eyes as exhaustion finally took over.

"Yes Slayer it is what you don't realize is when you rest that is when you start to die" he whispered his voice full of emotions. He knew that she had already passed into slumber.

Spike looked at Giles who was scared to the very root of his soul, he had no idea how bad things had gotten, how battered her spirit really was.

"Spike we are in trouble she is fighting herself now, to keep on the ball I am at a loss of what to do" the watcher said.

"Angel may be able to help he may be able balance her out" Spike said rolling over to stare at the ceiling.

"If she lets him, she is half way gone already Spike, we may have to accept this as it is, she has lasted longer then any other slayer to come before her" Giles said not wanting to accept the truth.

Spike sat up angry "I WILL NOT Accept that option damn it. All the more reason for her to fight, she has earned her happiness why let it slip away when all is within reach" he demanded.

Giles smiled sadly "That is not for us to decide all we can do to is help, I will speak to the counsel tomorrow and see if there is anything they can do but until then stay close to her Spike"


	20. Chapter 20

I am soo sorry for the long long delay - I was dealing with an illness then death of a family memeber. I will finish this story out thanks

Chpt 20

Angel sat in silence, he was in shock everything he had ever wanted was within his reach, how cruel fate could be. He had never anticipated that his slayer would tire of this life.

"Angel are you ok?," Xander asked as he tried to burp Naya. Dawn walked into the living room and sat down. She was tired and feeling caged.

"Dawn lets go for a walk" he said reaching for her hand, she allowed herself to be pulled from the sofa and pushed out the door.

Together they walked in silence, their minds racing, Angel took her arm as they passed the Java Hut.

"Coffee?" he asked already pulling the door open and ushering her inside. Once at a table a tired looking waitress forced a smile and took their order.

Once the coffee arrived Dawn fingered the shot glass that Angel pushed her way.

"We are in a fix here squirt," he said downing his Brandy with a smiled it burned down his throat to settle in his belly.

"Angel how did it get like this, I mean Spike is human all my dreams are coming true. Why do I feel so bad! Why do I feel so guilty?" she said finally looking at him.

Angel reached for his coffee and said.

"I know what you mean I am here to stay Dawn I expected this to be a happy time. I come back to find out all hell has broken loose" he picked up his spoon and twirled it in fingers before dropping it into the hot liquid.

"She has given up Angel and there is nothing I can do about it" Dawn said finally bringing the shoot to her mouth.

"Don't tell me this is her destiny, she has done **too **much lived too hard to just give up this way" Dawn said allowing the pent up anger show.

"She deserves to have a life a family when that is within her reach this happened" Dawn spat. Angel reached for her hand when the items on the table began to vibrate.

"How is Spike dealing with all of this?" Angel asked signaling for two more shots.

"He is terrified" Dawn said turning her head to look out the window, "She is his best friend, she taught the demon within him how to feel. I don't know what he will do if she" her voice drifted off..

"Hey I won't let it get that far" he said more to comfort himself than her. Angel knew if Buffy's spirit was dying there was not much he could do.

Before Dawn could respond Spike slid into the seat next to her

"Are you trying to get my mate drunk peaches?" he asked trying for humor. Angel took in the younger man, he was pale and drawn his eyes clearly reflected his true age.

"Nope she has to be a bit loony already to love you" Angel responded waving the waitress over.

Spike waited until the woman placed his coffee and shot before him. Spike reached for the amber liquid.

He slapped the glass down and accepted the shot glass Dawn pushed towards him. Three shots later he picked up his coffee and said softly.

"We are in trouble here folks, we have no idea how much shit we are in" he looked at Angel his eyes pleading.

"Angel if anyone can fix this, it is you I can't reach her I can't pull her back. I am begging you **DO NOT** let her go not this way" tears filled his eyes and the grief Spike had been fighting off the last few days finally caught up with him and he could not stop the rolling emotions within him.

Within moments he was in his car with Dawn holding him. Angel drove them to the mansion

"You two need some alone time," he said as he shut the car off.

Once inside he pushed the keys into Dawn' s hand and left. Angel was shaken to the very core he had never seen that kind of emotion from Spike before.

He parked his car behind Buffy's and just sat their not thinking waiting for the sun to rise.

-----------

Buffy rose with the sun, she rolled over and saw Giles fast asleep and the night can rushing back to her. Feeling her eyes on him he opened his.

"Morning" he smiled touching the tip of her nose. Buffy dropped her head back down on her pillow with a groan.

"How about you and I spend the day together?," Giles asked pulling the blanket up to cover them both.

Buffy smiled snuggling into his shoulder "I would like that, no phones or TV just watcher and slayer" she muttered feeling safe and warm.

Giles laughed and gently corrected her "No phones or T.V or radios just Father and Daughter time" he said waiting for her to respond.

He smiled when she rested her head on his chest "I like your day better then mine"

All was quiet once more and Giles knew she was passing into slumber once more, he relaxed and waited.

"Does that mean you are going to cook me pancakes and home fries?" she mumbled from her spot.

Giles laughed rubbing her back gently how he loved this young woman. Once he was certain she was sleeping he slipped from the bed and quickly showered and made his way down to start breakfast.

He picked up the phone and called Xander and passed on that everyone should just lay low today to give her the space she is seeking. Xander assured him he would call everyone and pass this on.

Angel was just getting ready to knock on the door when his cell went off he frowned when he heard what Xander told him but he would respect her wishes. He told Xander that Spike and Dawn where at the mansion.

Angel headed back to his hotel room and gather his belonging he had gone there not wanting anyone to know he was back in town he wanted Buffy to know first. Know it really did not matter.

***

Buffy opened her eyes the smell of beacon rousted her from sleep she rolled out of bed and quickly made her bed and reached for her robe and headed for the shower.

Giles was setting the table on the deck when she breezed into the kitchen. "Morning" she laughed seeing the stack of pancakes, beacon and home fries.

Buffy grabbed a strip of beacon and reached for the pot of coffee, she placed it on the tray along with two mugs, sugar and cream.

Once they where seated and eating did Buffy asked "So what is on the agenda for today?"

Giles smiled and said "Well that is up to you. What do you want to do?" he watched the play of emotion on her face.

"You are serious" she said reaching for her coffee when his smile held she leaned back into her chair and asked.

"What's up Giles, don't get me wrong I love the whole quality time thing but" Giles leaned forward cutting her off.

"Buffy just take it as it is, when is the last time we did something like this, just you and I. I have a camera and several rolls of film to mark the day so what is it the carnival in town or picnic" he asked looking all prim and proper.

Buffy smiled and said, "The carnival it is" soon they where cleaning up and heading out the door.

***

Spike found Angel nursing a coffee in the garden "hey" he said as he sat down and reached for a mug and the coffee pot.

Angel smiled and said, "Dawn still asleep?" he shifted in his chair so he could look at the younger man.

"Yes she is exhausted no thanks to me" he muttered looking at the blue sky. They fell silent until Angel said.

"She is spending the day with Giles, we are to give her space" Angel finished off his coffee and stood up.

"I am leaving I have to find a building to set up shop know that I am back" Angel said reaching for his keys.

Spike looked up at him and said "Back" he questioned.

"Yes Spike Cordy and Doyle will be manning the office in LA while I open a new one here. I want Buffy I have always wanted Buffy. The only thing I have to do is make her see that and get her to realize she can trust me to stay".

Spike hid his smile and asked "What if she won't take you back" Angel stood there for a moment and thought about it and finally offered as he turned his back on him to walk away.

"That won't happen but if it does I am still not leaving" he called over his shoulder as he walked into the house.

Dawn was just walking toward the French doors "Hi" she said blinking against the sunlight.

Angel stopped briefly to kiss her forehead "Take it easy today" he said and left.

-----------

Willow sat on the sofa holding Naya she had dropped by leaving Oz to man the shop.

"There has to be something we can do," she said making a face at the baby. Anya sat at her feet working away on planning the baby's baptismal.

Xander was standing in the doorway; he too had taken the day off to help Anya plan for the big day.

"Nope this is one battle Buffy has to face alone" he said starring out the window he was trying to play down the feeling of dred that sat in the pit of his stomach.

"Is that not the way it always is, I mean we help but at the end of it all it just her. Everything rests on her shoulders" Anya said in a matter of fact way. She stopped writing and tilted her head to the side sighing.

"Come to think of it all of YOU not me YOU have not made it easy. Buffy does everything for you" Anya was deep in thought not aware of the glares that both Xander and Willow where sending her way.

"You all whine and tell her how to do things when you don't agree. I say you all have it coming if i where the slayer i would have staked you all years ago"she muttered going back to her list.

"Xander please call Dawn and remind her that she has to meet us at the church for 3pm" when she was met with slience she looked at both of them.

"What am I wrong add touchy to that long list" she muttered. Xander reached for his phone just as it rang

It was Angel wanting to know if Xander could meet him downtown, Xander asked him to hold on.

"Anya I have to go meet Angel downtown, I will drop by the florist and confirm the flowers and hall" he went back the phone as he headed out the door.

"Call Dawn" she called out, not getting up from her stop still focused on her list.

Xander stopped at the door and turned on his heel returning the way he came. He stopped in front of Anya who raised her face for his kiss. He leaned over and dropped a kiss on his daughter's head.

"Is he back for good or just a visit," Willow asked looking at Xander, who smiled and said.

"For good everything will work out" he said before kissing her check Naya began to fuss so Willow pulled her eyes away to tend to the little one.

Twenty minutes later he was standing outside of a small two-story building just off the main strip.

"So what do you think?" Angel asked as he gazed at the structure a small smiled curved his full lips.

"This use to be the old tackle shop right?" Xander said as he followed Angel toward the door.

Once inside he roamed free, Angel stood by the main window. "The building is sound foundation, plumbing, electricity is all in great shape" he said.

Xander smiled and finally asked "I am happy for you but what do you need from me?" he asked coming to stand in front of him.

Angel smiled and said, "I need a top of the line security system, sensors, cameras on all doors and in the parking lot, you can do that," he asked.

Xander smiled and said, "Yeah but it will cost you" Xander could not help but laugh at Angel's expression.

"When can you start?" Angel asked as they locked up. Xander laughed and said.

"Angel you have to lease the building first" the younger man stopped when he saw the ex vampire blush.

"You already did, didn't you" he asked looking that the building once more

"I bought the building Xander" Angel said walking towards his car. "So when can you start?" he asked again.

"Give me a set of keys and I will have one of my guys come by and draw up the scheme and create the proposal and we will set down after the baptismal and talk about how you want things set and what type of software you want"

Xander said turning all businessman.

"Good are you up for lunch" he asked opening his car door. Xander walked towards him.

"Sure I have a few errands to run but you can tag along" he said getting into Angel's car.

The older man smiled shaking his head as he got behind the wheel.

Spike and Dawn drove to the church in silence each lost in their own thoughts. Anya met them outside and soon they where running through what would be expected of them. Almost an hour later they where all seated in Xander's back yard firing up the grill.

Angel was relaxed he hid his smile when Willow made her way over to him and sat down.

"I heard you have returned to Sunnydale for good?" she asked looking him in the eye.

"You heard right" he confirmed not looking at her.

"And may I ask what your intentions are" she asked sipping at her wine following his line of sight. Angel was watching Xander and Anya interacting with Naya.

Angel finally looked at her and smiled "My intentions are to have that" he said pointing in their direction.

"What I want is that," he repeated reaching for his beer. He suddenly turned to face her.

"Willow I understand you wanting to protect Buffy, but I love her and I will not allow you or anyone to stand in my way any longer. I have made too many mistakes already I don't plan on making any more" he held her gaze for a moment longer and went back to watching Xander who was know blowing wet kisses on Naya's belly while Spike made funny faces at the child.

"Ok" Willow said reaching out to place her hand on his. Angel did not hold back his smile.

Buffy laughed as she watched Giles eating his candy apple, she had already finished hers they where making their way back to his car.

"I had a wonderful day Giles thank you" she said taking is keys. He did not argue he was too busy eating his apple.

"Why have I never eaten one of these before" he groaned as he tossed the stick in the trash bag attached to his gearshift.

Buffy laughed once more and turned down the main street. Giles reached for his cell phone on its third ring. Buffy turned the music down and focused on her driving.

Giles spoke briefly to Xander and ended the call "That was Xander he is having a B.B.Q, he would like to know if you would like to drop by" he asked turning to look at her.

Buffy thought for a moment and responded "No I think I will go home relax before I go out" she said not looking at him.

Giles gave a nod and let the comfortable silence fill the car once more. Buffy parked the car and they went inside, soon they where both snoozing on the sofa with the T.V on

Angel hid his disappointment at Buffy deciding to go home but allowed him self to relax and enjoy the BBQ.

The sun slowly set and Buffy became alert, she blinked and looked around and saw Giles still fast asleep on the opposite side of the sofa. Buffy got to her feet.

She reached for a blanket and covered the sleeping watcher, Buffy slowly made her way upstairs.

Twenty minutes later Buffy was locking her front door she walked down the street breathing deeply trying to center her self. She paused outside of the cemetery her hand fell on Mr. Pointy the smooth wood seemed to calm her.

Spike followed from a distance watching his friend, he was worried that she was not aware of his presence.

Spike watched Buffy stake four vamps he watched how she moved and was sadden to see her bounce was gone. He watched her walk among the headstones stopping in front of her mothers, her hand reached out to gently touch the close stone.

Buffy blinked away tears as she sat down. Her mind not really focused on one particular thing. Spike watched her from a distance his heart breaking as he saw the sadness flow from her.

Time was lost as he waited for Buffy to head home. He left her only when she was securely in her house.

He stopped at Xander's to pick up Dawn and together they went back to Buffy's. Dawn unlocked the door and they where met with silence. Dawn went to the kitchen and returned with a glass of juice.

Spike made his way upstairs and poked his head into Buffy's room it was empty, Giles was softly snoring in his bed. Spike turned to the main floor just to have Dawn say.

"She is in the basement" Spike smiled at her as she waved him off, he stopped to remove his jacket and shoes.

He slowly made his way done the stairs and stopped seeing Buffy trying to meditate.

He sat down and watched until she sighed and said "I can't do this if you are watching me"

Spike stood up and laughed, "Sorry bit I just wanted to know how your day was?" Spike came down the rest of the way and dropped himself down on the sofa.

Marcus sat quietly listening to the vampire ramble on about how the slayer has lost her edge, and it would be a matter of time before he ticked her off. Marcus hid his smile if anyone would be ticking of the slayer it would be him.

He stood up and tossed a few bills down and left the bar. He stopped and smelt the air. Angel thought he could hide from him but he was mistaken.

He smiled as he watched the young woman lock her car door and head for the dark building. He quietly followed the hunger within him raging, as he felt his face shimmer.

The poor woman had no idea what hit her; one-minute she was walking toward the library to drop off a book in the slot and then nothing. Marcus smiled as he dropped her lifeless body to the ground.

He reached into his jacket and pulled out his small back case "Where do I begin"

Buffy woke to the sound of her phone ringing, she blindly grabbed for it "Summers" she mumbled as she looked at the alarm it was a little after 1:15am.

"Buffy sorry to wake you but we have a situation and I am not sure how to handle this" Bill said quickly.

"I have never seen anything like this before" he continued.

Buffy sat up reaching for the lamp on the bedside table, she was instantly alert.

"Where are you?" she said tossing back the covers.

"Sunnydale Public Library" he stammered.

"I'm on my way Bill," she said hanging up the phone. Buffy quietly made her way down the stairs and switched on the coffee maker. She moved quietly and with speed back upstairs.

She took a quick shower and was dressed within minutes. She carried her gun holster into the kitchen and she rested in on the table and along with her jacket and SDPD baseball cap.

She quickly filled her travel mug and slipped her windbreaker and hostler on her badge hung from her waistband.

Buffy drove on to the scene her cherries flashing, Bill approached her waited until she got out of her jeep and took her arm.

"Have you eaten?" he asked looking at the door, which was guarded by three-armed policeman.

"No why" Buffy asked as they walked in the door. The rest of what she said died on her lips at what she saw.

Buffy stood in the main hall of the Public Library gazing at the woman who hung from the ceiling by her own intestines.

"That's not all" Bill said pulling her gently towards the high counter where the receptionist would sit greeting the people who entered.

There where several small boxed lined up Buffy stepped closer and looked down in to the first box. She quickly clamped down on the rolling of her stomach inside where the woman's eyes, the next her ears and tongue then her liver and heart.

Buffy took a deep breath and turned around to gaze at her men "I want this place on lockdown no one goes in or out until the forensic team get here." She said pulling her cap lower on her head as she moved towards the door.

"Bill I want the media off of this nothing gets out, I want any surveillance videos in this place and the surrounding stories." Buffy began to move with a purpose.

Half an hour later she was sitting in one of the backrooms talking to Mike, "Be sharp I have to go address the press page me if you see anything that does not feel right"

Buffy walked back into the main hall the watched as the corner stood quietly as the forensic team worked as one unit gathering all the little pieces of this horrific puzzle.

"Summers they are waiting for you" Bill called out.

Buffy took a deep breath and straighten her shoulders and walked out of the building into the blinding sun to meet with the press.


	21. Chapter 21

Giles sat on the sofa and watch Buffy talking to the media, he was not really paying attention to what she was saying he was to busy watching his slayer.

He noticed the tense line of her shoulders the way she was forcing herself to relax to appear calm. He stood up and went to the door after the doorbell sounded twice.

"Morning" he said to Angel as he made his way back to the TV. "Coffee is fresh," he said as he sat back down.

Angel made a beeline for the kitchen but quickly returned to sit next to the watcher.

"Do you know what happened?" he asked getting comfortable.

Giles gave a nod "Murder at the library" he muttered his eyes glued to the screen.

"She looks tired" Angel said looking at Giles. Who again nodded his head?

"She was gone when I woke up" the watcher said turning up the volume.

TV Conversation

_Sergeant have you identified the body" the reporter asked shouldering her way into the front of the caution tape._

_Buffy gave a quick shake of her head "No yet but once we do the proper channels will be followed. Please try to be patient when we know something we will let you know. Thank you all for your time" Buffy quickly turned away and walked back towards the building leaving Bill to wrap up._

"I am assuming Spike has told you the issue with Buffy" Giles said switching off the TV.

Angel smiled "Yeah I am working on it" he said getting up. "I need to talk to Dawn"

"She is gone she had to go to the university this morning to submit her forms" Giles said getting to his feet as well.

Angel signed "Ok if you see her please tell her to call me" he said as he walked towards the kitchen to rinse out his coffee mug. He was just getting ready to leave when Spike called out.

"Morning Peaches" the blond said reaching for a mug. Angel stopped and turned to the younger man.

"What are you doing today?" he asked leaning up against the counter. Spike made his coffee and took a sip.

"For a man that drinks tea Giles sure makes a mean coffee," he muttered before turning his attention to Angel.

"Not much why?" he asked moving to the table.

"Finish your coffee and go get dressed. I have something to show you" Angel smiled pushing away from the counter. He returned to the living room and switched the TV back on.

He watched the coverage hoping to get a glimpse of Buffy, half an hour later Spike walked into the living room freshly showered and ready to go.

"Just where are you taking me" he asked as they walked out to Angel's car, the older man just smiles and started the car.

***

Buffy watched them slowly lower the woman to the ground, "Take her out the back" she said to the young corner who gave a soft nod of his head as he handled the body gently.

"We have it sectioned off no media," she said turning her back to find both Mike and Bill packing up the tapes.

"Ok boys lefts head out and leave these guys to finish up" she said stopping in front of Bill.

"Call me if you need me, I will start the log in we really can't do anything until the crime scenes is done with their processing. Once they ID the body that is when we step in," she sighed.

Bill smiled and said "I will meet you at the station" he gave her shoulder a squeeze and walked away.

Buffy walked to her car the reporters called her name trying to wave her over but she offered a tight smile and got into her jeep.

***

Marcus sat on the bed in the hotel room and smiled as he watched the coverage. "Slayer nice to meet you" he said into the empty room.

***

"This is a nice building Angel but why are we here?" Spike asked as he gazed around the empty space

"How about we work together," Angel said from the doorway, he watched Spike stop and fully turn to look at him.

"Come again Peaches" Spike asked a little confused.

"Let go have a bite to eat and I will give you the details," Angel said switching off the lights and opening the door.

***

Buffy sat behind her desk trying to focus on her report; her mind kept drifting back to library and what she had seen.

"I thought you might need this" Anya said from the doorway. Buffy lifted her head to see the x-demon loaded up with a baby carryall and a large coffee and bag.

Buffy smiled and waved her in. "Anya you are a life saver" she smiled accepting the bag, which held a toasted omelet sandwich.

"We where in the area and thought we would stop in and say hello" Anya said pulling Naya free of her seat.

Buffy felt her heart swell "Every time I see her I fall in love all over again" she smiled accepting the little bundle.

Buffy and Anya talked with ease about the upcoming events; they both eat their food while Naya slept in Buffy's arms.

An hour later Anya glanced at her watch and said "Oh we have to go" she said standing up reaching for her travel bag.

Buffy stood up and place the baby back into the carryall. "Thanks Anya I truly appreciated the distraction" she smiled hugging her friend.

"BBQ at my place if you get out of here in time" Anya said moving towards the door.

"Oh Buffy"she said stopping to look at the slayer "Naya is lucky to have you she is gonna need someone like you to to run to when Xander and I are being overbearing parents" with a smile she made her way out the door.

Buffy waved her off, understanding the hidden message with a shake of her head she got back to work. Sometime later Bill poked his head in

"Summers we have and ID" he said slapping the inside of the door frame, "I will bring the report in here" he said ducking back out to return with a file.

Buffy got to her feet sighed this is the one part of her job she hated. They moved quietly down the hall towards the staircase that would take them to the morgue.

"Hey Sara" Buffy called out seeing the older woman getting the body ready for the review.

"Buffy how are you doing" Sara smiled as she pulled the sheet back. Bill took a deep breath and began to read from the file.

"Monica Shoemaker, 25 single lives at home with her parents 4 year resident at Sunnydale Medical Center" Bill paused looking at Buffy who was walking slowly around the body.

"Keep going Bill" she muttered her eyes slowly going over the victim's body trying to see if anything un natural had done this.

"Was last seen yesterday after floor rotations she was to meet up with some friends for a birthday celebration but was a no show"

Buffy continued her walk around softly calling out "Sara tell me what you found"

Sara started with the obvious "Cause of death is unknown, there is no blood in the body" as soon as those words left her mouth Buffy saw it the puncture wounds on her neck closer to the hair line then usual.

"Victims eyes, liver, heart, tongue, and lungs where removed from her body, no evidence of sexual assault. Rape kits are still being processed. There are no defensive wounds, in my opinion she was taken by surprise"

Buffy listened as the older woman finished off her report and smiled her thanks.

"Bill we should go and notify her family" she said, as they made their way upstairs.

"Buffy" Sara called out causing them to stop at the door "The person that did this know how to use a scalpel, they must have some kind of medical background, that just my opinion of course. I'll put that in my report" she muttered going back to her task.

"Mike and Casey are on their way," he said sitting down in front of her desk. Once they were back in Buffy's office. Time was lost as they worked the hour's bleed together as they tried to piece the puzzle together with what they had.

The knock on the door brought both Buffy and Bill back to reality

"Sorry I was told I could come in" Angel said he held a bag in his hand and a coffee in the other.

"Bill I brought in a few pizza's I saw the news and thought you all might of forgotten to eat" Angel said with a smile.

Bill stood up he stretched and groaned "Thanks man I am starving, Buffy I will take this and worked the rest of the time line tomorrow after the interviews. I will keep you posted, I'm off to eat then I'm headed home for some shuteye. You should do the same" he smiled picking up his paperwork and walking out giving Angel's shoulder a slap.

"That was nice of you" Buffy said sitting back in her chair her shoulder was throbbing.

"What's in the bag?" she asked as her stomach growled with hunger.

"BBQ chicken macaroni salad, potatoes and veggies" he smiled filling the chair Bill had just empted.

"Xander's famous chicken" She groaned reaching for the bag. Angel sat back and watched her eat.

Buffy asked Angel to close the door once this was done and he was once again seated she tossed him the file.

He took it and reviewed it "Can I see the body" he asked after he was done. Buffy wiped her mouth and gave a nod.

"Let me call Giles once he gets here we can go the body is being released tomorrow" she said. Angel watched her place the call.

The office was quiet while they waited for Giles, Buffy used this time to clean off her desk she made her agenda for tomorrow. She needed to be briefed on other cases and review her court dates.

Angel finally broke the silence "So how long have you been at this" he noticed the way she was favoring her shoulder.

"Bill called me a little after 1 this morning" she said getting up, he watched her pull open her door and walk from her office into a main area and look at a large board that hung on the wall.

He watched her wipe out names and dates and replaced them with others. Twice uniformed men stopped her; one she signed off on something the other he followed her back into her office.

"Sarg we are short staffed tonight Jake is off his daughter is sick and Miranda has the flu" Buffy sighed and reached for a binder, she looked at a schedule a and said, "Give me a minute or so"

Buffy made a few calls and call the young man back in "Ok Carol will cover Jake's shift and I will cover the half of Miranda's and Max has agreed to be on call for the remainder of the day and later on tonight"

Angel frowned at this it was already 6:45pm she looked tired. "So what time do u get to leave?" he asked.

Before Buffy could say anything Giles walked in, Buffy stood up with the file and said "OK boys lets get to work"

An hour later Giles was getting ready to leave and Angel was back in Buffy's office. Buffy was talking to Monica Shoemaker's parents they wanted to know what was being done to catch their daughters killer.

Angel called Spike and gave him the details on the murder and asked him to do the legwork he did not want to leave Buffy.

Buffy walked back into her office at 10:30 she was a bit shocked to see Angel still there.

"You could have left with Giles" she said sitting in her chair, her shoulder and stomach where both throbbing.

"Spike is checking the local haunts to see what he can find, I am where I need to be," he said looking her in the eye.

Buffy was too tired to argue, so she went back to work, Miranda's job was to cataloged all evidence that came into the department, Buffy made her way downstairs and signed in and began to do this.

Angel sighed with relief when he saw her return to the main office by 12:45am.

"Ok I am out of here see you all in a few hours" she smiled and waved.

"Where are your keys" he asked and caught them when she tossed them over.

"Stop at the cemetery I will do a quick sweep" she said closing her eyes. Angel was glad he has stayed.

Together they ran through the cemeteries and 4 vamps later Buffy was standing under a hot showered.

Before coming up Buffy had Thanked Angel for what he had done and had gone upstairs.

Buffy was shocked he was in her bedroom. "Your not suppose to be here" she said tightening the belt from her robe.

"I will leave once I give your shoulder a rub down, and don't say its ok. " he said when she went to protest.

"I've seen how you have been slouching and favoring it all afternoon" he said.

Buffy watched him turn his back "Lose the robe and get in bed" he said hands on hips.

Buffy did as she was told she was too tired and a rub would do her well a few minutes later she said.

"OK" Buffy mumbled she was lying flat on her stomach. Angel bit down on his arouse and pulled the sheet down to her waist.

He tried not to notice the scars that ran across her lower back. He squeezed a small amount of the ointment into the center of his hand and rubbed them together warming it in his hands.

Buffy could not stop the shiver that ran through her body when his hands met her flesh.

"Buffy you need to relax if this is going to work" he whispered, and smiled when he felt her body go slack.

Angel gently worked the knots from her back leading up to her shoulder; he smiled with each groan or sigh that passed from her mouth.

"Am I hurting you?" he asked when he got no response he leaned over and saw she was fast asleep. He gently kissed her face and pulled the covers up and left.

He stopped to wash his hands and was on his way down the stairs when Spike walked.

Spike closed the door and said, "Who is Marcus and why does he hate you so much?" he asked.

Angel was taken back by the anger in his voice, "Word is Marcus is gunning for you and is here to take away what you took from him.

***

Marcus was on the prowl he moved among the humans as if he where one himself. He decided to get familiar with his new home, he moved through the streets with a smile on his face. He saw a beautiful woman sitting outside at late night café.

"Well maybe a I'll stop for a little snack" he said to him self as he moved into the shadows to watch.

****

Spike watched as Angel hung up the phone, he turned to look at him "Cordy will fax over the file under that name" Angel said reaching for his coat.

"Buffy is sleeping I will be at my place once I get the fax I will call you" he sighed moving towards the door.

"I will come with you" Spike said getting up from the table "We can talk about what my salary will be" he joked.

Buffy was in the cords of a nightmare, she was surrounded by vampires and she could not move. She shot upright when they closed in.

"It was a dream that's all" she muttered as her hand rubbed her face. She looked at the clock and it was a little after 3 in the morning. Buffy knew she would not get anymore sleep that night so she threw back the covers.

She quickly dressed and moved through her house, Dawn was at Willows and Giles was at his place, Spike was nowhere to be found.

Buffy made her way down to the basement, she was feeling restless she went to the laundry room and from the clean clothes basket that had yet to be put away she pulled out a pair of joggers and shirt.

Soon she was walking outside the air was warm and fresh she walked slowly looking at the dark house letting her mind drift over her day and the horror she had seen.

As she crossed the park Buffy felt a tingle shoot down her back causing her to stop. Buffy took a deep breath and relaxed trying to pin point what she had heard.

When she heard nothing she began to walk when suddenly she hard a soft cry from the trees just off to the park.

Buffy took off running at top speed, she crashed threw the trees and saw a man hunched over a woman the moonlight flashed on the blade he held in his hand.

Her foot connected with his back sending him flying over the woman, who was lying on the ground bleeding from her neck and chest.

Buffy put herself between the woman and the man who was slowly getting to his feet.

"Didn't your mother ever teach you not to play with knives" she said her body tight.

****

Spike sat with Angel waiting for him to finish reading what had just come through the fax machine.

"Ok this happened about 3 years ago" Angel said reaching for his mug of coffee.

"Marcus Sandler, was a surgeon that was turned, I was on a hunt and came across both him and his sire. I staked her and nearly got him but he got away." Angel stopped to take a sip of his coffee.

"So you killed his sire and know he wants revenge," Spike asked looking confused. "Why wait so long" he asked getting to his feet, he was suddenly on edge.

"No Marcus has popped up here and there he disappeared about a year ago all my leads went cold he was famous for cutting his victims up" his voice died off as he remembered the case Buffy was working on.

"I'm an idiot," he shouted grabbing the rest of the papers and his jacket. "Come on we got to go show this to Buffy" he said.

Spike followed not saying a word.

****

Marcus took his time getting to his feet, he felt his face shimmer, he slowly turned to stare at the slayer, laughter erupted from him and he touched the tip of his knife to his temple as his other hand raked through his black hair.

"This could not be better," he laughed as he pulled at his own hair.

Buffy was a bit taken back by his response. Cold fear slid down her back as she watched him. He was laughing hysterically the knife pressed against his head so sharply the skin slit.

"My mother taught me many things," he laughed pointing to the woman on ground. "Like never to play with my food, as you can see" he said taking a step towards Buffy smiling.

"I could not help myself" he stopped just before her. "Tell me slayer is it true what they say, that you're a little slow these days because if your not feeling well" he cocked his head to the side showing mock sincerity.

"We can reschedule for another night" Marcus was relaxed he was sizing her up looking for something that would give him the upper hand.

Buffy forced herself to remain still her body relaxed, something told her this was not a run of the mill vamp. He was too controlled.

"Where did you come from?" Buffy said tossing a glance at the woman on the ground she had grown quiet. That was her mistake, the next thing she knew she was slammed up against a tree his fingers around her neck, the knife slid into her side with ease.

White-hot pain flared within her, Buffy grabbed his wrist and used sheer strength to pry his fingers from her.

"Angel will feel my pain once I am done with you, they will not be able to put you back together once I am done. How I look forward to your screams," he whispered in her ear.

Buffy tried to block out the pain, but could not stop the cry of pain as he pulled the blade free.

She watched in a daze as he slowly licked the blade clean. Once again his eyes found hers.

"I taste fear slayer," he laughed advancing once more.

***

Spike came down the stairs his body on alert he called out for Angel who was coming up from the basement.

"She is not there," Spike said swearing he should have stayed. Angel walked over to the phone.

"Who are you going to call this late" he asked wanting to leave the house and search for Buffy.

"Giles" Angel said as the phone rang.

"Ok you do that I'm going out," he said unable to wait any longer he had a horrible feeling in his stomach.

Angel caught up to him just as he cross the lot heading for the park.

"He is on his way" Angel said stopping as he felt a shudder pass through him his eyes scanned the area.

Spike watched his friends eyes turn to glowing ambers "She's in trouble" he said taking off at full speed.

Spike was right behind him.

***

Buffy head rolled back as his fist connected with her mouth, blood spurted from her mouth.

"Slayer this is a bit disappointing. I thought you where something to be feared" he laughed.

Buffy responded with a punch to his chest and followed with elbow to his face.

"That's more like it," he said slashing at her. Buffy moved out of reach, she could feel herself bleeding out.

Her body was growing tired she was fighting a losing battle she knew this in her heart. Just as he Marcus advanced on her Angel and Spike appeared Buffy could not contain her sigh of relief.

Spike went to his slayer his arms wrapped around her as her knees gave away.

"Check the girl" Buffy whispered as Spike gently laid her down on the ground.

Angel attacked Marcus with a vengeance. "You should have stayed gone," he said as he tackled him.


	22. Chapter 22

There is one more chapter to go then this story is done - I am sorry for the delays but life kind of got in the way! I am flying without a beta so i am soo sorry for any errors you find .

I own nothing!

Chpt 22

Marcus slowly got to his feet with a chuckle "The man of the hour has arrived" he raked his hands threw his hair pulling at the ends.

"Your Slayer is sweet'' Marcus licked his lips groaning loudly.

Spike felt for a pulse on the unmoving woman he found a faint thread of one, he pulled out his cell phone and called 911.

Angel realizing this was not going to end here said "You are dead I will be coming for you. There is no place you can hide that I won't find you"

Marcus leaned forward in a slight bow "I look forward to it bring your slayer if she is up to it" he laughed as he turned and ran into the darkness.

Angel was at Buffy's side he felt fear as he took in her pale face her breathing had slowed right down, he gently touched her face.

"Buffy hold on don't leave me just yet" he went to say more but sirens filled the air soon both women where carted away.

Spike told Bill Buffy had stumbled upon the attack and was hurt in the struggle suspect got away. Bill looked at Spike he was watching Angel get in the back of the ambulance.

"How did you know?" Bill asked trying to make sense of what he was just told. Spike took a deep breath and said.

"I was on the phone with her she decided to go for a walk she couldn't sleep we were chatting and she heard a noise and went to check she told me where she was and to call it in" Spike looked at the man willing him to accept the story at face value.

"And when you got here the suspect was gone" Bill asked looking around the area.

"Yes when we got here they were both on the ground maybe he heard us and ran off. Listen Bill I get that you are doing your job but I want to the hospital, I've told you what has happened" Spike tried to remain calm.

Bill looked at him a moment longer and said "Ok if I have any more questions I know where to find you" he watched the blond hair man run for his car and drive into the night.

Spike drove right to Willows and let himself in and found Dawn sleeping on the sofa with the TV on. "Love wake up" he said touching her shoulder.

"Whatsa matter" Dawn said opening her eyes. Spike sat down beside her and said

"Its Buffy go get Willow we have to go ill explain everything in the car" Dawn saw the panic in his eyes and did not question him.

Moments later they piled into his car and he explained what had happened. Willow called Giles but got his machine.

Angel paced the floor waiting, Giles rushed in his face pale he saw Angel and ran over he clutched his arm and said.

"Any word" Giles could not hide the fear in his eyes before Angel could respond the others rushed in.

Angel held up his hands and said "We are waiting so everyone get comfortable" he watched them shuffle into the chairs provided. Willow left the room returning shortly with coffee. She quietly handed them out and took a seat.

Willow took a deep breath and focused on her friend calling to her gently seeking her out. To the on lookers Willow appeared to be sleeping in her chair. Spike new better he gently kissed Dawns hand which he held before releasing in to go to Willow.

He sat next to her and took hand and whispered "Go and find her" Willow felt his warm and pushed forward.

Buffy was in a warm place she was comfortable and at peace. She felt someone approaching and smiled

"You should not be here Willow" Buffy said as she floated in her peace.

"Neither should you" was Willows response.

Buffy closed her eyes and spoke from her heart "I'm tired Will, it's too hard, it's time I let go and move on its time for someone else to take up the battle"

Willow blinked away tears "Buffy why do you think you have lasted this long, there is more to do" she pleaded softly.

Buffy signed and turned away from her friend "Please leave me alone Willow" she said closing her friend out.

Spike watched at Willow lifted her head her eyes glazed as she blinked away her tears. Spike stood up and walked toward the nurse's station before he could say a word the doctor was before him.

Giles stood to meet the man; he offered a smile and rested his hand the watchers shoulder.

"She is resting nothing was damaged the only concern is the blood loss." Angel released the breath he was holding he moved closer to Giles

"Is she awake can I see her" he asked not allowing the doctor to speak. The man raised his hand to slow Angel down.

"Giles there is a small problem; Buffy seems to be in a coma she is not responding to any stimulants. I'm at a loss''.

Spike having heard what the Doctor had said he went in search of his friend, he found her in the last room it was dark the heavy curtains closing out all the light.

He sat down beside her and took her hand in his "Slayer" he whispered as his thumb stroked her hand.

"I don't know where to begin, I need you please don't do this. Don't make me face this life alone, Dawn needs you, please do not cause her this pain".

Angel stood in the door way listening to his friend speak to his lover and he felt great sadness there was not much on what to do when a slayers spirit dies, they never lived long enough for it to matter.

Marcus walked the length of his hotel room rage flaming inside him. He has cleaned his tools twice all the while flashes of the slayer danced before him.

He continued his march ticking off the seconds off until he went on the hunt for her. A smile curved his full lips.

Joyce Summers sat stroking her daughter's hair; her head cradled in her lap.

Buffy was at peace within her mother's embrace.

"Did you hear him sweetheart?" she gently asked again forcing her daughter to respond.

Buffy smiled "Why can't I stay? I don't want to go back" was her response, she lifted her head to look at the woman who had shaped her into the woman she was.

Joyce smiled and reached up to cup her daughters face

"Oh Buffy my beautiful sweet baby girl. It's not your time yet. You have a life ahead of you with the man you love. You just have to reach out and take it." Joyce held her daughters face forcing her to hold her gaze.

"Let it go Buffy let the pain and loss go, your burden is soo heavy because of the guilt you carry. You are not responsible for what has happened everyone has a choice"

Buffy starred at her mother and said "I am afraid I can't do this anymore mom I don't feel it inside" Buffy moved away from her mother.

Joyce followed her and pulled her close "Be who you were born to be, you are more than just a slayer, you have forgotten that"

Buffy realized what her mother was trying to tell her and she smiled. Joyce kissed her softly and said

"When it's time we will see each other again. But until then let me hold you for a little bit longer"

Buffy leaned into her mother letting her mother's love surround her.

"Mom I don't know if I can do it. I am so tired. I'm tired of trying to hold it all together and having it always fall apart. Of having to make the hard choices to do the right thing and always come out the loser"

Joyce smiled as she stroked her hair and said

"That is called being an adult. Buffy I know you struggle under your burden; I know life is a little bit harder for you. But this is your life, you are meant to have a life you just have to allow yourself the right to it"

Angel left the hospital with a heavy heart but he had to find Marcus.

"Spike call me if anything changes I mean anything" the blonde man gave a slow nod he kissed Dawn and left his love behind.

Angel's mind was blank as he drove back to the mansion he need to shower and start digging he needed to find Marcus.

Marcus was out the door the second the sun set, he had a date with the slayer; he already knew that Angel had left most likely searching for him, and if his plan worked he would be very busy.

Marcus held the door open for a woman carrying her baby; he offered a smile at the happy people while the thought of food flashed within his minds eyes.

He walked around the hospital watching looking for that one moment he could slip into the human world, his patience paid off soon he was walking down the hallway in a pair of scrubs and holding a chart.

He smiled as he stopped in at the nurses' station he ran his tongue over his gums tasting the lingering of his last meal. How he loved foreign interns he focused on the plumb blond behind the computer Becky was her name.

"Becky can you tell me which floor Buffy Summers is on, I have a consult with her family. I keep getting lost" he smiled flashing a wink.

Becky blushed and said "S u m m e r s" spelling out the name her eyes taking note of his name from his id badge.

They chatted while Becky searched for the name she frowned and said

"Dr. Wills we have an A. Summers no Buffy. Are you sure you have the right name?"

Marcus smiled and letting his eyes travel over her frumpy body and said "I'm sorry can you repeat that my mind was somewhere else"

Becky smiled and said "Only summers we have is in room 303 3rd floor" her hand came up to cup her chin.

Marcus reached out and stroked her arm "I will see you later we will go for a drink" he offered her another smile and made his way to the stairs.

Spike looked up and saw Bill in the hallway holding flowers he smiled at the man and welcomed him into the room.

"How is she? "Bill asked looking down at the sleeping slayer

Spike sighed getting to his feet and walking over to the man who's feeling for the slayer reflected clearly in his eyes.

He didn't know what to say he didn't like to lie this thought made him smile; so he offered "We don't know yet we are still waiting"

Bill placed the flowers on her side table and took her hand Spike stepped out of the room to give him some privacy. Several moments later Bill emerged and said

"I need you to look this over and sign it, it's your statement from yesterday" he handed him the envelope holding his statement.

He led Spike to the nurse's station to use the counter top. Marcus stood off in the corner watching he moved with speed and was in the slayers room. He scooped her up and looked around the room. His planning had not gone this far.

Marcus looked at the window and smiled. Down the hall Spike waved Bill off and turned seeing Willow walking down the hall with coffees in her hand.

"Thought you might like some company" the red head smiled wrapping her arm around his waist, she rested her head on his shoulder. Together they walked back into Buffy's room.

The cups slipped from Spikes hand and hit the floor coffee splashing everywhere. "No no" he chanted scanning around the room. He pulled open the bathroom door "Buffy" he called out panic in his voice.

Willow ran from the room yelling for the nurse, half an hour later the whole hospital had been searched with no sign of her.

Giles stood in the hallway at a complete loss fear making his head murky

"How could you let this happen, how could you let someone walk away with her and not see it" his voice was calm.

Spike sat in the chair unable to move he was shocked to the core. Willow spoke up and said

"That is not fair we don't know anything she could have walked out of here on her own"

Giles looked away he knew he was wrong but he needed someone to blame, before he could say anything Dawn rushed in with Angel on her heels.

"How long has she been gone?" Angel asked looking at Spike who did not lift his head.

Angel stood there for a moment and then stepped forward dropping to one knee his placed his hand on the younger mans leg and said.

"I need your help here Spike. You know Buffy and this town better than anyone. Let's go and find her and bring her home"

Spike took a deep breath and stood up he look at Angel and said

"Ok Willow we need you " he reached out his hand to take hers. The others watched as the three of them left the hospital.

Nothing was said as they got in to the car and made their way to the mansion once inside Spike looked at Willow and said.

"When Dawn was missing you where able to connect Buffy to her I need you to do the same with me. Can you do that" he asked.

Marcus gently laid Buffy down on the table, he was pleased with himself for finding this place, it was an old funeral home just on the outskirts of town.

He gently moved the hair from her face and whispered "I'm so happy to see you again, this time we will not be interrupted."

Marcus moved away from the table and reached for the bag under the table he pulled out the radio and black case. He placed his items on the cold steel counter.

Moments later music filled the room and he smiled he opened his case and smiled at the shiny knives nestled in the velvet lining.

Willow was nervous she was afraid of failing; she had not done magic like this since her relapse. She was a bit afraid.

"Willow can you do this?" Spike repeated holding back on his frustration, he needed to Buffy now.

Angel went to make coffee needed to do something he thought it best to leave Willow with Spike.

"I won't lie to you Spike, I'm afraid but I will do it Buffy would do it for me in a heartbeat" the red head moved to the sit on the carpet and motioned for Spike to follow.

"If this is gonna work you need to relax Spike" she said taking a deep breath reaching for his hands.

Soon her mind was floating "I need you to focus on Buffy" she said as her mind wondered

Joyce held her daughter tight when she suddenly looked into the sky above them she shook Buffy and said.

"You need to go back you are not safe" Joyce she letting go of her daughter. Buffy shook her head

"No mom just a little longer" she pleaded reaching for mother.

Joyce shook her head and said "No you need to go NOW; it will be too late if you wait. You're choice may not be yours any longer if you don't go back" Joyce almost shoved her daughter away.

"Buffy think of your life think of who and what you are" Joyce said as she stepped away from her daughter.

Buffy felt suddenly very cold as images filled her head. Images of her life once she found out she was the slayer. All the heartache, all the pain and loneliness, her mind was suddenly filled with images of Giles, Xander and Willow, Dawn and then Spike her family. The laughter, loyalty and love they shared. Angel flashed before her and her love for him surged threw her like lightly.

Marcus slowly ran his finger gently over her belly button having removed her shirt leaving just her bra. He took a moment to appreciate the sight before him; he was a little upset to see her flawed skin.

"Shall we start slayer" he asked not waiting for her to answer. The blade sliced into her tummy.

Willow opened her eyes frustration clearly reflected on her pretty face.

"I can't find her, hell I can't even feel her" she said getting to her feet.

Spike stood up the burden of his guilt almost crushed him he had let his slayer down in the worst way. Dawn how was he to face her knowing if anything happened to Buffy it was his fault.

"Peaches" he called out, when Angel did not response he went looking for him. He stopped in the door way of the kitchen. Angel was leaning toward the counter his back to Spike.

"Angel" Spike called out when his friend didn't answer he moved towards him the closer he got he noticed his friends body vibrating his hands clutched the rim of the counter; his eyes closed his breathing shallow.

"Willow" Spike called out images of when Buffy remembering her lost day flashed in his mind's eye "Angel is having a fit"

The red head ran into the kitchen and without any hesitation placed her hands on Angels back. Images of Buffy and Joyce filled her head.

"He is connected to Buffy" she cried allowing her energy to flow into Angel offering her strength to light the way to the slayer.

Images flashed before Angel he saw Buffy stretched out on a table Marcus and blood his eyes scanned the room looking for something to tell them where she was and he found the clue he was looking for on the table.

Angel snapped out of it as quickly as he was sucked into it, his feet took flight and the other ran to keep up.

Marcus reached for another blade his demon let loose, the hunger in him sang out for more,his mouth sucking her wound clean. He tossed a glance at the slayer's face and was not prepare to see her eyes flash open. A look of confusion filtered on his face.

Buffy did not feel the pain, she moved with speed her leg swung out connecting with Marcus's chest, with the speed and agility only a slayer possessed she was off the table on the attack. It took Marcus buy surprise, it was an all out brawl; the two were bent on killing the other.

"Peaches what did you see where are we going" Spike said as he struggled with his seat belt, Angel was driving like a mad man. Spike was tossed into the door as he took a sharp right.

"Are your eyes open or are you driving with the force" Spike called out as he clicked the belt into place.

Angel tossed him a glance but said nothing focused on his driving.

Buffy crashed through the door she rolled on impact and was on her feet just in enough time for Marcus to tackle her. Buffy saw her moment and reached for the splintered wood on the floor. Marcus saw the stake and rolled away from her. What he did not expect was for the slayer to toss it at him like she was throwing a dart.

Angel and Spike rushed into the building calling out her name with Willow on their heels. Buffy stood proud as the dust settled around her feet. Angel skidded to a stop and took in his mate.

Tears rushed to Spikes eyes as he took in his slayer, the strength was back in her stance, the fire burning in her eyes.

"Slayer" he whispered reaching out to pull her to him, he held her close, his new found heart pounding in is chest.

Buffy smiled returning his love "I love you and I am so very sorry I hope you can forgive me " she whispered into his ear. Once he released her did she look at Angel and say "Lets go home"

Angel reached out for her when she walked past him, "Buffy" he whispered his throat closing as his emotions took over. Buffy stood before the man that she loved and watched the play of emotions cross his face. His eyes a glow.

No words where spoken as she leaned into him sighing as his arms wrapped around her fitting her body to his. His lips covered her in a tender kiss.

Willow smiled blinking away tears as Spike wrapped his arm around her. Buffy stepped away from Angel and repeated "Lets go home"


End file.
